Sunday

"Selfish and Snarky"

Received Sunday, May 6, 2007
1) As a mom and a professional daycare provider, I'm very disapointed by this site and the people on it. Many of these stories are so obviously embellished and told in a manner to make the nanny look bad. But in my experience as a caregiver, it's typically the parents who treat the kids the worst in public. I can't tell you how many times I see MOMS ignoring their children at parks, spending an hour or more yapping on their cell as their child begs them to play, or worse. This is ALL behavior moms engage in..........nannys are human too, and we should not be persecuting them for behavior we do.

2) If these stories are remotely true, it's very upsetting to me that people are seeing so many children in danger and say nothing, and instead come home to email and anonnymous website. Where is the personal responsibility here? If you see a child in true danger, it's really your duty to speak up and protect them. Taking it to a website just seems selfish and snarky, and you don't seem to have the childs best interest at heart in any way.

73 comments:

Anonymous said...

You sound angry. And new.
And by the by, I sign on hear everyday looking for bad nanny sightings. And when there are none, I feel much the same way I feel when I realize my pack of menthols is empty. Bummed.

Anonymous said...

When you get PAID to do a job, you have to do it a certain way. You are not enitled to the perks of being a mother! I am so tired of this argument. Yes, mom can be on her cellphone & gabbing with friends. This is Mom's LIFE not her job. A nanny's job is to make the children a priority while she is on the clock. END OF DISCUSSION.

one smarmy mama said...

As a mom, it is not a "perk" of my life to ignore, abuse, and mistreat my children. We pay caregivers to give them the care we would if we didn't have to work or be away. We should not hold them to a higher expectation than we hold ourselves. If we can't bear to be off the phone for twenty minutes in the park, how can we expect our nanny's to? If we can't hold our temper in the mall and refrain from snapping at our kids, how can we expect that of anyone else? Those in glass houses........

Anonymous said...

Hindsight is 20/20, byatch.

lauren said...

I agree with you that you shouldn't watch a child be abused and then blog about it. I don't think most of these instances have to do with abuse. There are instances where other nannies and parents have said something to the nanny. Still, they don't know who the nanny works for.
I searched the blog and found this for you:
http://isawyournanny.blogspot.com/2006/08/submission-guidelines.html

Anonymous said...

I think this site is tremendously helpful. Yes, there are posters here who can be rude or off topic, but that is any website with anonymous comment options. I think what rubs some caregivers the wrong way is the feeling they are being teamed up on. That is really not the case as I see now there are Good Nanny sitings too here.

Anonymous said...

hmmm. I disagree.

Anonymous said...

I meant. hmmmmm. I disagree with OP.

gv said...

How dare you presume to judge a mother! "I can't tell you how many times I see MOMS ignoring their children at parks, spending an hour or more yapping on their cell as their child begs them to play, or worse". You don't know what is happening! Maybe the mom is a SAHM who spends 80 hours a week alone with her 3 DCS while her DH travels. Maybe her time at the park is the only time the children are otherwise occupies and her only FREE time. There is a huge difference between what a mother does and what a nanny should do. The difference is during a prescribed set of hours, the nanny is being paid to take care of your child. Just like if she were being paid to answer phones as a receptionist or flip burgers. And talking on a cell phone and ignoring her work "ths child" is so not okay! Everyone needs a break. My nanny loves the park because our DCs play with other children and for once don't need her. So she sits on the bench and watches them and reads her book. I know she looks up all the time. I know if someone calls out for her, she hops up. I know the children come first. I am also fortunate because I have had the best nanny in the tri state area for 7 years! Seven!

tinka2u said...

good on you, 3:42!
The high and mighty OP seems to be against moms, doesn't she? (And, btw, congrats on your good fortune in finding such a splendid nanny!) The OP also feels she is psychic and knows the nanny sightings on this blog are embellished just to make a nanny look bad! Anyone who can read knows this sight isn't for the purpose of dogging nannies but rather, it's to report questionable nanny behavior that could lead to a child being harmed. It may not be bona fide child abuse as we think of it, which should indeed be reported promptly to the proper officials, but might be seriously incompetent enough conduct to set off red flags. Sometimes the nannies are just plain ignorant. Others are lazy, sleepy, sneaky, careless, or cluesless about children's welfare. Parents need to know about these nannies. I would want to know.

Annie said...

DCS? DH?

3:42, I think you've gone off the acronym deep end.

Anonymous said...

As a nanny, I agree that when we are on the clock the children should have our full attention, because that is what we are being paid for. A mom on the other hand can certainly take time for herself to chat on the phone etc.and still be responsible for the children.
I disagree however that because you are the mother you can not be judged. There IS such a thing as poor parenting, and when I see it, you bet I judge.
UES Nanny

Anonymous said...

12:35: how true, and well spoken.
-a mom and a childcare provider

Anonymous said...

I feel that this blog is an opinion site: the OP is entitled to her opinion, and there is alot of truth to what she says. I myself am a parent and a nanny and I see way more parents than nannies making bad choices.
I can't stand liberals: they are so "open-minded", that is, until somebody disagrees with them!

tinka2u said...

Of course the OP is entitled to her opinion, just as I have my opinion about her and her post, which hasn't budged. There are a lot more parents than nannies around and therefore, I wouldn't be surprised at all if more parents than nannies are making bad choices. But if you choose being a nanny as your "life work", shouldn't you hold yourself to a higher standard?

Anonymous said...

of course everyone is allowed and encouraged to post his or her opinion on here, but that doesn't mean others cannot disagree with them. Get it? That's the point!

sprak said...

1) Do you keep stats on nanny vs parent childcare that you observe in public? Could it be that parents outnumber nannies?
2)I'm thinking that if you read a sighting of a parent mistreating a child, you wouldn't think it was embellished as you seem to be biased. None the less, people who see true child abuse are told to report it and given the needed contact information on this blog.

Anonymous said...

As the mother of a toddler, I am familiar with the fact that when my son acts up in public, it is usually because he is overtired and cranky. I've also found the same to be true for myself. When I am snappish and impatient, it is usually because I am tired, or in need of a break.

The same is probably true for many mothers and nannies whose public conduct is less than stellar. We don't know that the child already threw six tantrums that day, that the nanny's employer has been hours late every night that week, that the mother hasn't spoken to an adult in days. No one can be perfect all the time, and spending isolated hours with little children is often trying.

There is a difference between someone who is snappish and impatient and someone whose behavior is genuinely alarming. Many of the postings on this site document genuinely abusive situations. More mothers than nannies may abuse their children, but that doesn't change the fact that an abusive nanny should be brought to her employer's attention. How else, besides this website, might someone do that?

Cheesepower said...

I can tell the difference between a SAHM who spends 80 hours a week alone with her 3 DCS while her DH travels, and a Welfare Mom who brings her 10 kids to the park and sits in the car ignoring them while they run amuck. And I will judge any parent who puts their child in danger by not properly supervising them. I use this as an example because it is something I see every day. I like this site, and have no problem judging bad nannies, but I wish there was also a place to judge bad parents. So many of them don't even deserve to be parents.

one smarmy mama said...

I am the OP, and I'm a mom of two as well as a daycare provider. I am paid to take care of kids during the day and you know what? I take care of them as if they were my own.

I take my kids to several local parks and without fail, it is the MOTHERS, 100% of the time, letting their children wander aimlessly, with no interaction, chatting on their cells or with their friends. Yes, mothers get time off, but not at the expense of our children.

I see women making comments like these all the time and they are typically privaleged white women (I am one of them) making comments against minority women. I see situations every day in which I can see how someone would perceive it one way and post about it here.

No, I don't know the story of the moms I see in the parks, just as most of the very bitter sounding contributors to this site don't know the story of the nannys they are tattling on. See how that goes both ways?

I'm not angry, I'm just saddened that we socially have slacked off so much on our parenting that we find it acceptable to make excuses for poor parenting and we leave children in situations where we feel they are in danger. It's just sad people are making excuses for that.

I think this site has the potential to be a very useful tool, and there are obviously contributions that are helpful. It just seems like the bulk are just bitter, bad moms who maybe feel guilty or something. Who knows.

And BTW it's pretty cowardly of you all to attack me anonymously like that. If you truly believed your words, maybe you'd put a name behind them.

voice of reason said...

Privileged white women do not run daycares out of their homes.

Anonymous said...

cheesepower,
may i suggest that if you see a bad mother mistreating her child and you know who she is that you call the authorities? If it is not "that major:, then why don't you throughly describe the mother, her car, her handbag, her hair and post it on here. Post it as "she could have been a nanny or she could have been a mom". Do you think it won't get posted? And for shame when that mom's friends recognize her! Maybe she will start acting right.

one smarmy mama said...

oh voice of reason.....what? yes, I'm white and upper middle class and I have all the privalege that comes with that (even though I am actually a minority, I just don't look like it). and.........I run a daycare out of my home. I don't really understand what's so weird about that.......I used to be an office professional and I missed my kids too much. Is it so hard for you to grasp that maybe I'd WANT to be with my kids all day??

:)

Anonymous said...

I disagree with the comment that "privileged white women do not run daycares out of their homes." This comment is so stupid.
I don't consider myself privilaged, exactly, (I am white) but I CHOOSE to do childcare part-time out of my home, so I can be with my baby. It was a choice. I have a degree and could be making more money at my job that I left, but I choose to do daycare since it allows me to be with my little girl. Many, many white mothers, indeed, all types of mothers, who don't have to work babysit in their homes for extra cash, socialization for their kids, and so they can be with their precious little ones. And for the ones who have to do it, good for them: they are taking care of business. It doesn't mean you are trashy if you run a home daycare: it means you are resourceful.
Gosh, some people on this board are so ignorant.

voice of reason said...

Swarmy mama identified herself as a Privileged White Woman-to which I am responded.

But let me, clarify my statement:
Privileged women of any color do not run daycares out of their homes.

one smarmy mama said...

VOR:

It's not "Swarmy" it's "SMARMY". :)

And.........why do you make that statement? Maybe you don't understand the concept of privileged? My default in our country, white people are priveleged in our society. It doesn't mean RICH or WEALTHY, it just means entitled to the priveleges that come with the color of your skin in this country. I'm not rich. If we scaled down our lifestyle, I could probably afford not to work at all, but I like things like nice shoes and dinners out so I chose to bring in income. And, yeah, I do it via daycare. :) It's actually fun. I know women who are wealthier than me who do it to and they do it for the same reason I do....to maintain the lifestyle they want, they need income but they don't want to be away from their kids. It seems logical to me.

Anonymous said...

smarmy-
spoken like a true liberal.

BLEK.

one smarmy mama said...

PROUDLY Liberal. Only republicans would try to ignore white privalege, demean minorities, and try to defend crappy parenting. :P

tinka2u said...

Hello Smarmy
So, it's the mothers 100% of the time "letting their children wander aimlessly, with no interaction, chatting on their cells or with their friends." Now that's pure BS and hogwash. One hundred per cent of the time? No wonder you think everyone embellishes their sightings on here. Liars usually are the first to accuse others of not being truthful.

Anonymous said...

I think the OP is on to something. I would add a #3 - one thing that really hurts this site is the racism and classism of the regular posters. I'm not shocked by it, but I am disappointed, and have to wonder about all the regular commentors who seek to disparage so many nannies based purely on race and class and very little on actual work performance. You are doing a real disservice to the possibile positive effects of this website, and that's sad.

Anonymous said...

anyone who is "proudly liberal" is not worth indulging in conversation, let alone argument.
Also learn to spell privilege. As a woman of privilege, I take pride in being
a) able to spell
and
b) not having to import a half dozen snotty nosed bratts in to my home in order to pay my mortgage.

Anonymous said...

1:08 you have examples of this? Please share.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what 108 is talking about. The only classism thing I see is that- okay and brace yourself, wealthier people usually employ nannies and nannies usually come from a certain class.

The regular posters ad a lot to the site. occasionally there is a random idiot butt they usually post anon

one smarmy mama said...

:( Oh, that's so sad. Seeing other people's lovely children as "snotty nosed brats".

Tina, I can only speak to my experience, but yes, I don't embelish. I live in a very affluent neighborhood and visit our three parks regularly with my daycare charges. I have an assistant with me who can attest to this........sadly, when we see children wandering around lonely, being ignored, it's always by the moms. When we see someone chatting on their cell the entire time we are there, it always turns out to be a mom. Maybe it's just rich, suburban driving republican moms? I don't really know.

I do know that I see women who are obviously nannys and they seem nice. Sometimes reserved, sometimes just sitting. But generally attentive and kind. The moms I see are taking their break and using the coral of the fenced in park as a way to ignore their kid. It's very sad! But I see that WAY more than I see bad NANNYs. It sucks, yeah, but it's the truth. :(

Anonymous said...

swarmy mama,
I don't believe much of what you say. Affluent? Since when do affluent people have in home daycares? Your resentment of mothers is clearly demonstrative of the fact that you feel inferior to them. Your resentment and jealousy is seeping through.

And there is nothing wrong with a nanny or mother letting her children run amuck in a fenced park. The problem is when the children come to or call out for the parent/nanny and the child's needs are not met.

voice of reason said...

1:45,
Calling other people's children snotty nosed bratts reminds me my own first experience with a bad nanny. There is no need for that. There are some great people (usually mothers) who run in home daycares. The difference is they don't feign affluence and project rage on to an entire board.

smarmy,
you are soooooo jelous of rich stay at home mothers. I suggest you get on medication. Quick, before you go postal on some poor SAHM who is taking a break and having a coffee and reading the paper on the coral fenced playground you frequent.

Anonymous said...

People, the point that VOR was trying to make is that when a person is referred to as privileged, it means they have money. (This meaning of privilege has nothing to do with race.) People who have money don't need to run daycares out of their homes, nor do they need to work at all, if they prefer to be at home with their children. People with money don't run daycares from their homes to make extra cash, because the small amount of money that is generated from a daycare is not worth it to a person who has money. So, that is why VOR (and others?) pointed out that privileged women don't run daycares out of their homes. Privilege, in this sense, means you have money.

The racial angle is something else entirely. Whites are indeed privileged in a racist society. But that is a different story. The point here is that the usual meaning behind a statement that someone is privileged is about money and not race.

one smarmy mama said...

Privilege in our society cannot be separated from race, unfortunately. I will say this. *I* was the first person to use that term in this conversation and when I used it, I meant WHITE PRIVILEGE. It doesn't necessarily mean your rich, it means you have certain benefits in life because you are white (or like me, perceived by society as white).

I also never said I was affluent, I said I live in an affluent neighborhood. I'm just normal middle class, but I got a lucky deal and moved into this neighborhood.

I am jealous of women who don't have to work at ALL in order to stay home with their kids, but I wouldn't exactly say I'm seething. I certainly don't have to stoop to petty personal insults in order to make my point or feel better about myself, and isn't the kind of person who would do that the kind who seems angry and seething?

I think it's just sad, that's all. It's sad that we live is such a deeply racist society. It's sad that people want to tear others down because of their race. It's sad we don't speak up more for our weakest members of society..........minority women, and children.

And while I am definitely jealous of women who don't have to work at all, I've become MUCH happier getting out of a cube at staying home with a group of adorable toddlers. Technically, yes it's work. But it's definitely nothing that would make me angry! :)

Anonymous said...

how do people irl perceive you as "white"?
I did not perceive you as white by your writing.

And when people from American ghettos go to ghettos in Uganda, they too are perceived as priviliged.
It's all relative.

Anonymous said...

One of my problems with this site is that many posters have NO IDEA what is expected of each nanny. My employers let me talk on my cell phone, plan stuff, read, and do other stuff while I am watching the children at the park/pool (they are old enough to take care of themselves mostly).

Also, in many of the posts on this site there is no way that people know if it is the mom or a nanny (or a relative). It could be a mom leaving a child in the stroller or drinking on a park bench.

I think that this site gives nannies an undeserved bad name as well as giving people a place to be unresponsible (if someone leaves a child in danger you shoudl tell someone, not report it here).

Anonymous said...

You sound like a disgruntled nanny. (4:58)

Anonymous said...

I think this sight is exactly what we, the PARENTS, need. Every one of us wonders what happens to their kids when they are gone. Is getting a nanny-cam better than hearing it from other Parents? The kids are too young to speak for themselves - why not allowing other adults to "watch over" them. I know everyone has a down moment, nannies as well... and I hope people report good and bad. But it is the bad that is really important to know. These "little things" can really scar kids for life and I hope we can all help each other by reporting the nasty things. This site is for the Parents, not Nannies that want to check if their negligence has been reported. So common! There are people here who appreciate this feedback.

DC Mom

Anonymous said...

459-I am not a "disgruntled nanny" I happen to be very happy in my job. I dislike this site though becase the people who post here are irrisponsable and assume too much

610-This site is not what the parents need. It is here to build doubt and mistrust in nannies. Not all nannies are bad and I doubt that most ot the postings on this site are completely true. Also, many nannies post sightings on this site, so it is not just for parents. Just a note-if you are using a nanny cam, please tell your nanny. If you don't trust someone enough to tell them that you are watching them, they should not be watching your children.

Anonymous said...

Let me correct myself, you sound like a sneaky and disgruntled nanny who wants to be warned of the presence of nanny cameras so she doesn't end up on ABC news 7.

What would be the point of warning a nanny about a nanny camera? So they can turn on their acting skills just like they did in their interview? Is that why you are so peeved about this site? You cannot adequately judge who at the playground might take the time to jot your details down?

I don't think nanny cameras are a good idea. You want a record of abuse for posterity's sake? Your child will surely thank you for that. Not! Best to hire the very best nanny you can and treat her kindly!

Signed,
mother of 4 who has had the same nanny for 11 years!

Anonymous said...

I just have to say, while it is not right for parents to treat their children this way, there is no way any parent would pay someone to NOT take care of their child. A nanny is paid to do a job. It does not include yelling, ignoring, or mistreating. So yes, parents do engage in bad behavior. But I sure as hell WILL persecute a nanny for bad behavior!!

Anonymous said...

1220, seek profesional help. If you come here HOPING to hear about mistreated children, you are a sad and pathetic person. It's mean of me to say this, but it's people like you that I hope become a statistic AND GET LUNG CANCER!!! Go smoke your menthols and log onto a different site!! Bloody Biatch!!!

Anonymous said...

145, your comment made me laugh!! You can spell? Well, it's "brats" not "bratts." And generally, one spells "in to" as "into." Just saying...

Anonymous said...

1:45 PM
You say you can spell, but you misspelled brats. You double the ts for bratty, the plural is brats. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Your sentence structure leaves much to be desired. Your use of indulging is bizarre. Did you perhaps mean engaging? You don't sound very well educated for someone who describes herself as privileged.
I think your description of children as snotty nosed brats says a lot about you. I pray that you are not a mother!
A Liberal

Anonymous said...

Mother of 4,

Way to turn this into a personal attack about something you don't even know about. You are passing judgement on me without knowing anything.

Warning a nanny about a camera is the same concept behind cameras in daycares. It is less of a violation of their privacy, but it lets them know that you are watching and that you will not tollerate bad behavior. If a nanny acts for the camera, all the time, that is ok (becuase the nanny would always be acting nice to the child).

I am peeved about this site because it lets anyone post, sometimes very personal attacks, about situations they know nothing about. It also lets people get around being responsible. If someone sees a child being neglected, abused, or put in danger, they should inform the authorities, not post on this site. If they see some other situation, such as the one posted above, where they don't know if the person is a nanny or mother, and they don't know what is really going on, they are just assuming, than it is just posting a personal attack.

What if the mother in this situation read this post and fired her nanny without question, when it was not alcohol in the drink? This site causes panic and mistrust in nannies. Although it is ammusing to read, it is not a good source of information, which is what I suspect many people are using it for.

rachel said...

You are berating people for posting anonymously and yet you post anonymously.

Any mother who fires her nanny without question is an idiot.

The best thing for parents is to surprise your nanny. At home. At the park. At the library. This site reminds me (employer of two part time nannies) to get to know my nannies, treat them well, communicate with them.

If you are so peeved at this site, why aggravate yourself and keep returning? I am aggravted by Ann Coulter. So I stay away from her blog.

Lorenza said...

9:24 IF a mother read the OP, recognized her nanny and fired her on the spot, she'd be pretty ignorant. It would certainly call for some very honest conversation with the nanny to get to the bottom of the story, though. There are certain things that should be reported swiftly and directly to the powers that be and that is made patently clear on this blog.

tinka2u said...

8:11, are you saying that 12:20 is a smoker? How could you know that? Anyway, what I really wanted to express is my horror at what you wished on 12:20. We don't always agree on everything on this blog, but one thing that we all have in common is our love and concern for children, and therefore, we are all in it together. I think that was the meanest comment I've read on here. Now, you don't really want that on you, do you?

Anonymous said...

12:26 -

"When you get PAID to do a job, you have to do it a certain way. You are not enitled to the perks of being a mother! I am so tired of this argument. Yes, mom can be on her cellphone & gabbing with friends. This is Mom's LIFE not her job. A nanny's job is to make the children a priority while she is on the clock. END OF DISCUSSION."

Being a MOTHER is a far more important job than being a NANNY, and being an nanny is important enough as it is. Just because you aren't paid makes no difference. It is sad that there are mothers who hold their nannies to far higher standards than they will hold to themselves. Nanny has to pay 100% attention to children but Mommy does not?!?!

Anonymous said...

dude,
any chance you are posting from a playground bench in brooklyn? I just don't understand your incoherent ramblings. What are you saying? What is it?

Your New Supervisor said...

10:12AM-
Because you are paid does make a difference. Are you insane? Because you sound completely and impossibly insane.
If a nanny is a professional, then she does her job just like any professional. Meaning the right way for her to do things is excepting breaks to which she is entitled, she is devoted to the task prescribed to her. As a nanny this would be a child. If you were in advertising, this would be a new campaign. If you were a word processor, this would be typing data into a computer. If you were a postman, this would be delivering mail. If you were an appliance repairman, this would mean repairing appliances. Anyone in any field who does not do their job right, who demonstrates a lack of drive or integrity is a bad employee. And when we are dealing with children, we must be just a little more concerned. When a surgeon makes a mistake, that's huge, when a nanny makes a mistake or an error in judgment, damn right she is going to be called on it.
I plan to supervise today at Ancient Playground in the earlier afternoon. I will offer gentle guidance, redirection and I'll be taking names.

Anonymous said...

12:26 LOL you need help. Basically you are saying moms can neglect their children because they gave birth to them LOL ohhhh goodness if I could stop laughing at you I would continue to respond to you.

I agree with you original poster, and thank you for having the sense enough to see through alot of the BS on this site!

Anonymous said...

10:54 you think the OP sees thru BS? I think she's spreading it. If you read her posts she's changed from being a mom with a nanny:


"We pay caregivers to give them the care we would if we didn't have to work or be away. We should not hold them to a higher expectation than we hold ourselves. If we can't bear to be off the phone for twenty minutes in the park, how can we expect our nanny's to?"

to a daycare provider:

"am the OP, and I'm a mom of two as well as a daycare provider. I am paid to take care of kids"

from a caucasion to a minority:

"they are typically privaleged white women (I am one of them)"
"I am actually a minority"

from being wealthy to not so wealthy:

"I'm white and upper middle class and I have all the privalege that comes with that"
"I could probably afford not to work at all"

" never said I was affluent--------. I'm just normal middle class"
"I am jealous of women who don't have to work at ALL in order to stay home with their kids"

Yeah, she can sure see thru BS!!
And you my friend, are a dumbshit.

rachel said...

1:02,
thanks for your BRILLIANT and concise summary of OP's sack of shit rant.

one smarmy mama said...

I am a former professional, now I stay at home. Thus I've both had caregivers and AM a caregiver. DUH.

I am white, as in I have white skin and people who look at me think I'm a normal white girl. My heritage, though, is that of a minority. Shocking to think, but people don't always fit into nice little labels. Just because I LOOK one way doesn't mean I AM that thing. DUH.

I am a normal middle class person. That never changed. Middle class, middle class middle class. I live in a fabulous neighborhood, only because I got a good deal. I never claimed to be WEALTHY. NEVER, you liar. DUH.

But the best thing about your attacks on my character isn't how ridiculously far reaching they are.........it's that they don't say anything to the actual points I made in my original post. And you know what? That means you have no substantive argument to what I've said. You have, in fact, VALIDATED my words, so for that I thank you.

If all you have is profanity and personal attacks, it means I made a well thought out, intelligent statement that just stumped you. So thanks.

Crystal said...

First of all why are you contradicting yourself. First of all you say how bad it is that were critisizing the babysitters and writing everything on this site, then you say that instead of writing about it, further action should be taken, and it is our responsibility to do so. For your information when a mother yells at her child that is her right, and her right only as a parent, but I swear, if I see my babysitter yelling at my child, she will probably get smacked across the face. So what I am saying is that babysitters are not there to be the parents, because a child already has that. Theyre there to watch them, take care of them, and keep them busy so they don't kill eachother. I can't begin to tell you how many times you hear on the news of babysitter throwing babies who are under a year old slamming them on the bed because they cry and they want to punish them, or babysitters hitting them, and this I actually saw with my own eyes and was IN SHOCK ! So no were not saying that babysitters are these monsterous beings, if they were we wouldn't hire them, but what I am saying is that some of them feel that if the parent is not around then they can do whatever the heck they want with the child and that parents should just be more aware of what is going on.

ms rex said...

In good conscience, swarmy mommy- I think I would someone hesitant to leave my fiance's cat with you. And I'm not a fan of cats.

You seem horribly mixed up and jaded.

Anonymous said...

I am not a parent and I will be happy to agree that many parents need parenting training. However, the nanny IS NOT A PARENT! She holds herself out as a professional and, as such, she should do a professional job during working hours. At home, I am occasionally sloppy and lazy; I do not have that option on the job - I am being paid for it. The nanny is no different and should be held to the standard of an employee, not a mother!

Anonymous said...

504 nailed it.

I think we should pitch in and get some mental help for OP. I picture her twitching and writing, unsure of where she lives or what color she is.

Anonymous said...

YOU THINK THESE STORIES ARE EMBELISHED AND YOU WORK IN THE INDUSTRY? I PERSONALLY FIRED MY NANNY AFTER SETTING UP A NANNY CAM AND SHE WAS MUCH WORSE THAN SOME OF THE THINGS I READ ON THIS SITE. WE RESEARCHED AND CHECKED HER OUT BEFORE WE HIRED HER. SHE WAS A GRRANDMOTHER AND WELL RESPECTED.
AS FAR AS HOW I TREAT MY CHILDREN IN PUBLIC; ITS THE SAME AS AT HOME, SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE PLAYING WITH THEM AND SOMETIMES I DONT, I'M HUMAN. I NEVER ABUSE MY CHILDREN THE WAY OUR FORMER NANNY DID.
I WILL TALK ON MY PHONE EVEN IF IM WITH MY CHILDREN IF I NEED TO JUST LIKE YOU DO.
DONT TRIP STEPPING OFF YOU SOAPBOX.

Anonymous said...

To all of you who claim you don't like this site- WHY ARE YOU HERE THEN?

Anonymous said...

I think this site serves a valuable function despite the occasional bickering. If I had a nanny (which I don't) I'd certainly want to know if she wasn't fulling her obligation as professional care giver to my child. The dates and locations listed in the incident entries are very helpful in narrowing down the possibilities. I wouldn't go so far as to say that 100% of the worst offenders are the actual parents, I do believe through my own personal observations that a good number are. Doesn't it make it okay for parents to abuse or neglect their children? Of course not. They can be held accountable just as easily as their caregivers if the offense is serious enough. But a parent who pays a nanny to care for a child has a legal right to expect the nanny to treat the child with the proper care. If that means that the child gets better care from the nanny than from its own parents then so be it. But the nanny offered his/her services to provide quality child care and should be held to that obigation. Having said that, they should not be expected to lose their own personal identity. Talking on the phone or chatting with friends for a reasonable time should be acceptable so long as the child is still being carefully supervised. I think its fair to say that I would expect and in fact demand better care from a paid nanny than I would from an untrained teenaged babysitter, which is why I would have hired the nanny in the first place.
I just started reading this site today and so far I'm confident that if anyone here saw an incident in which they feared for a child's safety, they would alert the authorities without hesitation. (And then they'd probably post about it here.)

Anonymous said...

Tinka2u, please re-read the statement made by 1220. Interpret as you will, but this is what I read. "When there are NO BAD NANNY SIGHTINGS, I feel much the same way I feel when I realize my pack of MENTHOLS is empty. BUMMED."

Ok, so how I interpret that. "Damn, no kids abused today. Too bad!! Guess I'll sit on my lame a@@ and smoke some more."

I do agree MOST of the people who post here do love children and want them to be safe. To me, what 1220 said is terrible, and far worse than what I wished on her. How sad to come onto this blog looking for child abuse/neglect.

And in case you don't understand, menthols are cigaretts. Disgusting habit that it is, it's even worse when done around children. I really hope 1220 has no contact with children. And if her post was typed in jest, well sorry, not funny.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was mildly amusing. Not that I come here "looking for reports of abuse". I will say that so called "good nanny sightings" fail to satisfy.

Anonymous said...

I guess I got it right! I figured 10:54 was Smarmy Mama defending herself by posting anonymously, and when I called 10:54 a dumbass for falling for Smarmy's BS, Smarmy complained about me using profanity to attack her. She's nutz. I would never allow her access to any of my children, and guess what? They're grown!!!

Anonymous said...

yeah Ole' Smarmy, the confused one! Perhaps she has a multi-personality disorder! She doesn't know that "upper middle class" is an economic label and doesn indicate that there are some $$$$$'s in the family coffer.

Anonymous said...

come back smarmy mom, we are missing your addle brained comments!

Anonymous said...

I can't even wish swarmy a Happy Mother's Day. I don't think if she KNOWS whether or not she has children or not.

Anonymous said...

I have worked as an early childhood educator for 9 years. Put your kids in daycare and stop complaining!! I have worked at Children's World, Creative Kids, Kindercare and La Petite Academy. I was the best teacher at all of these facilities and the most educated. I used positive reinforcement and redirection. I used process art rather than product art. I incorporated early literacy skills. I worked with on averge 25-30 kids by myself for 10 hours a day. (Daycares don't pay OT), and no medical at any of these places!! Daycare workers are watching the worlds children but we kids the raw end of the stick, Mcdonald's workers start out at 9.00 an hour, daycare workers start at 6.25!! :(and of course no daycare ever stays within ratio, they move kids around when licensing comes to make it look like their in ratio!!