Stick This Out? Or Go For Better!

I need some advice, I have been a nanny for 5 years since my early 20's. I have had some awesome families,the longest being one I had been with for 3 years part time. I told my last family I was moving so they found another nanny. I am moving as my other half is in the military but it's taking longer than I thought. So I picked up another family and I am miserable. The mom is so overbearing and works from home and comes running anytime the baby cries even if nothing is wrong. Also she won't let me take him for a small walk past the front gate. I am trying to stick this out as we are moving in 2 months. Do I stick it out or leave? I feel completely undermined. All my other families trusted me to take the kids on walks and more, but now I am stuck in a house not only with a 10 month old but the mother too. HELP


M84 said...

If I were in your position, I would find a way to leave my emotions at the front door, keep my head down and do the job for two months. She isn't verbally or physically hurting anyone. You have differing opinions on how much comforting a 10 month old needs. As a new mother, lots of choices need to be made on a daily basis and she is figuring out her own philosophies on parenting which may differ from your own.

If it was going to be longer term I would evaluate whether or not the differences were too much or something that would change over time.

To give a little insight into why this parent might be behaving this way... As an employer, I learned after a bad experience that I need to be within earshot for several weeks to build trust. Once I feel comfortable, outings are okay and we need to talk about what happened before and after. I had a new hire who I casually knew for 2 years and let her take my daughter out her second day working with us. She has four children of her own and 20 years of nanny experience. Upon their return from their outdoor explorations, she shared that my daughter loved exploring the neighbor's stoop and garden in their backyard. She was also excited that they met someone who lives on a busy street around the corner and the 1.5 yo kids walked up and down the block while she and the other nanny spoke on the porch. It was shocking to hear and never would have expected she would treat other people's property so casually or give a very young child as much freedom expecting her to listen to "don't cross the street!" It might work for some people but for me, it was not okay and made me reevaluate how I need to better understand how a nanny interacts with my kids before I am comfortable entrusting her without my supervision.

Hope that helps.

George said...

It takes time to build trust. Like any other job. That 10 month old baby is thr Moms most precious thing. If you recently started watching the child, it not surprising that the Mom is not ready to trust completely yet.