Am I being jacked? ( Socializing with NF)

I have been with this family for 8 months and I am really happy, I think I love the kids so much I am letting myself be taken advantage of ! The boy is 7 and the little girl is 5. There have been 4 times where the parents invite me to an event of the kids as a "guest" but it does not always turn out that way. One event was a birthday party where many of the kids knew me and I could not rest for a moment - I thought I would get to just hang out with the little girl, no pressure, and kick back, but no, the other parents were constantly asking me to help with the little girl's friends.

I was proud to come and see the boy receive an award, as I feel I help teach him but it took an hour to get to the ceremony and parking was not cheap, and my own family members were needing me for things.

I went to a wedding with their posse and --- I was somehow maneuvered into the kids room!!

 But it makes me worry - if I turn down these invitations will it risk my job, will the kids be sad, and If I have a convo about money - do I charge my same nanny rate? I charge them $15 p/h per day for 30 per week in Dallas suburb area. I am very happy with them otherwise.


melissa said...
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Corina Yildiz said...

OP you need to separate work from their outside activities. This is their family, their friends. Not yours. If they want you to attend. Ask straight out if you are going to be a guest or running around with kids. If they look shocked tell them what you told us. You believed you were going to be a guest not working. On a side note that's really rude of their friends to ask for help with their kids during the party. When I attended events as a guest I was treated as such. Plus I had my own son to look after.

Anonymous said...

I totally straigh..ask them if you will be compensated otherwise just tell them that u have your own commitments for the weekendelay you are not available..Good luck!

Adventure Nannies said...

I agree with Corina. I think the next time you are invited to one of these events I would ask if it is as a guest or as a nanny, because while you were happy to attend and support the family at past events, you ended up working rather than being part of the celebration. Then say you are happy to do either, but if they wish for you to work (including helping their friends) you will charge your usual rate. If the event requires you to go out of town and stay with them in a hotel or something over night, I would negotiate for them to pay all travel expenses and a flat daily travel rate.

Do you have a contract with the family? If so, I would consider adding a travel section to spell out your travel rates and requirements.

For more advice on contracting or travel agreements feel free to contact us or check out our nanny blog at