Wednesday

Overdramatic?

Today I was informed by my director (I work in a preschool) that a parent in my classroom wants to move her child to the other classroom in our age group. The reason? Apparently she told my director that we (myself and my co-teacher) aren't very friendly or welcoming to this parent and her child. When I heard this information, my director wouldn't tell me which parent she was talking about; the only thing she said that it was a family who recently transitioned into the classroom. We got three new children and families, and two-thirds of our recent transitions are staff children: my administrator's nephew and director's son, so I know it's isn't either staff parent. I also know it is not any of the children in the classroom, as all of our parents love us. What we figured out was that it is one particular parent in our room, and to be honest, I find what she told the director rather interesting, and I am wondering if this is the start of drama from the mother.

Here's the thing: M and D are in a custody battle, and M is trying to control everything. M paints a rather negative picture of D, as D cheated on his wife with M and here comes a baby outside of his marriage. There are "rules" he must abide by, such as not picking up before 4p on his two days per week, this that, that, this. She is such a headache that D was called on one of his days because the child had a fever and therefore needed to be picked up per the sick policy. M finds out and wants documentation her child was sick, so she was given the illness report and a copy of our sick policy in the parent manual. It wasn't good enough for her apparently. More recently, D has gotten two overnights per week where he picks up from school on his days and drops her off the next day. This was a recent change, and from what he told us, he is attempting to obtain 50/50 custody. D drops her off early in the morning, around 645-700a, and from what I understand, M and Grandma (M's mother) were livid that D dropped off his child so early in the morning.

I could go on here, but we believe that M is a drama queen, and she is pissed about the recent court date, and therefore finding something to be pissed off about. So she tells our director something that isn't even true. Do we greet her and the child in the morning? Yes. Sometimes when M drops off, we may be busy with group time or changing diapers and/or taking children potty, but we ALWAYS make it a point to say hello to her. She comes in the classroom, acts as if she is either too good to speak, in a hurry to leave, and sometimes leaves without saying anything, such as a hello. I get the impression that she is standoffish, and from what I remember, my director even said this parent was a headache with the multiple tours (she toured five times, demanded the other toddler room, said the classroom her child would be in at the time was too small considering it is a one year old room. She didn't like the toys in that room, as she felt her daughter was too advanced to play with them, and had other things she didn't like when she first started.

D is not what M makes him out to be: he is very nice, down to Earth, and has realistic expectations. Easy to talk to, friendly, and fun. M is a beauty queen type who still lives with her mother, with a better make up job than a make up artist. I honestly don't have a problem with M,. but I also don't like it when people make up crap because of something else. I feel like she is pissed off about the fact that D chose his wife over her, along with the entire custody situation that she is finding anything she can to be pissed about and being a drama queen over something that isn't true.

Should we overly nice to her or not? Other teachers also believe she is standoffish and not very friendly.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

No offense, seriously. But, what does all of that outside drama have to do with you and your coworker? This is a weird post.

Taleia said...

I mean, I get why it's annoying and all. Parents can be a pain to deal with - I'm a private nanny now and I LOVE LOVE LOVE my nf, MB and DB, but I also coach and 90% of my parent interactions are either negative or very stressful - but that shouldn't really affect your behavior (I.e. how you do your job). Whether it is this parent or not, (and frankly all this discussion/gossip/"backstory" is just xhildish, reminds me of high school) you should interact with every child/parent with the same level of politeness and professionalism. That's just adulting.

Taleia said...

Also - and I just have to put this in because it irks me to no end - you have no idea what has happened in their marriage/lives, what has gone on behind closed doors. Maybe mom has an off - putting personality, maybe she's a pain. Maybe the dad is a totally different person in private, when he drinks, when he's not trying to win a custody battle. The fact that mom has great makeup and lives with her own mother (pretty common after a divorce) is a) none of your business and b) incredibly judgemental. If they're going through a tough split, the best thing you can do it to provide a loving, NEUTRAL environment for their child.

mandynanny said...

I agree, maybe a bit overdramatic..but this sort of drama,"high school" type behavior I hear is very common in a pre-school /day care environment. Most of the worker's are going to talk behind the parents backs and be chummy towards them in person. I've seen it over and over again. Being a nanny,the workers don't pay as much attention To me,coming and going and I have over heard the casual gossip that goes on ,it's pretty normal. Ive also heard it at the park!nannies&mommys all do it!Although,childish! I do agree w above post!
Anyway I wouldn't worry about the child being switched over,if everyone has the same opinion of the Mom I'm sure the director is aware of it!

Anonymous said...

Um. Say goodbye and thank your lucky stars they aren't your problem anymore. Seriously. Why would you want to win over a parent who shit talked you up to your director? Just pack her cubby up and move on

Anonymous said...

Um. Say goodbye and thank your lucky stars they aren't your problem anymore. Seriously. Why would you want to win over a parent who shit talked you up to your director? Just pack her cubby up and move on