CL-WTF?

Saturday, August 8, 2009


.... WHAT?!

Feature Ad in Childcare Section of CL:
1) ^^Help Me Please Someone^^ Desperate (New York)
Everyday I am looking for work and I can’t find any. What should I do? Should I start selling my organs, limbs and so on? Does anyone know how much I can get for a kidney? I tried Ebay and apparently it’s prohibited there. I will throw in a pair of lungs at this point to sweeten the pot. Or do you think I could resort to the world’s oldest profession? Oh, I don’t know, I think I may be allergic to STDs. What about selling crack? Does anyone know where I can find a used bullet proof vest? Or does anyone have re-runs of the tv show cops or America’s most wanted so I can brush up on my skills and know what to expect? Or better yet, do you think I could rob someone? Does anyone know where the wealthy neighborhoods are and the best time to try this? I don’t think rush hour is such a good time but hey, that’s just me. What do you think? Pan handling, that’s right, I will pan handle. Any suggestions on the best intersections or organizations to pan handle in front of? Any suggestions on attire? I don’t want to seem too needy. Plus I hear that the next few days will really be scorchers. Any suggestions you have will be really appreciated. I am really hungry right now so it may take me a while to crawl to the computer to reply.
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brx/kid/1307969501.html
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2) Needing Someone to Watch my Daycare Kids Tomorrow Morning (2 hrs) (Va.)
Hi, I am currently needing someone to come to my house tomorrow at 9:45am to watch my daycare children while I go to a dr appt. It will be at the longest 2 hours. I am 4 1/2 months pregnant and I have someone that usually watches them but she is unable to make it tomorrow. My dr appt is at 10:40am but I would need you here no later than 9:50am because it take 30 minutes to drive there.The childrens ages range from 3 months to 3 years. Experience with children is required. They are all good kids and won't give you any trouble. Pay will be more than fair for the hours you are here for. If you are interested and possibly watching my kids for my other dr appts please let me know cause like this time I'm needing back up for my back up lol. If you have children of your own they are more than welcome to come with you. Please email me asap so we can meet this evening so you will be ready for tomorrow :) I get email alerts on my phone so I will email back quickly. Thanks!
Original URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/1302211993.html
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3) Help I need Childcare on 8/1 (Detroit)
I am looking for a very last minute babysitter, my usual one had to call off just now due to an emergency. I live in South Lyon and work in Howell. I need someone for tomarrow Saturday from 5:15 am - about 10am. 2 kids 5 and 3 can be at your house or mine. If at mine the kids usually sleep till 9:30 so you could just hang out. I know this is probably never going to work but if by chance you are available it would be great. I only have $25 cash to pay someone as I usually only pay my sitter biweekly when i get paid which ain't till next week. Thanks for reading this.
Original URL: http://detroit.craigslist.org/okl/kid/1299264323.html
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4) FT Live-in House Manager?? (Illinois)
Nanny doesn't describe it/Housekeeper isn't correct either. A working mother (doctor) of 3 needs a competent helper to love and care for the children when I can't be there, cook meals, some shopping, laundry, cleaning and basically helping me run the household. Depending on the skills and desires of our future helper -the job responsibilities could change. Dad works long hours downtown, children are 5+, 3, & 6mo. Live-in is a must due to the 'on call' responsibilities of mom's work. Applicants must realize that flexibility and committment to our family is the job. Ideal candidate is someone that benefits from the live-in arrangement also. Room -large w/full private bath/board/car/gym membership etc...provided is part of the compensation and allows you to save your salary for other things.
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwc/kid/1308681350.html
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5) Looking for cheap daycare here ya go!!!!!!!! (Detroit)
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A SITTER WHO HAS OVER 20 YEARS EXPERIENCE WITH CHILDREN OF ALL AGES? MY NAME IS HEATHER I LIVE IN REDFORD MICHIGAN. I WILL BE STRAIGHT OUT AN HONEST WE ARE A SAME SEX FAMILY WE HAVE TWIN 9 YEAR OLD BOYS. ME AND MY PARTNER HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALMOST 6 YEARS WE ARE DISCREET WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP AND DISPLAY NO KIND OF AFFECTION TOWARD ONE ANOTHER WHEN I AM CARING FOR OTHER PEOPLES CHILDREN. WE KEEP OUR HOME CLEAN AND I HAVE PLENTY OF TOYS FOR ALL AGES. I HAVE ACTIVITIES CRAFTS ETC. I AM AUTHORIZED BY THE STATE AS A CHILD CARE PROVIDER I DO ALWAYS CARRY MY CHILD PROVIDER ID NUMBER. I TAUGHT OUR CHILDREN PRE K AND IF NEEDED I HAVE THE MATERIALS TO TEACH YOUR CHILD ALSO , I DO ALWAYS TRY TO IN VOLVE SOME EDUCTIONAL ACTIVITIES EVERYDAY. WE DO HAVE V SMILE AND A WII ALSO WE HAVE EDUCATIONAL GANES THE KIDS ENJOY! THERE IS NEVER A DULL MOMENT IN OUR HOME. AND IF THE WEATHER IS NICE WE ARE ALWAYS OUTDOORS. WE HAVE BEEN VERY FORTUNATE TO HAVE BEEN TOTALLY ACCEPTED IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD AND ALWAYS HAVE CHILDREN PLAYING IN OUR YARD. IM NOT YOUR NORMAL EVERYDAY NANNY IM A BIG GIRL WITH KINDA SPIKEY HAIR BUT ALL THE CHILDREN LOVE ME. IM AT HOME NOW DUE TO A BACK INJURY AT WORK . I HAVE BEEN A STAY AT HOME MOM FOR 4 YEARS AND I LOVE IT. I HAVE A LOT OF FUN WITH THE KIDS I INTERACT WITH THEM I PLAY GAMES WITH THEM WE HAVE ALL KINDS OF OUTDOOR TOYS AND RIDING EQIPMENT LIKE BIKES AND SCOOTERS . I CREATE A SAFE ENVIROMENT IM ON ALERT AT ALL TIMES, IF YOU WANT YOUR CHILD TO BE IN a SAFE ENVIROMENT AT ALL TIMES AND TREATED LIKE YOU YOURSELF WOULD TREAT THEM THEN IM YOUR GIRL!!! I BELIEVE IN POP IN VISITS AND YOU CAN MAKE THEM WHENEVER YOU WANT TO DO SO!!! I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH REFRENCES I HAVE EXCELLENT ONES. IM HONEST AND CHILDREN BRIGHTEN MY LIFE IN SO MANY WAYS. OUR BOYS ARE VERY CARING AND LOVING AND INTERACT VERY WELL WITH CHILDREN AND INFANTS. MY PARTNER IS A WONDERFUL MOTHER AND WOULD LOVE TO MEET AND INTERACT WITH THE CHILDREN HERSELF WHEN SHE COMES HOME FOR WORK. YOU WILL BE MEETING HER ALSO. I PROVIDE ALL MEALS. YOU MUST PROVIDE ALL TRANSPORTATION, WE HAVE ONE VEHICLE AND MY PARTNER HAS A FULL TIME JOB. I HAVE A FLEXABLE SKEDULE I AM AVAILABLE 7 DAYS A WEEK I LOVE MY WEEKENDS BUT I AM WILLING TO HELP IF NEED BE. I CHARGE 20 A DAY PER CHILD I DO GIVE A DISCOUNT FOR 2 CHILDREN THAT INCLUDES THEIR MEALS AND SNACKS UNLESS YOU PROVIDE THEM YOURSELF . I ALSO DO SUMMER KIDS WHO GO TO SCHOOL BUT NEED CARE FOR THE SUMMER . if you are interested please call MY CELL IS 313 820 **** MY EMAIL IS atlast2836@**** thank you have a blessed day.
Original URL: http://detroit.craigslist.org/wyn/kid/1300558041.html
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6) need a baby sister? (Minnesota)
Looking for a baby sister in the Winona/Centerville area? Look no further! I am available nights and weekends. I love kids, i have a neice and 2 nephews that i watch often. I live in Centerville so i can do Trempealeau, Winona, Fountain City area. Give me a call if you need someone! 765-438-****.
Original URL: http://lacrosse.craigslist.org/kid/1263821544.html
(Note from MPP: Good Catch, Suzanne! I had to read it twice to find what was wrong!)
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7) Discussion Group for Radical/Liberal/Progressive Nannies! (Madison)
Do you pay your bills raising the children of the wealthy? Does working for a family of (apply any of the following) white/hetero/upper-classs/privileged/college educated people drive you completely insane? Do you find yourself fluctuating between gratitude for your job, affection for the child(ren) and resentment for your rich employers? Do you cringe when they refer to you as a "member of the family," assume you have no personal life or expect you to spoil their children just like they do? Do they manipulate your contract or refuse to even give you one? Do they treat you like a babysitter even though you know more about their kids than they do? Do you find there is a peculiar power dynamic of working inside your boss' home that your friends who work other jobs just don't understand? If so, would you like to join a very casual group of other progressive nannies and caregivers to talk, share strategies and lend support? This group is currently in the planning stages; once we reach some kind of critical mass we can find a time to meet at a coffee shop or some other location. Contact via e-mail.
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1306448011.html
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8) Babysitter Needed - days (Denver)
Need a teenager to help child sit a 9 year old from approximately 1030-530, for the rest of this week (Wed and Thur) and the first part of next week (Mon, Tue, Wed). Kid is self sufficient--needing someone to monitor his grounding. Looking for someone that is honest (as it will be in our home) and trustworthy. Please reply via email--would need to do interview tonight, if you are interested. Thanks!
Original URL: http://denver.craigslist.org/kid/1305870552.html
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9) Male Babysitting Bodyguard (Union Square) (New York)
As an experienced martial artist and babysitter I can make sure your children (toddlers - 10 yrs old) stay safe along with helping them with homework reading and writing. Keeping them active and having fun. More information and references available on request. 917-753-****
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/kid/1304987318.html
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10) need for tomarrow (Houston)
I need childcare for my two children in my home or yours on 8-8-09 from the hours of 3pm till 11pm. I have a 2 1/2 year old boy and a 18 month old girl. If the care is done in my home you may bring a slibling or your own child. I want a flat rate not a by the hour rate. LIST YOUR RATE
Original URL: http://houston.craigslist.org/dmg/1311787107.html
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11) i need a babysitter to come to my home (New York)
i need someone to come to my home,just to watch my some for a few hrs maybe twice a week.he is 7 yrs old.all you have to do is sit and use the internet and watch him.will pay 6.50 an hr.this good for a high school student,must be 16yrs and older.
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brx/dmg/1295063588.html
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12) I need a babysitter (Texas)
Hi. I need a babysitter for tomorrow... Thursday the 30th of July, and also Saturday august 1. i would need you from 4pm to around 2am tomorrow and 6 or 7pm to around 2am on saturday. My daughter is 4 months old and really is a sweetheart. I am willing to pay $70 for each night. please email me if you are interested. I would love someone with a bit of prior experience but it isnt necessary. Thank you. tegan.rich @**** tegan
Original URL: http://austin.craigslist.org/dmg/1296328423.html
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13) Babysitter needed this weekend and some more weekends (Indiana)
Hello- I am need of a sitter for my two year old this weekend (the whole weekend overnights and probably more weekends). I can drop her off at your location. I was looking for a sitter preferrebly in the NWI area or South Chicagoland area. She is not a problem child, just really shy and quiet. I wanted to just get out of the house and get some adult fresh air. If interested, please send me references (2-3 are fine) and your rates and if you can do the job this weekend, please call me (and everything checks out good), 773-849-****. Thank you!
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/kid/1310158667.html

*Response from angry CL reader:

14) Childcare needed in Griffith this weekend (Indiana)
With all the terrible things that have gone on with Craigslist and elsewhere and the death of little Jada recently --- how in the world can you pass off your 2 year old daughter to someone you don't know..to get "adult fresh air." Maybe you should have thought about that BEFORE having a child...I hope your little girl is safe with whomever you choose to dump her off on and that GOD will be watching over her..what a dirty SHAME!!! and maybe you need parenting lessons!!! Wish I could report you to family services! - A concerned GRANDMA
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/kid/1310370722.html
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.... HOW MUCH?!

15) Childcare needed for 6 year old boy (Austin)
Hi, I live in Taylor Tx and I am a single mother of a wonderful 6 year old boy. I have not been able to find a sitter for him when I go out. I have strongly relied on my parents on the evening and they are getting worn out due to their own busy schedule. They feel like I'm using them to care for him too much. I like to go out with my boyfriend once or twice a week, typically Friday and/or Saturday. I am looking for someone in the Taylor/Hutto/Round Rock area that I could meet and get a few references from, that would be willing to watch him in their home during the nights I go out. The job will pay about $30 per night. Sometimes it maybe through the next morning at 9ish or I may pick him up around 2am. If you're interested in doing this, e-mail me.
Original URL: http://austin.craigslist.org/kid/1305266585.html
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16) Part-Time Nanny Needed - West Chicago (Chicago)
After school in home childcare wanted starting Aug. 26th for two children ages 5 and 7 in our home in West Chicago. Kindergartner will arrive home around 11 a.m. on the bus. 2nd grader will arrive home around 3 p.m. on the bus. Looking for someone to help with homework and provide fun activities such as walks, riding bikes, playing. Occasional after school activity to pick up from such as Brownies. I arrive home by about 5:15 p.m. References will be required. $125-$150/week. If interested please contact Melissa on cell at 847-791-****.
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/kid/1308215629.html
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17) childcare needed (Chicago)
Hi, we are looking for a reliable, caring, responsible mom or grandma to care for our 2 darlings in your home. Our children's ages are 1 1/2 and 3 1/2. Must be willing to provide background check and references upon request. We are looking for part time to possible full time. I am willing to pay $125.00 week for full time / 9:00 to 4:00. If interrested, please email me, thanks in advance. Serious inquires only, please. Have a happy day!!
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/kid/1309358781.html
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18) Tuesday/Thursday Nanny Needed (Chicago)
We are looking for a trustworthy, reliable and energetic person to nanny in our home for our laid back 6 month old son starting the last week of August. This position would be every Tuesday and Thursday from 8-5 with a lunch break and free time to while he is napping. This position is perfect for a student with Monday, Wednesday, Friday classes, or for anyone just looking for some extra cash! Non-smoking, and pet friendly preferred. I actually work from home these 2 days so will be there whenever you need me, but will be in a seperate office. There will be days when you would be able to leave around 2 or 3 when he goes down for his last nap (depending on the day) and will have a lunch break everyday also so we are making the pay $30/day because we are so flexable with hours and the situation. There may be weeks that may occur where we might need you an extra day or maybe even on a weekend so there is potential for extra time. Please forward on your resume and any references.
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/kid/1309506426.html
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19) Looking for an experienced Nanny (Chicago)
We currently have a 2.5month infant, and since I am going back to work, we are looking for a Nanny who is available from Mon-Fri from 8:30AM-5:30PM. We need one who has at least few year experience and this person is very responsible and patient. We also have a small dog, however you don't have to take care of our dog, but must love dogs. The compansation is $250/wk plus $7.00/day for lunch meal. Incase if you have to do over time, we pay $12/hour.
If you are interested, please contact me. I would like to have an interview at your place.Thank you very much.
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nch/kid/1311738568.html
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20) Family looking for live-in Nanny (Madison)
Friendly, busy, progressive, near-westside couple looking for a live-in nanny for their very happy one-year-old daughter. She wears cloth diapers, eats table food (we are vegetarians), and has a nice assortment of local friends (for play-dates). Hours would hover between 35-40 per week: 3-5 weekdays (we can work out a schedule with you), one week night, some weekend work. We both have flexible work schedules (we are employed by the UW) and would want to work out a schedule that works for all four of us. Your primary responsibilities would be to watch, care for, cook for, feed, and play with our daughter; also help with her laundry (including cloth diapers), vacuum/sweep floors once per week, mop as needed, and do a bit of light tidying as needed. The ideal candidate: pro-actively seeks out activities (trips to children's museum, zoo, splash park, etc.); practices open-communication; has a flexible schedule; loves children, dogs and music; and could make at least a one-year commitment. A valid driver’s license (and good record) is important, though your own car is not. Deal-breakers are smoking and drug use. References requested. The apartment in which you would live is a furnished one-bedroom, with your own bathroom, kitchen, living room, and separate entry-way. You would also have access to our laundry facilities, Wi-Fi, off-street parking, and meals will be included while you are caring for our daughter. We have an in-home recording studio, but will always schedule and communicate band practice/recording times well in advance. We are looking for someone to start full-time on 8/31 and part time (4-8 hours/week) in August. Pay is $200/week + lodging; (extra pay for over 40 hr/wk or overnight care) we issue W-2 and take care of all necessary FICA, state and federal taxes. One week of vacation after each 6 months of work, and the possiblity to join family on vacations upon mutual agreement. Please email us if you are interested in meeting.
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1310604029.html
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21) Looking for infant childcare to begin in March (Boston)
I am looking for someone to care for my infant beginning in March when my maternity leave will end. The baby is due November 24. I am a teacher and would be looking for someone to care for my child from 8 - 4 Monday through Thursday. I would only need someone for the remainder of the school year and would not need care during the summer. The ideal person would be someone who has experience caring for infants as well as references. I am flexible, this would be a great job for a retired person looking to make extra money or a stay at home mom looking to make extra money. We could discuss any situations that may work for you i.e. caring in your home or mine, or if you have children that you will need to pick up from school etc. (I am flexible!) I am on a strict budget so I am willing to pay $200.00 for the week. If this is a good match please feel free to email me. If things go well I would be needing someone when school resumes the following school year.
Original URL: http://boston.craigslist.org/nos/kid/1308265311.html
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22) Looking for a Live-in Nanny (Houston)
I am looking for a nanny who is able to take care of my 9 month old daughter and clean our home. The candidate must have previous childcare experience and valid references. Duties include: changing her, feeding her, keeping her entertained, reading to her, and bathing her on occasion. The candidate will also be responsible for making sure the house in kept up with and clean at all times. Spanish is a must so if you do not speak spanish do not reply. We are looking for someone who is calm and loving to work with our family. The candidate will have their own private room and bathroom, with tv. We will also pay for all meals and food. Please contact in interested and qualified.
Original URL: http://houston.craigslist.org/dmg/1309453328.html
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23) Need afterschool care (Tulsa)
We need afterschool care for our 6 1/2 year old son and weekends. It WILL NOT be every day. We are going through a divorce and both of us work retail, so the hours and days will vary. Taylor is a vary well behaved little boy for the most part and very easy to care for. He loves to be outside with his friends. He loves movies, games, activities, and cooking with me, swimming/water play, and riding his bike and scooter. The lady who we used last year charged us $1.00 and hour and we really can't afford much more than that. We want someone who is reasonable, but is good for our son....someone who will watch him and do things with him. Please let me know if this sounds like something you can do.
Original URL: http://tulsa.craigslist.org/kid/1311308469.html
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24) Child care needed (Detroit)
A loving childcare provider needed for my daughter and possible 2 other children starting in September. Im a single mom of 3 children in need of a reliable sitter starting in september. My 2 older children will be in school full time and I have 2.5 year old girl who will need to be watched while im at work. The days Im in need are Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday from 700-730 to 330pm Due to me being a single mom im not able tom pay much but im offering 150.00 every 2 weeks but more if my older children have half of days from school. If interested please contact me by my email or call my cell phone at 1-313-663-**** Im located in Taylor Thanks Debbie
Original URL: http://detroit.craigslist.org/kid/1298011044.html
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25) Nanny Needed (D.C.)
I'm looking for a p/t nanny, for my six months twin girls. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 630am-3pm and ever other saturday 630am-2pm.
I'm looking for someone who has lots of energy, patience, is caring, and attentive. The rate is $230 for MWF and MWF and Saturday $280.. Nanny must have references and speak English well. Please only serious applicants. This is a long term position. Thank you.
Original URL: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/kid/1308559982.html
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26) Looking for a full time Nanny (New Jersey)
I am looking for a full time nanny to care for my 6 kids and 4 dogs. I have 2 month old triplets, 1 1/2 year old, 3 year old, 7 year old. Five of them are boys the other is a girl. I need someone to start september 1st. You must drive. I have a range rover for you to drive with the kids. My 7 year old will be in school full time starting in september. My 3 year old goes to a special school for three hours a day m thru f. I am looking for someone to play, bath the kids, feed them. You dont need to do any house work i have a live in maid she cooks, cleans and does laundry.. Someone to walk the dogs. I am looking for a live in or out nanny to be part of are family. The hours would be from 6am to about 530pm. Mondays thru thursdays. You are off the rest of the days. You get three weeks paid vacation. I am a single parent. You must not smoke. You must love dogs. I pay $60 a day to walk the dogs three times a day. If interested please email me. I hope to hear from you soon. If you decide to move in you will have your own apartment in the back of the house. Room and board is free.
Original URL: http://newjersey.craigslist.org/kid/1310474233.html
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27) please help a mother in need (Detroit)
Hi I'm in need of daycare services for my 2 1/2 yr old daughter. I would like it to be in my home hours are approx. 25hrs including mosst weekends. I can only afford to pay $40 a week. please help me
Original URL: http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcb/kid/1311614489.html
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Special thanks to Guru-123 for our Feature Ad... and to MissDee for all of her help this week! Also, thank you to SuzanneStadler, Melwaldmen, austinmama, blondie41489, Missmannah, hijabiniqaabi and northjerseynanny... all of you did an awesome job! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO.

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