Sunday

Responding to nannys that are moms

I think Leigh has a great idea with this and I would
like to hear from other moms who are nannys as well.I  could use the support for sure.

I am a mother and a nanny and I really love my job but I know a lot of family's that won't hire a nanny that is a mother too bc they are afraid their nanny will be too exhausted or most are women who are only doing it bc they need money and watching kids is all they know. I've been on many interviews where I wasn't sure how they would react once I told them I had children of my own. They seem confused..."why would you leave your kids with someone else to watch my kids and get paid?" Well bc it's like any job really? If I went to work at an office I would be doing the same thing? I really enjoy children, yes it's exhausting and it seems like its all I do from the time I wake up to the time I fall asleep. Yes I prepare 2 dinners each night....give your kids baths and my kids when I get home. I have felt guilty and conflicted at times when I am cuddling your child at the time and not mine, or while I'm taking yours to the park and a picnic while my kids are not with me. but at the end of the day I have to remember it's my job. 

I always make sure my weekends are reserved for my family and if my boss wants a date night on a weekend it cannot conflict which my kids schedule. I honestly know I'm lucky bc I have read some stories about Women from other countries that are nannies here in America, who have had to leave their children behind. Only to send them money to survive.One woman said "I feel so guilty when I'm eating,bc I don't know if my child will eat today." that broke my heart. I hope employers read this and realize hiring a nanny is a big responsibility. Someones livelihood is in your hands. Think before you hire or let someone go. I am a mother, a nanny, a hard working woman.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, I applaud you for your very hard work. Not just the Nanny position, and mom of your own but the fact that you work for money and then again just for the love and smiles of your own.

I am a mom and nanny as well, however my children don't need me like the ones that I watch do, after all if they are able to drive, and do stuff that an adult can do they don't need me as much.

I am an 40-something woman and have found the hardest job ever, I have three degrees and had to find a job and I don't know what else to do.

You are a rocking mom and I know where you are coming from. You would be away from your own kids no matter what you do for a living, why not do something that you can do and enjoy while you do it.

Leigh Raymer said...

we need moms like you to comment, support each other and learn - please post any interesting stories !

The Wife said...

Hi! I'm a nanny and a mom as well. I have four children. 2 are in college, one in high school, and one in middle school. I have been a nanny with my first family for four years and we are like a family. They LOVE the benefits of seeing that my children turned out decent. They know that my children live their children and they value the time our two families spend together. If I can't do an evening or weekend, one of my children is normally available to take over. I homeschooled my children and I have a degree in early childhood education so the family I nanny for trusts that I can make competent choices for their children education and activity wise. I have the greatest situation ever and that's just my first family! I nanny for a second family on m/w. That mom chose me because she was pregnant with her fourth and she knew I would know what she needs. Again, the fact that I'm a mom paved the way for me to get this job. Both families are respectful of each other's time and my time. Every night I go to sleep thinking I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I have 10 amazing children to care for.

The Wife said...

Hi! I'm a nanny and a mom as well. I have four children. 2 are in college, one in high school, and one in middle school. I have been a nanny with my first family for four years and we are like a family. They LOVE the benefits of seeing that my children turned out decent. They know that my children live their children and they value the time our two families spend together. If I can't do an evening or weekend, one of my children is normally available to take over. I homeschooled my children and I have a degree in early childhood education so the family I nanny for trusts that I can make competent choices for their children education and activity wise. I have the greatest situation ever and that's just my first family! I nanny for a second family on m/w. That mom chose me because she was pregnant with her fourth and she knew I would know what she needs. Again, the fact that I'm a mom paved the way for me to get this job. Both families are respectful of each other's time and my time. Every night I go to sleep thinking I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I have 10 amazing children to care for.

goingcrazymommy said...

I was a nanny and a mom also ( a few years ago). I brought my daughter (age 3) with me to watch another litle girl (age 2). because of their ages it worked really well. They loved playing with each other. Sometimes I felt bad for getting on to the little girl if she was mean to my daughter, because I thought the mom would think I was only doing it because it was MY daughter she was being mean too. mom worked from home. over all I loved it.

Unknown said...

I know this is an old post but I thought I'd respond since there wasn't much total response. I'm 32 and have been a nanny for 13 years in the same area. I have a daughter who just turned 6 and is finishing up kindergarten, and I have a son who is 3.5 and is in preschool extremely part time.

Currently, I'm working for a family with a 5 month old little boy. He has an older sister who is 3 but I rarely care for her as she does full day preschool. I have never brought my kids with me to a full day of work in all my 6 years of being a mom and a nanny. My husband works opposite my schedule so he is able to take care of the kids, get them to school, play with them (he's one of the most interactive dads I've ever seen), make sure homework is done, etcetera. He works about 20-25 hours a week outside the home and I work about 45 so he does a lot of the grocery shopping, the house cleaning, and other stuff I just don't have as much time for. He is THE reason I'm able to do what I do for as long as I do. I know my kids are in good hands and I'm actually glad that I do not have to bring them to work with me. Having my kids at work makes things twice as hard for me and I prefer to separate my work life and my private life as much as possible.

That being said, I've been fortunate to have employers who don't mind if my kids come over for a short time (an hour or less) at the end of the day in the interim when my husband has to be off work and I am still working. This happens seldomly (it's been at least 6 months since we last needed to do it) but it is a weight off my shoulders knowing that if ever we are in a bind with childcare for my own kids, my employers are understanding and accommodating.

I do suffer the guilt of leaving my own children behind to care for someone else's. There are a lot of milestones and moments that I miss out on in my own home but witness the same moments and milestones for my nanny charges. Good nanny positions can be really hard to find in my area so I looked for about 7 months while holding down much-less-than-ideal nannying jobs before finding this position I have now. However, it's my longest commute yet at about 40 minutes one way. I have to leave my house an hour before I am scheduled and I walk out while the kids are getting dressed and ready for school. I usually don't get home until 6:30 pm or so and my kids go to bed at 7 (trust me, it's a necessity for them. It takes them about 45 minutes to wind down in their room so if we wait to put them into their room later, they'd fall asleep too late and not get enough rest for school in the morning). So my 6 year old often laments that we don't have a lot of time together and that breaks my heart, but I just don't know that there's much I can do. I make it a point to make that half an hour a night I do have with them meaningful and make sure to completely focus on them. There are occasions where I let them stay up a little longer and we do more together. But I am someone who is with kids ALL DAY LONG. There is always someone who needs me, always something I should be doing, I usually have a kid hanging on to me at all times of the day. At the end of the day, I'm just done with being needed. It's an internal battle for me because all I want to do is space out and not have to think about responsibilities for a little bit but my kids need me too and I miss them. Being a nanny and a mom often means working way past your breaking point because there is no true off time. I think if I first became a nanny after I was already a mom, I would've never lasted this long in this career. It's gotten exponentially more difficult to balance it all and remain calm and collected. I often feel like it's all about to spiral out of control but I'm grateful to have the support of my husband and other family members who so graciously help us whenever we need it.