Saturday, July 3, 2010
june cl wtf 4
.... WHAT?!

1) WANTED: Referee (Seattle)
You heard it, referee – I don’t have babies, so I don’t need a babysitter. They are Toddlers , wild and crazy toddlers. I don’t blame them I mean they have a lot working against them. They are 2 and 4, brother and sister, they are kids – I’m the parent, they have a lot to fight for. My son is 2, he hits out of frustration sometimes, but if you catch him before you can change his mind. Its his way of trying to get his point accross. (also part of being a 2 year old boy)

My daughter, the 4 year old is a princess…REALLY she thinks she is. She tries to make the world revolve around her. I didn’t want to be the mom that says in an ad ‘my children are perfect little angels’ – They’re not, but they are pretty darn good kids (most of the time)! They are best friends and never leaves each other's side.

You must love dogs, we have a pitbull.
“those vicous, heart-less beasts who were only put on the earth to eat small children and kill all animals they come across”
-found in some article your mom read. Author unknown.
This couldn’t be farther from the truth, they are lovely dogs. Our little lady is our best friend and has a full time job as a pony in our house.

You HAVE to have a sense of humor, be responsible, love to play inside or out, play dress up, build block homes, do art projects, throw an occasional ball for the dog and just really enjoy kids. I am pretty easy going. They can have popsicles when its hot and jump in puddles when it rains. I just want them to have fun and be kids.

Looking for someone for July 15th for a few hours. My kids have never had a babysitter before, always been with mommy or grandparents or their dad. We would love to find someone who we could call from time to time for a break – mommy’s and grammy’s are allowed to get tired too ya know? If interested please respond with your rate, experience and anything else that will set you apart from the other responses!

This person placed several different Ads over the past week:
2) baby sitter wanted (Pittsburgh)
Hi I'm looking for a baby sitter part time to watch a 18 year old who has infantialism in your home. He is only 5'5 and 115 pounds needs taking care of like a baby. Changing diapers etc if ur interested message me

3) baby sitter needed (Pittsburgh)
Hi I'm looking for a babysitter to baby sit an 19 year old with infantialism that wants to be taken care of like a baby from 14 to 20 hours a week. Wage is negotiable. The only difference between taking care of him and a baby is age just everything u do for a baby do for him he's only 115 pounds and 5'6 need taken care of in your home

4) Looking for a babysitter (Oregon)
I am looking for a baby sitter for my 3 and 2 year old. probably one night a week when my wife and I will go out to dinner. or a movie, ECT. Sitter will be compensated with tattoo time. 1 hr of tattooing per 5 hrs worked.

5) Need babysitter for tomorrow (Milwaukee)
Hi, I am in desperate need of a sitter for my 3 year old tomorrow. I would need someone from 3pm until 9:30-9:45pm. I would prefer someone to come to my place however I would consider dropping the little one off at your place. When you respond please provide experience along with rates. Thanks

6) Partial room & board in exchange for childcare & light housekeeping (Pittsburgh)
We are a young family living in Squirrel Hill and currently have 2 children ages 6 and 4. We are expecting our third the end of October and are looking for someone to help with childcare and light housekeeping. We would like someone who could offer 10 hours a week based on your schedule. Starting September 1, 2010. 6 month commitment required.
We have a small 600 sq. foot space that we would rent to you for 500.00. This space has a bedroom, kitchen, office, living room and bathroom. It is has been newly renovated and we will pay all utilities; cable, internet, water, electric and gas and offer it furnished in exhange for 10 hours a week of childcare and light housework based on your schedule and convience. This space is offered at a very affordable rate in exhange for services that are equal to 400.00. We are enviornmentally conscious professionals who recycle, compost and garden. One indiviual please, no smokers and no pets. If you are interested in inquiring more about this offer please contact me. Thanks!

7) babysitter needed for tonight (Seattle)
Date: 2010-07-02, 7:06PM
I need a last minute babysitter for tonight at my house 4 kids for 3 hours 40.00 email for more details!

8) Babysitter Fantasies (Dallas)
lets talk if ur into this ;-)

9) looking 4 work (Norfolk)
I'm looking 4work. I'm a very trustworthy, loving, caring, person with a big heart. I have never been n trouble n school or with the law. Rite I'm a student looking for work intil my ssi kick in. I'm looking for a babysitting job or house cleaning job. I have babysitted before and I use to clean the human resource building downtown Norfolk. So I'm welling and able to work. I can work as early as 8am and as late as 12am.

10) Mothers Helper Wanted 1-2 mornings/wk (Pittsburgh)
We are seeking an active, creative, RESPONSIBLE & fun mother's helper (8th grade and up) to assist with three kids ages 1,3 and 7. There will be an adult at home, so this is a great learning experience for a young person. I would prefer someone within walking distance of our home in order to avoid the complications of needing a ride (if you are under 16yo and don't have a license- Bloomfield, Shadyside, Friendship, East Liberty, North Oakland.)
My kids love crafts, playing outside, games, reading, coloring and learning activities. The 1yo is a runner (she is known to leave the house and run down the street!), so we need someone who is on top of things - not someone who will sit on the couch and text. Send an email and tell me a little about yourself and your experience or your interests and activities. I look forward to hearing from you!

11) I need a babysitter (Las Vegas)
Date: 2010-07-02, 4:41PM
My babysitter cancelled last minute. I need a sitter last minute, and I preferrable need someone that can watch my children in their home. I have two boys 4 and 6. I would drop off at 6:30 and pick up around midnight. Please contact me ASAP if you are willing to do this with a phone number so we can talk. Thank you, Taylor.

12) Need a great babysitter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥ (Las Vegas)
I am 14 years old and looking for a babysitting job. I want to earn the money so I can donate some of it to abuse animals donation i think thats what it is called. No JOKE!!! I love animals and I cry every time that comercial comes on. Anyways I am very reasonable when baby sitting. I would rather baby sit over at my house. My parents want me to actually babysit over at my house because of perverts and everything. Well I am a straight A student. I am a real good kid. I love to cook and play with kids. If you are interested just email me!!!!! Oh I babysit children 8 and under. 9 and up get to complicated and I babysit up to 3 or 4 kids, but it will be more!!!

13) sham of 7 mth old is open to watch your kids (Las Vegas)
hello, i have been a nanny for 15yrs and now im a mom to a wonderful 7mth old boy. Im looking for extra cash and to socialize my little man with other kids. Im willing to work with people on pay. contact me if you need someone. my husband is a fireman in the airforce and i have many references for being a nanny in las vegas! My son wakes at 530 these days so early hour drop off wont be a problem either. email me :) kate

14) Do U like the 'clean up' song? Then I'm the wrong childcare 4 U (PA)
2 openings.
Meals and snacks provided.
Large Yard with games, toys, a sandbox & bikes.
Supervised computer, books, games & toys for rainy days.
(Limited Television)
Due to the age group I already have,
Preschool age and older is o.k.
No infants or toddlers Please!
Claimed Income = Deduction on Taxes
References available upon request.

100.00/week Full Time
25.00 /day Part Time

Although these are my rates, I try to work with parents - their various work schedules, as well as the number of children in a family...
so that childcare can remain affordable.

A semi-humorous note from me:
This is a realistic home setting childcare.
I'm not a 'super nanny,'
Just a mom of 3 boys.

I promote granola, cereal bars, and water,
instead of potato chips, snack cakes, and soda.
The dishes and housework sometimes pile up because I'd rather us be outside.
Yes, I go outside with the kids...
the older ones are not being paid to watch the little guys, that's my job!
The kids won't hear me singing Barney's cleanup song...
(and if you heard my singing you'd know that's a good thing :)
About the only thing they'll hear me 'sing' is
"How many times do I have to tell you boys to NOT throw rocks!?!"

I'm lousy with arts and crafts...
My last pine cone bird feeder effort was a disastrous project
that left parents scratching their heads.
But the peanut butter was good!
I love working in the garden and pointing out the various growth stages of the veggies.
I'm getting nervous though...
the kids keep eying up my tomatoes and cucumbers!!! :)
(the young lady I watch enjoys my flowers)

Circle time???
Yeah, right! I spend more time splitting them up into non-fighting groups! :)

Unlike some places, I don't have a magic light switch.
I can't just switch off on Friday, and forget the kids till Monday.
If one of 'my kids' are home sick, I usually call at one point, because
I want to know if they are feeling better.
When I find a cool barbie house or bike at a yard sale, it's theirs.
Even when I'm 'off duty,' If I'd see one of 'my kids'
in trouble, I'd make time to stop and ask if they're OK...
if they told me they needed help,
I'd surely have their back!

It's summer. It's hot. The kids sometimes grouch at me,
and sometimes I grouch back!
I've found myself apologizing for being grouchy.
But at the end of the day
(and yes! There are days that I'm glad there's an end)
I wouldn't trade the kids I watch...
for anything!

So if you are looking for a perfect provider-
with a painted on artificial happy face that sings the 'I love you' song...
I am the wrong person for your child(ren)!
IF, however, you are looking for a provider who is more like a real parent,
that takes the time to get to know each child for who they are...
then drop me a line.


15) Live in Nanny needed immediately (Atlanta)
We are looking for a full time live in nanny. We have 2 residence, one in Fairburn and the other in Decatur. Nanny must be able to travel between both locations. Must be able to work from 7am - 10pm - 6 days a week. Nanny must have 3+ years of child care experience. Must be non smoker, Certified CPR and First Aid, clean background, references, and have the ability to teach our son basic skills. Perks include; Family car, vacation, warm environment. Position available immediately. Call: 678-216-****

16) we need a sitter tonight at the double tree in tulsa (Tulsa)
Date: 2010-06-25, 4:07PM CDT
We are in from outta town for a wedding tomorrow with our 4yr old daughter. We want to go out and drink tonight but don't have a sitter. We will either go to one of the casinos or maybe just the bar downstairs. We haven't decided yet. We can't afford much but send me your rates and maybe we can figure something out. The Doubletree is on Yale St so please either be close or come here to the hotel. We will probably go around 830ish and be back before 2am. I'm thinking like $20 but let me know asap

17) Need care for 2 kids (Austin)
I need care for my two kids they are 2 and 4-1/2. They are not potty trained and still need a bottle to nap. We are vegan/vegetarian and ask that you DON'T feed our kids meat of ANY KIND! We need someone from around 7am until 6pm. We do not want our children to just sit in front a tv all day. We are active in our childrens life and expect that out of our provider. We want someone who will send our children home with work and daily project. We sign with our children, so they haven't really started speaking yet so knowledge of ASL will be helpful. We are looking to pay around $155 a week for both children as this is what our current provider charges us. She gave us notice today that after this week she can no longer provide care.

18) need sitter to come to my house asap (Norfolk)
Date: 2010-06-27, 12:23PM
im starting this new job tomm from 530am-11am. i need someone to come to my home while my son isstill sleeping till i get home for work. im near Qmasters. if can one can do this please call me tell me your rates looking to pay you every 2 weeks when i get paid its 25 hrs a week. please dont say a big amount bc i cant do it... 769-****

19) Experienced Domestic Couple Needed Full-Time Live-In (Rhode Island)



Daily Meals:
Put morning newspaper with breakfast
Dinner (MUST BE AN EXPERIENCED COOK) Gourmet low fat meat meals and vegetables.
If deserts are prepared they should be made of low fat, low sugar, no cream natural ingredients such as baked apples or fresh fruit salads
Daily Cleaning Interior (Includes Main Residence and guest apartment):
It is understood that employees will maintain their apartment in a manner consistent with that of the main residence and guest apartment

Sheets should be changed twice a week
Freshen up blankets and comforters
All laundry should be washed, dried, and ironed; folded and put away. Please check for loose buttons or seams that need mending.
Dry cleaning dropped off and picked up as needed
Kitchen should be cleaned after Mr. Picerne is finished and has exited the kitchen / eating areas
Sweep and vacuum floors
Shake out all throw rugs
Dusting all surface areas
Straightening out all living areas
Sterilize bathrooms

Outdoor Areas:
Pool area maintenance – we will have a pool company open and close the pool but you will still be responsible for maintaining the pool and its general appearance and surrounding areas.
Outdoor kitchen should be stocked with drinks and condiments especially in summer entertaining times. Should always have hot dogs, hamburgers and buns ready to grill (could be kept in freezer until needed).
Patio, terrace and deck furniture maintenance
Professional landscapers will plow, mow, trim, mulch and do the basic set ups but your responsibilities will include:
deadheading where needed
all other maintenance and care
snow shoveling and salting
plant and maintain an vegetable and herb garden

Other Cleaning Done Weekly / Monthly / Seasonal:
Run Jacuzzi tub to clear out jets
Wash, wax, treat all floors on a scheduled basis determined by type of floor
Wash all light fixtures
All bedding (may need to be dry cleaned once a year)
Windows and window treatments
Maintain guest apartment
Should be cleaned on a weekly basis or daily while guests occupy it
Kitchen and bath items should be stocked with basics for guests

Pantry Stock:
Bottled water
Lemon lime Gatorade
Paper cups both hot and cold
Diet coke cans – please keep an eye on expiration dates
Club soda
Tonic water
Pellegrino sparkling water
Cranberry juice – must be light calorie
Honey Bunches of Oats Honey Nut flavored cereal
All Bran cereal
Quaker Oats
Healthy snack bars
Mixed nuts to be placed in guest areas
Lactaid chewable tablets
Paper plates, napkins, paper towels etc.
Cleaning supplies should be purchased in bulk on a commercial level for maximum savings
Stock wine coolers

Bathroom Stock:
Fresh towels
Fresh rugs
Toilet paper and facial tissues
Men’s conditioning shampoo and conditioner
Razor and refills

Other Responsibilities:
Managing and running special events and entertainment as needed above and beyond catering
This will be heaviest during the summer months and will likely occur on weekends

Usually limited to RI, MA and perhaps NY
Airport drop off and pick up – helping with luggage

This is heavy during travel changing times. In other words, when he comes home for the summer after being gone most of winter he will likely bring all his clothes back to RI from all other homes & boat. Then they will all be distributed out to homes again in late fall when winter travel begins.
Assist in his packing for travel and unpacking for all departures and arrivals.
Travel – one person would travel to 3 homes in other states (AZ, UT and FL) to open the homes for the season and then again to close them for the season. You may be given extra days off to enjoy the local areas during these times.

There are 3 other “beach houses” in the same town as the main residence
In the off season we would like you to make frequent inspections of these homes to be sure there is nothing wrong while they are unoccupied; ie – heat is low, no water running, no insect problems etc.
Responsible for understanding and maintaining all high tech stuff
Tech proficient to understand all TV’s, stereo, home theatre, game room, alarm system etc.

Grandchildren things such as ATVs, golf cart, jet ski, kayaks and the like as they apply
Maintain bicycles in good operating condition – tires full of air – preseason bike tuning should be done every year
There may be some times in the summer when you will be asked by family members to babysit children
Maintain all automobiles in excellent operating condition and appearance
Current on inspections, registration and insurance information all in the car
Cars should always be ready to go, gassed up and equipped with the necessary seasonal things
Ice scrapers, fluids, fix a flat, flares etc
There is a possibility there will be a need for some assistance on the boat in Newport during the summer
This would include host/hostess outings
Prepare for guests
Deliver food and drinks for event
Pick up or drop off guests
Any type of outside contractor work needed should be coordinated through the corporate office construction department.
Weekly activity reports must be written or typed and handed in to the main office.

* Response from angry CL reader:

20) RE: Experienced Domestic Couple (Rhode Island)
Thanx for the laugh this morning. Are you Kidding?? Is there anything you DON'T want them to do?? I'm assuming there's no time off for these people because it certainly sounds like there won't be time for it. It also sounds like they'll be pretty much the only staff. RICH PEOPLE ARE THE WORST! I suppose that's why they're rich, because they're so CHEAP and treat their hired help like slaves. You may have money, but you are a LOSER!!

.... HOW MUCH?!

21) babysitter needed for friday or sat nite (Pittsburgh)
married couple is seeking a date nite. we have 3 boys ages 3, 5 and 11wks. need someone who is responsible and knows rite from wrong and how to hand an infant. pay is 3.00/hr must watch at our house because we are looking to go out from 8p to 2am.... must be responsbile and no pedifiiles

22) Needed Childcare for my 6 (Austin)
Childcare needed for my 6 children. They are ages 17 months to almost 10 years old. We have three boys and three girls with the girls being the oldest and very helpful. We need someone in Cabot area to either come to our home and watch them (your children are welcome) or to your home. It will be 2-3 days per week from 7-8 am to 6 pm. Pay is $50/ day. Please email if interested.

23) Babysitting Opportunity to Start July 18, 2010 (Chicago)
We reside on the 6500 blk of South Laflin st.and looking for a responsible young adult for the summer to babysit my three kids in my home. The kids are 10(boy), 6(boy) and 5(girl).We also have a miniature pinscher 7lbs,but, you don't have to be bothered with her. You must be drug and alcohol free and a lot of fun for the kids.We have a Shedd Aquarium and Field Museum membership. I want the kids to enjoy your company and for u to enjoy them. Hours and days of work will be Mon, Tue, Wed and Thu,as well as, every other Friday or Sat, you will know the day in advance. You gotta be old enough to work from 4pm to 11pm. I'm also willing to meet your parents if you are between 16 to 18. I can pay you $120.00 a week and if your here for one of the weekend days, thats an additional $30 dollars. Help your parents by getting a job for the summer, while helping a working couple.SERIOUS REPLIES PLEASE. PARENTS FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME. This can also be offered to a responsible adult that just wants to make alittle bit of cash. For people that have applied, this job will be interviewing soon,but, will start on the Mon. July 18th.

24) Sitter needed in Chesapeake (Norfolk)
I need a sitter as soon as possible. Times will vary, but basically we need someone who can work three days a week during the day from 7:00 a.m. to around 4:00 p.m. I am an interning student, and sometimes my hours are erratic. Some days I will be later, and some days I will be earlier. I will give you as much notice as possible. We have two daughters, ages 8 and 12. You must be dependable, energetic, responsible, neat, and have reliable transportation. You must be willing to come to my home. We live in Elmwood Landing in Deep Creek. The closer you live to us, the better. We are a relaxed, easy-going family. You must be okay around pets. This is a perfect opportunity for a student to earn a little extra money. Please send a description of your qualifications and three character references to riley_connie@****. I can pay up to $50 per day. Please, no day care centers. I need someone to come to me.

25) Babysitter needed!!! (D.C.)
baby sitter needed for two!!! Im looking for the care of my two loving children for 40hrs a week at 5 days a week.I'm looking for someone very dependable as my job is very must have at least 5yrs of experience and be able to pass a background check and two interviews, one with myself the other with my kids :-) Compensation for this position is about 150 to 200 per week(depending on qualifications).only serious inquiries reply.

26) need nanny (Las Vegas)
I need a reliable person, good with children, and someone with alot of patience and experience. I have 5 kids an 11, 9, 8, 6 and 1 year old. I need someone 4 days a week. must stay the four days at my house i am paying 200 a week. i will do a background check and drug test. if interested please e mail me at ildac@**** i will be doing interviews all next week thank you.

27) Affordable childcare needed! (Chicago)
I am looking for a sitter (preferably (but not required if hes taken to a park or pool or somewhere with other children interaction) a mom or someone who watches at least one other child) for my 3yr old son(Rusty). I am hoping to find someone in the LOFS/Winfield area. He is very loving and sweet but he does have his rotten moments(but what kid doesn't?) I am looking for a job that will require a sitter between the hours of 8am-6pm in your home. I know the economy is bad and everyone needs money, I am hoping that I can find someone to do this for around $100/wk, depending on if I need you every day and what hours exactly. He watches little TV but the educational cartoons/shows are what he does watch(Dora, Diego, Franklin, Clifford). He does know some colors, numbers and letters, but I am working on that with him and would like for you to as well. I can send food with him or that can be figured into what is charged. He is not a picky eater and he has no allergies that we know of. I am allergic to bees but he has never been stung. A backpack will accompany him stocked with extra clothes(underwear, socks, pants, shorts, t shirts, sweatshirt, Tylenol, Benedryl, Sunscreen, Butt Paste(diarrhea). I put sunscreen on him daily when I dress him. While I am job hunting I am hoping to be able to maybe bring him by for a few hours(you would be paid) so as he can get used to you and your home and family or other kids you care for etc... He is an only child so he thrives on getting to see and play with other children. We can discuss everything in person. He is potty trained(he does need help wiping after a BM). He sits to pee(we are working on standing). He does take off bottoms and underwear completely to go potty(he requires some assistance getting them on right side out and facing the right direction). We are working on that as well. He is very active and loves other kids. He loves pets(we have a cat). He is very smart and loves to learn. He likes arts and crafts. We do have "Your Baby Can Read" and would like it to be used while in your care. He can't swim yet, but is almost there, he does have a float that allows him to swim alone and freely(with supervision)he has never swam anywhere except in a pool. He is very very very friendly. He does have sensitive feelings though. He is shy at first but warms up quickly. he may have a hard time sharing at first but usually does well. He does nap sometimes but not always, we don't require it but it is your preference. His discipline is a warning and then 3min of time out/corner(since he is 3). I am trying to cover everything, but I am sure I will forget something. If you are interested, have any questions or can help in anyway please email or text 219-201-****. Mom-Amanda. Dad-Keith. Son-Rusty.

28) Babysitter wanted (Tucson)
Must have reliable transportation. We do background checks and drug testing. I pay $35 dollars a day and I keep in my house one item for you that you choose (soda, chips, cookies, fruits...) I do NOT live on a bus route. Currently I need someone for four days a week, but that could change. I have two boys a three year old who is potty trained and a 21 month old still in diapers. We also have two dogs that you don't have to worry about. I do ask that the kitchen stay clean and any mess made during the day be picked up when I get home.

* Response from angry CL reader:

29) RE: Babysitter wanted (Tucson)
You want to pay $35 dollars a day for 2 kids?! You're out of your mind! Call it what you will, but what you're looking for is a nanny, and reducing the title to "baby sitter" doesn't mean that you pay less. Anyone you find willing to work at that price is not someone you're going to want to leave your kids with. $35 whole dollars a day, housework, AND 1 whole item of food! Wow! What a deal!

Family seeking serious inquiries only. Offering $800 per month for the following responsibilities: Care and responsibility of well being of four small children, ages 1 through 7.
Light house cleaning (vacuuming,dusting, laundry, dishes)
Cooking lunch/dinner, providing snacks, etc.
Bathing when necessary.
Days needed are: Monday through Thursday from 8:00am until 4:00 pm
Must be certified in CPR/AED Life Saving Class. Experience in childcare appreciated.
Transportation is required, but children will remain in the home at all times. No errands needed. Start date is IMMEDIATELY.
URL: not given

31) Childcare needed in my home (New York)
I have four girls ages 7, 4, 3, 22 month old (diapers)... I have swing set, trampoline, swimming pool, bikes and there is a park in walking distance. I have tons of crafts and games for when it rains! The kids are very easy going, not clingy at all. I would need someone here, in my home, Mon.- Fri. 7am-430pm . I can pay $20 a day, reason being i only make $8hr. I need someone ASAP...I am open to a partial week, if that's what you prefer. Please feel free to e-mail if interested sharlaskidz@****

32) Wanted: Teen Sitter (Las Vegas)
Hello! I am looking for a responsible teen babysittter. I have three kids, ages 10, 7 and 5. I would like someone who is available 2-3 times a month (minimum), some weekends, some week nights. We can pay $6 per hour, and are happy to pick up and drop off the right person. My kids are REALLY easy. Most of the time you would only have to watch them for 30 minutes to an hour before they go to bed. They are fun, well-behaved, and cute. This is a cake job! If interested, you can email me at RebekahLJohnson@**** or text me at 240-498-****. Thanks! Becky
Special thanks to the following Readers for once again giving us a hellacious CL-WTF: mspanyc, mbargielski, krupitzerb, nannybee, nirvanalives, kiddiepsyc, missmannah, mcdirhim, Betty_Spaghetti, sarahvargas1, JulieK1994 and cheesenipsaregood... all of you did a fantastic job! Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO. And don't forget to include the Links!



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