CL - WTF?

Saturday, February 7, 2009
.... What?!

1) Seeking full time nanny/housekeeper (Everett)
Seeking nanny/housekeeper/assistant for my husband and I, and two small boys. My husband and I are professionals with high intensity jobs in the adult entertainment business. If this isn’t ok with you, and you would not feel comfortable working with people in this industry, then we aren’t the match for you. My husband and I in a nutshell: We are free thinkers and probably belong in San Francisco or Manhattan. We have one of the most openly affectionate relationships you will probably ever have seen. We swear a lot, we live life to the fullest, and we are each others’ best friends. We are well off, and we don’t feel the need to explain ourselves to others. We aren’t snobby though, and we don’t pretend that our shit doesn’t stink. Disclaimer: We are both extremely sarcastic people. If you don’t get the slight tongue in cheek feel to what you’re about to read, then you can already be assured you probably won’t like working for us. We need someone 4 days per week, 6 to 7 hours per day, at our house, and one weekend day for 6 to 7 hours at your house preferably (this is negotiable). We need someone who will be working only for us, and someone with no children of their own. The housecleaning/assisting duties will include but not be limited to: -CLEANING. I’m not extremely anal, but I expect my house to smell good and look good – please be attentive to detail. -Dishes. I really need the dishes kept up on. We have a dishwasher; I’m not picky as to how you do them, just as long as they’re in the cupboards waiting to be used, and not in the sink. -Laundry. I travel a lot, and we have two kids. You probably will spend a majority of your time washing and folding clothes. My hubby hates laundry even more than I do, so if there are more than 2 loads piling up, expect that he will probably do them himself and be very unhappy about it. -Vacuuming. My Oreck vacuum cleaner has this delicious fragrance release thing, and I think it’s divine. I want to smell it at least 3 times a week. -Organizing kitchen and household. I like organization – again, NOT anal, but I need my house to fit my personality, and I am a very organized person. Also, please don’t be one of those people that organize things their way. My mother in law does that and it drives me to drink. Please take note of how things are already done, and adapt yourself. I will be your biggest fan for it . -Dusting. I don’t like dust bunnies. I prefer having my dog as a pet. -Cooking for children. Please be at least a decent cook – and no I don’t mean a corn dog and a juice box. We don’t let our children eat junk food or fast food or candy, so please be ready and willing to cook healthy things for them. -Filing, errands, and mail. The qualities we are looking for in someone: -Mature and stable. Please do not be “figuring out your life” or still obsessed with getting to Saturday night so you can go out to the club. -PUNCTUAL AND NOT FLAKY. This is the most important thing. We need at least 2 days notice if you are going to not be available, preferably a week. If you have a serious issue or an emergency, of course, please let us know and we’ll try to work around you. We run a very tight schedule though, and need someone who values their job. We will give 3 warnings for tardiness or calling in at the last minute, and after those 3 warnings, we will fire you. -Educated. You don’t have to have a college degree, but please be able to present yourself as an intelligent, classy person and know how to speak for yourself. -Motivated self starter. My husband is the kind of person who will pick up the slack if he sees something that needs done, and this defeats the whole purpose of paying someone. So please for the love of God, know how to put yourself on task and be on the ball! -Experience with children. Like I said – we need someone without kids – but we do need someone who has extensive experience taking care of other peoples’ children. I don’t however need someone who feels the need to impart parenting advice. My husband and I like the way we do things, and it works for us, so please just be able to fit into our lifestyle. -A positive and loving motivator yet strict disciplinarian. If you don’t feel like you’re ready to deal with a 2 and a half year old who will try every trick in the book to bamboozle you into getting his way, then you’re probably not. We need someone who has dealt with small children before and knows how to lay down the law. -Willing to submit to drug test monthly and background check before starting. If you test positive for drugs at any time during your employment, or come to work visibly hung-over, or we smell alcohol on you, you will be dismissed immediately. Period. -Driving record. If your insurance is $300 a month or you have a DUI, don’t bother applying. You can have some tickets and maybe even an accident, but I need to know that my kids are at least as safe driving with you as they are with me. -5 to 10 business and personal references. No, these can’t be your mom or dad, or your “bestie for life”. Please have references from people you have worked for in the past and people that can attest to your character in an unbiased fashion. If you are still reading this, congratulations! I don’t expect to get a whole lot of responses, but hopefully there is someone out there who could really work with us and our little family here. Thank you for your time, and best of luck with your job search!
Original URL: http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/kid/1014135027.html
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2) Babysitter needed Tonight! (Edgewater)
My friend and I are looking for a babysitter so we can go out tonight for a friend's going away party. We need a kind, kid-loving person to watch our 18-month-old and 8-month-old daughters. We will need someone from 9pm-2am tonight, Saturday, January 31st. We will pay $15 per hour. We will hopefully put them both to bed before we leave so the night should be uneventful. However, if either one of them wake up they will need loving attention. The 18-month-old will know mom is gone so she will need patience and diversions such as reading and playing until she calms down...but hopefully they will both sleep until we get home. If someone is interested in coming to our condo to watch our precious daughters please send me an email. Please include any prior experience that have with children. Thanks, Carrie
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/kid/1015522398.html
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3) Sit at my house and eat my food while my baby sleeps (Lakewood)
Hi! I have a 1 year old son. He is a good boy, happy and friendly. I will start a new job Monday, February 16th. It would be nights, 6 p.m.-2a.m. We would discuss pay, and I'm open to most anything. This would be a good opportunity for students, or I'm okay if you bring your own kids. Pregnant teens wouldn't be discriminated, I just want someone who is caring and could put my baby to bed. I'm lenient too, so if you have a problem making it one night that's not problem (as long ass it doesn't show a pattern.) You could bring your computer and use my wireless, or bring movies, I don't have T.V. But I have a big problem if you aren't going to be on time every day. I won't wait for you. Thanks, Shoot me an e-mail if you're interested. I implied that the applicant would be a woman, but guys are fine too!
Original URL: http://denver.craigslist.org/dmg/1017418906.html
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4) Bring 'em Young Academy (Northwest/215 & Decatur)
Licensed in home child care provider. I love children and now have the opportunity to love your child and provide a healthy learning environment for ages 12 months to 12 years. At Bring'em Young Academy we offer creative learning centers, projects each day, toddler & preschool curriculum, theme based circle time, lunch and snacks. Time of operation is 6:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. To register call Gloria at 702-273-****
Original URL: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/kid/1021583925.html
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5) I help you, you help me (Nellis and Sahara)
I'm 21 years old, I'm a single mom with a 2 year old daughter, and alot of debt. My biggest challenge is a car that my ex and I got together that was repossessed. He said he wanted it when we split up but then he never made the payments. So he's filing for bankruptcy and I cosigned so now I've got to pay the remaining balance. I'm doing good with the rest of my debt and that should all be paid on sometime this year. The car will take several years though. I can only afford to pay about $100/month, maybe $200 after the rest of my bills are done and I need to find another job to help pay that off sooner. The economy is horrible right now and jobs are scarce so I figured I'd try this. I'd like to babysit for some extra cash to go towards my car debt. I love kids, especially babies. I have a full time job so I'm only available evenings during the week and anytime during the weekend. I can be very flexible and don't want very much. Right now, my boyfriend and I are watching a 4 month old boy on and off so I'd really only like to take on 1 more kid since we live in an apartment. Any age is fine. The only experience I have is being a mother and babysitting for friends and family. I'm very responsible, reliable, honest, caring, etc. I know how hard it is to find someone that you trust with your child's life. I'm very patient and fun. My daughter is amazing with the baby we already watch. She just sits there and lets him smack her and whack her with his toys, lol. It's cute. Your kid would never be left alone, EVER, and I can provide meals. I like to take my daughter to the park alot so your kid would get to be outside and have fun. I have no criminal record and I have a great full time job, which I'll give you details about if you're interested. I can pick up/drop off as long as you don't live too far. Just email me and we can work something out. I can do overnights if that's what's needed also. Thanks.
Original URL: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/kid/1019396059.html
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6) Driver wanted to drop and pick up Nanny from bus stop (Oakton)
Need a responsible driver to pick up our nanny from the bus stop in the morning and drop her in the evening. The bus stop is 1.35 miles away from our home in Oakton, VA. Bus stop is located at Jermantown Rd and Oakton Rd. Morning pick-up will be at 7:30 am. Evening drop-off will be at 5:45 pm. M-F Compensation: $30 - $50 Thanks, Neil
Original URL: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/dmg/1017941443.html
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7) Will sit for free on Valentine's Day (Westside / South Bay)
If you want to go out for Valentines Day can't afford it, I would love to help you out. I'm located just north of LAX near El Segundo Westchester and Inglewood. This is totally legit...no catches.
Original URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/kid/1021559343.html
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8) Need Babysitters for Events (Las Vegas)
Looking for fun loving, easy going baby sitters, must be good with kids, and enjoy motorcycles! Tons of kids, parents will be present...just need someone to keep an eye on the kids while we manage events, and our guests enjoy themselves. Our next big thing will be Easter weekend. Looking forward to hearing from you. There will be no pay, but since your probably not licensed anyway, doesnt much matter. Will be tips for sure!
Original URL: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/kid/1017783619.html
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9) Overnight sitter needed for 2 year old (ches/va beach/norf)
I am a single mother and would need an overnight sitter for occasional nights. If you are available as soon as tonight that would be great!! Also, looking for someone to watch my tot on Valentine's Day. This could be an ongoing thing for the right person. Please send me an email with your RATE!! Thanks so much :) No dogs please (allergies)
Original URL: http://norfolk.craigslist.org/kid/1014325656.html
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10) Looking for experienced Live in Nanny (Silver Lake)
We are a working couple with a 3 year old and a 6 month old. Our days are very busy starting at 7 am and go on till 7:30 pm. We are looking for someone who wants to be a part of the family, and is willing to work 7 days a week. There is downtime on the weekends, though we work on some weekends, for which we will need you to work. Generally, during the week you will be free after 7:30 pm. Duties include mainly looking after the baby, cooking a meal for the family in the evening and light housekeeping such as cleaning dishes and toys and cleaning up after the kids and kids laundry. We generally maintain a vegetarian household. We will provide living accommodations. We need someone who is experienced, and looking for a long term job. If you have the qualifications and a good temperament and need a job we would like to hear from you. Salary offered is approximately 1800-2000$ per month based on your experience.
Original URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/kid/1022990574.html
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.... How Much?!

11) Jill of all Trades (Lawrenceville, Ga)
We are in immediate need of a nanny/housekeeper/home health aide. Primary responsibilities will be to take care of my elderly father. He is bound to his bed and needs help physically with daily activities. We also have a seven year old and a three year old. In exchange for these duties, we are offering free room and board. The room is a master suite size with a walk in closet and full bath. It can also be accessed via outside from the door leading to back of house. If interested, please call 678-373-**** and ask for Tyrone or Karen.
Original URL: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/dmg/1005640357.html
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12) Childcare Needed (Palatine)
I am looking for a babysitter from 11:30 am - 2 pm on Tuesday. I live in Palatine and have a very fun and loving two year old. I am open to a mom with a child, or a grandmother. There is also opportunity for more hours during the evening, and definitly more hours during the summer. I can't really afford much probably $15 right now for those 2 1/2. I live near IL-53 and Dundee Rd. I am looking to fill this position as soon as possible so please let me know if you are intrested. Thank you Mowie :)
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwc/kid/1015891476.html
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13) Babysitter wanted (Bedstuy)
Greetings, I am looking for someone to watch my beautiful 5 month old son at my home. The position is 5 days a week from 7:30am - 6 pm . The persons applying for this position should provide references from previous employers as well as a detailed resume. Ideal canidate should be outgoing and loving. Offer a wide array of educational activities. Be willing to take child on walks. Non- Smoker I will be holding interviews this Saturday 3PM- 5PM and Sunday 12 noon- 3pm. I will notify the candidate asap to begin on Monday. SERIOUS INQUIRES ONLY!!! This position would start as early as 02/09/09. This salary is weekly not daily. I realize it is a low pay so I assume it would be ideal for someone not to pressed financily. Salary is between $100-$150 a week plus a weekly metro card will be provided.
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/kid/1023760100.html
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14) Childcare/Live out Nanny/babysitter pt (Madison West)
Looking for someone to watch my 16 month old son in my home. I live by High Point and Mineral Point rd. You can bring your child/baby with you. I am thinking 5$/hr, probably four hours a day. Start time would be around 10-10:30am. My husband is a beer delivery guy and his hours will very. Most times he gets home around 2:30. Sometimes before and sometimes after. If he gets home before 1pm I will guarantee 20$ for making the trip. I would like references and present and previous jobs. Heidi
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1019643678.html
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15) Babysitter/Mothers Helper/Au Pair/Nanny NEEDED NOW (Nassau County)
We have two children under 5 and are looking for a fantastic person who is trustworthy/honest/sincere to come to our long island home fulltime (45-50 hours a week). Live in or out. The salary is based on experience and arrangements. The hours can be longer or short, with or without cleaning. A car isn't required for the job and one will not be provided. We are looking to pay between $175 to $300 a week based on the above. You must have excellent references, speak english, be energetic, loving and able to teach/play appropriate educational games with both children. You must be extremely confident in your abilities and know that you can accomplish what you put your mind to. Serious applicants only that are non-smoker, drug-free and mentally sane. Hope to hear from you. Thank you. Note: No Agencies. If your looking for live-out you must live on Long Island.
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/kid/1017009755.html
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16) I need childcare for my 2 kids (Cedar Park)
I need childcare for my two kids (3 and 5) and possibily for my 3 month old once she reaches a year. I will need someone from 8am-6pm sometimes I might get stuck in traffic and be late so I need someone who wont charge a late fee. My kids are well behaved for the most part, but they're not perfect as no child is and sometimes they fight but they're brother and sister that is to be expected. They are potty trained but sometimes my 3 year old will poop/pee in his underwear. My 5 year old has breathing issues and needs someone who can give her her breathing meds about 3 times a day and it only takes 15 minutes. She wont need it all the time just sometimes. I'm looking to pay between $200 and $245 a week BUT NO MORE and I need you to supply all meals and offer learning and arts and crafts. My job will NOT allow me to take any days off so you must be open Monday-Friday with NO days off for any holiday plus I can't afford to pay for care that I'm not getting. If you think you can work with me please email me. I need someone to start by next Monday.
Original URL: http://austin.craigslist.org/kid/1017848430.html
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17) MOTHER'S HELPER/NANNY NEEDED!!!! (Hwy.105E/77328- near Fostoria)
Our family is in need of a kind hearted, educated, RELIABLE, Christian woman who loves children, has a VERY flexible schedule, and wants to earn extra income while helping out with our household. We are blessed with three adorable girls ages five, three, and two. You must know or be willing to learn about Type 1 Diabetes and CPR. A reliable car, insurance, and good driving record are required. There will be some cooking, driving, light housework, and other mother's helper type jobs as well as education and fun! You must be a non-smoker. We may require an occasional overnight stay. References and a background check will be performed. This is a long term permanent position. Mom is a flight attendant who goes on occasional flights and Dad works long hours. We need someone who is available for THREE or FOUR CONSECUTIVE days a week when Mom flies - 6:30am to 6:30pm (This will not work for students). The mornings may be a little later and days may not be consecutive when Mom is not flying. Pay is $80 per day plus $20 a week for gas (minimum/$260 for 3 day work week). We also need one weekend night a month for a date night, and someone who is willing to go with us on vacation! Our girls are the most important part of our lives and we hope to find someone who will truely care for them and have their best interest at heart!!
Original URL: http://houston.craigslist.org/kid/1016585486.html
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18) Weekend Nanny needed (South Austin)
Hello, My name is Brandy. I work for the Sheriff's office here in Travis County. I am currently looking for a sitter for my 3yr old son, Caleb. The times needed are for sat/sun 200pm drop off and 1130pm pick up.I have a tight budget due to a recent divorce so I am only able to pay $25.00 a day.Please contact me at 512.903.**** if interested. Thank You!
Original URL: http://austin.craigslist.org/kid/1013149599.html
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19) Nanny NEEDED M-Tu-Wed weekly, permanent (Aliante)
I need someone here at 7:30am-5:45pm Mon,Tues, and Wed, for 3 younger kids. One gets walked to school at 8:45 and picked up at 3:20, so she is gone most of the day. I can pay $200 per week, and weeks where Monday is a holiday, the other 2 days will pay $75 each. We have extra carseats and we have a park right behind us to keep the kids busy. If you are interested please send a summary of work experience or resume. Please do not respond if you are looking for more hours or money than this- Kids are easily heartbroken by nannies who flake.
Original URL: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/kid/1018598615.html
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20) I NEED SOMEONE ON VALENTINE'S DAY & NIGHT IN MY HM (Ft. Meade Base)
Hi I am looking for someone to stay the day and evening with my children in my home for V-day. My hubbie just came back from deployment so we want to spend the night in a hotel or something like that. I am looking to pay 40.00 pls call me if interested. I need someone reliable, patient, and has common sense. 410-874-**** Thanks
Original URL: http://baltimore.craigslist.org/kid/1017519702.html
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21) Babysitter/Nanny (US60 & Ironwood)
My wife and I are looking to hire a part time sitter/nanny for care of our 19Month & 7month old children, in our home. The times for this position would be roughly 7am to Noon Monday thru Thursday. We are looking to pay $75/week.... We live in the far East valley off Ironwood Ave & US60. We're unsure if these time will work for anyone but if you elect to take on this roll, you really need to be commited to it. Both children are VERY easy to manage the way our home is structured. Basically this position is being created so I can get some sleep, while you watch the kids downstairs. You'll have full access to wireless internet, kitchen, food so if your a student with afternoon classes this may be perfect. Make breakfast here in the morning, eat lunch before you go type deal. If this type of situation works for you, please let us know as soon as possible. Lastly expect a response in just a few hours, and if we do not hear back from you within the same timeframe you won't be considered. We had more then a few request an interview, and amazingly the only solid commitment came from a very nice teenager. Thanks.
Original URL: http://phoenix.craigslist.org/evl/dmg/1015232343.html
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Special thanks this week to: seadreamer, stickthelanding, MissDee, northjerseynanny, Chrissya and several Anonymous Contributor's.... you did a great job! Remember: CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday... please send next weeks Ads HERE.

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