Tuesday

Increasingly Hostile Nanny Behavior...

Received Tuesday, November 13, 2007-Perspective & Opinion
Our nanny, who we've treated like gold, paid well and have given quite a bit of time off to has grown increasingly hostile. She comes in in a bad mood and is starting to be snotty to me. I'm warning her tomorrow if she doesn't shape up she will be dismissed with no severance. This is unacceptable and if she is this short and mean with me, I cant imagine how she is with my children (2-under 4). Has anyone else dealt with this behavior? What causes it? My husband suggests we wait it out for another 2 weeks as she is sure to return to her "trial period" behavior in anticipation of a smokin' bonus. I don't understand why nannies cannot be consistent. Anyone? Anyone?

100 comments:

Sasha said...

Is it possible that she might have either overheard something that you and your husband said about her or maybe one of your kids might have repeated??? Something like that?? Before you take her to task, maybe you could ask her if something is bothering her.........

Anonymous said...

It might have nothing to do with you. She may have unrelated personal problems, not that I am saying that this is OK, but the only way to go somewhere is to talk with her.

Anonymous said...

"I don't understand why nannies cannot be consistent"

Not all nannies are like that, for one. Humans in general are not consistent. Maybe she came in in a bad mood (Yes, nannies can be in bad moods as much as you) and heard you say something about "nannies" and took it personally.

Anonymous said...

From your pointless tirade about "why can't nannies be consistent" you are either a fraud or deserve whatever you get.

212 said...

You have a problem here. I do agree that people are largely consistent. I am a professional female with three children. There are days I feel like attacking my boss, kicking a coworker or locking myself in a closet and crying, however none of these behaviors is acceptable. When my team fails to deliver on a task, I get my ass handed to me and the next time I have to deal with the person I report to; I don't get to sulk, smirk or avoid contact. I am a professional.

The fact that your nanny is behaving like this in front of you is very frightening. I suspect your child gets dealt even a lower blow.

If you are a working professional woman, you have every right to demand that your nanny behave like a working professional. If you are an aunt mommy who keeps a nanny around for decor & friendship, I've no sympathy for you and can certainly understand why any nanny would have hostility as she spent more and more time in the company of such a worthless human being.

That's all.

j said...

a fraud? i dont get it.

Anonymous said...

How long has she been your nanny and how long has this behavior been going on? If she's been with you a long time and is now exhibiting this behavior for the first time, you should reach out to her with kindness. If she has only been with you a month or two, she could finally be revealing her real personality and shedding her interviewee personality--WATCH YOUR KIDS. Your husband is wrong--if she is someone who will only keep a cheerful attitude if you dangle a bonus in front of her, she is not someone who you should have looking after your kids.

Rhiannon said...

It would be good to talk to her. Also, if you are worried about your kids, you need to stop at home during the day. this will let you see what happens when you aren't there. I am the pop-in queen.
Be a good boss, calmly ask her is something is wrong and have a conversation with her.

Anonymous said...

Ooh Me! Me! Somehow, I get the feeling this nanny is tired of putting up with your crap. You don't seem friendly or understanding, saying you're going to demand that she shape up, without even approaching her and asking her what is wrong. If you truly have been "treating her like gold" there must be something pretty serious going on in her life. What kind of work are you having her do? Are you asking her to clean up the dog poo every afternoon? What kind of hours does she work? People can get pretty darn cranky when they're not getting enough sleep. Perhaps you just have a cranky nanny, but I would venture to guess there's something more going on.

mom said...

Well, it's your barely able to communicate aged kids who are spending their days with her, so you really can't afford to make a mistake here. If she is making you feel bad, imagine how they feel...especially since she probably behaves her best in front of you.
I know people have personal problems and ups and downs, but most are not allowed to bring those problems to work...and when working with children it is especially critical that they DO NOT.
But ask her. If she has had a tragedy or a death in the family, it might be understandable that she is down for a bit and will return to normal soon. Otherwise she has little excuse for that behavior at her JOB.
BUT, If you seriously think she is manipulative enough to behave nicely (which would probably be only in front of you anyway, and would then presumably end once she gets her pay off) then she has serious character issues and you should not be leaving her with your children at all.

Anonymous said...

I'm a nanny..and I'm not going to attack the op or the nanny..I will just say to have a little talk with her to see if she is open about some issue she might be having or perhaps something bothering her about her position with your family. I hate to compare nannies with those in a professional office position or something like that..because that's all business..being a nanny is on more of a personal level than a business level. Yes, naturally we need an income like everyone else.. but...when it comes to being a nanny most situations that arise will have some kind of emotions to go along with it. Unless people want robots taking care of their kids who show no emotion.

Just talk to her before "warning" her..and for your sake I hope you hired someone worthy enough to take care of your most prized posessions

Anonymous said...

Let me tell you how it went for us. We hired a nanny, she practically sang and danced with delight during her first week. We thought we were so lucky. The second week, she sang a little. The third week, she sang once and decided she couldn't start working until she had breakfast. The fourth week she told me what she would like for me to have in the house for breakfast. The fifth week, she asked if I could just make her breakfast. The second day of the fifth week, I said I couldn't and I would appreciate if she could take "x" and get "x" ready for "x" and she looked at me, smiled and didn't speak to me for three days.

To paraphrase my nanny,
"that's how they do"

Anonymous said...

if your nanny is not live in..she should be eating breakfast at home. If she is live-in then she should get up early enough to make her own breakfast before her day officially starts. Obviously..this is not a good nanny and she should be let go.

Anonymous said...

You must have small breasts and small hips because curvy women with small waists and shapely hips ala Sophia Loren were just proven more intelligent.

Hourglass=equals smarter kids and smarter parents.

You seem to have neither.

Anonymous said...

I think you should ask your nanny what is bothering her because she seems tense and irritable. She may not realize she is being that way. If you truly treat her like gold, you would take the time to do this.

Anonymous said...

Mom,
If you have ever spent a good amount of time in a daycare or around childcare providers, you will see that they oftentimes are more emotional. This is a good thing. Of course they should not bring so much baggage that it interferes with their job, but human service people like childcare workers on the whole are emotional: they laugh easier, cry easier, and love easier. It is a good thing you are a stay at home mom because I know that if put in that situation, you would expect your childcare provider to be perfect. And here's a thought for you: nobody is perfect. Even you.
Part of being a good employer is keeping your employees happy, if they are good employees that is. If OP's nanny is a good nanny, she should be trying to make things better for her. If she is not a good nanny, she should let her go. It is as simple as that.

happynanny said...

Hi, I'm not siding with either the op or the nanny as I think there are some details that I would need to hear first. But as a nanny I would like to relate something that happened to me in my job.

Now the family I work for treat me well and I am VERY happy with my job, **note i am a live-in** but there was ONE week where I KNOW I wasn't up to par and was coming off "crabby" and that was the week that my boss said something to me which made me feel VERY unwelcome as though she wished she could have a live-in without having to share her house with anybody. It was more complicated than that, but it just made me feel VERY unappreciated and like she wanted the best of both worlds (a live-in nanny AND not to actually have to have someone living in her house). Anyway, for the next week or so I just felt very uncomfortable around her. I'm don't think she even knew I was uncomfortable (i'd been with the family quite a few months), I would assume she thought I just had pms or something. BUT my point is that this situation could be something similar (especially if the nanny has been with you awhile).

I'm not sure if that all came across clearly. But my general point is that although it could just be a bad nanny showing her true colors - it could also be a great nanny who's just feeling uncomfortable for whatever reason (and yes I agree as other people said it could be family/friend related also).

My advice would be to just talk to her and see.

Anonymous said...

" I don't understand why nannies cannot be consistent. "
So you have had this experience with previous nannies?
I get a sense that you have poor communication with this nanny, or you would have asked her what was upsetting her. The problem may be her, it may be you, but it doesn't sound like a good situation for your young children. You say she is hostile and snotty to you, so I don't think her negative attitude is the result of personal problems, it sounds like something about the job is upsetting her, and she isn't able to talk to you about it. Confronting and threatening her is not going to turn her into a happy nanny. I think it would be better for everyone involved, parents, nanny, and children if you let this nanny go, with severance, and found someone you click with.

Anonymous said...

I would tape or video record her as you're probably right about her being this way with your kids. There is no excuse to act this way with your boss. If she doesn't like something about her job she should discuss it like an adult.

mom said...

7:44
So happens I have spent a lot of time with kids, watching kids with nannies, observing kids in daycare, observing kids with parents. You name it.

Emotions are a good thing. But just because you may be having a bad feeling doesn't mean you ought to display it to the child you are being paid to care for. Parents learn to control themselves when necessary to protect the emotional health of their children. Childcare providers need to do the same. It is very true that when dealing with children, the children NEED to come first, no matter how we may be feeling at the moment.

Caroline said...

I was a nanny up until recently. My employers paid me well, gave me time off when neccessary but more importantly - they COMMUNICATED with me.

Do you spend much time with the nanny? Perhaps she feels you are overbearing and not allowing her to do her job - if you hired a professional (in which case you probably have a contract which may or may not stipulate the conditions under which she may be summarily dismissed without severance) then you should trust her to do her job. This is just one possible explanation of her behavior toward you but there are so many others - some more acceptable than others. And animosity toward the mother (you don't say that she's 'hostile' to your husband just that you should give her time) does not neccessarily mean that she doesn't treat your children well - a 4 year old who thinks their mother will listen is capable of telling you if 'nanny' is mean. If you are really worried about how your cjhildren are being treated then show up unannounced or get someone you trust to watch her in a public setting.

None of the posters on this blog can give you advice without a very detailed description of the situation. YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR NANNY NOT WITH US!

Anonymous said...

I have a family that 'treats me like gold.'

They pay me well, give me a nice year end bonus and always pay me for vacation and sick time.

That said I have started thinking about looking for another family.

Why?

Because when I first started, nearly two years ago, the mom paid me in cash per her suggestion. One week she asked if a check was ok as she didn't get to the bank, I said sure and that was the last time I saw cash.

Then pay was late a few times.

At one time she would call if she was coming home 15 minutes late now she is often and hour late or more with no call.

In the past it was "Can you please drive so and so to tap lessons?" Now it's "So and so needs to go to to gymnastics and on the way there pick up my dry-cleaning."

I realize my mistake. I said yes and OK to everything she asked and now she is takign advantage. Lesson learned. The next family I work for will hear No once in a while.

John said...

Message to mom:

I think you are hot! Staying home and taking care of kids is not only cool, but a good deal of work.

In my imagination you are blond, mid-forties, slender and sexy. Am I correct?

cutefemmegirl said...

I imagine that this Nanny would want to be on her best behavior in front of her Boss ... for her not to be, something must really be wrong, or else she could risk just getting fired by you. Open the lines of communication with her to see what's going on, and hopefully she'll have a good reason for being so crabby. If not, then I would be far more concerned about my kids welfare in her company.

Anonymous said...

John ... why don't you go troll e-harmony for a date instead?

Kate in CO said...

OMGosh!!! She's short and mean with you.......and your still letting her watch your children????????? YOU ARE A MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

8:33
I imagine you are in your 50s, bald, fat, and smoke 2 pks. of cigarettes a day. Am I correct?

Meme said...

I don't know you or your nanny. Could be you have varying opinions on what being treated like gold entails.

That said, with all due respect, your husband may not be the brightest crayon in the box.

These are your children we are talking about here. Your CHILDREN...not your house, not your garden, but your precious offspring. You should not have someone caring for them who needs the possibility of a fat holiday bonus to treat them properly and the prospect of such should not be acceptable to their father!

Anonymous said...

LOL LOL LOL

Anonymous said...

meme:
Hurrah! 100% correct!

mom said...

Hey 8:47
I prefer he NOT go troll e-harmony, as I suspect this is my husband trying to surprise me. He asked me a little while ago if I have been writing on "Nanny cam" recently.
Won't he be surprised if he looks back on here and sees the responses he got.

Anonymous said...

OP, I really agree with "mom"'s first post (at 5:32) and with Kate in CO's recent one at 8:49.

It is totally unacceptable that she comes into your home in a bad mood and is short with you. If this is how she is with you, she is definitely WAY worse with your kids when you are not around.

You should not even need to talk to a person and take them to task for acting like this. This is never okay for the kids. You should DEFINITELY give her a serious warning ASAP. If she does not immediately shape up, get rid of her right away. You as a mother should not allow your children to be treated poorly.

Good luck! Please let us know what happens!

Meme said...

Mom...for your sake I hope it is your husband. Otherwise it is kind of creepy! LOL!

mom said...

Meme,
It was him. I just asked. he was quite proud of himself...until I showed him what he got back.
I said, "Women can be mean." He shook his head and said, "No kidding!"

Anonymous said...

Awww ... sorry John! Mom is lucky to have you! How romantic.
(Now go to bed!) ;)

ess said...

I have been working for one family for over a year, (live out, part time position) and there was one period of about three weeks in which I know my demeanor was not what it usually is. While I wasn't rude or anything, my job performance suffered enough to be noticeable. The change in my behavior was due to a miscarriage, which I was devastated by.

I hadn't been working for the family for very long, and didn't want to unload that kind of baggage on them, especially since it had to do with such a personal situation. But rather than confront your employee in an reproachful way, it might be better just to let her know that you've noticed a change in her behavior and would like to know if anything is wrong.

Personal problems don't give someone license to act however she wants, but it would be best to approach the situation a bit cautiously.

Anonymous said...

It is highly possible that this 'golden' family is doing something the nanny hates. Many nannies become disgruntled, as parents demand more an more, as if nannies are machines.
I agree with the poster who says she is going to tell her new employers 'no' once in a while.
Yes nannies, you have a choice- you don't have to agree with everything your bosses say. I bet they don't always agree with theirs.


And incidentally...a nanny's behavior toward a parent/s does NOT translate into the same treatment for the children.
I worked for my last employer while distinctly disliking her for at least 6 months...and I know how to turn on and the emotions. disliked her...loved the kids and showed it every chance I got.

I'm in this business because I love children...it's just unfortunate that parents are human with human tendencies of selfishness, rudeness, disrespect, and the list could go on. She begged me to stay whilst telling me that she knew she took me for granted- go figure.

I moved on,but do I now have 'golden' employers? the jury is still out on that...
I know there are great ones out there. This OP does not sound like one

Anonymous said...

I would like to ask the parents who said to fire her, and they are worried and concern for the kids and the way she might be treating them. Does this mean that as parents they treat thier own kids depending on the mood or day they are having? If this lady have been treating her nanny like gold and not as a hire help she should be able to talk to her nanny about her behaviour or the problem she is having which is affecting her and her work perfomance.

meme said...

Mom...how cute your husband would do that. What a sweety.

anonymous1 said...

I think your nanny wants a raise. She feels underpaid. That's my opinion as to what her problem is. She probably spoke to another nanny and found out she was making way less.

Sue Doe-Nim said...

"I don't understand why nannies cannot be consistent."

Because they're human.

And so are your children. How dare you leave your children with an angry stranger.

And your husband, he's an idiot. The two of you should be neutered.

Anonymous said...

2:50...well said.

If your nanny is upset about something, that does not automatically translate in to being awful towards your children. When my husband pisses me off do you think I instantly start being mean and rude to my stepson. Ummm No. I love him just the same. If you have had a good nanny up until recently, common sense tells you to just talk to her like a decent human being.

Anonymous said...

What a wasteful slug of a parent you are!

You will leave your precious children with such a hateful person. Don't you think that attitude rubs off on the kids? Don't you fear that this nanny might strike out at your kids?

What a low class passive aggressive sissy way to respond... by going on a dipsy blog asking anonymous people what to do!

DON'T YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN????

Anonymous said...

Our most recent nanny was like this. She grew hostile and it seemed like out of no where. First we thought it might be b/c she was newlywed and her husband may have been a bad influence, or that she had some bad days, but it became clear that she was starting to not respect our family's parenting. Any nanny who is angry with or has a problem with the parents, should NOT be with the children. We let her go and then the real personality came out. It confirmed that she had some major emotional issues and had begun working against our family's parenting for quite some time. We are SO GLAD to be rid of her.

If you've got ANY doubts, let her go. Your children are worth so much more. Go with your heart and your instincts.

Anonymous said...

I bet Mom is really "John"; she just wants attention, dont play into her little games.

Anonymous said...

7:02
Why don't you go dunk your head in a toilet?

Anonymous said...

7:02 is jealous. So sad.

Anonymous said...

5:15
You are probably judging this based on what you would do with a child if you were angry.

Not everyone is like you- some of us know how to separate emotions its called compartmentalizing!!!
Again, I have done this. I worked for a real 'piece of work' and not one day- not even for a second did I take anything out on the chilren. Only unstable people do that or at least a very unprofessional person.

I don't have to like you to work for you.
Don't you just looovvve your boss.
And incidentally, a nanny does not just 'get hostile'- trust me- its something you did- inadvertently or not.

It's amazing how you imperfect parents want everyone to be perfect.
Nannies have problems with parents just as much as parents have problems with nannies and discuss them at the office, with friends, family, the dog...you get the picture.

What is this nannying? an extension of slavery??? get a grip!

And this may come as a shock to you, but your parenting skills probably leaves much to be desired- news flash - the fact that you have children does not make you an expert in their care. Get over yourself...your children are probably not properly trained and yell and scream at you- God forbid a nanny knowing better than you.

Give up the ego already missy! Ugh

Anonymous said...

Just rereading the original post, and I am just shaking my head

"has anyone dealt with this behavior?what causes it?

I don't know genious- what makes you become hostile towards another person? Don't tell me you're perfect, 'cause we all know that isn't possible in this life.
Snob!

Why can't YOU be consistent- when you can answer that question, you would have answered your own ridiculous question.
Go troll somewhere else.

Incidentally, I'm curious to know what you consdier the 'golden treatment' this should be interesting.

'Dismissed with no severance' ooh we are all scared- how about she dismisses you! now that would be funny- since you think she is hankering around for bonusses and severance.

You have no idea how much an idiot you sound like.Any support you get here will undoubtably come from the other moronic people like yourself

Anonymous said...

O.P.
Your nanny is a HUMAN BEING. We all get pissy every now and again; how can it be that you haven't even tried to talk to her and find out what's going on?!? I'm a nanny who works for 2 "golden" families, one for 5 years, the other for 14 months. I love both moms and dads and all 9 kids, and we regularly talk about what's going on in our lives. I've never ONCE been treated like "help" by EITHER family, and that (amongst many other reasons) is why I'm still with both of them. I communicate with both mothers on a regular basis; we let each other know if we're having crappy days and we work together to pick up each other's slack when needed. I'm sure even YOU have been in a bad mood before. TALK TO HER. And honestly, why would you "employ" someone you can't communicate with? I don't consider myself an employee of either family, I'm part of each family. Maybe you need to be more welcoming.

Alicia said...

Anyone who thinks they treat someone like gold usually ends up being the jerk of the bunch who is blind to how they really behave and act. She's probably sick of treating YOU like gold, and has had enough of your bologna.

Anonymous said...

1:59

Actually, being a parent does make you an expert in your own children's care. I can tell from your post that you do not have children. A nanny's job is not to take children and pretend they are their own and parent them any way they see fit. Their job is to be an extension of the parent while the parent is away and provide consistent care whether they agree with everything about it or not (as long as the instructions are not negligent or life threatening). If you don't like the parents, you cannot possibly give the children the care they need for being in their own family -- all you can give is what you think you would give your children. And further, people who don't have children have no clue. NO CLUE what a child really needs. You think you know how to love, but any parent will tell you that they never loved as much as when they had their child.

In my opinion, many nannies who care for other people's children for a living tend to have emotional issues. You make no money, and live in someone else's life for some reason. Maybe so you can judge and make yourself feel like you're "better" than the family... so you critique their parenting, loyalty, and homelife without having a single shred of parenting experience yourself. But you always know best - right?

O.P.

Regarding consistency, unfortunately most nannies who are over the age of 21 or 22 who are not going to college and who have no other dream then to be a parent usually have emotional issues, a lack of responsibility, and major consistency issues--not only in their work, but about what they want to do for a living, and about life in general. Their interests change as often as their shoes. Many of these people become nannies to "live their dream" or get "practice" for their life. Also, many nannies tend to have emotional issues, self worth problems, inept relationships and many others.

The most consistent nannies I have found to have already been parents. They come with a mother's love (mind you not all parents are good parents...). I'd rather have a 15 year old girl who is willing to take instruction sit with my children than a 20-something nanny who is "grown up enough" to be snotty and prideful about "their experience with kids" ESPECIALLY when they don't have any. A high school student is more willing to parent your way. Nannies are to parent the parent's way, not think they know better...that's what they are being paid for.

Some nannies, the ones who study childcare in college and desire to be educators will usually know more than the parents (especially first time parents). In my opinion, this is great and we, as parents, should encourage these women to teach us as they teach our children.

Show me a mom who's had children and been through the ups and downs....and still wants to care for other people's children...she'll be a good nanny.

Not the ones that are "part time parents" and full time nannies. They can put the kids down and go home, or go party it up without consequence, they don't have to be responsible and pay for their children and protect them and care for their future. No, these girls just dream all day, and have no real responsibility.--Part time parents--

Anonymous said...

Let us all not forget that the nanny is the one being hostile or "snotty". Is this compartmentalizing? Is this mature behavior from a mature person who is being treated like gold? Or is this a person who is upset by something their employer did or said or didn't do and who doesn't have the maturity to speak up and resolve it. Instead...it festers and then shows outwardly as aggression. It's all well and good to think the OP is at fault, but they BOTH have a responsibility to communicate. It is completely appropriate for the OP to seek advice from other parents before talking with her. The nanny in this situation is choosing not to talk, but to hide behind high school like expression of her dislike for the situation.

Anonymous said...

Um, um, um,
you seem to be waxing over the whole professional nanny situation. There is an entire class of professional nannies. Being a nanny is a career choice. They belong to nanny organizations and write books (like Michele LaRowe) on how to raise children.
You obviously have a pre existing prejudiced against young women who are unimpeded by their children. Maybe it reminds you of how trapped you feel every day.

As for nannies who are paid to parent the way they are told, are you smoking crack? You can't hire a nanny who is going to follow your orders like a puppet. If you have half a brain, you would know you need a nanny to think for herself and to be independantly intelligent and educated about all issues regarding children. Because try as you might to tell her everything, things will come up. The best nanny relationships- those that benefit the nanny, the parent and most importantly the child- is built on mutual respect.

So if you are just some inept woman who gets an ego boost by shouting at the nanny- what are you proving? Other than that you are an ass?

Seriously, go away and die.
Drop dead and die.
I said DIE woman.

mom said...

10:05
I was reading your post...trying to be objective...but when I saw your very immature, hateful ending you lost all credibility with me...and probably with most others as well.
There's just no need for that here...especially if you want to be taken seriously.

:P said...

Perception. I am a nanny, I know the family I work for adores me. I was sooooo sick today, my froggy voice sounded irritated IMO, I had a sour puss of a face and couldn't wait to get home. Guess what else- I KNOW they understand. Some of us just got it like that! It's not magic, it's communication- try it some time.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for proving my point :)

Cutefemmegirl said...

10:05
I also felt you had a very thought-provoking post. What's up with the ending remarks? I admit my mouth fell open as I didn't expect such venom. It sounds as if you had an experience with an Employer that didn't respect you, and you're still angry about it.

Anonymous said...

In my opinion, it's parents who are largely inconsistant! Sugary and sweet one week, crabby and distant the next! They think just because they employ you, you should understand just how "stressful" their life is and you should deal with their mood swings. Sometimes I'd just like to scream at my boss "You don't cook, you don't clean! You work 9 hours a day, then put the kids to bed an hour after you get home! Is it really that difficult? Woe is me!!"

Anonymous said...

10:05 I also agree that no matter how much parents try the nanny will end up making her own decisions -
a good nanny is more than a well-trained professional, no matter what you can read on this forum, but the aggressiveness was totally uncalled for.

WeNeedANannyUnion said...

4:37-So true!

Anonymous said...

9:22
I think your kids show your Nanny more affection. Don't be hateful. Appreciate her for the obviously GREAT job she's doing...

Anonymous said...

732pm, or um, shall we say Sophia: Please stop smoking your crack pipe. It is highly addictive and can cause you to go mental. Thank you.

Signed, An hourglassed figured mother who thinks your full of s*@!

Anonymous said...

Jane Doe, I feel like 10:05's comment went too far. Can't you take it down? Hostility like that goes beyond the norm!

Meme said...

I can't say anything to 10:05 that hasn't already been said. You had me until the ending remarks. Then I was just concerned about your state of mental health.

ro said...

What an odd person 10:05 is. Cognicent & then- not! And please stop encouraging censorship!

We're tougher than that. It isn't that offensive. It reads like a bad cartoon.

Anonymous said...

I agree, Ro. 10:05's 'good' far outweighs the 'bad'. I think we as adults can handle a little raw grit.

Meme said...

Exactly Ro. If we asked Jane to delete all the commenters who got a little nutty, she'd be on here on day! If you can't handle it 12:47, then this probably isn't the blog for you.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever considered raising your own children, instead of letting someone else do it?

cutefemmegirl said...

10:10
Who made you blog monitor?

Anonymous said...

Excuse the hell out of me 9:22. Yu had the nerve to respond to my post.

I repeat and thank 10:05 for backing me up.

Yu don't presume to tell me what i should know miss 9:22. i am the professional here, and having a child does NOT make yu an expert in their care.
I'm not sure where yu got your warped view of the responsibilities of a professional nanny , but it certainly is not robotic in nature, and i would never be in a job where i simply 'do as I'm told' are yu kidding me???

For parents with those kinds of issues its better yu do the 24/7 with your kids and if yu cant... then yu accept that a nanny will do her job...got it miss!!!!!!!!

By the way, idiot.
Everyone knows a nanny's love and the parent's love are 2 different things. We may love your children but not as much as yu- dummy! its a job!!! but we still care and nurture and take care of---who the hell wants to replace the parents??????? not me heck no.
When the day is done i do other things in my spare time besides dreaming about my employer's kids!
you're righ t about one thing. I do not have children. I would hardly be in this profession if i did (kudos to others that do).

If I had children which I don't want because I would want a nanny if I did- not be a nanny...because it is a constant 24/7 situation, and I have several neices and nephews, but everybody goes home eventually.

If I were to hire a nanny and have to tell her everything I would seriously not respect this nanny nor trust her in my absence.

Sorry, you do not get to dictate what this profession does..if you don't like it then take care of yu own children yu damn self.
Leave your guilty feeling at the door if yu use a nanny.

And by the way, like most women, I can have childre...you don't have somehting that I could never have!
Idiot

cali mom said...

Yikes, 12:58. Tjhe fact that you are apparently being entrusted with someone's children is frightening. BTW, it's spelled with 3 letters, not 2.

Yes, YU.

Anonymous said...

Yikes 12:58 - The idea that you are considering yourself "professional" and "qualified" to care for children is beyond reason and without a doubt a shame to us real, professional, loving nannys who care and nurture as if they were our own. You must nanny down in the hood somewhere.

Spite, pride and anger won't help children.

Anonymous said...

12:58

We DO get to say what our house rules are and what our children's rules are. We do get to say where our children go and who they go with. If you're taking kids around town and the parents don't know where they are, then your "decision making" is wrong.

Nobody expects a nanny to be a robot. That is absurd. But, we can certainly expect a nanny to enforce similar discipline, and house rules as the parents, otherwise, there would be mass confusion on the children's part....

9:22

Anonymous said...

12:28
You are not helping the image of professional nannies with rants like that.
A Nanny

cutefemmegirl said...

12:58
Shocking post. Unbelievable that YOU are a Nanny entrusted with someones children. YOUr post reveals alot of venom ... and I wonder why YOU are so angry? I guess we should be grateful that YOU don't want to have kids.

Anonymous said...

aww shut up the lot of you!

college educated and a very loving nanny. If you- and I do know how to spell cali mom. I could wrap circles around your english- try to focus. The response was in response to what 9:22 said.

I actually do have an opinion and not afraid to express it.
The lot of you stop pretending that you never get annoyed..

I cannot begin to tell you about my work. My employer is very lucky actually- aah, why waste the breath!

Who cares what yu all think?

If you want to have so much to say about the rearing of your children- do it yourselves! If not, respect the people who are willing to work in this profession - the most important profession.

4:41, what hood were you referring to? You seem to know a bit about that - please don't enlighten.
Incidentally, I love and nurture the children in my care- are you kidding me. Since when is it not on for a nanny to be annoyed. Is it subservience you are seeking to hear here?

I was responding the the poster who responded to me- try reading forst and stop passing judgment; this goes for the femme girl too- give it a rest already. I'm not shaking in my boots.

And 4:22, I actually do agree with your last statement, but again I was responding in kind to what the poster said to my post.
Now please the lot of you let it go- this is quite peurile! oy

cutefemmegirl said...

4:57
There is no 4:22, did you mean 4:52?
Calm down, it's o.k., no one is trying to make you 'shake in your boots'.

12:58/4:57 said...

By the way Cali mom. Most people who are internet users use shortened versions of some very common words. You- yu, being one such replacemnt.

Unfortunately for you, there is nowhere in English (internet or otherwise) where the popular word 'the' is spelt with a 'j'.
Sure yu can say it's a 'slip of the finger', which is exactly why you should NOT criticize anyone here.
Some people here like myself purposefully misspell which in no way affects the grammr of the sentence.

I could easily say you can't spell, but fortunately I understand that when typing responses several things can happen- some purposefully- like mine, and some by mistake-like yours.

If you knew me you would hardly want to sit on a high horse; trust me when I say that after posting sometimes I cringe at sentence constructions at times that I make- not to mention others, but I don't let it worry me too much because there are things far more important than trying to impress the lot of you here...not to mention...YOU DON'T KNOW ME!

So if you're sitting at home with your dictionary and english for dummies (I'm sure there's one - there should be) trying to impress us with your 'syntax and prose' then you obviously have much more time on your hands than we feared.
Quit critizing people and focus on your kids. I hope you don't teach them to criticize others. I certainly don't teach my charges that.

lovingly poster 12:58 and 4:57

cali mom said...

Ah, so you're too lazy to type the letter "o". But despite that, you give yourself glowing references as a nanny.

I guess "grammr" is also a, um, common internet abbreviation. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Uh huh.

Meme said...

I have my own blog as well as a home page on a social networking site (not myspeace), and comment in several other blogs. I even have a list of Internet abbreviations in a folder for those who like to put up posts in other groups asking what various things mean...and I have never heard, nor can I find reference to "yu" being an abbreviation for "you." People who can't just admit they made a typo, make themselves look more ignorant.

Meme said...

Opps...should say MySpace. Sorry for the typo and did NOT do that on purpose! LOL

chatboard teminology said...

meme,
yes there is a partial list here to:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1086/543927624_f630cf782e_o.jpg
Here's hoping everyone had an awesome weekend.
-Heidi

Jolie said...

STFU is my fav! Idk wtf rflmao

Anonymous said...

You really need to talk to her.

Anonymous said...

Yikes, 12:58! I think you need to lay of the crack pipe too! Oh, and learn how to spell.

mom said...

Here's a real shocker, folks. It all makes sense now. The maniacal rants at (in this order) 1:59am, 10:05pm (which is the one that ends with "Seriously, go away and die. Drop dead and die. I said DIE woman."), 12:58pm, 4:57am and 4:21pm are all the work of our resident lunatic, em/peace. (Maybe others as well, but I was willing only to spend enough time looking at this to skim for the really obvious ones.)

The question now is whether she is the outcast 2xAs, or a whole new breed of lunatic.

Either way...yikes!

SAHM said...

Whoever this poster is, it scares me that she has contact with children.

mom said...

PS What is actually funny about this is that I wouldn't have even found her here or made the connection because I hadn't been checking this thread. But then I saw the 12:10 comment about the crack pipe come up on the recent posts and thought, "Hmmmm...where the crack pipe gets mentioned, it seems more often than not to lead back to a post from em/peace. It is not a good thing, peace, that this is the thing that first comes to so many minds when they read your posts.

And I have to say that I am quite taken aback as I read the many hateful posts you have made on this thread, and then recall that you have spent your past two days accusing others of being bad Christians on the other thread. (I mean really, how do you say "Seriously, go away and die.
Drop dead and die. I said DIE woman" one day, and then profess to be a religious role model the next?
I am truly curious as to how you justify this in your own mind.

I'm 10:05 said...

I am 10:05 and have never before used a moniker. I've only posted 2 or 3 other times. I am not who you think I am. I work as a nanny.

Anonymous said...

Another common denominator in those ranting post by em/peace is using the word "spelt". No one else on this site has used that word that I've ever noticed. (Not that it's being used incorrectly, em/peace, it's just not a popular word). She also uses the expression: "the lot of you", when referring to others, which if I'm not mistaken, the British use, which is what she said she was.
Also, in caps, the popular: YOU DON'T KNOW ME, or: YOU DON'T SCARE ME!
So at least with that, we can all recognize these earlier posts and who their author was.
And yes ... em/peace/anonymous needs medication ... and now!

Anonymous said...

10:05/8:07
You've only posted 2-3 other times? How convenient for you to be on here at this moment picking up these posts.
Yeah, right.

not 10:05 said...

Don't quit yer dayjob. You're no sleuth! That's fo sho.

And back to the matter at hand:
W H O C A R E S

Aren't we all here trying to save nannies from abusive madmen and madwoman who trample them and stomp on their civil liberties, who incarcerate their bodies and smother their souls all in the names of modern day hemi demi semi slavery?

Anonymous said...

hey em,
don't worry, I don't have a day job. I'm a SAHM. You on the other hand, must have the day off ... cuz your a nanny, right?

Anonymous said...

isn't it killing you that you want to respond to all these ugly posts that were written about you? C'mon, I know you can't just give it a rest. Go for it, girl!

Anonymous said...

ok, I get it. You want to wait a little while before you come back - so you can pretend you weren't here ... being somebody else.

t.r. said...

multiple anonymous posts this morning-
aren't you afraid you look like crazy person. who are you talking to? do you hear voices too? all of this is a distraction from the blog's purpose. who cares who posted what? and the last person to complain about who posted what should be ANONYMOUS.

mom said...

8:09am,
I hadn't realized about her claiming to be British.

It's quite a coincidence that
2xAs, also a nanny with mental problems who liked to write hateful multi-paragraph rants, one after the other, using different monikers, where she insisted repeatedly that she didn't care what any of us think, made a big deal about being British too.

And tr, we care because she goes so far over the edge that it's no longer amusing or productive and eventually causes such a distraction from the threads she visits that they all end up being all about whatever fight she has instigated and won't let go. (Also a charachetristic of 2xAs.)
Do you remember the last time she infected the blog?

mom said...

8:07/10:05
Hmmm...I was just laughing with my husband about resident crazy and he wanted to hear one of the posts. So I read him 10:05.

I had to laugh even harder when I saw that you dropped the name of yet another book in that post. It was so important for 2xAs to make sure we knew that she was well read that she was constantly recommending that we read this or that book.

So busted.

(Not to mention that I now recognize your writing style.)

Oh, and 2xAs also seemed to ALWAYS be on, lurking in the background, ready to pounce instantly on any post that was directed at her, often denying that she had written the most heinous of the anonymous ones. How convenient that you, who is hardly ever on and almost never posts, happened to be here just now!

Is this why we keep seeing you post in all caps "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO AWAY?" I had been bewildered about that, since nobody had told you to go away...until I realize that we did make you go away...as
2xAs.

Anonymous said...

mom
omg, how poetic, huh?

"Is this why we keep seeing you post in all caps "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO AWAY?" I had been bewildered about that, since nobody had told you to go away...until I realize that we did make you go away...as
2xAs"

It's looking as if her "other" personalities left, also. lol

I guess em/peace/2xAs/anonymous, will show up under another pseudonym in due time.