CL-WTF?

.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Part Time Nanny (Boston)
Part-time nanny needed for post-school pickup and care for two awesome kids for about 15-20 hours/week in lovely East Cambridge home. The kids are 3.5 (girl) and almost 6 (boy), they need to be picked up around 2:30 and kept from killing each other or the dog for about 4 hours until folks get home. Keeping them from killing the dog is easy -- they're all very sweet, funny, smart, and happy to do art, read, snuggle, listen to music, or follow you around, annoying you with questions about dinosaurs, yoda, princesses and why they can't kill the dog.

You need a driver's license, although not a car; you need a sense of humor and creativity, and the ability to prepare dinner, do some laundry and other kid-centric light housework, and keep them away from poisonous stuff.

This is a good gig for a grad student or part-time professional who wants some fun, love, humor and laundry in their life. Firemen would also be welcome. The house is nice, the kids are nice, the parents and the dog are fairly neurosis-free and we'd all love to meet you. Scheduling interviews now -- job starts in Dec./Jan., although early get-to-know-you babysitting sessions will be a good idea. Please, no freaks or drunks.
URL: http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/kid/2015869550.html
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2) Babysitter required for very poorly behaved little boy (California)
Must be comfortable administering spankings.
Please send qualifications. Thank you.
URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/dmg/2012529926.html
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3) Babysitter needed tonight from 7:30pm-10:00pm (Portland)
Hello! My partner and I are looking for a sitter for tonight from 7:30 PM-10:00 PM so we can have a night out. We have a 3 year old daughter, who is very well behaved, and will go to bed at 8:30 PM. We live in the La Salle apartments off of Murray and Millikan in Beaverton. If you are interested, please send me an email with your contact information. Also, please explain what type of experience you have in childcare. We would also prefer that you are CPR and First Aid Certified. Mature teenagers are okay as well. We have cable TV and wireless internet, so feel free to surf the web or watch TV once she is asleep. My partner and I would like to find someone who will want to babysit for us in the future as well. (AT LEAST 2 times a month so we can have date nights. Please include what you charge in your email. I look forward to hearing from you!
URL: http://portland.craigslist.org/wsc/kid/2019722293.html
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4) Get paid/watch TV/Homework/while baby sleeps (Seattle)
Please only respond if you live with in close proximity to Madison Park. I am looking for someone who has a resume of parents they have worked with in the area. Our daughter is not yet one and is a really good sleeper. She goes to bed at 7pm and you may not see her except on her video monitor. On the chance she wakes up there could be a dipper change and a small amount of milk puts her back to sleep. This would be rare. Please email your resume and I will call you. Thanks
URL: http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/dmg/2020898873.html
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5) Please read ASAP (Milwaukee)
(Thanks to our lovely molesters and pedophiles out there, it's hard for SOME of us REAL Male Child-Care Providers to get a job. PLEASE families, take the time to consider me! I've worked with numerous families in the Milwaukee areas of Wisconsin and Layton, Utah, and they all love me! Please email me for my resume and references, and call them. Nothing is worse than having your resume looked at without a verification on references. Families, Daycares, Childcare Facilites, Clinics, PLEASE email me ASAP!!)
- 21 year old Child-Care Provider with 8 years of experience.
- Full or Part Time Child Care position ASAP! (This includes Late Nights, Overnights, and Early Mornings)
- Drivers License, CPR/FIRST AID
- Background and Transportation Check
- Experienced with Behavioral Needs Children

About me:
- Outgoing
- Fun
- Reliable
- Dependable
- Honest
- Hard-working
- Sense of Humor
- Organized
Hobbies:
- Arts and Crafts
- Acting
- Singing
- Reading
- Homework Help/Tutoring
- Games and Activites (Video, Board, Computer, etc)
- Sports
- Swimming
- Outdoor Fun and Adventure
FYI - I'm not currently experienced with newborns, but hope to be in the future!

Salary: NEGOTIABLE! ($6 - $20 an hour)
Contact:
(via email) or call my cell; (262) 342-****. (Don't hesitate to call, my phone is on 24/7... unless the bill has to be paid.)
I look forward toward your replies! Thanks! Erik
URL: http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/kid/2015076416.html
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6) Nanny Needed (North Carolina)
Seeking live in Nanny - I am seekign someone that is willing to be a live in nanny. You need to be good with kids and good with making the boss happy. Reply for more info
URL: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/dmg/2019303838.html
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7) im in need of childcare asap (Norfolk)
Im in need of childcare asap it will only be for tomorrow. I have 2 wonderful children I have a 2 year old son and a 5 month old daughter. My normal babysitter is pregnant and is being induced tomorrow. So for now I just need tomorrow so that I can go to work and I will be looking for a full time sitter. Please please if you can do it tomorrow I would much appreciate it you will be an absolute God send to me.
URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/2017097278.html
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8) Get an American Nanny! (Seattle)
American jobs are being outsourced at an alarming rate. Just because an Au Pair might be cheaper doesn't mean they are better. Get an AMERICAN to watch your kids. Small, non-school aged children don't need to learn another language before they master their own. When they start school they can learn to speak another language. There are many women in the US that are qualified to be a nanny that charge about the same amount without paying all the fees and then you don't have to pay to feed them while they live in your home. Why pay the government fees when you can have a nanny come to your home for $200 a week? That's how much I charge for the one child I am watching. When fathers all over the US are losing their jobs there are plenty of moms that would love to become a nanny to help keep a roof over their heads.
URL: http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/kid/2010962054.html
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9) Looking for care a couple hours on Halloween night (Tulsa)
Looking for care for a five yr old girl for a couple of hours Halloween night.

I will be coming from out of town so I won't be able to interview you until the weekend of Halloween.

Would LOVE it if you were watching other kids that same night or had a few of your own so that way my daughter feels at home.

Thinking of dropping her off anywhere between 6pm-8pm and picking her up around midnight-1am.

Going to an event where set times aren't available yet.

Let me know if you're available.

Thanks!
URL: http://tulsa.craigslist.org/kid/2014045769.html
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10) mom of 2 needs childcare tonight (Phoenix)
I am a mom of two and am looking for someone to watch my 2 kids in my house so if you are a teen looking to make a little extra cash give me a call 928-221-**** I need a night out its been a while and if all works well I may use you again and more often. when i get chances to go out. My name is tina and i hope to hear from you
URL: http://phoenix.craigslist.org/evl/kid/2020785289.html
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11) Looking for childcare for my daughter (North Carolina)
I AM LOOKING FOR A RESPONSIBLE, RELIABLE BABYSITTER WITH AN OPEN MIND THAT IS ABLE TO TEACH MY CHILD VARIOUS THINGS SUCH AS ABS'S 123, TAKE HER OUT FOR A WALK READ TO HER. SHE IS A VERY HAPPY 9 MONTH OLD BABY. SALARY COMES WITH EXPERIENCE. MY REQUIREMENTS ARE: CPR CERTIFIED 3 OR OR MORE LEGAL REFERENCES EXPIERENCED WITH PREEMIES CRIMINAL AND DRUG BACKGROUND CHECK REQUIRED NANNY CAM ON MY PREMISES CLEAN DRIVERS LICENSE AND HAVE OWN TRANSPOTATION CHILDCARE WILL BE PROVIDED IN MY HOME IF YOU HAVE THE EXPIERENCE AND ACCEPT MY REQUIREMENTS, THEN REPLY TO THIS AD TO SETUP AND INTERVIEW. IF NOT PLEASE DO NOT REPLY AND WASTE MY TIME. THANKS MARIA
URL: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/kid/2011272426.html
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12) Seeking PT nanny for discounted Rent of 2/2 furnished Apt (California)
WHAT WE HAVE TO OFFER: We own a beautifully furnished 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom loft in Potrero Hill. The live/work loft has three levels, two entrances, secured parking, in unit laundry, and designer furnishings. There are two Western-facing patios that offer lots of light. The location is convenient for communicating (close to Highway 280, but without the noise) and is close to public transportation (the T stops outside and CalTrain is a few blocks away). The loft is walking distance to the UCSF Mission Bay campus. We're currently seeking a renter for $3400 per month. We'd be willing to accept $2000 per month in exchange for part-time nanny services.
WHAT WE WANT: We would love to find a part-time nanny to help care for our 5-month-old daughter. She is quiet and well-behaved. We live in SOMA, which is a short commute from the loft. Dad works full-time but gets home by 7pm each night. Mom works part-time, mostly from home. We're seeking a nanny would would want to work about 20 hours per week during the weekdays. Most of the time, the hours would be quite flexible, though there would be some days, arranged in advance, where a full day of care would be needed. We would expect a loving person to help feed, change, and play with our daughter. We are NOT seeking a cook, house cleaner, etc. Child care would take place in our home or out and about in San Francisco; the loft would be your place of residence, not a part-time day care.
URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/dmg/2011080889.html
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13) Babysitter needed ASAP (Minneapolis)
Our family moved here from Pennsylvania earlier this year and haven't taken the time to find a babysitter here as of yet. I know that it is EXTREMELY last minute, but I was hoping to find a babysitter for tonight. After tonight, we would need a babysitter occasionally on a Friday or Saturday night. Probably from 8 or 9 in the evening until 2 or 3 am. We would like to find someone with their own transportation, but we may be able to provide transportation if needed.
We have a son that just turned 4 in August and we have a daughter that will be 2 this Christmas Eve. They will both be in bed when we leave. On rare occasions they will wake up for one reason or another, but will go back to sleep. Our daughter is still in diapers, so if she wakes up, she may need to be changed. Other than that, we just need someone here with them. We are hoping to find someone that could do this for $7 an hour. We are not sure of the going rate these days, but since both kids would be sleeping, we hope this is fair.
We are non-smokers and would prefer someone that doesn't smoke as well, but will consider a smoker providing that there is no smoking in our home.
Please let me know if there's anything I forgot. I am rushing and am sure I missed something. If you are interested in babysitting for us and are unable to do so tonight, please feel free to still contact me as we are still in need of a babysitter for other date nights.
Thanks so much and I look forward to hearing from you :) Also, if you are able to babysit tonight, then please include a phone number in your response so that I can reach you.
URL: http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/dak/kid/2018558396.html
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14) Spanish speaking nanny wanted (Norfolk)
Looking for a GREAT nanny to provide care for our 17 month old child.
We speak Spanish and English and would like our child to continue being exposed to Spanish, so if you are Spanish speaking that is a plus.
Daily task will include:
Cooking dinner for a family of 5
Cleaning of home
Care of child
You must have reliable transportation to and from home. (Great Bridge area of Chesapeake)
Please reply by email
URL: flagged

* Response from angry CL readers:

15) RE: Spanish speaking nanny wanted (Norfolk)
I've been both a nanny and a housekeeper - NEVER both at the same time. Sounds like you need a maid that will watch the kids when they get home from school. I bet you are one of the "we won't pay you more than $8 for your time" people too. If you COULD pay well, you would be able to hire a nanny and a house keeper!
For those considering this job - take NO LESS than $15 an hour - I'd shoot for more since you have to be bi-lingual and cook for 5.
URL: flagged

16) RE: Spanish speaking nanny wanted (Norfolk)
Cooking for the family (the parents) and cleaning the home are NOT the responsibilities of a NANNY. That is a totally different profession. A NANNY will cook and clean up after herself and the child(ren) she is caring for.
What an ABSURD request! Would you ask your housekeeper to be your nanny? What about asking your gardener to give your car a tune up? You're trying to take advantage of people, because the economy is rough and it's disgusting.
I hope your nanny steals your pearls and screws your husband.
URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/dmg/2013305702.html
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.... HOW MUCH?!

17) Cheap nice young babysitter (Las Vegas)
I'm 17 years old but I'm married my husband is 18 and I love kids I will babysit any kid under the age of 12 I'm a very nice person i know how to take care of babies and kids i have took care of kids a lot in my life please do not call me and ask me for the prices because i already wrote them down please call karina at 702 772**** or 431 **** ext 30**

0-11 months old : hr $15 , full day $65 , past midnight $ 10 hr
(more then 5 hrs will be counted as a full day, )
1yr-8yrs old : hr $ 16 , full day $ 75 , past midnight $ 11hr
9yrs-12yrs old : $18 , full day $ 85 , past midnight $ 12hr
URL: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/kid/2019222008.html
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18) Need babysitter asap! (Las Vegas)
I am new to Las Vegas & just Accepted a Job offer. I start with Orientation on 10/25/2010. I need a Baby Sitter for Monday 10/25/2010 from about 6:30 am till 5pm 6ish that day. I will pay 20-30 dollars for the day. After that I am scheduled for trainind & will need a sitter for 2 weeks form 6am till about 7pm..(will negotiate pay for that time)give or take a the bus system. Training is from 8am till 430 pm. Either you come to my place, Which is a Gated secure community, Swimming pool, CVS & Resturants near by, You will have access to tv & free local calls in my place. Or If you are near lakemead & towncenter rd I can bring my son to you. Please Email me or feel free to contact me at 702-733-**** ext 31**.
URL: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/kid/2020090382.html
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19) Nanny needed immediately (D.C.)
Hi,
I need an experienced mature nanny who will also do housekeeping as soon as possible. I have a 5, 10, 12 and 13 year old.
The 10, 11 & 13 year olds are in school so the primary care is for the 5 who goes to school half day. Duties include preparing the 5
year old for kindergarten, cleaning the house and doing laundry. The 5 and 10 year old come back from school at 2:45pm.
this is a longterm position and I'm looking for someone who wants to be part of the family. This is a Monday through Friday position
with some flexibility. Thursdays & Fridays are 8 to 4pm. There is a lot of down time when the children are at school.
I compensate $200 per week plus room and board (if you prefer).
If interested pls respond to this e-mail.
URL: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/kid/2015839989.html
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20) Seeking a caring and trustworthy nanny (California)
Greetings,
We are currently on the lookout for a caring nanny full of energy for our soon to be 16 month old son (potty assistance will be needed) and our daughter who is in 3rd grade. We would like to find someone who is responsible, caring, and loving and doesn't mind a background check. Being in the Elk Grove area is preferable and we are located near I-5. It would be nice to have someone who has worked with infants/toddlers in the past and preferably someone who has worked at the preschool/elementary level, someone who has ECE units, and/or experience in child development and is willing to entice our little ones and help out with homework. They won't mind running light errands, helping out with light housework, and prepping meals/snacks. Our daughter is pretty self-sufficient and is in school the majority of the time except for when she is off-track. We are seeking someone who can put in approximately 10 hours per day and who has a degree of flexibility with their hours.

We look forward to hearing from you soon. Rates are negotiable depending on experience ($100/week to $150/week). We need someone who is willing to sign a contract for a year, since stability is important. Hours of availability should be from 6:00 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. and beyond we can discuss in person.

It would be nice to have someone who is multilingual (English, Hindi, Punjabi, Spanish, etc.). We love learning new cultural languages. If this opportunity seems like something you might be interested in, please send me an e-mail.
URL: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/kid/2018793490.html
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21) Need flexible babysitter (Madison)
I am currently a college student and I need someone to be there for my kids in my home while I am away. My schedule is as follows until the December.

Mondays 5:30pm-9:50pm

Tuesdays 9:50am-12:50pm

Thursdays 9:50AM-12:50PM, 5:00pm- 9:55pm

Schedule will change when new quarters start. I need someone who may be able to come early some days so I can attend school meetings/labs/etc. I prefer the kids be watched in my house that way all of their supplies is here and they can stay on there routines. I was paying my current babysitter $25.00 per day she worked. (flat rate) I am willing to pay $8.00. I need someone as soon as possible. Please email me if interested. rculrich802@****. I need someone as soon as possible so please email with questions, references, and pay request
URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/2019555648.html
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22) Nanny needed (Las Vegas)
Looking for a dependable, honest and trustworthy nanny to take care of our 10 month old boy and 3 year old girl. Our 3 year old is in school 3 full days a week, so some of the time you will only have the baby. We will need someone Monday - Friday (approximately 6 am - 7 pm). This is a full-time position. We need someone who is active and willing to play, take the kids on walks, play at the playground, etc. English speaking is a must. Bi-lingual is great too. Must have own transportation to and from our home. Keeping play area picked up, light housekeeping, dishes, kids laundry, etc. This is not a short term position. We are looking for someone to be with us to maintain continuity for our kids. Must be good with dogs - we have 3 large, good natured dogs. Salary of $350 per week. Looking for someone to start immediately. Serious inquiries only please.
URL: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/kid/2020464371.html
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23) I need a babysitter, please help (Michigan)
I need a caregiver to a 3 yr old child. You must be caring, kind, have experience and references. My situation is I am a 56 year old woman. I have adopted a child and I make 25$ a week too much to qualify for free childcare, so I cannot pay much. I would be able to afford between 100-125 per week for you to watch my child mostly from 730 AM until 430 PM 5 days per week. My child is very kind and sweet and fun to be around. My child is not bad although willful on occasion. If you are interested you will need references, please provide them with your response to this AD.
URL: http://grandrapids.craigslist.org/etc/2004183047.html
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24) Need babysitter for my 2 yo daughter (Portland)
Hello Everyone,
My name is Kristiana, and I am going back to work. I live off of Mclughlin Blvd and Roethe Rd in milwaukie. I need someone starting about a week from now, probably part time evenings approx 6 Hrs, your house or mine to babysit my daughter. My baby girl nevaeh is 2yrs old, a sweetheart!!! half-way potty trained-still working on that! she is very picky and so am I, but if you think this sounds like a possible job for you please call me at 503-960-****.
Rules:
* must be over 18
* must be willing to be active and take her places
* must be willing to come for an interview
* sorry but NO MEN! this position is only offered to women...
20$ a day for five days, cash every 2 wks!
URL: http://portland.craigslist.org/clc/dmg/1997863704.html
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25) Flexible Nanny needed for Retail Mom (Seattle)
I am looking for a flexible nanny for my 2 year old daughter, who is potty trained. I work retail, and during the holidays my hours can be a little crazy (however you would always have your schedule 2 weeks in advance). The care would be in my home, but would be ok with you taking her on errands while you are watching her. The only housework I would ask of you would be to help clean up after my daughter (no other dishes, laundry, or house work would be asked of you). I would like to find someone who doesn't have children, who is at least 18 and has CPR/First Aid training. I am looking to pay $6 an hour, and start in November. If this sounds like it would be a good fit then I would LOVE to hear from you.
URL: http://seattle.craigslist.org/kit/kid/2020714775.html
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26) Part time sitter (Portland)
Here is what we are looking for:
A qualified sitter to help watch one child from 3 pm till 11 pm twice a week. Some days will not be full 8 hours because we might get home earlier than 11:00. Child goes to bed around 8:00 after which you can watch TV, do homework etc… while listening to the monitor. Absolutely no guests!!! We live near I-5 and 39th St. in Vancouver and you must be able to show up on time.
We are offering $8.00 an hour for your first 50 hours and then salary could increase to as much as $9.50 an hour depending on how you babysat in the 50 hour period. We want to pay a great sitter $9.50.
The application is simple. Just answer the following 10 questions and email them to me along with your.
A. Full name and contact phone number.
B. Work History.
C. Work Reference phone numbers (3)
D. Any personal references or other thoughts that you want to include.
We will review all submissions that come in to us in the next two weeks and on October 15th we will be calling the applicants that will be interviewed. If we do not call you, we are sorry and we appreciate the time that you spent on the application and we wish you the very best of luck.
Thanks
Sam
1. What do you think children like best about you?
2. What kinds of activities would you do with an 18 month to 2 year old?
3. Can you give me some examples of problems you have had with kids and
how you handled them?
4. What would you say is your discipline style? Can you give me some
examples of when you would need to use discipline with a one and a half year
old child and a 3 year old child?
5. What do you consider to be your most important responsibility in this
job?
6. At what point would you call a pediatrician or 911? Have you ever
had to handle an emergency? How did you handle it?
7. Do you have any health related problems that would prevent you from doing
this job?
8. How do you feel about performing light housekeeping?
9. What do you like to do in your spare time… hobbies, activities?
10. What do you think a typical day is like with an 18 month to 2 year old child?
URL: http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/dmg/1984600766.html
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27) Nanny needed in December (North Carolina)
We are looking for a Nanny to care for our daughter. The position would start at the end of December or early January. We are a laid back family with three dogs and a cat. Looking for someone that is CPR/First Aid Certified. I currently work from home about 85% of the time, but my job does require occasional daily travel and for those days your scheduled would be 7:30-6:00, but many other days when I am done working early you are too :) Not looking for anyone to do laundry etc. only pick up from the day and take care of our little girl. If you are interested please email me your resume along with salary requirements. We are looking to pay in the range of $175-$200 a week either salary or an hourly rate. Willing to consider other mom's with children that would bring their child with them to our house to care for our daughter. Serious applicants only.
URL: http://raleigh.craigslist.org/kid/2019426204.html
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28) Seeking college student late at night (Portland)
Seeking sitter 2 nights per week (sometimes 3), starting around 4 and going until very late. Hours vary from 3PM-2AM, although its usually about 3:30-Midnight.
Need someone to be able to fix dinner (nothing fancy), do bath/bedtime with my 4 yr old daughter and then be at our place while she sleeps and I am at work.
There is no TV but you can watch movies on the computer and I am fine with anyone using the computer and printer for school/work stuff.
Pay is $30/day.
We like to be active and am fine with you two doing daytime outings (zoo, park, library, etc). Also, I am down to earth and realistic so can be flexible/open-minded about life. :-) Text or email if interested. Thanks! Meliah 503.752.****
URL: http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/kid/2020111905.html
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29) Babysitter or Nanny needed ASAP (Seattle)
Looking for a warm, caring babysitter or nanny preferably knowing Urdu or Arabic, or an experienced infant teacher to care for my 4mth old baby from 8:30am-3pm mon-fri at cherry and 25th. He is an easy baby and I will also be across the room should any problem arise. Job starts asap until June. Pay is 400-425 per month. Please call 773.383.****
URL: http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/dmg/2020312125.html

* Response from angry CL reader:

30) RE: Babysitter or Nanny needed ASAP (Seattle)
You do realize you are offering a whopping $3 an hour ($400 per month for 32.5 hours per week) for this gig, don't you ? Nanny's are going for $15/hr currently... You must have meant $400 per WEEK, right? Not sure if $3 an hour qualifies as PAY...
URL: http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/dmg/2020441390.html
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Special Thanks to jessicamparra for our very funny Feature! Also, to the following Contributors: noenanny, mbargielski, emjoyneely, MissMannah, nc, hijabiniqaabi, Cinder38 and MissDee... thank you for a job well done! Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. Don't forget to include the Links and the Body of the text, if possible!

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