Tuesday

B&N on 7th in Park Slope, NY

Received Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Dear Parents who send your nannies and children to Barnes & Noble,
I'm all for taking children to the bookstore. After all, they do have children's activities and story time. What I do not understand is why the same nannies seem to go this location on a regular basis to do nothing more than sit and read magazines why the children run wild like hellcats? Today I was there and could not even get a seat in the cafe with my sister because three large and loud overbearing nannies had shoved three tables together. They were carrying on like circus ringmasters eating out of prepacked Tupperware and tattered paperbacks. Not a solitary item was purchased at the cafe. They did not have a single B&N shopping bag with them. They sat paying minimal attention to their bored and dead eyed children whooping and hollering as they talked about this weekend and that and all of the time off they had coming up. Do you know that they were there when I arrived and quite comfortable, so I don't know how long they had been there; but almost 2 hours later-security approached them and asked them to leave? In the meantime, I had went through the children's section with my daughter, read her about five stories. She picked out two books to buy and helped me pick out some books for my trip and some 2008 calendars for the house. These women don't behave like professionals and your children are under stimulated. My recommendation, please fire these awful nannies and invest your money in a daycare. My child is in daycare four days a week and the daycare owners plan activities in advance and none of the activities consist of watching nannies sit around eating. I finally had to say something because I have seen sights like this plenty over the past 2 years. But if you choose to keep these nannies in your employment, I would schedule activities for them. Specific activities. And hint, hint- you may need to allot some funds for the child and the nanny.

76 comments:

unreal said...

Yep-I go to this B&N all the time and it drives me crazy to see all the nannies hanging out there all the time and never dropping a dime in the place! maybe a description of these three would be appropriate?

Anonymous said...

Every now and then I take my charge to B&N where we live for story time. We usually will have a drink and cookie in the cafe area as well :) More times than not we buy a book. She is in my view and no more than a few feet in front of me at ALL times.I would guesss most of the people in there are annoyed at us judging by the dirty looks we get- as she's 5 and talks loud, skips rther than walks and talks non-stop with her curious questions. She is VERY well-behaved, and I really don't give a damn if people are bothered byour very presence- we deserve to be there like anyone else- if you want quiet go home or to the library- B&N is a STORE, a public one. :P

Anonymous said...

right on sister!

Anonymous said...

These nannies sound awful, but daycare isn't the only option. How about hiring a professional nanny? She will plan all sorts of activities.

mom said...

Sadly, the people who really are most in need, and deserving, of a truly great nanny are the ones who can't afford one.

Those that can afford the best in childcare are usually the ones who don't actually have to work.

(And no, I don't mean every single time, so don't start sending in a bunch of "what if" scenarios. Usually.)

Meme said...

10:29, I dont think the OP is referring to decent nannies, like yourself (I presume).

The post is full of references to children running wild, eating out of tupperware and three women taking up three tables pushed together not leaving a seat for paying customers.

I dont think there was anything said that you should have taken offense to. I am sure if all nannies conducted themselves the way you seem to this would not be an issue.

Alex said...

although I agree with you 11:15 a lot of people who can afford a professional nanny or either think they have one or frankly don't care who watches their children. I agree with you that the people who can afford the best in childcare normally do not work but these nannies could be their nannies sitting in barnes and noble not watching their charges. These nannies may have the best salaries and benefits but still act like that. I feel horrible for the children and also the parents who think they have a good nanny when in reality they do not. I think more parents need to check up on their nannies whether they work or not, or have someone else check up on their nannies.

Anonymous said...

A five year old child who skips instead of walking sounds sweet and precocious and obviously the project of lots of love and attention. This post is refering to the crappy behavior and lack of regard the nannies have for the establishment and other patrons. Also, your children cannot hang around people who influence negatively with regard to manners and behavior without picking up on some of their habbits.

Wise up.

From the top said...

One of the three nannies had short, very coarse and dried out hair with an orange tint to it and she was wearing a thermol top- the kind that guys who work outside or skiers might wear under their clothes. One of the little girls who was in a stroller had blonde hair in two ponytails that stuck out to the side and were fastened with old school balls. I don't know which of the other nannies she belonged to. The nanny with the bad hair was thin and younger than the others. The other two nannies were fat and in the 30-45 range. They had 4 children to the 3 of them but I am not sure who had which child. The outing was most definitely not about the children.
It's late-I'm off to bed but I hope I clarified that. If your nanny goes to B&N, by all means the parents and good nannies and loyal customers of B&N would appreciate you popping in on your nanny. Just tonight, on Law & Order, the episode revolved around a children's rapist who targeted children left alone in the children's section of the bookstore.

mom said...

It's hard to imagine, if the moms spend any time at all with the nannies who act this way that they could actually be clueless as to the caliber of nanny they have hired.
How could so many nannies be such great actresses that they are the height of mammers and sophistication in front of the parents but complete pigs in public?
I think some of these might be the result of what somebody said above...some moms who could actually afford the best for their children don't actually CARE all that much who is with their children...as long as it doesn't have to be THEM. If a lot of these people cared just a bit more about their children than they apparently do, they would take the time to take their precious children to the bookstore themselves...or to the park, or to the zoo or to the swimming pool. Then they would take them home, feed them, read them a story and put them down for a nap. And when the children woke up from those naps, they would see the smiling faces of a mommies who love them. Instead they grab anybody they can get to watch their kids while they go out and live their lives as though they had no children at all. What a shame.

Anonymous said...

You don't need to describe these nannies. They are there all the time. As a patron there (with a child, who takes the child out if she gets noisy), I personally find them really obnoxious and completely oblivious of other customers and the security guards ask them to leave all the time and then they just sit there. If it were my kids, I would not want them to think that this is okay behaviour: If you go to a restaurant, buy something. If a security guard asks you to leave, leave.

eb/ bay ridge said...

To anon @ 9:41,
They are really loud and act as if they own the place. My nanny loves to take my son there but will actually tries to avoid the time when these nannies are there, such as late in the day.
The next time I see them, I am snapping their pictures. I hope anyone else will do the same. Their employers should be ashamed. A nanny is most definitely a reflection of the parents!

unreal said...

10:29-you sound like a fine nanny and I don't think anyone is talking about a nanny like you or a child like yours.

Anonymous said...

Oh! I am planning on going to this B&N today (Wednesday, Nov. 14th) as a matter of fact-are they there every day? Why doesn't someone have a better description of them or a name of one of their children? Are they usually there on Wednesdays? Who should I be looking for?

Anonymous said...

If you hear a bunch of loud and rude people, head in that direction. If you see children meandering through the store solo, ask the child to take you to her nanny. If you see children parked in strollers for inordinate amounts of time, look for the person nearest the stroller. And if you hear cellphones going off- follow the sound. You will find them. If this doesn't help, listen for gum smacking and popping. I also noticed that one of the nannies ate like a tornado.

Bring your camera!

anonymous1 said...

Good Nannies and mothers,
would it not be best to avoid such a crass and low-life crowd? Perhaps there is another bookstore you could frequent instead, where the atmosphere is calm and where civilized, intelligent people go for appropriate reasons. As for me, I would feel nervous and uncomfortable around such uncouth women.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry-I love B&N and it is right near where I live-some low class women aren't going to keep me from going there with my kids! though-couldn't I get sued for taking a picture of someone without their permission?

Anonymous said...

9:41 here. I'm not commenting on "uncouth women." That's not the point. The point is that these nannies are teaching the kids that it is okay to loiter even when you've been asked to leave by a security guard. There's something that strikes me as really wrong about that. It's essentially teaching a child to defy authority--and while sometimes authority should be defied, this isn't that kind of case. Raising a child to be respectful of others and of the rules of places that you visit is important--not as important as not abusing a child, for sure. But I wouldn't want these women as my child's role models, at least not long term.

Anonymous said...

9:41 here. I'm not commenting on "uncouth women." That's not the point. The point is that these nannies are teaching the kids that it is okay to loiter even when you've been asked to leave by a security guard. There's something that strikes me as really wrong about that. It's essentially teaching a child to defy authority--and while sometimes authority should be defied, this isn't that kind of case. Raising a child to be respectful of others and of the rules of places that you visit is important--not as important as not abusing a child, for sure. But I wouldn't want these women as my child's role models, at least not long term.

Anonymous said...

um, as a parent who lives in an area, rather than filling all your space w/such venom, why not provide a clear (and concise!) description of who you're talking about.
And, given your tone, I think I'd want to see you in B&N about as much as I'd want to see those 3 nannies....

Anonymous said...

Well-I am looking forward to my trip there later this afternoon-LOL!

erics mom said...

Sounds like you guys have nothing better to do. Your actually going to go by the store just to snitch on someone??

Anonymous said...

What is the race of these three stooges?

Why does the original poster refuse to disclose that part. saying someone has tinged orange hair doesnt mean anything.

As for myself, I take my daughter to storytime in the library. A retail establishment is for buying things... not loitering and hogging up the space (which the store owner rents) for free.

P.S. if a nanny chooses to go to B&N everyday... I can assume the following:

Her employer told her too
Her employer didn't giver her money to buy food for the kids
Her employer didn't giver her money for books.

Anonymous said...

What is the race of these three stooges?

Why does the original poster refuse to disclose that part. saying someone has tinged orange hair doesnt mean anything.

As for myself, I take my daughter to storytime in the library. A retail establishment is for buying things... not loitering and hogging up the space (which the store owner rents) for free.

P.S. if a nanny chooses to go to B&N everyday... I can assume the following:

Her employer told her too
Her employer didn't giver her money to buy food for the kids
Her employer didn't giver her money for books.

Meme said...

You know, you really have no right to complain about these women if you all are heading over there this afternoon to check out the side show. Surely you have something better to do.

Anonymous said...

Ugh. My kids go to B&N fairly often with our nanny who is very civilized, educated, etc. She can't tell me enough horror stories about what she sees.

Further, I have seen plenty with my own eyes. In all fairness though, I have observed many a *parent* in the evenings and on weekends ignore their kids while they get their gooey hands all over everything and run wild. Ever find a book in the children's section that isn't damaged? It's sick.

Nope, it isn't just the nannies in prestine Park Slope.

Have some respect, people. B&N isn't a mudroom.

ps: you couldn't pay me or offer me eternal life to put my kid in daycare!

Anonymous said...

From what I've seen most parents in Park Slope insist that their nannies take the children out of the house for upwards of five hours a day. Unless they've paid for a playspace, where do you expect them to take the kids? It's something I really don't understand. A walk is one thing, but here you are paying millions for these brownstones and you don't actually use them. If the nannies had a choice, I'm sure they'd rather sit and socialize in a living room... but you parents don't give them that option.

Signed, not a nanny -- I am a sahm, but I see what I see and what I see is this concept that every second of the day must be spent "doing" something, even if that doing something only involves sitting in a store and not spending any money.

Alicia said...

Wow! These women are so bad that they deter people from shopping at this store! I'm about ready to make the seven hour drive there just to see what they look like!

unreal said...

I think people expect that if the child is being taken to Barnes and Noble that the nanny isn't sitting in the cafe for hours yakking to her friends while the child sits in a stroller.

i am sure the parents think that the child is being allowed to explore the store, play with the train table downstairs or being read books by the nanny. NOT sitting in the stroller while nanny and her girlfriends are yakking and eating!

And, there are no playspaces you can go to around here for 5 hours-2 at the most!

mom said...

Perhaps these parents are very selfish and expect that when paying $20.00+ per hour for childcare services, that these people who represent themselves to be professional nannies are taking their kids interesting places and interacting with them.

There are no shortage of activities and museums to try in any big city. Even small towns have parks, swimming pools and libraries.
While I understand it is fun to go to Barnes and Nobel to enjoy the children's area, I would not use it regularly as a recreational area without making a purchase. Go to the library...although you have to keep the kids under control and quiet at a library...obviously too much work for the horrible, lazy, selfish nannies listed here.

And shame on the parents of these children for having no idea how their children are even spending their days. I treat my pets with more concern.

Anonymous said...

Why is it that so many people go to Barnes and Noble with their kids?
Why not the library? WHY do they need to go when there are people there who want to relax and buy stuff and not be bothered

Anonymous said...

I have visited this bnoble and seen firsthand that the security persons say nothing to the parents with kids running wild or having picnics in the aisles. Of course not all the nannies ar ethe same. Some will actually engage the kids while some ????? I have also witnessed where the security personell make a point of picking on the nannies. So in my opinion some of the nannies are not so good but then some of the security and people in charge are not so great either. I am a nanny who goes there maybe twice a week but try not to stay too long because I know there is more to do with kids than sit in barnes and noble or anywhere else for that matter for the entire day or even more than at least 2 hrs.

B&N Frequent Customer driven to rage by daily sightings of negligent nannies and their sad faced cha said...

If it isn't story time and you aren't buying anything; please report to your nearest library.

Thank you,
B&N Frequent Customer driven to rage by daily sightings of negligent nannies and their sad faced charges.

Anonymous said...

6:24:

I'll give it my best shot.

I know my children go to the library twice a week to participate in structured programs.

Additionally, they go once a week just to read on their own.

If the weather isn't great for days on end, inevitably there is a trip to B&N somewhere in the mix.

If the weather is good, they go to 1 of 3 parks. They usually alternate. They usually go out for a bit in the morning and the afternoon.

In between they are at home napping, doing projects, playing dress-up, engaging in independent play, going on playdates once a week or so, etc.

B&N does have it's purpose in a place lacking for indoor playspace. I hate Powerplay (nasty) and Play is too far away.

Anonymous said...

Mom,
Believe me,the nannies described here are not being paid $20 an hour. Parents who pay $20 generally have high standards, and require an educated well mannered nanny who will work on the books.

You are spot on about the activities available in large cities like NYC. The library system publishes a monthly booklet with schedules of all the many children's activities at all the branches.

Anonymous said...

Was one of them the famous sleeping nanny?

Meme said...

Oddly, this post has me thinking I should take my kids to B&N. I have been there shopping but Ihave never taken my kids there. It is getting really cold here....sounds like a nice indoor thing to do.

I think we'll go tomorrow.

I promise I won't let them trash the place and I will, at the very least, buy myself a cup of coffee and a cookie for both the children!

mom said...

If these are cheap nannies who the parents hired to save a buck and they know they are getting sub par care, then double shame on them!

And nannies, even if you are working for cheap people, it does not obligate you to behave without any manners.

Parents who let your kids run berzerk, destroying books and disturbing everybody else...that's no better. (And you're not doing your precious kids any favors by letting them act that way.)

Class and manners are not a matter of our stations in life or our income levels. Being thoughtful and respectful is the height of class in my opinion. It doesn't cost a dime...and if you don't have it in you, no amount of money is going to buy it for you.

erics mom said...

12:06

I agree with you. Alot of moms are home, but don't want the nanny and child their with them. I guess they want the whole house to themselves. I don't understand that either. I can see being out of the house for two or three hours. If you have a nice playroom in your house, whats the big deal if the nanny hangs out there occasionally. They can do activities there as well.

Everyone mentioned taking the kids to other activities. I don't know the area, but if it involves taking a subway, or bus maybe the parents will not let the nanny take the kids on it. I am thinking Barnes and Nobles is probably walking distance for these nannies, thats why they go there. Especially, in the cold months.

Anonymous said...

Yes, most people around here are not big on the idea of their nanny taking their child on buses and subways to go places. So, the nanny has to stick with what is in walking distance in the neighborhood. We have play spaces here-but, not any that you can stay at all day. I think there is a 2 hour max at powerplay

mom said...

What kind of parent would bother to have kids, decline to raise them, hire a nanny to be a substitite mother, insist the children are out of the house all day and, because she doesn't live close to any great kid-centered activities, insist that the nanny hang out at a bookstore all day long? That doesn't make any sense.

And if people are working to afford more and more luxuries for their own lives, don't you think they would at least spring for cab fare or a car service to see that their children are escorted safely to and from their outings...if they care enough that they don't want them on public transportation? Having a child, mostly ignoring it, and then forcing it to languish at a bookstore day after day in the company of an unmannered and surly caretaker is like buying a dog and forcing it to live in a cage all day long. What's the point?

Anonymous said...

B&N has become a place to hang out for all kinds of people. There are also lots of students just reading/working from books there with not even a cup of coffee. The real problem is that B&N does not enforce itself as a RETAIL place. We go there a lot, but always buy something in the cafe and pick up after ourselves. We also buy a lot of books (1 every time we visit usually). The truth is that Park Slope does not have a lot to offer for young children, esp. in cold or rainy weather. And lots of people, even ones with nannies, have small apts. with nowhere for the kids to play. What to do? Beats me. I find going to B&N totally depressing, esp. when the nannies (and parents) read magazines and let their kids runs all over the place. But this is city living and the library is much the same, believe it or not.

hopi pride said...

re:when the nannies (and parents) read magazines and let their kids runs all over the place. But this is city living and the library is much the same, believe it or not.

Isn't that what a library is for??

mom said...

Yes, the library is for sitting and reading. Children (and adults) should still use quiet voices when they need to speak, and there should be no running around. And guess what! It's a GOOD THING to teach your children about appropriate behavior in a variety of different situations. A nanny who is negligent in this way is ultimately harming your children.

Barnes and Noble is a store. I doubt they mind adults, or even well behaved children, who sit and read, as they have made it very comfortable for people to do so (although with the idea the people will ultimately buy things there too.) But it is NOT alright to use the cahirs or tables all day long for yourself and your friends, or to behave obnoxiously at any time.

I had a friend from our playgroup who let her kids run wild and act HORRIBLY everywhere we went. It was an embarrassment just to be with her. People gave her and her children dirty looks and even said really mean (although not entirely undeserved)things to them, but she didn't care. I would look at the faces of her children when people would look disgustedly at them or call them brats. The children knew people didn't like them and I wondered what that was doing to them inside. Teachers didn't like them, other parents didn't like them, children didn't like them, strangers on the street didn't like them. Only their mom could stand to be around them. So they got to do whatever they pleased whenever they pleased and mommy never got mad at them? Big deal. Nobody liked them and they knew it. Is this what people want for their children? It can't possibly be good for their self esteem in the end.

mom said...

Here are some ideas my friends and I used to keep our kids busy during the colder months. You probably need at least three or four kids to do this though, so grab some friends. Call the fire department, police station, library, grocery store, pizza parlor, ice cream shop, bank, car dealership, ice rink...any business that seems interesting and ask them if they would be willing to provide a tour of their business for a group of young children. Most will say yes. You would be surprised at how many places will do this. We did this with preschoolers and they were completely fascinated with every place we visited. Not only did they learn what goes on behind the scenes at all of these different places, but it was a nice warm and different way to spend our days. make the "field trips" at least a week apart to keep them special.

Moms, you can make the calendar of events and send your nannies if you think they are lacking in good places to go. Personally, I really got a kick out of visiting all of these places right along with the kiddos.

Meme said...

Wow, Mom...you are on a roll tonight and all of it brilliant. I can't pick just one thing to comment on. Kudos!

mom said...

Thanks meme,
I'm a little bored tonight. My kids went to the school football game with dad and I have to stay back because I'm sick. But I better get off of here and at least do something useful ;)

Goodnight Y'all!

Anonymous said...

I am a SAHM who takes her child to B&N at least twice a week. I actually do watch him the entire time. It's always the same. We browse books, play with the Thomas the Train, and end up in Starbucks sharing a cookie. Then we talk about his school day. Love that. And guess what? He's not quite four, but he nevers screams, tears up books, pushes stuff off shelves, LOITERS. That is because he's been taught to respect books and to be quiet around them. The same goes for the library. He knows the only time he can be loud is when either has storytime and is encouraged to yell out answers or sing. When he does act up, cause what toddler doesn't, we leave. He hates having our routine disrupted, so this method works well for us.

What I HATE is when someone lets their little one or charge run amoke! It's disruptive and merchindise usually ends up ruined. I've spoken up to people to let them know they need to watch their child. I try not to be patronizing, but have a hard time not wanting to had out Darwin awards to some of these people!

cali mom said...

Right on 12:23!

Mom, I love your idea of organizing the "field trips".

I've discovered one of the best rainy day activities here is a trip to Ikea. Knowing how toddlers are interested in looking in every drawer, cupboard, cabinet, lifting every lid, opening every refrigerator and dishwasher and peeking behind every curtain, that place can keep my DS happily entertained for HOURS. Like 12:23 above, he stays near me and does NOT run or yell, or we leave. He can touch things as long as he is gentle with them and puts them back where they were and we do not damage or dirty anything. They are also very family-friendly at Ikea and don't mind if we sit on EVERY single sofa and chair in the place, or if he tries every bed in the kids' section. They have a great display of toys of course, as well as a train table set up just for kids to play with. The cafe is super cheap so we can sit down for a break and a bite to eat halfway through.

And just try taking a three year old to a laundromat, LOL! We can spend 25 minutes just watching all the different machines working, looking inside all the empty washers and dryers, examining the change machine, trying all the pull knobs on the vending machines, etc. It's so cool how 3 year olds are fascinated by everything!

cutefemmegirl said...

Amazing how the simple things in life are enjoyed by younger children, it doesn't always have to cost money.

Meme said...

Good Job 12:23. My kids are the same way. It is really not that hard to teach your child to have manners and behave correctly in public. All kids have the potential for a meltdown from time to time, but for the most part, children can be quite easily taught to behave if the "teacher" cares enough.

Anonymous said...

I think the nannies hang out at the Barnes and Noble store because they want to be together and they do not want to be outside in the cold. I suspect the children themselves would rather be in the cold, and if the weather is bright enough, it is also probably better for them too. Germs tend to like crowded, warm places in cold weather. Also, SAHMS with nannies tend to live in large houses so I do not think they are the ones pushing the nanny and the children outside. Now, I wish I could say that my kids are perfect angels in bookstores, but this is far from the truth, so that some of our trips there have been amazingly short!

Anonymous said...

I am a nanny who had once work for a mom who works from home, she did not want her child in the home because it would disrupt her business calls. So when the weather was bad she would always tell me to take the child to B&N which i hated to do because this child was not well behaved and would start pulling books from the selves, while screaming to the top of her lungs, she would not even sit for a minute for me to read her a book. I told this to her mother and she did not care, the thing is the mother wanted me to stay there for hours and told me what time i can come back home.The weather started getting bad because it was around winter and she wanted me to go every day, I quit after a couple of months of this .

Anonymous said...

7:23 I'm sorry, but if you didn't like going to B&N, you could have investigated and suggested alternate activities or arrangements. I do think your employer sounds like a jerk (I work from home several days a week and accomodating for normal family noise is something that comes with the territory--I set up my home office far from my children's playroom and the kitchen--and I never ask my nanny to go somewhere--especially a retail store--just to get the kids out of the house). But, you could have suggested classes to sign the child up for, taking the kids to museums or craft centers, Y, library etc. Part of being a professional child care provider is reminding and recommending things to parents who might not know better (my nanny always has the best suggestions). As for the behavior issues, it sounds like your charge didn't like B&N. All it takes is the threat that their nanny or I will leave or not take my kids somewhere they enjoy again because of inappropriate behavior to get them to pause and chill out. When there is a real benefit that will be removed--and they know you mean business, most children do shape up.

anonymous1 said...

I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear a news bulletin on CNN or one of the other news stations one day about some "horrific incident" happening at this B&N bookstore. Hopefully, I'm wrong but I know I would never go there or even think about taking a child there. Scary.

surprise, surprise said...

7:23 PM, I feel for you, and 9:51 PM it's not always that easy. Please don't pass judgement unless you've been in a similar situation, which correct me if I am wrong, but I am gathering you have not been in a situation such as this.

I was in an extremely similar situation myself, before giving my notice and quitting. I worked for a family, where the mother was an absolute workaholic (she left the house every day by 6 AM and wasn't home until 7-7:30 PM.) The father however, worked from home and was absolutely obsessed with having the house to himself...AND I do mean obsessed! Their son was barely 2, and they lived in the suburbs, yet refused to allow me to use the bus, any form of public transportation or my car (!!) to take my charge on daily required lengthy outings. Needless to say, our walking options were exceptionally limited and I was expected to keep this poor little toddler out of the house for AT LEAST 5 hours per day, and if that wasn't enough, to keep him silent when we were in the house! The only near by facilities were not child appropriate in my opinion, though his parents seemed to disagree (a cafe, and a small family owned book store) but on cold days (which are often here) our options were so limited that we would alternate between the two. On several occasions I begged (yes, begged) to enroll their son into early childhood programs, story time, craft days, and even arrange playdates for the neighborhood. They refused on the basis that the programs were not in walking distance and that he, their son, and I quote: "was not good with other children." I politely objected to this (I have a degree in early childhood education) and am quite certain he could have become good with other kids if given the correct social tools, but again this was met with disapproval and blatant disregard. To make a long story a bit more bearable, I quit the job after having one too many stressful days with a screaming two year old who was becoming increasingly more angry, not grasping why he was yet again at a cafe rather than having his mind enriched. It was the worst situation I have ever been in (sure, I've had worse bosses, but to watch a child being treated so much like a burden and unnecessary annoyance killed me!) I brought books, activities, games, crafts, toys, and pamphlets for programs only to be "scolded" by my employer and told to take his son back to the Cafe so he could get some "peace and quiet"...odd, when even laughter seemed to set him off. It was both disheartening and humiliating for me (as I was not given an allowance to spend on the child either, and none the less tended to spend my own money, but you can't stop strangers from giving you "what the heck are you doing at this cafe every day" looks. There was only so many times it was fun to count the napkins at the same cafe, bring teddy bear for the same old sandwich, or jump over cracks in the floor at the same bookstore and there is only so much a person can do when not given permission or allowance to do more! I guess what I am attempting to say is; never underestimate the power of crappy parents, they are our bosses, and we as their employ are attempting as best we can to follow their rules and requirements. There are more parents who behave this way, than sadly you'd believe! God bless Suburbia. ;)

Signed,
A nanny with 10 years experience with every kind of family imaginable!

cutefemmegirl said...

3:33
Wow. I surely do sympathize with you. Although I went through a similar experience, after a bit of convincing I was able to get the parents to allow me to take their child on outings. It started slowly, like going back to my house, so he could swim and play games, etc. (They didn't have anything to do at their house, and hardly any toys for the poor kid! Can you believe that ... you would never guess a kid lived in that house!) But after awhile, they began to let us do more things, like going to the zoo, to the beach, a museum ... So, I agree, parents can carry alot of the blame in what the Nannys are being put through.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if anyone from B&N has seen this? You'd think they'd buy a clue.

Anonymous said...

9:51 here. Wow. I apologize. Sounds like you both had awful employers. Can't figure out why a parent would choose to work at home (or maybe even have kids in the first place) when this is their approach. I was speaking from my own experience and have never come across a family like that--but then again work at home arrangements are not that common in my area--I only know of two other families who do it. I try to work at home specifically so I can spend more time with the kids--see them when they come home from school and cut out commuting time so I can eat dinner with them--plus my nanny appreciates being able to leave earlier a few days a week. Expecting there to be no noise and no toys in a house with kids is nuts--nothing makes me happier than when I go downstairs and hear my kids and the nanny giggling in the playroom. How can a nanny do her job and children have any fun in a sterile noise free environment? Also, I always thought leaving petty cash for the nanny is a norm (we add $50 a week into the petty cash envelope and based on my discussion with a few of my co-workers, that's about what they do--$25/kid to cover odds and ends like treats or pizza out now and then).

cutefemmegirl said...

12:00
You sound like one of "them" --- a GREAT employer! Maybe that's why it didn't gel at first why some of these Nannys were stuck taking their charges to these crappy hole-in-the-wall type places. These kids need to stimulate their mind, and body ... and being shut inside a B&N is just awful for them.

Anonymous said...

LORD JESUS I PRAY FOR ALL THESE HEARTLESS PEOPLE

Anonymous said...

no offense, but go thump your bible somewhere else.

Anonymous said...

9;51 because you work from home don,t assume other work at home parent thinks like you

I am 7;23....This is a Parent who you could not tell what to do with her child. She wants things done as she see's fit, without anyone questioning her judgement. If she playing with the child and she starts crying she would call me to come get her because as she said she cannot handle it, and i should take her to another room where she can,t hear the crying. She was a lousy parent.

Anonymous said...

i'm going tomorrow armed with my camera & I am going to snap tons of pictures & out the nannies & make the parents embrassed that their kids are being so poorly, let them explain to their friend why mom sits home why her kids are at BN being ignored or running amok!

Anonymous said...

but meezus, es thanksgiving tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

You know what- you are all Hippocrates! from the nanny/ sitters, to the rude cheap parents
across the boroughs... Not for nothing, first of all to the Parents; what in hell are the caregivers supposed to do, in cold weather? not that, thats an excuse for them to go lounging around in a freakin' bookstore for 2 hrs,but the least they should do is, find a spot to read( not blocking the aisles)and change some diapers, b/c I can't take the stench of dirty diapers while I, myself am shopping.. To the nannies/sitters or what ever you'd like as a title,
get a grip Huh! All you african nannies click up, and let those poor kids that need your attention suffer while you are talking about the warm weather in your country
and taking the kids that should be getting fresh air, into another sitters house to chat outload somemore- playdates my ass.. the parents are paying you to make friends-I see alot of you in the area chatting your asses off not paying any mind to " your charges"- man thas a harsh term you people use!

I actually, can't understand for the life of me, why Parent's hire people like you- I guess its b/c they themselves are"Cheap"..

You get what you pay for,
you gotta admit it!
if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen people...

marypoppin'pills said...

Um ... don't you mean 'hypocrites'?
'Hippocrates' was an Ancient Greek Physician, hence the term 'Hippocratic Oath'.

Anonymous said...

Well, 9:32, don't you think before you go off on some tangent, you ought to make sure you are more superior than us by at least checking your spelling.

mom said...

Perhaps 9:32 simply thinks we are all very wise...or doctors!

Anonymous said...

9:32
Don't you feel dumb right about now? That's what you get for trying to be insulting and rude.
I love it when the bad guys get their comeuppance!

Anonymous said...

9:32 could have made a valid point without personally insulting everyone on this blog!
And ... "stench from dirty diapers"? I hope you don't have any kids because that's just par for the course.

Anonymous said...

The other day, as I was performing my volunteer duties, I encountered the most disgusting stench coming from a gentleman nearby. I would have loved to have replaced it with diaper stench. I almost fainted.

Anonymous said...

ITA!
Dirty diapers are nothing compared to rancid body odor!

anonymous1 said...

Exactly so, 12:17, with mildew at the helm of the worst odors in my opinion. I've always wondered how it is that some people reek of overwhelming mildew?

Anonymous said...

maybe they just don't brush their teeth? lol ... ewww

marypoppin'pills said...

Anonymous1
I think I may have a decent enough answer, or at least one that makes sense.
In the middle of washing clothes one time, I got called away and wasn't able to toss them into the dryer. I forgot about them until the next morning and threw them in (with a dryer sheet, even). Well, they stunk of "mildew", and I had to rewash the whole load. Maybe this could be why that guy smelled of it?