Homework Hell...and it's not over!

Dianne Morrison Robinson

   Does anyone else have to do homework with their kiddos? I have two school aged kiddos. The oldest is 11. He is so resistant to homework that he cries, screams, hits me, throws his homework, kicks the counter, throws chairs, wads up paper, tears books, curses, etc.

    They both go to a prestigious school and the younger has normal resistance to homework like 'do I have to' and "YES!". 

     The parents aren't there to see this but they want the homework done by the time they get home because they don't want to deal with it. When I complained about being hit by the kid, they looked at me like I was silly. At one time I suggested he get extra help at school or a tutor and they got mad at me for trying to get out of doing my job. The father told me once that if I couldn't do the job, he could find someone who could.

   I have anxiety every day M-Th because I know it is going to be an issue. I have tried everything. Here's the kicker. I have only been here five months. When the child is carrying on screaming, swearing, he even threw pepper in my eyes once, he screams "JUST DO IT FOR ME" and "I want Gracie back". Gracie was their last nanny who couldn't deal with his behavior, so she just did his homework, making it harder for me! We have one week of school left. But guess what? Summer enrichment program is July and August, 4 hours a day and homework.  If things don't change with the enrichment program, I don't see what option I have except to just do it for him. It would be faster and more peaceful and my job would be easier. And part of me thinks that's what these parents want, because they sure can't handle hearing about any problems.

Anyone have any advice before a good nanny goes bad?

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The Not So Wicked Stepmother

This is part information, part rant. I have worked for a family for three years. It wasn't until we got into the second year that I started meeting the (divorced) father's girlfriend.  He only introduced her to the children because they were serious and they have now been married for five months. The biological mother and father rotate custody of the children, one week here, one week there.

If you think you have it tough being taken seriously as the nanny, try being the stepmother. Let me paint a picture, tall, beautiful, great body and 28 years old where most moms are in their 40's and beyond. Trust me, I wanted t hate her when I met her. I wanted to believe she was dull, dumb, vain, in it for the money, hated children, etc. None of this is true.

The biological mother and she do not get along, but I expect over time that will change. I just feel so bad for this woman. People ask her if she's the nanny. When she says no, they say "au pair" and "oh housekeeper?" It doesn't seem accidental. It seems intentional. The teachers and activity directors and bitchy UWS moms are nicer to the me than they are her. They simply won't give her a shot.

She's taken over packing the children's lunches. A domestic chore, I used to do. She leaves funny notes or drawings in their bag.  She doesn't have to but tries to get out of work by 4 on the weeks that the children are here so she can be present. She helps with homework. She has more patience than I do, and I'm patient. She prepares healthy snacks. If a child asks to go the park, she asks the child if she can take them. I could be concerned that she was stealing my job, but she's only making my job easier for me.

Last week, one of the classroom moms and she had a confrontation. The stepmother stated that she had offered multiple times to help with a booth and no one had gotten back to her. The classroom mom said, "You don't expect us to take you seriously". I was right there. I heard it. It was humiliating.

So, if you're a mom or classmom or teacher or soccer coach and Dad has a new, younger wife. Don't assume that she's a non involved ditz. This woman is trying and the mixed signals the kids receive from teachers and people of power are making things very hard on her. I've seen her in tears. Don't be so judgmental. Be kind. Take time to get to know someone, whether it's a stepmom or a nanny.

Something on your mind? Email isynblog@gmail.com.