Wednesday

Talbots in Upper Montclair, New Jersey

Received Wednesday, June 13, 2007
This occured at about 1:00 PM, today (6/13).
African-American or Jamaican nanny with little girl, about 4, who had two pigtails. I didn't even know the woman was with the child at first--that's how quiet and good the little girl was. At first, it didn't bother me. But after the first half-hour, I thought, Well, this child is certainly being ignored--and she is incredibly patient! The Nanny was only interacting enough to say, from time to time, "Get over here!" Anyway, after about 40 minutes, two things happened. First, they got in line after me to pay. I accidentally bumped into the child with a wooden hanger, immediately apologizing. But Nanny said, "Oh, I'm sure it was her fault!" !!!!!!!! (I assured her it was an ACCIDENT on everyone's part.) THEN, just as I was thinking, "I hope this sitter is going to get the kid an ice cream or something," the little girl said, "HAZEL, am I still going to be on timeout when we get home?" And Hazel says, "YES." And the girl says, "WHY?" And Hazel says, drum roll please: "BECAUSE YOU DO NOT LISTEN TO ME! "

Now, admittedly, maybe this lovely, patient, good-seeming child, had an ogre-ish moment before entering the store. But I find it heartbreaking that she was being rewarded for this adult's shopping outing with a timeout!!!! To my knowledge, the nanny said NOTHING to praise the little girl for her patience or grace. What is the child learning by this???? I hate to think.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Like you said you don't know so mind your business and keep on moving. Why do kids ALWAYS have to be rewarded for stuff. It gives the kid the wrong idea. They expect it all of the time. So just because this kid was good in one store she deserves a prize? Isn't that what she is suppose to do? Geez!

ceo said...

a reward can be as much as a "good job, you were so patient and I really appreciate that"

if you don't give kids positive praise and attention, they will act out because they know they will get SOME sort of attention by being bad.

why don't you leave the site if you are so concerned with people minding their own business. mind you own!

Anonymous said...

Does the parent even know nasty nanny was shopping at Talbots today?

I am a SAHM and have a nanny 6 hours a day just so I don't have to drag my children with me on errands. But if I did, I would certainly be conscience of their good behavior.

Children learn more from praising positive behavior than they do from punishing neg behavior.

Anonymous said...

could she have acted so well cause she just got in trouble for mis-behaving?? you dont know the whole story seems like nit-picking

ceo said...

6:31, the OP said "Now, admittedly, maybe this lovely, patient, good-seeming child, had an ogre-ish moment before entering the store."

So I'm sure she is aware she doesn't know the whole story. But Hazel's mother has the right to know what is going on and decide for herself whether it is nit-picking or legitimate.

Anonymous said...

If I was the parent, I would call the store and ask if the sales person noticed this behavior.

Talbots
574 Valley Rd
Montclair, NJ 07042
(973) 746-9220

the oddcase of the naked nanny said...

If you haven't read the naked nanny story, do so now. The parents had no clue until they came home and nanny was naked on her sofa. It is a tough read if you are a parent. But it might caution some of you naysayers about coming down on the OPs who post their sightings. They think they SEE something. If only someone had alerted this nanny's employers that something was off.

http://www.sptimes.com/2005/05/01/Southpinellas/The_odd_case_of_a_nak.shtml

Anonymous said...

i am getting so sick of the hostile nanny brigade jumping in to remind us that children are horrendous little animals who clearly must have been behaving horrendously just seconds before the FORTY MINUTES of mind-numbing boredom graciously endured while the selfish nanny shopped on her employer's time.

Ona side note, I just followed the link to that naked nanny story, and I (surprisingly, I'm sure) didn't see that as a case of an evil nanny abusing her charge -- I just read it as sad.

Anonymous said...

If nothing else, the nanny is missing the point of time outs. "Because you don't listen to me" is not specific enough for a four year old, and it is too late after the fact. If the child was behaving so well because she had already gotten into trouble for serious misbehavior, she wouldn't be asking what the time out was for. The nanny sounds irritable and incompetent to me.
And no, you don't have to give a treat for good behavior, but a thank you for waiting so nicely is certainly called for.
A Nanny

ceo said...

Since the last link didn't go through I googled it and here it is:

http://www.sptimes.com/2005/05/01/Southpinellas/The_odd_case_of_a_nak.shtml

heidi said...

Yes. sad.
Last summer there was a case of a NJ nanny was who was nanny cam'd STOMPING up and down on the BABY in her care. My question, no one who saw this nanny on a daily basis saw warning signs? I just don't believe that.

In this day and age, we all need to be aware. Not just on the look out for suspicious packages at airports but for suspicious actions around children.

Anonymous said...

8:28,
I agree, the nanny was not using time out properly. If you do use time outs (which I don't) you need to do it the right way and be very specific to the child about why they are in time out and after they get out of time out you need to follow up and talk to them about their behavior. And a time out should certainly not last the duration of a shopping trip or longer.
As far as nanny abuse cases, true, there are many cases of abuse every day, by many different people. Nannies, parents, teachers, priests, etc. and it is very very sad. Sad too are the many cases that involve unfounded accusations.
My favorite quote of the day:
"I am a SAHM and have a nanny 6 hours a day just so I don't have to drag my children with me on errands."
I am laughing and crying at the same time. But mostly crying.

Anonymous said...

Someone give me a sedative.

I hear all this whining and moaning that time-outs don't work, but the problem is THAT NO ONE GIVES THEM CORRECTLY.

And this does not warrant a time-out anyway.

That nanny should get a time out with a size 9 up her butt.

Molly said...

To 7:53PM: Some food for thought about the nanny who was accused of sexual abuse:

Our society has a difficult time seeing females as sexually abusive, perhaps because females have traditionally been in caregiving roles that naturally include some nakedness. However, in this case with the nanny who was found naked with the 4 year old boy sitting on her: If that nanny was a naked man laying on your couch, and the 4 year old was your daughter, do you think you would feel differently?

If we suppose that this nanny was telling the truth (and that's a big supposition), and this child said "I want to see you naked", shouldn't every normal adult say "No"? Pedophiles generally sexualize children by explaining to everyone that "she/he wanted it", because they are unable to separate their own feelings/needs from those of children.

Anonymous said...

I beleive it is fine for a nanny to take her charge to any store as long as the parents are fine with it. Who knows what the agreement between a parent/nanny is.

ble said...

9:53...as a SAHM, you have 6 hours of errands every day??? Wow! No wonder you NEED a nanny!

I have two children, 1 and 2, I am a SAHM, and have to "drag" my children with me everywhere simply because I choose to raise them myself and not think of an outing, no matter what it may be, as being forced to drag my precious babies along with me.

Sorry, but moms like you really irritate me. Don't have children if they are such a burdon on you! It's probably a good thing your kids have a nanny!

ble said...

Oops...SO SORRY 9:53! My comment should have been directed at 6:28. I found the quote first, referred to, in your posting and accidentally put the wrong time. Again...I apologize to you 9:53, but as for 6:28, please read my last comment. It was meant for you!

Anonymous said...

Funny, my favorite quote of the day is 9:53's inane misunderstanding of the poster SHE took the time to quote:

My favorite quote of the day:
"I am a SAHM and have a nanny 6 hours a day just so I don't have to drag my children with me on errands."
I am laughing and crying at the same time. But mostly crying


Does 9:53 seriously not understand that the SAHM was explaining that she goes out of her way to make sure her children's days are not filled with the endless and endlessly boring days of shopping and bill paying? She employs someone to continue the playtime while she takes care of the necessary crap that most kids would prefer not to be dragged alont to do.

Hmmm . . . now maybe I feel like laughing/crying a bit.

Anonymous said...

I know plenty of SAHMS who have full time nannies os they don't have to "deal" with their children. So please don't attack a mother who is using a nanny in a way that allows the children to continue thir activities. Most nannies of SAHMS work 12 hour days. And get bitched at if they are 4 minutes late.

Anonymous said...

What you need to do is mind your damb bussiness,the only thing thing you said right is you don't know what happened before they came in the store,maybe the mother sent them to the store,because you hire nannys and they also become secretery, cleaning ,ladies mother father.all what you cant do you expect the nanny to do

ch said...

WHAT?
I didnt understand a bit of that.

Jenille said...

First of all shes NOT Jamacian. Whoever wrote this need to STOP the yellow journalism("Oh, I'm sure it was her fault!" !!!!!!). Half the things said here was incorrect("Oh, I'm sure it was her fault!" !!!!!!!!).Personally knowing her i can most definetly say, she is NOT a "nasty nanny." The author of this B.S only knows what occcured at that time and place and nothing else. She could have been,like someone said before, misbehaving before and that was the reason for acting good. I think it is absolutly ignorant for people to write this shit especially with names. Was the child abused in the store? Was she hit or hurt? i don' think so! And some of the parents of these children don't even know how to control their own kids and leave it up to the nannies to be a little strict. All the parents on here who have nannies or what not are 100% insecure. Why have them if you just go on here and complain and worry, that makes no god damn sense! Why come on here and ruin peoples lives. i mean i know there are Nannies who are out of control but to post shit about a nanny who told a child not to do something is complete stupidness. And to who wrote this you really have a lot of time on your hands.. mybe you should go take care of your kids or maybe you just can`t make any.

rd said...

Jenille,
Did this nanny get fired?

Jenille said...

no she did not get fired rd.. and the things that i indicated before was ABSOLUTELY NOT said to the child..how do i know this? well she is my mother. and i am 100% angry about this blog. she has been a babysitter for years to a point where people fought over her to get her. The funny thing is you might be forced to beleive everything that this woman says, but how exactly are you all supposed to know if all this is true. and if she is still an employee of these people she must be doin something right, to the point where the little girl runs towards my mother when she sees her.so please all of you mind your business and take this shit down.
and btw the parents are absolutly ok with her taking the child out rather than to stay home all day to do what? okay then..

Anonymous said...

Jenille,
Why not have your daughter tell her side of the story? It then goes up in the same post as the person reporting the story.

Jenille said...

That nanny should get a time out with a size 9 up her butt. <-- you try it first and tell me how it feels


you guys also do not know how the child acts and im pretty sure "because you dont listen to me" was taken out of contact..imagine saying it in a not yelling/bold voice "because you don`t listen to me." you just think of it as the yelling and screaming because of the hype this blogger want to make it.

Jenille said...

12:03 AM <-- i am the daughter

Anonymous said...

This is for the mother whose child got yelled at at Talbots: if you are reading this - I know this child. I do not know you. I very recently found out that it is common practice for your nanny to yell at her. From my very, very, reliable source, your nanny, Hazel, "yells at the child all the time." I was very upset to hear this and immediately did a number of searches to find this site. I have no other interest except that I also am a mother and would be very upset to hear my daughter was being treated this way. Apparently, Hazel was not this way with other children she has worked for, but she is this way with your child. Good luck with your situation.

Jenille said...

anonymous.. who do you get your information from? obviously none of you are woman enough to put your real names or say who your "very, very, reliable source" is. Who the fuck goes around telling people that shit. You apparently have nothing else to do except talk about people. And to every one so god damn nosey!!! THE MOTHER OF THE CHILD IS VERY AWARE OF HAZELS DISCIPLINARY ACTION ON THE CHILD. At least the mother knows half of you have nannies who hit the children or worse but because they dont get put on blast all over the internet its okay? please! All thats left to say is Karma is a bitch. You better believe what goes around must comes around.