CL - WTF?

Saturday, March 7, 2009
.... What?!

1) No Salary Live-In Nanny - Years of Childcare Experience and References (Orlando)
I have over 9 years of experience with all ages infants to teenagers with references to prove it that I can forward through email right away. For the family I helped recently, it included 4 at home children - a 5 year old girl, 8 year old boy, 10 year old girl and 11 year old boy), I provided before and after school care, occasional weekend days and all night care, including making meals, making school lunches, provided assistance getting baths ready and then tucked into bed at night, washed and picked out clothes for school and play, helped with homework, played games and other fun activities (including horsey back rides for the youngest two! LOL), supervised when swimming, provided special care when sick including giving of proper medication, provided house cleaning and pet care, and much more! I'm dependable, honest, responsible, kind hearted and attentive. Be at ease and hire me with NO fees or pay. My real reward in pampering you and yours like Nanny 911 is just seeing happy faces that result from the caring contribution I give! Experienced stay at home caregiver will pamper you and your family FREE! Yes REALLY! Why give a nanny room and board AND PAY MONEY too? Trust me, your kids WILL be happy with me there! YOU will SO appreciate what I do for YOU! Whenever I did this Mr Mom before the families loved me! I am very family oriented and know how precious children are. I will treat your children like I would treat my own. Think of me as Nanny 911 who SO cares about the kids and gives them such caring, respect, nurturing and attention they (and you) don't want me to leave - and I don't leave. (-; I'm dependable, honest, responsible. Safety is of utmost importance! Children's CPR COURSE completion! I JUST saved a life a few months ago when a child in the pool became exhausted and couldn't swim to the side! I do much more for your family! I create activities in a safe environment for all ages, and they all relate to me because I'm patient, caring, fun-loving, attentive to their needs, and very compassionate. I am a good listener and problem solver. Even teens and preteens talk to me {{-; I also am fun-loving and like ALL the rides at Disney World and video games with the kids (as parents allow) I have educational games too like Madagascar and Shrek multiple choice learning games. I am a clean living trustworthy Christian man, caucasion 40+ that has lived happily with all ages. I get along well with everyone regardless of age, ethnicity, etc. I'm not one of those heavy drinker types, don't smoke and NEVER use drugs or profanity of any kind! There will be no expectations from me or need for any money to be exchanged between us - I just need a room where I can go sleep at night and call my own. You share your meals with me (I can cook for you) Very SMALL stipend may be asked for depending on what you provide and how much housework you would like me to do in addition to childcare duties. I am a very experienced, trustworthy jack of all trades. I do house cleaning, laundry, dishes, cook, yard work, painting, fixup, install electronics and computer programs, help with homework and provide security for your family if you need. Safety is of utmost importance. I am experienced at computer research for assignments, essays, etc. I can be just about anything you want me to be for you except chauffer. I don't drive, and if you could help move me and my bedroom things to wherever you are that would be appreciated as your first contribution. I offer companionship for people & pets. Looking for permanent family life to avoid the sadness that comes from kids getting attached and then having to deal with separation. My more recent families before my latest family included 3 children, 1 year old boy, 7 year old girl and 12 year old girl ( for 2 years) and 3 children, 6 year old girl, 8 year old boy and 16 year old girl (for 3 years) Ages were at time of my arrival. References forwarded from THEM to me are available to forward through email to you when you write and tell me your home situation and your vision of what would make this work for you and our mutual agreement that we have probable compatibility.
Original URL: http://orlando.craigslist.org/kid/1062637752.html
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2) Live-In Nanny Needed ASAP (Dallas Metro)
hi, i'm a single male, seeking a live-in nanny asap. willing to pay a monthly salary and willing to help out with your finances. single women only please and i do prefer someone that has a kid or kids. serious replies only please. i must get a name/number or i won't respond. thanks.
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/kid/1062720399.html
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3) Wet Nurse (Grand Prairie)
I need a wet nurse on Thursday from about 8pm through the night untill about 8 am I will pay you 100$ If this works out you will be able to do this 2 or 3 times a month. If you also want to watch my toddlers as well through the night I will pay an extra 30 dollars. They will be asleep. My baby is almost 4 months old and is the sweetest thing you ever seen.
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/mdf/dmg/1058360126.html
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4) Im Very CHEAPP SITTER!!!! (Dallas)
My name is karen im 19 and i want to babysitt your kids or animals I can do some cleaning up around. now im not going to be some daycare You dont have to come to me ..I WILL COME TO YOU! : ) *******WANTING TO GO ON DATES WITH YOUR LOVED ONE******* I can babysit weekends mornings or nights whatever fits your schedual let me know! if you want to know me more contact me i will send you pic. of me (Because you dont want some wiered looking person babysitting your kids now) Im not expencive soo Just let me know what your price is.
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/kid/1062555944.html
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5) I Need a TOUGH Babysitter (Garland)
OK, BEFORE the hate mail begins and the posting against me on Craigslist, I am NOT a mean / bad mom. Here is the situation. We are a blended family. We have decided that one night a week, we are going to have a date night without our children. We are trying to keep our relationship with each other strong, and devote as much attention to each other as we do to our children (our children come first, but in order to have a healthy family, we have to have a healthy relationship). Here is the problem, I have been a single mom since before my daughter was born. He divorced his daughters mom 2 years ago. The children have nothing against either of us as people (we already explored that), they just don't want he and I to be together. See, my children think life is prefect when it is just me and them, because then they get ALL my affection. His thinks that if he and I break up, mom and dad will get remarried and their lives will be what it was 2 years ago. So, they try VERY hard to drive the babysitters away so that he and I cannot have a night alone. Now, here is where I am going to sound like I am contradicting myself. The kids really are great kids. But, the babysitters we have hired tend to allow the children to get their way. So... here we are! We are looking for someone who will NOT let the children run the household while we are gone. We want you to be strict with them (do not spank them, cuss at them or yell at them). We want them to be put in bed at 8:00 and not coddled to sleep with TV. Maybe someone who is older, because it seems it is the younger babysitters that the kids walk all over. Make them eat their dinner, pick up after themselves, do not allow video games or computer games, make them play outside or play board games. If you think you can handle this, PLEASE email me with your rates, experience, and PLEASE have your experience inlcude any problems you have been able to overcome with children.
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/kid/1057060130.html
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6) Needing someone right now (North Fort Worth/Haslet)
Our sitter called in sick and we are needing someone to take her place today. we are really needing someone before 8 this morning. If intrested and able please e-mail me ASAP. It is sitting a 5 month old boy.
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/kid/1062654445.html
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7) BABYSITTER NEEDED! For Wednesday (San Diego)
Hello, my name is Cassie. I am coming into San Diego for surgery on Tuesday. I will need someone to watch my daughter on Wednesday March 4. I will also need them to drop me off and pick me up from the doctors then bring me back to my hotel. It not serious but I wont be able to drive. For the few hours that I'm in surgery and until about three or four PM I will need someone to look after my little girl. So it's a job for a day! :) Flat fee of $100.00. My daughter is almost two, she's very well behaved. Please, I need some help. Anyone help me out on Wednesday? Please email your name and number so I can contact you!!! Thank you!
Original URL: http://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/kid/1057203557.html
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8) 1 Month Free Childcare in exchange for move (Garland)
OK, here is the deal... I am moving. I have NO motivation to even get started on packing! I need someone that is willing to come help me organize and pack my entire home and move me, also to help me unpack most of my belongings. In exchange, I will give you $250 off of childcare rates (looking for full-time care, part time care, drop in care, for a night out, just need a break, whatever... I run a registered childcare and have openings). I plan on renting a truck, if you can get a few guys to load and unload everything (including heavy items - furniture, washer/dryer, fridge, dressers, fish tank, etc), I will give you a $600 childcare credit. It is worth more then I would pay in cash, but I do not have the cash. Otherwise, I would hire someone to do it. Anyways, if you are interested, please email me. I need to get started ASAP!
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/kid/1061505129.html
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9) great nanny looking for job urgent I am the best (Needham/Wellesley)
i AM VERY GOOD PEROSN LOVIGN CARIGN AND I AHVE CAR .i WOK WITH KIDS FOR LONG TIME . i AM LOOKING FOR JOB .i HAVE BILLS TO APY AND i NEED GRET FAMILY THAT WNATS A GRET NANNY . pLEASE GIV E ME JOB .YOU WONT BE UNHAPPY YOU WILL BE HAPPY WITH MY WORK .PLEASE !!!
Original URL: http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/kid/1062206398.html
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10) Occassional sitter WANTED (Serra Mesa)
I do need a sitter IN MY HOME for tomorrow night from about7:30pm or 8:30 pm to 2:30 am. You need to come to our home, and you must have a child of your own. I am only paying 35 dollars because I am providing food for you and your child and all you need to do for my kids is make sure they are put to bed properly and then you are able to watch tv or be on the phone or whatever. It is an easy job. Please email me and let me know if you are able to meet today so I can make sure you are legit and everything. Thanks! This would hopefully turn into a every other weekend thing. My girls are 3 and 1.
Original URL: http://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/kid/1052246149.html
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11) NEED DAYCARE ASAP (Dallas)
I am looking for daycare immediately to start within a week or two. I am looking for day care for my 5 month old son, either in someone's home or in a daycare center. My son is very sweet and loving, smiles at just about anything and everything. He can pretty much hold his own bottle and can almost sit up. attatched is a photo of my baby boy. I live off 635 and midway and I work in Richardson. I am looking for someone between here and there. Either close to 635 and Midway some where or off the north dallas toll way between 635 and george bush toll or between george bush toll and shiloh exit. Please call me ASAP if you know of any day care centers or if you provide day care in your home. Grace 940-367-***** (see attached photo)
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/kid/1057509499.html
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12) NEED BABYSITTER FOR TONIGHT MUST HAVE I.D. (Baraboo)
I am looking for a babysitter for my 5 year old boy after 8pm tonight at our home in Baraboo. He will be asleep for the night. Just watch movies and eat my food. I require a Photo I.D. I can also provide I.D. for myself. You must be at least 18 and have own transportation. Reference is a plus! If you are interested please call me at 608-963-**** David Thank you.
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1055901546.html
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13) i need help with my kids now (Milwaukee Southside)
i am looking for a woman who can help me take my kids (2 of them) out and do some chores with me. u just have to play with them and keep them entertain so i can do the chores. but i need it today and now asap. u have to be good looking or else my kids will be scared. i will compensate u for that if u like but plz be reasonable. i need this as my extented family went to attend a wedding in atlanta for few days, so i will appreciate ur help.....
Original URL: http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/m4w/1054606802.html
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.... How Much?!

14) Nanny needed in Torrance to start soon (Western/ Sepulveda)
I am looking to hire a nanny to watch 2 girls. (3 years old and 1 year old) at my house. I am paying $ 300 a week clear. Want someone local to Torrance/ Harbor City. Full time Live out Monday - Friday 7:30am - 4:00pm Paid holidays Main Duties: Watching the children Providing them with lunch, breakfast, snacks Washing kids clothes, wash dishes, clean kitchen and play area. Go for walks, activities with kids, play outside - backyard. Must drive, and have a car Please e-mail me if you are interested in this position and the weekly salary is ok with you. SALARY IS SET AT $300 a week.
Original URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/dmg/1061982618.html

* Response from angry CL reader:

15) Re: Nanny needed in Torrance to start soon (Western/Sepulveda)
is this lady f**king kidding?!?!?!? she wants someone 5 days a week for 8 1/2 hours each day and shes only willing to pay $300?!?!?! AND SHE HAS TWO KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when you break it down its only $7 an hour, and if you break it down even more, it's $3.50 a kid per hour... not to mention that she want you to be certified, have a car, and clean!!!!!! LADY, GET REAL! IF YOU WANT SOMEONE WITH EXPERIENCE, YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY FOR EXPERIENCE!!!!!! my venting here is done. thanks for reading!
Original URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/dmg/1062812877.html
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16) Babysitter/Nanny needed (Allen)
My husband and I both work from home and, while she's really good about it most of the time, I can't help feeling bad for the amount of time Christina has to entertain herself because we're both busy. And it's going to get worse as we get more work.... Ideally, we would like somebody to come to our house from 10-2, two or three days a week. Our ideal schedule would be alternating weekly: MWF one week, T Th Sat the following week—but we're fairly flexible. We'll still be here, but would like this person to play with Christina, take her for walks, and feed her. We'd probably still do diapers and lay her down for her nap, at least in the beginning. (Hopefully, she'll like this person well enough that she'll be comfortable with them handling these things occasionally, eventually.) We would like this to be a long-term commitment. Christina isn't used to being around a lot of people, so it can take her some time to warm up to someone new, and I'd like to not have her get attached to somebody and then have them disappear from her life and have to do it again with somebody else. We were thinking of splitting this between two people (if we can find two!!), so 1) we'll have a backup and 2) she'll start getting used to more people.... The details: - We're a pet and smoke-free home, and we need a non-smoking babysitter. - Must speak clear English, without a heavy accent. - Christina naps for 45min-1.5 hours every day, starting around 10:30-11, so you would have some free time to eat, read, or whatever.... - We have a small house, but we do have a nice-sized backyard, and the library is within walking distance. - We would prefer somebody who would not need to bring a child along, but would make an exception for the right person. - We can't pay a lot to start but, as business increases we'll be able to pay more. (We're hoping to start out paying $200/month) - We're in Allen, just off Central/McDermott Please let me know if you are interested, and please pass this on to anyone you know who MIGHT be interested—we started interviewing today, and want to be sure we have the right person for the job. You can email or call me: carole@**** 214-227-**** (home) 214-709-**** (cell) Thanks for looking!
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/kid/1057569234.html
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17) darecare special spring begins $60 week (Austin)
Hello My name is Laura I am a responsible person and have a darecare in my house I have good referenucias I worked in a darecare for 2 years And I sificiente experience a darecare • food • routine actividedes • Monday - Friday 6:30 a.m. to 6:00 pm • Saturdays (depending on timing) • Spacious house, clean • Big yard to play The week of spring begins will have a special $ 60 per week for children over 3 years Interested I am located near Slaughter, if you have any questions please call 512-964-**** e-mail biglaura2007@**** and my address is 10424 cameo ln autin tx. Original URL: http://austin.craigslist.org/kid/1058664466.html
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18) Trustful Sitter Needed (Hunt/Rockwall County)
We need a childcare provider for our 13 month daughter. We need hours from 7:30am-7:30pm M-F and pay $75-100/wk Please call Melissa @ 214-274-**** to schedule an interview today. We need someone ASAP but need the right person. Thank you
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/kid/1055890802.html
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19) I Need After School Care (Corinth)
Hello! I am in need of child care for my son who is in Kindergarten. He currently attends Corinth Elementary. He will need to be picked up from school and cared for from 3pm-7pm at the latest. Also, my job will require me to work on Saturdays from 10am-4pm, so he will need to be dropped off at your home at 9:30am at the latest. I am willing to pay $75 per week for his care. Also, we have his 10 year old sister every other weekend, so I will need care for her as well on the Saturdays that we have her. I will pay $25 for the Saturday that she is there. I am looking for someone who meets the following requirements: *Non-Smoking *Loves children *Preferably has a background in child care If this sounds like something that you would be interested in, please contact me. I am looking to fill this position asap for the right candidate, so please reply promptly by emailing a resume and including a little information about yourself. Also, feel free to call me at (940)594-**** to inquire about the position. My name is Alexis and I look forward to hearing from you!
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/kid/1059524369.html
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20) Nanny to watch 3 and 14 month old in my home (Burnet Road)
Hi! We are looking for a dependable, caring, drug free nanny to watch 2 children in my home 5 - 6 days a week. My friend and I wanting to nanny share and if possible pay around $130-150 a week for both (this is negotiable). The hours would be from 7:30 am - 5:30 pm. You would only have the 3 month old from 1:00pm - 5:30 pm. Must be able to pass background check. Please let me know if you are interested, the position could start as early as this Wednesday. Thanks!!
Original URL: http://austin.craigslist.org/kid/1057847417.html
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21) Childcare needed for Part time (Fairfield/Vacaville)
I am a mom of 2 children. One of them is in Kindergarten and the other is 3 years of age and stays home. I will need someone starting approx mid march and the duties will inculde the following. Taking and picking up my kindergartener from school. Watching my 3 year old from 7am to approx 5:15 pm. Feeding them breakfast and my 3 year old lunch ( i will provide the food ). I will need these services every monday and friday. May change one day a week on occasion. I am prepared to offer $100.00 per week for this job and i would like the children to be cared for in my home. I need some one that is reliable and on time. Female preferred and childcare experience a must, must have own vehicle and insurance ( I will ask you to show me proof of drivers liscence as well as insurace) Thank you
Original URL: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/kid/1057285776.html
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22) Seeking Nanny/Babysitter/Childcare for 6-month-old (Arcadia CA)
Nanny or daycare needed 4 days a week from 9 am to 7:30 pm for a 6 month old baby girl in Arcadia. Will only consider a daycare if within 10 minutes of Santa Anita Ave & Huntington Dr in Arcadia, or if you're willing to pick her up at 9 am and drive her back to Arcadia at 7:30 pm. Daytime nanny will need to do some light housework, cook family dinner, and occasional grocery shopping. High-speed internet and computer are available to use. Prior experience & references a huge plus. Bilingual in English & Chinese preferred but not necessary. Please provide childcare history, background, references, and the amount of pay you're seeking. Due to the volume of emails I'm receiving, you MUST include the following information in your email: 1) Your name, age, and a brief background on yourself. 2) The amount of pay you are asking for, either hourly, daily, weekly, or monthly. (Daily rate is strongly preferred) 3) If you have any children, how many, and how old? 4) For a childcare facility, how many children and how old are currently under your care? Where are you located? How many providers are there? Please don't email me if you cannot work the hours listed. I will not consider anything over $1000/month for a nanny, less for a daycare. Thank you! This is the baby girl you'll be taking care of: (see photo)
Original URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sgv/kid/1058894819.html
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23) Nanny, Live in or Out (Las Vegas Strip)
Looking for a nanny from 8-5 P<>Original URL: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/dmg/1062214657.html
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24) Live-in mother's helper/assistant (Hollywood Hils/Laurel Canyon)
Seeking a non-smoking helper/assistant with positive attitude for a full-time live-in position with a loving family with infant boy/girl twins and an 8-year-old daughter. Your role would include general household organizing and maintenance, helping work-at-home nursing mom get time in the office, light housework, caring for the baby twins, errands, carpooling with older daughter, some help with her homework, grocery shopping, some cooking/clean-up, and some personal assistant work for designer mom. You would have your own room with window and mirrored closet, a full bathroom just outside the door (used as a powder room for guests-but not shared with family). Our home is large, modern and comfortable, with pool, hot tub, lush garden and great kitchen with great hiking in the neighborhood. You need to have an insured car you could use for errands, cell phone, valid driver’s license, speak English, be legally in the USA, have some experience with children, hopefully also babies and a willingness to jump in and help out where needed. The position comes with full room and board, high-speed wireless internet, satellite TV, $200 per week compensation. Please include some information on you, your background, age, experience, and 2 personal references. We would love to find that special person who feels like family and would consider staying long-term. Please only respond if you are interested in this position and meet the requirements. Please email us if interested with some background on you, your contact information and your qualifications. Thanks! Lisa and Adam fullnest4@**** 323 848 ****
Original URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/dmg/1058671159.html
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25) FULL TIME Summer Break IN HOME Sitter Wanted (Cambridge WI)
Looking for responsible young adult to watch one 9 year old boy for a FULL TIME summer commitment in our home only. Would start first day on Thursday June 11th and continue to last day needed, Friday August 28th. Hours would be 6:45 am until 4:45 pm, Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Wednesdays and Fridays hours would be 6:45 am until 5:30 pm. Days off and half days off (are unpaid).Would be off all day June 25th and 26th. Would be off afternoon of July 10th, and entire week off July 13th - July 17th. Additional days off with advance notice no problem! No preference for either male or female, as long as young adult is R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-L-E. Our home is around Lake Ripley would prefer someone in the same town! TRANSPORTATION TO AND FROM OUR HOME IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. We would also prefer someone with reliable transportation, (although not necessary to transport child), knowledge of CPR, and a tolerance for a sometimes messy house! Would be expected to help out with breakfast, make light lunches, keep child entertained, and possibly load the dishwasher along with asking child to pick up after himself. Child likes to bike around the lake, play tennis at the beach, shoot basketball, fish and swim off pier (close to house,) foosball, wii, computer games, go kart and walk his dogs. We are offering $100.00 every full week and $20.00 every full day and $10.00 every half day, paid cash every Friday. We would really like to find a young adult who possibly would return for care next summer as well, if things go good! Please email with child sitting experience and a good day/time to set up an interview. We are hoping to have someone officially hired no later than end April. Thanks!
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/dmg/1041645988.html
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26) Babysitter needed at night (White Settlement)
We are looking for someone that can come into our home from 11:00pm-9:00am Monday-Friday. We have a 3 week old baby and he wakes up at 12:00, 3:00, 6:00 and will need to be changed, fed and put back to sleep(takes about 45 min total each time). You will have the internet, tv, lots of movies, phone to use just need to take care of baby while he is awake. Will pay $50 a week. Please email me if you are interested.
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/kid/1058628707.html
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Special Thanks to: mbargielski - for our Feature Ad, Amy, CL listing, ali, MissDee, hungrycollegestudent, etereia and Bayleighsback.... all of you did an excellent job this week! Remember: CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday... please send next weeks Ads HERE.

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