Thursday

Part Time Nanny's Hurt Feelings...

Received Thursday, December 20, 2007-Perspective & Opinion
I live in LA and have worked for the family for about 4 months. Since I'm part time, I didn't really expect a bonus, but thought I would get a gift card or a little something extra in my paycheck. I received nothing, not even a card. Yesterday was my last day since the parents are both taking 2 weeks off from their jobs. Until now, they have been very sweet and I love the kids, but they didn't even wish me a Merry Christmas or give me a card. Just last month they told me how great I'm doing and how much the girls love having me around. When they told me they wouldn't need me for 2 weeks, they promised to have me work for a couple nights to make up for the loss in income, and now that's not happening either. I just feel so disrespected, I'm not sure I can continue working for them in January. It really hurt my feelings! I had an interview today, hopefully that will work out.

32 comments:

alina said...

please leave this family, obviously, they dont care about you, i really hope you find a better family.

HlywdMom said...

Sounds like these parents can't afford a nanny. Or they are just new to having a nanny and clueless. However, I'm an LA mom and I find it hard to believe they don't know basic protocol about xmas and paying someone for missed work or working something out. Perhaps they are strapped and trying to afford something they can't. Definitely consider moving on.

unreal said...

At the very least, they should be paying you for the two weeks they are taking off. if they are not doing that, you need to speak with them because that is common nanny practice.

As for them not giving you a gift-that is tacky. is it possible they are still planning on giving you so0mething? did you give them or their kids anything-did they say anything about that?

Sorry:( said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. Being a nanny is not an easy job. Not only do you have to click with the kids you have to be involved with parents too and to be honest the parents are the hardest part!
I think you should find another job. Your feelings are hurt, and they are oblivious. There is the possibility you'll hold a grudge against them. Find someplace where you are appreciated!

sheila said...

These people are shitheads. They have no business having a nanny. They are trying to live beyond their means. It is akin to going to a restauraunt you can't afford and compromising by giving the waitress NOTHING. Ditch them like a pair of stretched out spanx.

Anonymous said...

Good Luck with ur interview..

;)

Anonymous said...

Not trying to defend them, but it sounds so inconsistent. Is it possible they mailed something in an xmas card to your home and you haven't received it yet?

Anonymous said...

Are the parents going away for a week or two? I mean they should know that you need money to survive. Its not like you took off two weeks and expect to get paid.
How would they feel if they weren't paid from their jobs. We all have our bills that have to be paid every month.

Anonymous said...

OP Just curious, you say you're a part time nanny. How many hours do you work? I'm thinking that maybe if it's just a handful of hours that they didn't consider you as a nanny but more like a babysitter. It's poor form in any event. Could they be trying to tell you something?

atl nanny said...

Good luck with your interview. I hope you find a family who will appreciate you. Even if they absolutely could not afford to give you a small bonus or gift, the LEAST they could do was have the children make you a card and wish you a sincere Merry Christmas. The fact that they didn't even do that, suggests to me that lack of money is not the issue at all. It sounds like a lack of respect. It's time to move on.

Anonymous said...

I am in a similar situation, no bonus after working 4 months. I am very consistent and lowered my hourly rate because they weren't sure they could afford me. They're a great family- but I was suprised to not get an actual bonus (I did get a gift card & candle). Do you think it's just because of the length of employment?

Anonymous said...

I hope your interview results in a new and better job. Be sure in your negotiations that you mention that you expect to be paid if the family goes away. Not all employers understand that this is standard, especially if you are PT.
If you have regular set hours, and they want to be able to depend on your availability, you need to be able to count on the income! Good luck.

Anonymous said...

OP I'm sorry to hear your feelings were hurt. Are you sure the parents are not getting you anything? I know that this time of year everything is crazy, and it is always the very last minute right before Xmas by the time I've remembered everyone on the list: postman, piano teacher, etc.

If they are not away, why not call them on the phone and ask about the couple of nights that they were going to have you work? You could also mention that you got a gift for the kids for Xmas and you want to drop it off. This will help plant the seed if the parents truly forgot (I think quite possible at this hectic time of year).

If come January they still do not give you anything, just tell them that your feelings were very hurt that you did not receive any kind of acknowledgement whatsoever of their appreciation around the holidays. That is a good way to phrase it too, so you don't appear grubby or greedy. There is no harm in telling them at that point since you will be quitting anyway. One can hope that they would apologize profusely and get you a nice gift or bonus then . . . Anyway there is no harm in telling them about your hurt feelings in January. Let us know what you decide to do and what happens.

Upstate Mom said...

I don't think it should matter if they consider her a nanny or a babysitter. I've had mother's helpers after work(I was always home) when I worked full-time, and gave them a holiday bonus as well as a birthday gift. I give holiday gifts to the cleaning lady, daycare provider(s) and the water deliveryman too! Doesn't matter what they consider her, it's just acceptable practice.

Anonymous said...

Hi, OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To answer your questions:

The reason I know they are not getting me anything is that last week the mom mentioned to her husband that they needed to write all the holiday checks that night. That was 8 or 9 days ago. I would have received a card by now if it were mailed.

It's weird b/c they've never given me anything but praise. Maybe it is money. I felt a strange tension the last 2 days, but I chalked it up to holiday stress.

I did buy the family a present, but after being dismissed without even a "Merry Christmas" I decided it would be awkward if I gave it to them.

The interview went well, and hopefully will turn into a regular thing.

Anonymous said...

Maybe they are of alternate religion and hate Christmas?

hlywdmom said...

Hey OP, I could probably help you find a new job. You sound great and I know plenty of families looking for a nanny. And who will be appreciative of a great nanny! How can I get in touch?

Anonymous said...

It does not sound very nice that they are not paying you for the time off. How are you supposed to pay your bills? I have paid one week off for my babysitter
(not to mention a holiday gift).

Anonymous said...

Leave. If you take the shabby treatment they are dishing out to you then they will feel it's ok to treat you like crap. Do not return. I wouldn't even give notice. Just don't show up when they expect you back--whether you have found something or not. To not even wish you Happy Holidays shows that they could care less about you, Nanny

mom said...

I wouldn't do anything drastic until the holiday season is over.
My housekeepers finished up quickly downstairs and left while I had hopped in the shower last time. Consequently, they will not be getting their bonus until they come back next week, after Christmas. Maybe they are mad at me now and they will be surprised to find out what happened when they return?
It's still possible a gift is on the way, or there was a misunderstanding somewhere along the way. What if they DID mail you a check and a card and it got lost in the mail?

One year my housekeeper was sick the week of Christmas and sent her two adult daughters to clean in her place at all of her jobs that week. As they left, I gave them a card with money in it, told them that it was a Christmas gift for their mother, and asked them to give it to her. They said they would. When it was February of the next year and my housekeeper was still persistently asking me if I had had a nice Christmas, I figured something must be up. I asked if she had gotten the money I had given her as a gift. She said, "No. None of my ladies gave me anything this year." I called the other people I knew in our neighborhood who I knew used the same cleaning lady and asked if they had given the daughters money for the mother during the week she was sick. Yes, yes and yes, they had. How horrible is that?! And the mother was a little bit older woman who was in ill health. She was very hurt to hear that her daughters had kept (STOLEN) all of her Christmas bonuses and lied to her when she asked if anybody had given her anything extra for Christmas.

Anonymous said...

you should not work for this rotten cheap skates.....
work for a family that is nice to you all year and gives you a little gift to say thank you...
good luck with the interview....but dont go back and dont call them to let them know...payback is a b....
ha-ha let them get screwed now ( you got screwed for no pay for 2 weeks and no gift)

Anonymous said...

Wow 12:24! What crawled in your panties and died?

Anonymous said...

I mean 12:49

marypoppin'pills♀ said...

OP - Good luck on your (prospective) new job! I hope they treat you better.

* Now to 4:36 *
Why in the world would you lower your hourly rate just so "they can afford you"? Don't you think better of yourself? How dare your family do that. They do not appreciate you ... go somewhere else and find someone that will! I felt so bad for you when I read your post ... whether they give you a bonus for the short time your there, or not - lowering your wage was way out of line. I can't stand people that hire a Nanny just so they can 'seem' uppercrust when they really aren't.

Anonymous said...

Hylwd mom--
OP here. You can reach me at south2nd13@yahoo.com. I did end up getting a card and some cookies, but they are cutting my hours, so I do definately need a new job! If anyone else has leads, I'm open to them! Looking for 10-15 hours. I could go to 20 if there's nap time in there for me to study. :) Love creative, silly play and I'm very warm hearted.

Anonymous said...

Leaving without notice is not a good idea under most circumstances and not warranted just because you didn;t get a bonus or gift.

If you want a good reference, better do things the right way and give at the very least, a week's notice. Any employer that doesn't understand that you don't want to leave your old employer high and dry won't turn out to be a ver good employer for you, trust me.

Anonymous said...

Marypoppin --
I accepted a rate 2$ an hour lower than what I normally would cause I had really liked the family. After being there 3 months and her getting a raise, I got a 2$ an hour raise...so it all worked out. But I was happy with what I was making.

1108 again said...

I also did get a 100$ bonus, and a couple pictures of the baby. The family is awesome, and the baby is great and so much fun to be with.

marypoppin'pills☼ said...

4:36/11:08
Bottom line ... if your happy, then it doesn't matter, right? I got the feeling from your post you might've been a little hurt. But if it all works out in the end, it's all good.
I used to be a Nanny (many eons ago, lol) and I completely understand that it's difficult to find a family that you truly 'mesh' with.

1108, not 436 :-) said...

Marypoppin --

Sorry if I came across as rude...or whatever (my husband told me I did lol), was just pointing out that sometimes dollar amount is not everything. Its not easy to find a family that is a great fit, so when you do it's hard to walk away from it all because of the dollar amount. Had it of been anything lower then I would have walked away, but 2$ an hour seemed so trivial to me.
Happy Holidays All.

marypoppin'pills☼ said...

11:08
Sorry, I thought because you originally responded to my post, you were 4:36. I will assume you just picked me to make your point because of what I posted. Anyway ... you didn't come across as rude. Are you kidding? Some of the girls on here are a pretty rough bunch. If you had been rude ... I didn't notice! ☺
Anyway - point taken.
Happy Holidays to you, too!

marypoppin'pills☼ said...

Oh, and before they beat me with a stick ... let me change that remark, to 'Ladies'.
Ciao!