19 December, 2007

Two Nannies Ask....

Received Wednesday, December 19, 2007-Perspective & Opinion
1)Hello to all my fellow nannies and hello to all parents/ interested readers. I am a full time nanny for a young boy and have come to this site with a question! I have been employed as a full time nanny/housekeeper for just about one year. My question is as follows: What type of bonus is appropriate for someone in my shoes? I don't want to get my hopes up but am sort of expecting a week's salary as my holiday bonus. I have been very punctual and reliable as a nanny for the past ten months and I work over 50 hours per week as a live out nanny for one child. I clean the entire house and do all of the laundry. What do you think I should be getting? The family I work for is well-off, if you know what I mean. A fair bonus will ultimately determine whether or not I will re-sign the nanny contract... Also, I spent quite a bit of time and money gathering the perfect gifts for the parents and child. I hope the family really does like me and decides to pay me appropriately. In the past with my nanny bonuses, I have found that I've gotten a week's salary after working a year. I guess that's where I got this idea. Thank you for your time and I look forward to your responses!

2) I heard my very well off (exceedingly wealthy) employer talking with another person who I will not identify here for purposes of privacy, but in short, they were discussing a present that she received from her mother. It was a sweater that my employer thought was "hideous". I imagine it was quite expensive, but the problem is that the two of them in cahoots decided that this would be a great gift for me and "save her the money" and "hassle" of having to go out again. Now I know that it is crowded out there, but I have already done my holiday shopping. I have already purchased gifts for all three of her children, her husband, her and the housekeeper. I think if she tries to pass off some re gifted sweater to me, I am going to go ballistic. Why is it so hard for some employers to understand that good nannies work every day using not just their brains but a huge part of their hearts. In most jobs, you don't have to use your heart so much. I think of my employer's comfort every day. I think of their children and am always thinking of what I can do for them to make their life better. If I get this sweater, I think I am going to say, "oh this is the one you're mother got you, you didn't like it?". Would that be so wrong? To call someone out on a re gifting?

30 comments:

nynanny said...

1) i think a weeks salary is a fair expectation for a bonus from your boss.

2) maybe you should rethink the gift you got your boss and return it for stuff from the dollar store. if she is that ungrateful towards you to regift a "hideous" sweater then she doesn't deserve a thing! and i would absolutley call her out on the fact that it was a regift from her mother! keep us posted on what you decide to do!

Anonymous said...

#2-Accept the sweater. Put it in your drawer. Wait til the mother comes to visit and wear it proudly.

Anonymous said...

The honest truth to both nannies is that unless it says that you should receive a bonus or a nice (not re-gifted) gift as a holiday treat in your contract, you may receive nothing. If you receive anything at all you should be grateful for the gift and enjoy the holiday season.

I do agree that a one week bonus (especially if you are taking unpaid time off) during the holiday season is a good idea as a rule of thumb (or more if the family can swing it), but is not necessary. Some families may already be struggling to pay their nanny (even if they seem wealth, this is the kind of family I work for) but still wanting to give some kind of gift. I think it is only appropriate to take the gift, if any, thank the employer, and move on with your situation.

Anonymous said...

1. A one week bonus would be usual the first year.

2. I think it would be hilarious to call her out on the re gifting. On the other hand, have you seen the sweater? It might be a nice cashmere in a color that you like, and your employer doesn't! She sounds ungrateful and selfish. I would not give the parents gifts, the three children are enough.
I know it hurts to put your heart into a job and feel that your employer doesn't appreciate you, but I bet the children do.

Anonymous said...

My employers have been hinting that all they are doing for ANYBODY is a picture of the baby...so while I would always treasure that...it would be nice to get a bonus.

cali mom said...

Anon at 6:05, that's a great suggestion, LOL!

On the other hand,, it's true that you might like the sweater a lot. just because your boss doesn't, doesn't mean it isan't something YOU might truly like. If you want to call her out on the re-gifting, just be prepared to leave the job immediately. It would be momentarily gratifying, but not terribly polite, and re-gifting is probably pretty commonly done, so just be prepared for the consequences f you decide to spill those beans.

marypoppin'pills☼ said...

To Nanny #2 ~
I think 6:05 had a brilliant idea! And I know you may want to call the Mom out, but if you otherwise like your job ... don't do it.
Hopefully they will soften the blow with a little extra something in the way of a monetary bonus.
Good luck.

Cheryl said...

a weeks salary is an appropriate bonus, unless the family is in serious financial trouble.

#2- I should hope you get more than just a sweater for the holidays. If you do only get that, I LOVE the idea of wearing it when grandma is on a visit, if you can do it with a straight face. That might be impossible!

mom said...

I was told a week's salary was the appropriate amount to give my housekeeper (who works only once a week), so I imagine you should receive at least the same as a full time employee. Of course, your week's salary constitutes a far bigger bonus than my housekeeper's...but it still sounds reasonable ot me.

It is rude and tacky to complain about a gift, no matter what. Don't be like your ungrateful employer who dissed the gift her mother was kind enough to choose for her. I also LOVE the idea of saying nothing and then "innocently" wearing it in front of mom on her next visit...but then I would hate to think of mom potentially being very hurt that what she may have thought was a wonderful gift for her daughter was so unappreciated. Maybe do this instead. Say nothing to indicate you know where the sweater came from, but be sure to have it on plenty early on the day mom is expecetd for her next visit. Be sure your employer sees you in it and watch her squirm. She will be forced to make up a bunch of lame excuses as to why you need to change. Be ready to dismiss them all cheerfully and DO NOT CHANGE...until your employer is forced to eat crow and come clean about the REAL reason you CAN'T wear the sweater in front of her mom. Then act completely horrified...maybe even pretend to cry.

a mom said...

I agree with 605. Also, only give gifts to the children, as it is obvious mommy dearest would not appreciate anything you give her.

marypoppin'pills♪ said...

Wow, Mom ... even I didn't think of poor Grannys feelings. Maybe doing it your way would be better!

shelia said...

#2- who was the other person?
Sometimes good people are unduly influenced by douchebags.

Baltimore nanny said...

I am a nanny in Baltimore County, Maryland and I am sure as heck expecting my one week's bonus. If I don't get it, then I will know, indeed, that this is not the family I want to stay with.

I know what I want, I set goals and if they are not met, I simply move on.

If the worst happens and I do not receive my $700 bonus, it will be their loss as I move on to new and more exciting things in life.

Anonymous said...

I think people are missing Nanny#2's point. It's not the regifting that is getting to her, it's the conversation she overheard that is making her feel unappreciated for her efforts. Parents who have a Nanny should go above and beyond this time of year if your Nanny is doing a good job of taking care of your kids. I understand fully how this Nanny can feel like she means very little to the mother if she would give her something that she doesn't like all because she can't take the time to do something nice for her Nanny. She is ridiculous.

we need a nanny union said...

#1) Don't get your hopes up...I worked for an extremely rich family during last year's holidays, and had been with them for 10 months and I didn't get a bonus. I was livid. Needless to say, I quit in January! Hope for nothing, and then you'll be even happier when you get what you should get, which is at least one week's salary. But here in western NY, our bosses don't seem to have gotten that '2-4 weeks salary as a bonus' memo.

#2) I would not be able to contain myself. If I opened up that hideous sweater, and nothing else, I would quit right then and there. How rude!!

Anonymous said...

Maybe, you can find out wear the sweater was bought. Maybe, the box it came in will have a store name or slogan on it?

Try and find out maybe you can return it the day after Christmas. Even if theres no receipt maybe you can get store credit. Who knows even though its ugly, it could be worth more than you realize.

I saw a mans sweater I wanted to get my husband. It was beautiful. But the price! $600.00.

Anonymous said...

#2 - you should not judge your employer on something you overheard. Sometimes we say certain things when we are with certain people that we do not mean. Even if she regifts that sweater to you AND you don't like it, I would try to exchange it first, get store credit rather than wearing it in front of the mom - even if you do humiliate your employer, which is by no means certain, I don't think it will make you feel a lot better. Just unload your heart to her and be honest about it. If she is worth working for, she will understand. "The truth shall set you free"...

Anonymous said...

6:05, I must say, I LOVE your devious little plan.

Anonymous said...

Mom @ 11:16, that is the best comment I have ever seen on her. Seriously, I am so happy to see a sense of humor!

Anonymous said...

I don't think that most nanny employers expect a gift from thier nanny. Giving a gift to the children is kind, but I would rather see my nanny of 4 months spend her money she works so hard for on herself and her own family than me.

BTW, I already gave our nanny a week's pay as bonus so she can use it for her Christmas shopping. I don't think it's unrealistic to expect a week's pay. And 6:14 I hope your not suggesting that you should give a nanny a bonus in lieu of paying her vacation/holday time. She/he should get paid for vacation and holidays.

Anonymous said...

To we need a nanny union, just wondering, how rich is extremely rich? And how did you know they were extremely rich? Did you tell them in January that you were quitting because they gave you absolutely nothing as a bonus? What did they say? (Of course they should have given you at least one week if you had been there for ten months!)

I am also wondering what you mean by Western NY. Do you mean Rockland County or what?

Just curious. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I am a nanny and I do decided whether or not I am going to stay with the family I work for based on a christmas bonus. I bought my charge a toy and an outfit, got the parents some nice chocolates and a gift card to go out to eat, they got a me a gift card, which was more than enough. However I would have been VERY content just getting the card that they wrote me telling me how much they appreciate me. The bond I have with the child and his parents is far more important than a christmas bonus, all you nannies who go by bonuses should really find a new job. I cannot imagine leaving my charge and his family because of a bonus.

8:55 said...

***This is the previous poster, that is supposed to say I DO DONT DECIDE, sorry for the typo, I was having trouble figuring out how to word what I was saying.

Anonymous said...

UGH previous poster again i give up i am too tired haha.

Anonymous said...

8.55: when you don't get a bonus, it means you're not appreciated or that you weren't up to expectations the year before. Sometimes people just want to be acknowledged for going the extra mile. Most employers are aware of that and someone employing a nanny should be aware of it too.

Of course the kids are important. Of course most nannies like the children very much but when you don't get a bonus or a proper gift, that means the family doesn't care much for you. That means you're lower than the hair dresser (who is probably given a Christmas tip!) and of absolutely no importance to the family. That's when you know it's time to move on to a family who will appreciate you better.

There are so many good families around and it's not too difficult to find one as long as you're presentable , speak well enough and can demonstrate that you're not child molester. Why not pick the best family for yourself?

p/s: by you, I don't mean you personally but just a general you.

we need a nanny union said...

2:07am-Exactly the way I feel too. I always go above and beyond my job expectations and it would be nice to be acknowledged for that. Every year I make sure to acknowledge my paper delivery person, mail carrier, hair dresser, Schwann Food delivery guy, Mary Kay lady and my husband's teaching assistants, with something extra. Why don't I get the same consideration?

By Western NY I meant Rochester.

By extremely rich I meant 20,000 sq foot house, VP for a MAJOR company and owners of many businesses and head of a specific type of surgery for the nation (w/o giving away too much!). One of them could have quit their job and they still would have racked in over a million a year.

Anonymous said...

I think it's weird if you're buying the "perfect present" for your employers. Buy the kids something if you want or get the family a box of chocolates. They're not going to agonize over what to get you and might get the idea you have too much disposable income.

Anonymous said...

So, nanny #2, what ended up happening? Were you regifted?

Anonymous said...

Dear Employers and Nanny's
I have been employed for the past 6 yrs as a nanny for two attorneys. I am fun my number one rule is safety first and very personabl with my childcare. I have also worked in a officw and had two employ childcare. The person who would just give their childcare provider a picture and say be happy with that has to be someone who is not compasionate for another human being, when you know childcare is a fulltime job and then some. the company that some of the empolyers work for give unamaginable bonuses what is a weeks salary to your babysitter who in turn leave her children that she raises over the phone to give your child surrogate care. you probaly spend more than that on wasted goods that are in the attic for the next 20 yrs just do unto others because no matter what your opinion of the position you are still dealing with a person who feels too not an animal

Anonymous said...

HELLO I am the original poster of the "Nanny 1" story. I was expecting to get a $700 bonus and (sorry it has taken me so long to reply about what has happened), I got that bonus. I also got a nice picture of the child I work with. I was impressed to say the least with my bonus and have decided to stay with the family. HOWEVER, I will note here that I am not happy with the fact that I do not have any health insurance or retirement. I'm sad to say that in the past month, I've sort of realized that I can't stay a nanny without health insurance and retirement... :( Unless I was married and well that's not gonna happen any time soon. So I am staying with this family until I get a "real job". My parents are always on me for this "real job" thing and well, they are right. Bottom line: Health Insurance is important.