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64 comments:
Thank you everyone.
In a recent case in Arizona Superior court, a female judge ruled the jury could not be told the victim cried rape just six months before the case in trial, under very similar circumstances.
In the earlier case, the so-called victim cried rape against a married man with two infant sons she babysat for AFTER she stole his wallet containing $400 and credit cards.
When contacted by police, the man denied anything occurred, but told police he'd left the victim in his living room to break up a fight between his two and four year old sons in another room.
Upon his return, the so-called victim was gone, and so was his wallet. He immediately reported his credit cards stolen to his credit card companies.
Fortunately for him, his reporting the cards stolen was the only fact that prevented him from being charged with rape and facing more than 50 years in prison.
The so-called victim's cry of rape also effectively stopped the police and the county attorney's office (Maricopa) from pursuing theft charges against the so-called victim.
Six month later, the same babysitter cried rape against another married man employer with two infant sons, after the man returned home from work to find his two infant sons abused by the same babysitter.
To keep her child abuse charges at bay, she seduced her employer, and then called police and cried rape after she left his home.
The superior court judge ruled the jury hearing the case involving the abuse to the two infant boys could not be told about the false claim made six months earlier regarding the theft of the $400 from another married man the so-called victim babysat for.
The second case went to trial without the jury knowing anything about the so-called victim's prior false claim, or about her theft of the $400.
The second case went to trial without the defense attorney even being able to interview the so-called victim before trial due to Arizona's B/S victim's rights laws, enacted by our ever-so-alert and uninformed public.
The second man went to trial looking at 64 years in prison if the so-called babysitter victim was believed by the jury.
Of course, the judge would not tell the jury the man was facing 64 years in prison, either.
No right to confront his accuser in a pretrial interview, no right to tell the jury about the so-called victim's earlier false rape claim a mere six months earlier, and no right to tell the jury he was facing 64 years if they bought the so-called victim's story.
It was her word against his. Since she's seduced him to cover-up the abuse of his kids, DNA was readily available everywhere.
Since the cops lied when they went to his work place to question him about possible abuse to his kids, and he lied to keep a lid on his sex with the babysitter, and to keep his wife from finding out he cheated.
This man was toast and looking at 64 years. Luckily, the jury did the right thing and found the man, against all odds, NOT GUILTY.
The female judge, who kept the earlier false claim of rape from the jury, was not happy with the verdict. She thought she was going to send him away for life. During the trial, the judge was glaring at the defendant, his family, and friends, during the so-called victim's testimony.
The man was guilty of cheating on his wife and two infant sons.
The so-called victim was never prosecuted for child abuse, either.
WHAT IS BLACK MAGIC?
BULLSHIT!
840- worse than bullshit. SPAM!
Is it just me, or has this board developed a different kind of feel lately? I can't describe it, but it's kind of uncomfortable.
Anyone else feel it? There just seems to be so much hatred going on (more than usual ...)
I always get pissed when I see spammers decorate blogs with their spam. especially when it is penis stuff.
I think it has been slow, that is all.
slow or not, i think there is a different vibe. alot of people that usually post here i've noticed haven't been around lately.
what's up with that? where did they all go?
I think they would be here more often if there were more sightings to comment on.
Heh? What does this "trial" story or "black magic" references have to do with anything?
And so, the guy knew the babysitter had abused his kids and he STILL slept with her? He deserved at least a couple years just for stupidity and child endangerment IMO. But as far as I know, you can't be sentenced to jail time foor cheatiing on your wife and infant sons. Maybe the judge knows a thing or 2 about the law?
There is definitely a negative vibe here and it's very unpleasant. If someone posts something the regulars don't don't agree with, they get jumped on, insulted and at times cursed out. Then they come on and deny it and defend themselves but Sprak, Ro and MaryPoppinPills are the worst offenders. It's fine to be opinionated, but they are plain nasty at times. I think their high and mighty, holier than thou attitude instigates many flame wars puts a lot of people off. It certainly made me go back to lurk mode.
When I signed on this morning, someone had left several posts linking to a website selling black magic potion. Hence the SPAM and Black magic references. I don't get the case thing, but it is an interesting story. Abusive babysitter sleeps with the father so she doesn't get prosecuted? more details PLEASE!
And if I offended anyone, that was never my attention. I love you all.
I must disagree with you, "lurke". The meanest postson this blog are posted anonymously just as you posted yours above. Opinions are welcome here. Bad, negligent and possibly harmful childcare is not a positive,"sunshine and lollipops" topic and should I disagree with a comment, I will often opine, but I always sign my name so whoever might disagree with me can say so and I do consider their response. However, if I read a stupid comment posted anonymously I must assume it came from an idiot, which is only logical, and might very well point it out. I'm not here to win a popularity contest.
1:02
I can oftentimes be opinionated also. Because I am a product of child abuse, and a former Nanny, I feel like maybe my input might be valuable. But I would like you to please point out a post where I personally attacked someone's character. I will be more than happy to apologize. I do try not to insult others, unless of course they are being down right nasty first.
I am allowed to have an opposing opinion, same as everybody else. But just because I post often, does not mean I am part of some ISYN Mafia, as was mentioned earlier. If you have a problem with my posts, let me know, I want to hear it. But I happen to think it's the same person over and over repeating they hate the "regulars" ...
I am told by some, including Jane Doe, that they like my posts. If there comes a time where they do not welcome me or my opinion, then I will stop visiting this Blog.
Thanks.
I like all of you, with the exception of "she" who is purposefulyy mean and divisive. Don't go away. And I miss Meme.
weren't there two meme's? or maybe I'm remembering wrong.
I am an always anonymous poster who appreciates all the "regulars"--although there are so many on this site, not quite sure who are considered regulars and who are not at any given moment. I like Mom's post and advice (although I was blown away when you posted your age awhile back--the way you refer to your experiences I thought you were a senior citizen) and I'm shocked anyone would be offended by Mary Poppin Pills postings (love the moniker). She always seems to bend over backwards to see both sides (although I thought you were too rough on your recent post to the salad mom). Cali Mom and Sprak are always colorful, but I rarely agree with them and there sometimes over the top. I can never guess what side of an issue Eric's Mom will come down on and I've seen quite a few postings from Caroline makes sense. I come here to learn more about how to be a better nanny employer and I often recognize myself in some of the discussions/posts. I like hearing the nanny's side and even the SAHM opinions since they are usually very different than mine and I have changed some of my approaches because of what I've read here. Thank you all.
That was a thoughtful post. I tend to read the posts and use the information to become more informed about what's going on in our world and what we can do to make it better. The most important thing about the posters is that they care enough to post and that their hearts are in the right place, whether we agree with them or not. Some posters are more tolerant than others, for sure. Some get really riled up over some of the sighting and/or comments, but it usually just indicates how much they care.
Interestingly, nasty people never think they are. Sprak, calling someone an idiot is not the same as expressing an opposite opinion, and doesn't prompt a stimulating discussion.
Why are some of us not here as often? Currently it seems many threads deteriorate into personal petty arguments between two or three posters that go on ad infinitum, that have nothing to do with the issues in the original post, and are not of interest to other readers.
Well, Mom is 46 now...on my way to senior citizenship!
I was glad I posted my age a while back too b/c I started to worry that you all might think I was a granny (not that there's anything wrong with that) since my oldest son is grown...and apparently I was right.
I have just lived a lot in my years...especially when it comes to time spent with kids, and all of the weird experiences that can(and have) go along with that!
I was also pleasantly surprised to see that many of you are within my own "age range." Kind of makes it a little easier to relate, even though our kids may be at different stages.
There was one Meme and one Mimi from what I remember. I don't recall a lot about Mimi, but Meme was a great contributor.
As a matter of fact, I usually call a spade a spade or for that matter, an idiot an idiot. If someone writes an idiotic post, I must assume that the writer is an idiot.
Cheers!
7:24
Thank you for your thoughtful and honest post.
And you are right ... earlier as I read back over the 'Salad Mom' post, I also thought it may have been too harsh.
I think the 2 things that stuck in my craw were her comments about Nannies being "overpaid Goddesses" who do nothing but tend to children.
The other reason was because OP said she was a decent Nanny, and although she had a few problems with her ... I personally felt that her Nanny deserved a lot more respect than the way she was just booted out, with no notice.
Anyway, it was the heat of the moment, and I do feel bad about it.
I, too, must respectfully agree with the earlier anonymous poster about the vibe here being negative. Even though I am new, I have backed off because of it. &:40 hit the nail on the head. A lot of posts seem to spiral into a negative war between 2 or three people, and it's usually a few of the regulars Vs some anonymous blogger. I must say, there have been times I have agreed with people who posted unpopular views on here but worried if I posted my opinion in support, I would be attacked or accused of being someone else in disguise, as I have seen done on here.
I have mentioned this before and never got any response. Why even argue back with someone you think is just a troll looking to start a flame war? The quickest way to end that sort of nonsense is to not continue it. Does anyone here thing that calling someone an idiot is going to make them say "Gee, I AM an idiot, thanks for pointing that out and from now on I will definitely see things your way!" On the contrary, calling someone an idiot is going to just rile them up. If they were posting a legitimate thought, or opposing POV, they are likely going to defend themselves, probably with some unflattering insults back, and if they are really a troll, they are going to revel in the attention you have just given them and post more drek to fuel the flames. The best way to deal with this sort of thing is to either offer civil commentary on why you disagree, or, if you really think it's a troll or a known trouble maker from the past, just ignore it completely and strike up another conversation. Chances are, they might post one or two more comments, but if they have no bites they will go fish elsewhere.
FNG,
I agree with you EXCEPT in the case where somebody has posted an intentionally stupid and cruel comment (those are sort of obvious), or is unfairly bashing somebody else's post. I think it is nice, and only right, to come to the defense of the person being attacked at those times.
In keeping with what you have said here about keeping fights going unreasonably long, I never speak directly to the one person I recognize as "she," but I do point her out when I recognize her in order to keep others from getting drawn into her nonsense. (As in with Cali Mom yesterday...although I assume Cali Mom also recognizes her style, and certain of her commonly used phrases...such as "piss off," or whichever one she let slip yesterday.)It seeme to work. Most people just stop writing back when they realize it is her...so we are making some progress.
Unfortunately, there are just some people who find pleasure in causing trouble and we are going to have to live with and learn to deal with their presence.
As for differing opinions...those are great. I have actually changed or softened my opinions on a few subjects as a result of reading people's rational reasons for feeling differently than I do on certain issues. Sometimes we just haven't thought of something from the other guy's perspective.
I read this blog often enough. I don't have children personally, but I take in interest in the goings on here.
I have used three or four different monikers, but usually refrain from posting my own opinions after someone suggested I should be forcefully sterilized in a disagreement about sweets.
=) Cheers!
To those who think I overreacted by calling someone an idiot who wrote the following post:
**Religious zealots from Poland? I don't think so. Many employees of international corps. or governments are posted here for a couple of years. Maybe they don't want their children exposed to our shallow materialistic values and vulgar pop culture!**
First of all, I disagree that four year olds playing pleasantly on a playground could have lifelong negative effects on one another and therefore I thought the comment was stupid. Also, I don't like anyone bashing my country. Maybe I am overly patriotic but I did not care for the poster's comments about our culture. I am very proud to be an American, but if fng and anonymous at 7:40 think those comments were conducive to stimulating conversation, then by all means, they should converse with the "anonymous" idiot.
Sprak,
Word on the street was that you had taken a lover. I would've thought it would have mellowed you just a bit.
Sprak, You seem to have misunderstood the point of that post. The poster did not express HER OWN point of view, she is suggesting what the FOREIGN PARENTS might be thinking, who don't want their children playing with Americans. Having worked abroad, I can say this attitude toward American culture is not uncommon; unjust or not, there it is.
I'm so glad that we've been able to open up for discussion some of the turmoil that has been emanating between posters lately ...
Mom, I have also noticed that more posters are beginning to ignore the strife. It definately makes for more pleasant reading.
Sprak, May I ask what gives you or anyone else for that matter the right to call someone an idiot- Or stupid? And I am not referring to one post in particular, just posts in general. Just because someone holds a certain point of view, it doesn't make them an idiot, or stupid. And I am not talking about the posts intended to start flame wars wither, FNG is right, those should just be ignored. While coming to the defense of someone who's attacked is moral & noble, it will just egg on the attacker. I agree with FNG, no matter what some troll says, it's best to act as if it never happened. Of course, if they're vulgar then it should just be deleted, if JD sees fit.
By the way, Sprak, that phrase you use, calling a spade a spade. Are you aware that it sounds extremely racist and inflamatory? (Even though it's not) Many people mistakenly think it's a derogatory reference to African Americans and some online communities won't allow it's use anymore than they would the N word.
You know what, SupernannyNJ? I wonder at YOUR motives in pointing out an innocent phrase as a possible racist comment. Talking about someone wanting to start something over nothing.
Anonymous1, my purpose in pointing it out is to show that sometimes something meant one way can easily be taken another. Also, I happen to not agree with anyone defending their right to call someone an idiot or stupid just because they feel their POV is. If I have the right impression based upon comments here, I think Sprak is mature and thick skinned enough to be adressed directly in a non-confrontational way. I could ask the same of your motives, Anonymous1, as I was not adressing you but rather a person who's previous comments have proven them be intelligent and emotionally strong enough to be spoken to frankly.
OOPS! Forgot to put my moniker. 2:36 is from SuperNannyNNJ.
Let me just say that I get real tired of people trying to bring up the race issue on this blog and don't really care who you were addressing since it will be read by more than just one person which is usually enough to fuel the fire again. Of course that's just my opinion
And let me just say it's gets
old when people butt in with //opinions// that seem a lot like thinly veiled atempts to start trouble.
your not talking to me, i hope? i'm just shocked that something like this is being brought up entirely because it IS such a sensitive issue. all i said was wow.
A spade was the common term for a shovel in the 1600's. A spade is also a playing card, the term obviously means to avoid using euphanisms and say what you mean.
It might be thought that this derives from the derogatory slang use of the term spade meaning Negro - an American term originating in the 20th century. That view of it as derogatory might also be thought to be supported by this piece from John Trapp's Mellificium theologicum, or the marrow of many good authors, 1647:
"Gods people shall not spare to call a spade a spade, a niggard a niggard."
The phrase is much older than that though. Nicolas Udall, in his Apophthegmes, that is to saie, prompte saiynges. First gathered by Erasmus - translated 1542, has:
"Philippus aunswered, that the Macedonians wer feloes of no fyne witte in their termes but altogether grosse, clubbyshe, and rusticall, as they whiche had not the witte to calle a spade by any other name then a spade."
This refers back to Plutarch's Apophthegmata, 178 BC.
The eccentric right-wing British Tory politician Sir Gerald Nabarro was fond of emphasizing his direct 'man of the people' image by saying 'I call a spade a shovel'. In fact, despite being from an immigrant family himself, Nabarro loudly supported the repatriation of Caribbean immigrants to the UK. How he referred in private to the people who would have undoubtedly have been called 'spades' in Nabarro's social circle isn't recorded.
JD, are u honoring Mom again today?
just wondering.
No 6:33, this one is clearly a shout out to you.
6:33
is that you fg??
Thank you, Concetta. ☺
JD
Your cute little doggy pics are such a treat!
I ♥love♥ them!
This is a warning to everyone out there about UK nanny Linda. She is lazy, overweight and fully unexperienced. The agency that sent her is London-based and they did not even check her references, but chashed in 20% of salary upfront. I can only warn anyone out there, as this specific woman is very false and bad for your baby.
Nice post Concetta. But I just want to verify that you realize that in the following post "Niggard" does not refer to black people at all. A niggard is a stingy person...of any color. I just thought there might be csome confusion because of the current discussion and the fact that both terms are used in the same sentence, one after the other.
Also, "Call a spade a spade" refers to being direct and clear...not about calling black people "spades."
"Gods people shall not spare to call a spade a spade, a niggard a niggard."
Whoever it was above that got called racist for using that term deserves an apology.
oops. That was me above, not "moom." ("moom" makes me sound perhaps a bit "fluffier" that I would like!)
Here is an article on CNN about a mom using a nanny cam and seeing her twin babies neglected. The video is pretty dramatic as the nanny picks up the infants by their shirts (think how a mama cat picks up a kitten by the scruff)
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/02/22/lamb.nc.nanny.cam.abuse.wral
Oh that was awful-the way she handled the children! But what was the nanny wearing? It looked like she was wrapped in a sheet. ??
I bet she was all fake and phony to the parents at night. I urge every parent to nanny cam.
No one called anyone a racist for using it they just said it is often thought to be a racist comment LEARN TO READ!!!!
Mom, you beat me to it in defining "niggard" as a stingy person. As in "niggardly". Has nothing to do with ethnic background or pigmentation.
And what did I say to "she..."? I remember answering "peace" to someone a few nights ago, was that the one you meant?
Whenever I see a post that just defies ALL common sense and human logic (ie the one about tossing a live goldfish in the trash is just fine and not to worry about because people can eat fish for dinner), I always suspect. Or that a nanny should be expected to provide her own food for a 12 hour day because she is not a coal miner and anyone who disagrees is a "bleeding heart lib". Hmmmm.
Anonymous 5:55
Learn to spell. It goes P-M-S!
-Please post this in Perspective & Opinion, thank you!–
Our wonderful babysitter recently had a very close member of her family pass away. We love her like one of our own children, and want to be there for her in every respect. My question is, how can I make sure that she knows I am there if she needs anything without making her uncomfortable?
All opinions appreciated; thank you.
Anonymous 7:07
PMS huh? Is that why your are such a witch?
See U Next Tuesday!
I have a question for parents and nannies.
I work for several families, two steady and 3 on call.
I have yet to call out sick for the 2 families who use me during the work week because they are really depending on me. If I can't make it, one of them has to miss work.
The other three families I sit for on call on weekends so the parents can have a night out. I had never called out on any of these families either because that's not my way. If I say I will be there I will be there! Until this past Saturday night.
I was sick as a dog starting Thursday evening. I went to the Doctor Friday and was diagnosed with a double ear infection, an infected throat and sinusitis, basically a really bad, contagious cold. The doctor suggested I take my meds, stay in bed for a few days and avoid contact with people I liked because they would be sure to catch it. I immediately wrote one of the families to cancel Saturday evening because of how I felt and the fact that the kids, one of whom is prone to bronchitis, would be vulnerable.
The mother went ballistic! Keep in mind I have been sitting for them at least once per month, Saturday night, for over three years. Never had I called to cancel before. She insisted I could come over and lay on her couch and not interact with the kids much, but she and her husband needed her night out. I declined and she was very angry. This morning, she sent an e-mail saying she was unsure she could continue to use my services because she needed someone reliable. Since the kids were attached to me and we had never had an issue before he would consider keeping me if I would come over today. As I am still sick, I declined again. It's worth mentioning this is a stay at home mom with help during the week who's 3 kids are in school, pre-school and the youngest in daycare 3 mornings, so it's not like she gets no down time. In addition, her husband is an elective procedure surgeon so he makes his own very flexible schedule, so it's not like Saturday night is the only night they have.
My question to parents is, isn't it crazy to want someone who is clearly not up to the challenge to come watch your kids and to be willing to expose them to a very nasty illness ?
Also nannies, have you ever encountered this nonsense before?
I am bewildered because I thought I had a great relationship with this woman but her reaction shocked me. Your thoughts?
That's just ridiculous! You should tell her that YOU are not sure if you can continue to work with a family who would respond so unsympathetically to the ONE time you have called in sick in 3 YEARS! I would tell her you are shocked at her behavior. Personally, I would tell her off and quit.
Thats what I keep saying. All these nannies that don't want to leave their families, because they are attached to the kids. But when you get sick one time, forget it. Its like your their enemy. And everyone gets sick. So whats the deal. Honestly, I think if you like a regular sitter for Saturday nites, you should have back up. I work for someone occasionally, who has two nannies as a back up. If I can't do it, she will see if they can.
This woman's selfishness even extends to putting her desire to go out ahead of her children's health. She certainly doesn't care about you.
I hope you tell her you will no longer be available!
Unfortunately, there are some employers who are very nice, as long as you are useful to them, and then show their true colors in a situation like this. I had that experience with a mom who was very considerate until she knew she would be moving, and not need me much longer. At that point she never came home on time, and never called to let me know she would be late, even though she knew I had to be at an evening job. You just have to recognize it for what it is, and move on.
A Nanny
Great article in Page 6 Magazine today. Way to go, "Jane". Hope you're feeling better.
email this posting to a friend north jersey craigslist > childcare
please flag with care:
miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist
Looking for experienced and caring babysitter!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: zhangqiuk@hotmail.com
Date: 2008-02-25, 8:51AM EST
We are looking for an experienced, caring, ideally stay-at-home Mom to look after our wonderful 2 year old boy. We can drop off and pick up from your home daily, flexibility is a must since we need long hours Monday through Friday. (Usually 7am-6, 7pm) and available to care for him when he is sick. English speaking is a must. We are willing to pay up to $300 a week for the right candidate. Please apply if you live within 10 miles from Secaucus area and are available long term. Please email me at zhangqiuk@hotmail.com.
Location: Secaucus/Bergen County/Hudson County
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 585987307
They are willing to pay UP TO 300 per week! WHOOP DEE DOO!
Yeah, really.
At least you don't have to pay for the gas, lol.
Pathetic!
Ummm so they are willing to pay a whole 5.00 an hour! WOWWEE WOW WOW! AND they are going to drag the poor baby out to the sitter when he is sick. Nice parents!
does anyone have a link to the new york times page 6 magazine that jennifer is speaking about? I can't find it online. TIA
Supernannynnj, yes I would definitely tell that CUNextTuesday creature that you can no longer consider working with someone who has such a blatant disregard for her children's health and well being, or that of a person whose services she supposedly values. Maybe you should thank her for clarifying your relationship, and let her know that you had apparently had some misconceptions regarding yourself, her, and her family dynamics before this happened.
Leave her as high and dry as possible, but if you have the opportunity to talk to the kids beforehand, saya nice goodbye to THEM.
Could She Be A Klepto?
I have a problem that I am not sure what to do about. First a little history.
I have 2 children, one with special needs. After going through several sitters, we found one we love. She comes everyday M-F Three to Eight PM. We pay her 20.00 per hour. She is wonderful! Our kids love her, she's never late or out sick. She does the dishes and cleans up after the kids and herself. She takes them great places and does all sorts of crafts with them. The problem. I think she is a Kleptomaniac! Since she started, I noticed small things disappearing. Nothing of real worth. A ream of paper from my home office, packags of wipes, pens, staples, toilet paper, etc. Even pampers though she has no babies in her family! Oddly enough, if I leave money, or jewelry lying around, that is never gone. I know it's the nanny because of the rate we go through things now that she's working here and the other day when I realized I was out of printer paper my Son said Nanny X took it. I know this is no big deal and I am not trying to be cheap here. I would gladly give this woman anything out of my home because other than this little issue, she's wonderful. But I am curious as to other parents and nannies opinions. Is it worth losing a great nanny over petty crap or could this be a sign of things to come? I'm not sure as she's been with us nearly a year.
(To the editor: I don't know if this question really falls into the scope of this site, but from what I've seen it has some of the best dialogue on nanny issues. I would truly appreciate if you posted this.)
I am currently in college and working part time as a nanny. I love my job- my employers are a wonderful family, and I truly enjoy working with children.
I graduate in a year, and plan to go to graduate school. However, I want to take a year or two "off" from academia, and am seriously considering taking a full time, perhaps live-in, position.
My qualifications are as follows:
- Experience caring for infants, toddlers, and pre-school / school-aged children, including multiples.
- Excellent references.
- Nationally Registered Emergency Medical Technician, certified in Child / Infant CPR for the Professional Rescuer.
- Licensed driver with an impeccable record (and no criminal record).
- US Citizen.
- Private school alumna.
- Fluent in French.
- I do not smoke, drink, or use drugs.
- Good cook and willing to do light housework / cooking.
- Would be more than happy to travel with your family.
I would be most interested in positions in large cities such as New York, Boston, Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco, etc.
Based on these factors, what kind of salary could I expect? And is it possible to look for such jobs without using agencies?
Thank you very much for your input!
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