CL - WTF?

Saturday, May 2, 2009.
.... What?!

1) Self Defense for Infants! (New Jersey)
Your Baby Will Never Be Defenseless Again! It is estimated that 93% of all infant abductions could have been prevented if only the infant in question had been able to defend itself against the abductor. It is time for parents to be more proactive about the safety of their child and educate their young early in the art of self-defense. This is where we come in. Our panel of instructors will use their combined 11 and 3/4 months of combat expertise and training to start your baby on the road to being a well-disciplined martial arts master. At just two weeks of age your child could start learning the fundamentals of our proven program with techniques ranging from basic open palm stun slaps to the Luna Chi (Harmony of the Moon) drunken boxing/Brazilian dance fighting style. Our program starts shortly after the child is acclimated to breast feeding and takes the infant through a rigorous training schedule that culminates in our advanced speed shooting course right here at our facilities’ miniaturized firing range. We believe a combination of real world melee techniques and handgun exercises are the perfect complimentary training techniques to keeping your baby safe and able to operate even complex clip-loaded and revolver style weapons should the parent become incapacitated during an exchange of fire. Courses are available nights and weekends and makeup sessions are scheduled to fit your busy lifestyle. Classes start June 1st and enrollment fills quickly. Please email us with any questions and we will provide quick links to our downloadable schedule in PDF format as well as our handy online insurance waiver.
Original URL: http://newjersey.craigslist.org/kid/1144252755.html
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2) Need a Sitter on Standby (Ideal College Student) (Senatobia)
Looking for someone reliable, honest and patient to care for my two kids on occassions while I go out for the evening. I am a single mother that needs a break and able to go out for adult time to keep my insanity. Would like to be able to call anytime and say Hey can you come watch the kids for me tonight or tomorrow night. Must have references and good sense of moral values and very good hygene.
Original URL: http://northmiss.craigslist.org/kid/1139380676.html
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3) I am the one to babysit your kids!! (LaCrosse)
I am great with kids!!!!!!!I have taken the babysitter class!! I am 11 years old!!!! I will take very good care of your kids!!!! I charge $4 per kid per hour. If you would like me to babysit your kid email me or call my cell @ 1-608-633-**** Thanks Gabi B**** PS I can Babysit on weekends and some Weeknights Thanks agian
Original URL: http://lacrosse.craigslist.org/kid/1144892778.html
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4) Need a sitter tonight - April 30, Thursday @ 5:30 (Denton)
My hubby and I are in need of a sitter this evening at 5:30 pm. Our daughter is 3 years old (almost 4). Please email me your information if interested in the job. We live in on the TWU campus in Denton in the married housing apartments. My daughter will be going to bed around 9 or 9:30 so it will be a pretty easy night. While she is awake, she is a blast. We will be home around midnight at the latest possibly earlier. If interested let me know how much you charge and what type of experience you have...do not forget to leave a phone number so that I can get in touch with you. Thank you and we look forward to hearing from you. Below is a picture of her: Cari
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/kid/1147405185.html
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5) Grand Father Time For Hire (Dallas S of LBJ)
Hello, I am an older gentleman without a family, never married, ( but happy ), sought education and a military career above family. Willing to help out with child care including new borns ( I know how to change diapers and read stories ) ; for almost nothing. I have a decent job and don't need the money. This would be great to be a giver to a family a few hours, say one night per week . South of the LBJ Loop - in the Mid Dallas Area Please. I can help out with the cooking as well. I am a non drinker, non smoker, absolutely no Meds type of a person... healthy eating. So to recap, I would like to drop in on a family, mingle, and help with the cooking for a few hours once a week. . Please contact me at: Oceanswimmerz@****
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/kid/1147618521.html
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6) Wet Nurse/Breast Milk (Chicago, Oak Park, Anywhere Needed)
Hello, I am a mother on a nine month old who is moving on to baby food now and would like to help if any adoptive parents, moms that can't produce milk, or any parents are looking for breast milk. Willing to do all tests and screening. Contact me for more info. Please only serious parents who understand the great benefits that breast milk has for babies.
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/kid/1148118317.html
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7) Nanny for hire ASAP (Logan Square/Humboldt Park)
I am a 21 year old who just moved to the city. I need a job immediately, and would love for that job to be caring for your child(ren). I am currently taking a break from college to get some real world experience and save up some money. My major when I was in school was Early Elementary Education. I have years of experience with infants to teenagers and have watched up to 5 kids at a time. A few things that I would like to be upfront about: I am a vegan, and though this is not a must, I would feel most comfortable feeding your children a meat-free vegetarian (not necessarily vegan) diet when I must provide meals. But again, THIS IS NOT A MUST. I have tattoos that as it gets warmer would be harder to cover up. Though I can try, if that's an issue. I have a lip piercing that I can take out if that is also an issue, but it would be a hassle I'd prefer to avoid. If you are interested please contact me immediately so we can start talking and figure out if we're a good fit. Thanks so much for your time.
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/kid/1148678250.html
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8) I need help!!!! (Laurel)
I am a single Dad that has two kids, one 15 months and the other four. I can not do it by myself. I am 37 and work weekends, I am a park ranger. I have a huge old Southern Home here in Laurel, so live in OK. The house has five bedrooms. The rent would be free and there would be weekly compensation. Must be intelligent and young. The kids are great, but active. Email if this is you.
Original URL: http://hattiesburg.craigslist.org/kid/1126103228.html
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9) I need a sitter ASAP (not due to school closings) (Hulen/FTW)
I am in need of a sitter who can come to my home Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays 6am-4:30pm for my 3 year old daughter. I need someone who could possibly start tomorrow or at least by Monday. I need someone with very reasonable rates. Please do not respond if you are not willing to come to my home. mauresa01@****
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/kid/1147420464.html
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10) Nanny look for a job ASAP (Concord,acton,carlile,litleton,weston-MA)
Hi my name is leidiane,and I have been a nanny for morer the 6 years.and i'm look for 3 full day.good drive record,own car legal to work in USA. I can do landry,cook,light house clean. Just give a call any time at (978)496-****
Original URL: http://boston.craigslist.org/bmw/kid/1147954283.html
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11) Need a sitter for tomorow (Plano)
I am looking for childcare for my 20 month old son tomorow between 8am till around 5 ish. I am a single mom and cant afford alot but i always want my son to go to someone who will take care of him. I would prefer someone who either takes care of kids or someone with kids so there will be toys for him to play with. He is a very good kid and listens well. I would like the price that i am given to include his meals like breakfast and lunch and maybe a snack so i dont have to pack everything. I would prefer someone close to the plano area so its easy for me to drop him off. Please email me if you could watch my little one for me with rates and a phone number, Thank you.. Carrie
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/kid/1149191036.html
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12) NEED A SITTER FOR TONIGHT (Cheyenne/Rancho)
IM A SINGLE MOTHER AND REALLY NEED A NIGHT OFF. I HAVE A 15 MONTH OLD SON NAMED CONNOR. I CAN PAY $50 FOR THE NIGHT. IM NOT RICH. SORRY. IM JUST VERY STRESSED. MY NAME IS STACIE IM 22. NOT GOING OUT TO PARTY. JUST NEEDING A QUIET NIGHT. PLEASE!!!! CALL (702)773-****
Original URL: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/kid/1150186169.html
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13) Babysitting (10th and Bainbridge)
Hello there. I am looking for someone that can watch my son Ethan this Saturday May 2nd. I would need the person to watch him from 1:30 to around 5pm. I may be back earlier not exactly sure how long the interview will take. Ethan is 2 years old and a very easy going child. He loves Barney, and Elmo and going outside. I have a little yard area outside of my apartment, or you can pick a movie or a show from On Demand to watch. I will be willing to pay $10 an hour. If you are interested send me and email.
Original URL: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/dmg/1145801698.html
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14) NEED SITTER WITH VAN (OR GOOD DRIVING RECORD) TP PICK UP MY CHILDREN (Bensalem)
I AM LOOKING FOR A COLLEGE STUDENT OR MAYBE A RETIREE TO PICK UP MY FIVE CHILDREN 2 TIMES A WEEK AND BRING THEM TO THE PARK ETC.. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ACTUALLY BABYSIT YOU JUST HAVE TO DRIVE, WAIT, AND DRIVE THEM BACK ( YOU CAN EVEN BRING YOUR OWN CHILD ALONG) THIS IS MORE A DRIVING POSITION THAN BABYSITTING, YOU MUST HAVE A GOOD DRIVING RECORD, YOU WILL BE RUN THREW CHILDREN CLEARANCES ETC..... I WILL PAY 10/HR YOU WILL BASICALLY HAVE ABOUT 20-30MIN OF DRIVING TOTAL, THE REST OF THE TIME YOU ARE FREE TO SIT AND READ! THIS WILL BE TWICE A WEEK AT YOUR CONVIENENCE, FOR ABOUT 2-3HRS AT A TIME EMAIL ME IF Y0U ARE IN NEED OF A LITTLE EXTRA CASH THANK YOU *IF YOU HAVE AN EXCELLENT RECORD I MAY LET YOU TAKE MY VAN
Original URL: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/dmg/1145813126.html
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15) Looking for a great babysitter... (Apple Valley)
Hello, I have a 3 year old that is very outgoing and easy to get along with. My husband and I already have a few babysitter on hand but would like to have one more. We rotate to give everyone a chance! What we are looking for: >Between the ages of 11-16 (11 only if you have taken the babysitters course) >>Own transportation but we are willing to help out occasionally when needed >>>Available week nights and weekends vary (we will accommodate to your curfew) We don't have a set schedule just the random date night or outing, usually ends up being at least once a week. >>>>But most importantly, someone who is very outgoing that's going to get down on the floor and play with our child or even go outside... and of course, to just have a good time! We are willing to pay $4/hr (that is also the reason we would like a younger sitter...not only that, but I find my child getting along with the younger babysitters better) We're not looking for you to clean our house (just the mess you make), or have an agenda for the night/day. You also are invited to eat whatever food we have, which is usually quite a selection :) E-mail me if you are interested, we would love to meet you and your parents are welcome as well. **Please do not e-mail me if you are older than 16 years and/or want more money. Thank you!
Original URL: http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/kid/1136661953.html
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.... How Much?!

16) Summertime Nanny Needed for two AWESOME kids!! (Eagan)
Deal or no deal.... Here is the description: Loving family seeks a fun loving, outgoing, responsible person to have fun with our children this summer! The children are ages nine (girl) and seven (boy). Hours needed would be Monday through Friday 7:45 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. Expectations: Keep our children happy and safe, make breakfast and lunches, clean up after meal prep. Please send a description of yourself! Payday every Friday afternoon; $205 per week.
Original URL: http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/dmg/1137405753.html
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17) Needed SAHM (Saint Paul)
Hi Im looking for back up childcare for my 8 month old daughter. I have not had anyone babysit outside of the family so Im going to want to check refrences and such Im also going to be very picky as well. Im starting a new job and need back up care incase her aunt cant do it I would need last minute. I work monday - friday 10-5. My baby is very easy going and happy she is easily pleased I want some one to treat her as their own.I would like the sitting to be done in my house so you have to be very trust worthy and honest and comfortable with cats and dogs.You may also bring your own child with that isnt a problem. I cant afford much about 20-25 bucks a day. I would like someone with childcare expierence and first aid and cpr certified would be nice. If you think your a match email me and we can chat. Thanks Monica and Family
Original URL: http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/kid/1139727440.html
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18) LIVE-IN NANNY WANTED ROOM AND BOARD INCLUDED (Des Plaines)
In search of a compatible live-in nanny for your two year old son. Due the drop in economy the salary is not high however dependable. $300 week for live-in, live-in must be available 9:30am-9:30pm M-F, weekends on call. Must have valid ID, non-smoker, drug free, no criminal background. The position is simple, feeding(food provided), diaper changes(provided), bathing, watching him play and sleep. Serious replies only! Dave or Jana 847-239-**** ***Own private room, closet, and bathroom***Paking spot also available, vehicle may be provided if all arangments are made Cooking and house cleaning is not expect of you however is always appreciated Visitors are not allowed inside the apartment ***Your Room&Board is provided at no extra cost to you, we are looking for something long-term*** You must be at least 21 years of age, no criminal or drug history, have own cell phone, previous references, vaild ID/drivers license. Also if you have children yourself we can make arrangements.
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/kid/1139467805.html
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19) wanted in home care (Madison)
hello single mother of one 6 year old little boy i am in need of someone comming to my house and watching him while i am at work the hours are 10p.m to 6 30 a.m sunday night threw wednesday morning i am willing to pay up to 3 an hour cause of the bills and stuff i do have a computer on internet and cable and my son does have the WII system that you could play if any interest to you let me know if you could help me out i do have two cats and a dog but not my dog
Original URL: http://madison.craigslist.org/kid/1144731459.html
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20) Summer Nanny for June and August (Braintree/Randolph)
We are seeking a full time nanny/babysitter for our boys ages 4 and 6. The hours will be from 7:30/8:00am to 5:30/6:00pm 4 days a week and 9:00am - 3:00pm on Fridays. The person will take care of the children 2 days in Braintree and 3 days in Randolph. Responsibilities will include morning routine, feeding the boys, taking them to the pool, out to ride bikes, to play dates as scheduled and various museums where we are members. The children are fun loving and curious boys. The person we hire will need to have a valid driver's license and their own insured vehicle. The job begins June 1st (there is flexibility on the start date). Compensation: $350 - $400/week cash
Original URL: http://boston.craigslist.org/sob/dmg/1145734093.html
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21) Young Sitters/Helpers Wanted (Winchester)
Seeking young helpers 7+ years old to help watch and play with 19 month old very active baby boy. Mother or grandmother would always be home as well. Will pay $3/ hour. Thanks!
Original URL: http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/kid/1147286359.html
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22) Part time babysitter needed ASAP ( Hobart IN)
I need a part time babysitter for an over night position. 2-3 days per week. Hours needed would typically start at 8:15 pm and can leave by 4:15 am at the latest or whenever you wake up. I put the kids to bed. There will not be much work involved. Some nights you may be done by midnight. This would be an ideal job for a highschool or college student. Under 17 yrs of age please do not apply. If interested, please call Tiffany at 219-487-**** Compensation: $30/ night
Original URL: http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/dmg/1146165959.html
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23) Child Care Needed for May 12 - June 12 (Haltom City TX)
Hello! I am a working mother, who is 7 months pregnant with my second child. I am taking maternity leave June 12th. I will need a babysitter or child care for my son for 4 weeks, dates of May 12th- June 12th. I would very much like someone to come to my home to watch him, as I feel he is more comfortable in the environment. I am willing however to take him to a day care or in home daycare as well. Here are the specifics: Job: 7:00am-5:00pm M-F (some weeks will only be tuesday-friday) My son: Hayden 13 months old Hayden is on a schedule routine, and takes 2 naps during the day. He has been walking since he was 8 months old, and drinks from cups. He does not eat baby food, and has 12 teeth already so he can chew very well. He usually feeds himself if the food is not liquidy or has any kind of sauce. Those things (like spaghetti-o's) have to be fed to him. He is the most adorable thing ever! If you have an at-home day care, I prefer you to be registered with the state. I will also have to visit your home and let my son meet you before you begin to take care of him. Requirements: at least 3 years of babysitting/childcare experience CPR certification requested, but not required 3-5 references (can include past babysitting jobs/ 1 or 2 can be family members) 17+ Email me with your resume please :) Compensation: $100/wk (80/wk on 4 day week) Thank you Lisa
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/dmg/1148053275.html
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24) Childcare $25 a week (Dallas)
I want to help out, so I'm offering childcare in my home for only $25 a week. You will need to supply food, diapers and wipes.
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/kid/1149592686.html
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25) 3rd shift Childcare needed ASAP (Walnut Hill & Shady Trails)
I am looking for an in-home daycare that provides late night care in the Walnut Hill area. I live near Walnut Hill Rd. and Shady Trails and work at the Wild Turkey about 5 minutes away. I am looking for something within walking distance. Alternatively, if you are a current nanny/babysitter and can provide a reference and would be willing to do childcare in your home during the evening hours, please contact me. My son is 16 months old and goes to sleep between 7 and 8 PM. I will do my best to bring you a tired baby so that he sleeps the entire time! I need care from about 6 PM to about 3AM. I am looking to pay about $15/night. I will bring his sleeping bag, pillow and blanket along with a sippy cup of milk for him. You do not need to provide anything at all except a SAFE environment. Females only! I would prefer either a mature high school student with parents in the house, or someone with children of their own. you will not get rich babysitting for me---sorry. I know that the pay is low, but it is all that I can afford. If you are interested and i feel you are a good match, you can start Friday night. Please CALL ---do not email--- at 757-383-****. Thank you!
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/kid/1148639837.html
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26) I need childcare by Monday!!! Mom of 3!!! (Arlington)
Hi my name is Heather and I previously posted about childcare for my 3 daughters ages 2 1/2 months, 23 months and 3 1/2 years and we thought we had found our sitter but today she informed me that she would be unable to take my girls!! So needless to say I HAVE to return to work on Monday and we need childcare!! I really want someone with children around my girls ages, they really want friends, esp my oldest daughter! Wanting to pay 300 per week and I will be needing childcare from 930 or 10 AM until 7 PM - Monday through Friday ONLY! So please if you can help us SEND ME AN EMAIL NOW!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/kid/1148286616.html
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27) Needed babysitter 3 children at night (Bayshore/Long Island)
Hello I need a babysitter for three small children at night from around 9:00pm-6:00am Schedule 7 days a week payrate $420 a week *experience a must *references a must *must come to my home in Bayshore *must love children *please send me your phone number/name/ ressume or references Thankyou
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/dmg/1145822233.html
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28) Need summer sitter for 2 girls age 8-11 (Watauga)
We are looking for someone to watch our 3 girls this summer, tues-fri (4 days a week). EZ job for college or HS kid for summer. These girls are 8 and 11, very independent and just need someone responsible around to make meals and in case of an emergency and so that they don't burn the house down! We have cable and internet that you are welcome to use while you are here. We also have a backyard. Person we are looking for also needs to like dogs, we have 2 little pomeranians. They are cute and very well behaved. We also live in a nice, safe area. We will pay $80 week ($20 per day). If you are interested, please reply with an email containing information about you and any experience you might have. Thank you
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/mdf/kid/1148048651.html
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29) Childcare Provider/Babysitter (Twin Cities)
I am a college student looking for a responsible individual to provide temporary care for my 5yr son M-F 7:30am-12:00pm. I prefer a home maker who is trying to make a little extra cash on the side but not required however previous experience in providing care for young children also prefered. I would also like to add that the perfect candidate would live in St. Paul or Egan or any city between the two. My son is a 5yr old and is potty trained well behaved and energetic and loves animals. He will have already eaten breakfast before arrival. Most of the time I pack lunches but NOT ALL THE TIME. I cannot stress enough that I am looking for someone who is RESPONSIBLE and a RELIABLE individual and who GENUINELY loves to be around children. If intrested send me an e-mail and leave your name and number I will contact you as soon as possible.
Original URL: http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/edu/1146666111.html
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30) Need FT Summer Nanny (Allen)
I am currently in need of a FT summer nanny. I live in Allen and have 2 children ages 5 and 6. They get along great and entertain themselves. We are a young and pretty laid back family. This opportunity would be perfect for a teacher, high school student (16+) or college student with babysitting experience. Prefer a Christian and someone relatively local, must be a non-smoker, have own transportation and love pets. Hours are M-F 7-4:30pm, summer only. Salary is approx. $200+/- per week depending. Possible additional hours (5-10 hrs per week) in the Fall if desired. I would also entertain the idea of a nanny in exchange for room and board with a small salary. I am NOT interested in daycares of any kind. Please contact Kelly Tucker at 704-724-**** or via email. Thanks
Original URL: http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/kid/1147264146.html
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Special thanks to: northjerseynanny and cdhere25, for both sending in our Feature Ad! And I would like to give Honorable mention to melwaldman for the 2nd Ad... very funny! Also, afnt81 and MissDee... all of you did a great job this week! Remember: CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday... please send next weeks Ads HERE.

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