Tuesday

Should I call CPS? YES YOU SHOULD!



I recently met a family that moved from Ohio to the mountains of Northern California that have elementary aged home-schooled children and a toddler. After a few days of working for them, I was overwhelmed with anxiety due to the children crying to me about their feelings of neglect, their mother being stressed out not giving them attention, not having clean dishes to eat off of. Overall I could see that the emotional state that they were in was concerning.  Their mother hired me so that she could have a "sanity day" and do some work outside of the home. Needless to say, she "turned it on" for me to appear to be a healthy functioning family and lit a candle to cover the stench of her repulsively unclean home.  I tried not to judge a busy mom with a big family at first, so I agreed to help.  However, it did not take long for me to notice many red flags, (and an even dirtier condition than when I first met them), that prompted me, as a professional caregiver and teacher, to wonder if I should report this family to CPS.  Here is the list of concerns:

Extremely unsanitary house.  The floor in the kitchen, the counter-tops and inside the cabinets are covered with dirt, old crusted food, bugs, candy, and a variety of questionable substances.  There was always food left out from days before with flies and gnats hovering.  The sink and surrounding area had dirty dishes with rancid milk stains in cups and baby bottles, mold growing in water that had been sitting for days with food left in them,  dishes in the cupboards were still dirty or greasy, dirty dishes and food left in every area of the house, attracting bugs, and the bathrooms were so horrendous that I didn't feel comfortable using the restroom (these boys would pee all over and never wash their hands). The house reeked a horrible smell, dirty wipes for the toddler scattered throughout the house and the children couldn't even see the floor in their rooms. Overall, every area in the house was a health hazard. Likewise, I saw no clean clothes or bottles for the toddler.

There appears to be a huge lack of structure.  These kids are all home-schooled due to not having vaccinations.  The oldest boy (12) was allowed to sleep-in every day that I was there, and I only saw the 10 year-old sitting at the computer once for school (while he was on the phone in front of his mother playing video games). They appear not to have much discipline or respect for an authoritative figure and did not want to read books or study; they wanted to play video games or watch TV. They defied every attempt of me to provide structure.  The children would be defensive saying "we are home-schooled and can do what we want to".  The kids would fight and the youngest of the three boys would try to "handle" the toddler girl to the point that she would consistently push him away and hit him.  She did not appear to understand boundaries.They had lack of educational balance.The 10 year-old can only read at a 1st grade level (barely), has a speech impediment, emotional issues, and expresses his frustration openly. He is overly aggressive with his siblings. They all express their dissatisfaction with him (as well as, expressing that their mother ignores their needs).

The mother did not pay me for my services and harassed me on a caregiver website giving false ratings and information due to projection, embarrassment and spite.

Now, this is only a few days and I probably did not capture everything.  However, it was enough for me to question the situation and if I should report this mother to protect the children living in filth, have a lack of education, and no real structure that will help them form as they grow up.  Does any of this sound like grounds for contacting CPS officials to look into the situation? I am worried for the children but not sure if this is enough to make a report. I have NEVER seen a family this filthy and deprived, I am so concerned for the educational, emotional and overall health of these children.

HELP!

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12 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG! Are you kidding me? Of course you should report them to CPS! They are in extreme danger and neglect! I've seen CPS come out for a lot less but this far exceeds the warning signs.

It also sounds like the mother's mental state is not the best either. Who knows what harm she might do the children in desperation and frustration! Remember Andrea Yates? She drowned all of her children do to a mental disorder.

Although it is highly unlikely that she would "clean up" everything before CPS arrives, you should have taken some pictures and presented them to CPS at the least. As far as her harassing you, take whatever legal actions you need to take, but please help those children!

Leigh Raymer said...

Thank you Anon.! Your reference to Andrea Yates is spot on. I have heard from many child- care sources that a way {not mentally well} parents intimidate nannies/helpers is by slamming them on work-oriented sites when they try to protect/educate children. This mother is not well and needs help and so does her children. I personally have seen both sides of the "home-schooled" array - I know families that Home School their kids and friends into Harvard. I also have seen Home Schooled families that avoid responsibility, normality and reason. OP - anything we can do !! If you can give any other info and updates, WE will do anything here and please do not let this unwell mother intimidate you, you can save a life !

Anonymous said...

What are you waiting for ??

Leigh Raymer said...

we do not have enough info to report this ourselves, I have reached out to the Op. If I am able to get more info I will take action - if anyone recognizes anyone here - you have our email. The mother has already proven pro-active on revenge, but yes I hope the Op can have courage and take more action- ANYTHING we can do we will do - suggestions?

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Anonymous said...

I am a recently former nanny and I've had this same thing happen here in Florida. The mom was home and on psychotropic drugs, drinking and yelling at kids and me- just very unstable mother. The dad would complain to me about his wife, too and I felt uncomfortable. So, when I did call cps she has since trying to sue me (they are rich) & ruined my reputation on care.com with lies and false crazy accusations which forced me to give up my livelihood and passion to help kids. What is wrong with some parents today? Its sadenning and appalling. I couldn't rate the family and wish I could have seen all the nanny reviews from the dozens that quit before me. Who protects the nannies from harm, retaliation, public slander, or lawsuits from these mentally ill parents? Not sitter websites!!! Praying for this situation, too.

Anonymous said...

Almost another month with no new content! Please, please update this site more regularly or hand it over to someone who will!

Kayla said...

hi

Leigh Raymer said...

Anonymous FORMER NANNY - I would like it if you write to us directly in our email telling more about what you have gone thru - but i will do more with your comment - thank you for your courage!!

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