I decided to spend the extra hour provided by ending daylight saving time this past Sunday by lying prone in my bed and watching TV. On the Hallmark channel there was a TV movie called “The Nanny Express”. The plot? A sweet, extremely pretty twenty something Nanny takes a new job for a widower with two resentful children. She falls in love with the boss, as he does with her. The children are eventually won over. Over on Lifetime, there was rerun of the old Series “The Nanny” where Fran Dresher’s character and her boss, another single Dad, are beginning to realize they have feelings for each other. Fran is wearing nothing but leggings and a push up bra when her boss noticed that there was more to her than her whiney nasal voice. Frustrated, I muted my TV and flipped on my computer. Celebitchy was reporting that “Supper Nanny” Jo Frost was quitting her TV series, hanging up her cape and getting a real life. I remember that Super Nanny show, and the carbon copies that followed it. The Nannies they featured were really smart, but so dowdy that they were practically sporting mustaches. And the cape? Sorry. The only time I wear a cape is Halloween to top off my Wonder Woman costume.I lay back on my pillows and thought about all of this for a while, this interesting way that the media pigeonholes The Nanny. We are either nubile young things intent on sleeping with our bosses, or butt ugly lonesome mares long past being put out to pasture. I tried to come up with a portrayal of a Nanny that was neither, but quickly found myself at a loss. Nanny McPhee? She’s super intelligent and insightful and resourceful but she has moles and protruding teeth. “Hand that Rocks The Cradle”? Rebecca DeMornay was a fine piece of ass but she was also psycho. In “Peter Pan” the nanny was an actual Dog. In “Mrs. Doubtfire” the nanny was a man in drag, but just ugly enough to pass as the perfect caregiver. One of my favorite actresses, Samantha Mathis played an adorable Nanny in an older movie named “Jack and Sarah.” The plot? You guessed it; she falls for the father, yet another unfortunate widower. There seem to be a lot of movies out there with the same plot. Captain Von Trapp? He gets it on with Maria, and she was studying to be a nun. I mean, seriously, does there exist a portrayal of a Nanny who is smart and adorable and totally professional in her boundaries with her employers? I could only come up with Mary Poppins. Seriously. Mary Poppins was an incredibly attractive young woman with wonderful values, a respectful relationship with her employers (even thought the Mom was sort of a dingbat and the Dad was a work obsessed absentee father) and a full life outside of work that included a really sweet blue-collar boyfriend. That’s my kind of Nanny.
Sunday afternoon, when I finally managed to stop being lazy and make it down town to Mill Valley’s annual block party, I ran into my good friend Joey. Joey is also a Nanny, and a total knockout. She might be in her fifties now, but she still has the body and face of a twenty-year-old supermodel and the sort of flowing blonde hair that makes you think of Beach Boys surfer songs.
“Hey there pretty Nanny!” She said, giving me a hug. To the man standing to her right, looking confused she said, “We’re Nannies.”
It kind of had an effect on him like she had said, “We’re strippers.”
I gave him a stern look. “It means we adore children.”
Joey added, “We’re professional women who care for children.”
He leered at us. “Well then, I wish I had children.”
Joey rolled her eyes at me and suggested we check out the music.
“Hey Joey,” I said as we walked away from the slob, “wanna hear a joke?”
“Always,” she said.
“Know what “Au Pair” mean?” I asked.
“What?” She asked.
“European Teenager with an agenda.” I said smirking, and we laughed, but I did feel a sudden remorse. I was mocking my own kind, and that was going to do nothing to change anyone’s - especially the media’s – perception of The Nanny.
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Rebecca Nelson Lubin is a writer and Nanny who resides in the San Francisco Bay Area. You may read more of her articles at http://www.abandofwives.ning.com/
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