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| Marsela Hajdinjak |
I don't work long term jobs anymore, because I travel, so I take assignments that are anywhere to between 1 week and 3 months. This last job I took is to go through labor Day.
I am taking care of twins that are seven weeks old. They had a baby nurse for the first week and found a nanny they liked but she had a delay to when she could start so I am filling the void.
I am working 8-8 Sunday-Thursday.
The problem I have is that I told them I was not in favor of cry it out and specifically that I thought that was cruel. The mom is obsessed with getting them on a schedule, eating and sleeping. Again, they are only seven weeks old and were born almost 3 weeks premature. Because the days are so long and because I live in the city and they in Bergen County, I am living in during the work week. This means I have to hear the tortured cries of these children!
Most of my clients have been in the city, and in Greenwich, CT. I am curious how common this is in NJ? Is the predominate feeling among educated, upper class people to allow their children to cry it out? If you were a nanny or a parent who wanted your child on a strict schedule and wanted to have the child cry it out, but no longer believe in that, is there something that swayed your opinion that I could possibly bring to this mother's attention? These are her first children. I was thinking of getting her a copy of the fourth trimester. I don't want to come across as a know it all because the job will really set me up well for my next extracurricular adventure and I enjoy collecting references from the families I work for, especially the more long term assignments.
Before I resign myself to sleeping in noise canceling headphones, should I attempt to convince the mom that it is too soon to put the children on a schedule or to let them CIO? While I have the children, she is not involved very much, at least she puts no requirements on me except as to when the last feeding of the day will be and the first, and that she does not want the babies to sleep from 430-7PM. Beyond that, I do not let them cry. I am not a baby nurse, just a nanny, but I think it's really odd and cruel that she lets them cry during the night. She sets and alarm to wake, feed and change them. And then she returns them to bed. I don't get in to the specifics of it with her because I do the tummy time and swing time and walks, so I am there to respond to them immediately. I don't change their diapers on a schedule, but as needed. I hold them,rock them, sing to them. Mom seems to have the daily time of 7-9 as baby time. Literally, scheduled on the calendar. Like that is when her and her husband put the babies on the floor and hang out with them at night and then feed them and put them to bed.
Email ISYN at isynblog@gmail.com.
