Sunday

Nanny's three month vacation proves less than convenient...

Received Sunday, September 2, 2007-Perspective & Opinion
I need some opinions on this. I work outside of the home and am currently on maternity leave with my third child. For the past year we have had a live in nanny who is excellent. In addition to the nanny we have a housekeeper who comes in once a week to do heavy cleaning, laundry, etc. I will be going back to work in about two months to a position which will allow me a lot more flexibility so I can spend more time with the kids. At around the same time I go back to work my nanny will be leaving for a three month vacation to visit her family back home (she will not be paid during this time). I need to hire another nanny for this time period but I just don't know if it wil be possilbe to find a live-in nanny for just three months but I want to be honest with anyone I hire that it is most likely a temporary position. On the other hand, what if my current nanny decides to prolong her stay or not come back at all? Or what if I like the temporary nanny more? Should I just terminate the current nanny so I won't have to deal with this situation again and start fresh? I really like her but it is not convenient. Also, for when I go back to work should I expect one nanny to be able to handle 3 kids (the older two are in school fulltime). Thank you.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think it's totally understandable if you decide to hire a new nanny. I'm sure your current nanny is aware that losing her job is probable (she has to be ready to lose her job if she's going to take a 3-month holiday).

If you really like her, you should try to arrange something but if you think you can get someone better or someone as good, by all means go ahead. Just let your current nanny know so that she can find a new family.

Good luck

Anonymous said...

I guess that could be a fear, the nanny not returning or finding a better job. I would have maybe offered her two weeks pay at least since she been with you for a year. Plus, you did state she was excellent, but it seems like you are not that happy with her????

Is their a reason she may not want to come back? Do you get a feeling in your gut that she may not return. If shes living their did she take everything from her room or are most of her items still there? I am assuming if she didn't empty out everything she is coming back.

I am sure you can find a temporary live in nanny either thru an agency or sources like Craigs List.

If both your kids are in school full-time I think a nanny could handle three kids. Can you afford to get someone to come when your kids get home and help out the other nanny with the three of them. It would be alot to watch three children afterschool, since each child will be demanding on the one person. Or if your kids have activities on certain days hire someone to help with that. Maybe a babysitter to watch the little one if she has to take the kids to different activities. I wouldn't drag a NB out.

Anonymous said...

If the three month vacation was agreed on at the start of her employement with you, you need to give her the vacation and find temporary help for those 3 months and accept her back with open arms. If this was not prediscussed and she can't lessen the time she'll be away, you have everyright to find someone who can stay in the area the majority of the year. Don't forget to discuss alotted vacation time before you hire someone next time...

Anonymous said...

or... hire someone that ISN'T a live in for those 3 months. I'm pretty sure you'll survive.

Anonymous said...

I agree with 4:08. Can't you find a temp to live out for 3 months?

It will probably be easier to find a live out temp than a live in temp. I just sayin I wouldn't want to move into a home for 3 months only to have move out again. Thats hard on the nanny and the children.

pat in rochester said...

You agreed to this three months in advance? Call a nanny service and get a temporary sitter if you did. If she is not getting paid to go home, what advantage is it to her to lie about returning?

Anonymous said...

If you agreed ahed of time for her to be allowed this vacation, it would be dirty, not to metion possibly illegal for you to terminate her for it. Even if you dont have a legal contract for such, she could sue you and plus it just woudnt say much for your character as an employer.

If you really want to let her go, I suggest a FAT severance and long, loving talk and hope it goes well.

Cheesepower said...

why did you ever agree to a three month vacation in the first place? You had to know it was going to be hard to find someone to fill in. As a nanny, I would be pretty ticked if I was told it was fine to take my vacation, and then later canned because of it. I'd wonder why you just didn't say no in the first place.

Anonymous said...

OP here -- I responded to this earlier but my post hasn't shown up. She didn't say anything about the 3 month vacation when I was hiring her or else I would not have hired her. She's told me about it now. If I say no she will likely resent me for it or quit and go anyways. Now that she has worked for us, I like her but I'm trying to decide whether I like her enough to deal with the present inconvenience or likely future re-occurence. Boy I hope this posts so you all can stop being so nasty to me based on an incorrect assumption.

Anonymous said...

Ignore the nasty people.
I have a nanny that I adore. She is my right arm. We are a team. She is also the fifth nanny I have had in 6 years. It took a long time to find a fit for my children, our home and even my husband and I. You have nothing to feel bad about, because you wonder what to do. Set her free. This is a great chance to make a new start. You also have a new baby in the home, so perhaps you should look for a professional nanny. American nannies- if you can find the real one- who happily make a career out of it-are the best. I've gone every which way. And the nanny I have now garnishes so much positive feedback from teachers, other parents, even my family. I went through three years of hell to get here. No one should be able to spring a three month sabbatical on their employer!

Good luck with the new baby.

Anonymous said...

to 10:15, how do you go about finding a professional nanny?

to OP: good luck, be honest with your nanny and tell her that you may not be able to guarantee her job after three months, depending on the needs of the kids. In hiring a new nanny, you can say that it may or may not be permanent, give it a trial period of a month or so. And since your two older children are in school full-time, I see no reason to employ more than one really good nanny as well.

Anonymous said...

Does she have her own kids back home that she's going to see?

Anonymous said...

Since this was not agreed to when she was hired, It is totally unreasonable of her to expect you to hold her job for her for 3 months! This is something a family might do for a nanny who had been with them for several years, after one year, NO.
Tell her you will have to hire a new nanny, and when she returns, she can check with you, incase the new nanny isn't working out.
When you hire the new nanny, you need to spell out a contract that includes vacation time, holidays, and sick/personal days.
A Nanny

Anonymous said...

To find a Professional Nanny try...

The English Nanny and Governess School

They train nannies for 1 year and then place them....those girls are making it their job....you'll have better luck there...

Anonymous said...

or just use a reputable agency and/or parents board and tell them this is what you are looking for:

minimum of five years nanny experience
minimum age of 26
miminum 5 yrs driving experience
3 childcare references
college degree or minimum 2 yrs of college education (verifiable)
interest/knowlegge in child development
CPR certified (verify)
red cross certification (verify)
accomplished swimmer (take no chances)

From there you start interviewing.

Anonymous said...

I had luck with sittercity.com Both for my permanent and a temporary 1 month nanny.

Anonymous said...

What does she think you are? A Fortune 500 company? Is she exercising her right to an unpaid 12 week family leave? Sheesh.

3 months off is a HUGE inconvenience, assuming you work for a living.

If you don't work, just deal with the 3 months youself.

Anonymous said...

I know what you are going through. As a parent who have multiple children, I do not have a nanny. I put my trust in a day care center because atleast with a center there are other people around to ensure the safety of my children. As far as one person taking care of three childre, that is nothing. Many nannies and parents do it all the time. Unless you want your children to each have one on one attention then one person can handle the job.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you stay with your own children? Isn't that what you had them for? NO wonder this world is so screwed up. THEY NEED THEIR MOTHER, NOT SOME STRANGER.

Anonymous said...

To 10:29... ideally maybe she would like to but she's not able. These days a lot of families need a second income and staying home with the children is not possible. I was fortunate enough to have a stay at home Mother but I wouldn't have thought any less of her if she would have worked. A lot of families have both parents working so that they can provide a life for their children that is above the level that they had.

Anonymous said...

Give a thought to the nanny for a minute. There must be a damn good reason for her to take 3 months off.
Perhaps she is from a far away country and can only afford to visit home every few years? (My old boss was from New Zealand, and was a former nanny. Because plane tickets to NZ are over $2500, and it is a 24 hour+ flight, she goes home every 3 or 4 years for 2 or 3 months)
Perhaps she has a sick mother or grandmother, in which case she legally can take off that much time for family leave.
Your nanny works for you, but in fact must have a family of her own which needs attention. Being a full-time, live-in nanny can be lonely and hard after time-It takes up your entire life, and you sacrifice all of your time and energies for a family that is not yours. (this is why my old boss quit nannying after 18 years-she woke up one day and realized that her life was not her own)

If you want a new nanny, than you must tell your old nanny immediately and send her away with a bonus, at least 2 or 3 weeks pay, and a good reference. If you're not sure yet what to do, than you must make up your mind but quickly, because loosing your job unexpectedly can be extremely difficult and depressing-your nanny will need to make new arrangements for her return.

Anonymous said...

There are quite a few details missing here. If she 1. gave you enough notice (sounds like from your comment earlier she might have given about 2 months?) and 2. is allowing you flexibility on when she leaves to make sure you find a suitable temporary, and 3. she is really good with your kids, you probably should get a temp and plan on keeping her. I am a working mother of 3 (2 of which are in school) and it is hard to find a good nanny to handle 3 kids. Why is she taking leave? If it is as 2:42 say, you might want to talk to her about the timing of her leave. It is much easier to find temporary help during the summer months than the winter.

Anonymous said...

Im a nanny myself (from New Zealand)People here would give their nanny 3 months off if they had the right nanny that they wanted to keep but it is hard to find someone who will fill in for the 3 months needed as nannies tend to want more permanent work unless they are travelers. if you have the right nanny that fits in with your family and gives alot back I think you should let her have the time as she will appreciate that and give you more back in return-usualy.
Im looking at traveling again soon and will be looking for temporary work so if you want a nanny for 3 months type back...I can give my details

Anonymous said...

You do sound fairly self absorbed. You are on maternity leave. Not everyone has this luxury or a nanny. Its a perfect opportunity to let the children know who thier mother is. Why not jump at the chance?