Friday

It's Not Hard To Guess Why She's Leaving!

Hi, My nanny is leaving after 8 months of working for us. We had hoped she would stay a year, but she is leaving to take a nanny job in another state for more money. My question to you is, do I have to give her a going away gift? Personally, I did not get along well with her. My wife seemed to do okay with her, but the children were crazy about her and cried when they found out she was leaving. This alone makes me angry. Additionally, about 6 weeks ago, while backing the car up to unload groceries, she drove into and over a fence causing about $200 worth of damage. She had said she would pay us back and I left that open but have not received any money. We did hire her from Nebraska through a friend of a friend on Facebook and paid $640 to fly her to New Jersey. She still has a return end on that trip. The original agreement, we made by phone was that if she didn't stay for a year, she would have to pay us back.

Email isynblog@gmail.com with your quandary.

8 comments:

RBTC said...

i think you are going to need to let this go, she sounds nice from a child perspective but irreponsable from a grown up and money perspective - and you have a dickens of a time getting money from people like that.

Beth Bartylla said...

You should have made a physical contract.

Kat said...

You can't force her to pay you back for not staying a year, that is indentured servitude and illegal.

Thirty something said...

Accidents happen. You can not hold her personally responsible for damage to your car that occurred in the course of her carrying out her employment duties. You should have insurance for that and be prepared to pay the deductible out of pocket too. No wonder she wanted to leave seeing as though it seems like you and your wife were not the most hospitable towards her. You could recoup the plane fare by withholding pay if you really want to be a butt head about things though. That is provided you got that agreement in writing. I would just let it go though. Move on. Suck it up and stop being a baby.

Taleia said...

I just have to say this: if your children loved her (and it would seem that they do), and she treated them well (and it would seem that she did), your reaction seems incredibly selfish/immature. People move, move on, want a change of pace, etc, for various reasons, none of which you should take personally. I find it hard to believe that you have so little respect for someone who loved on your kids. :(

Heidi said...

It makes you angry that your kids cried due to her leaving? Your kids still would have cried if she had stayed the whole year. They're crying because they loved her and they will miss her. Calm down.

Anonymous said...

To answer your original question, no, you don't have to give her a 'going away' gift. However, I have a question for you. Why does it make you so angry that your kids are sad to see her go? Why does it make you so angry that your kids like their nanny and have a good relationship with her? Why does it make you so angry that she obviously put time and effort into them, to the point that they WANT her to STAY? You would have cause for complaint if they just shrugged or reacted with happiness as that would be a sign that, for some reason, they didn't like her or were afraid of her. So, with that in mind, while YOU don't have to give her a going away gift, you might like to talk to the kids about making her - not buying her - a card that she can take with her. It wouldn't have to be something you would need to pay actual money for, but the kids would be able to express their gratitude properly, and she would still get a 'gift', albeit a small one not worth any monetary value - and it would teach your kids about respecting the people in their life.

As for the damage to the car, the plane ticket, the minimum expected stay: This should have been discussed AND written out at the beginning of her time with you. If your nanny or any other adult is driving your car, it needs to be insured accordingly, and there should have been, in writing in the contract, a point on who would be responsible for the excess in the event of an accident. If you wanted her to pay you back for the plane ticket if she wasn't staying a full year, that should have been put in writing too. If she was my nanny, I would also include in the contract a small 'completion bonus' of perhaps $150 that she would receive if she did complete the year, regardless of whether she decided to stay or not.
You can ask her about money if you want her to pay you back, but if it's not in writing, I'm not sure it's legally enforceable. Talk to your wife about the reference you're both going to give her.



Sprak said...

Pettiness and cheapness all rolled into one. Next time put your pettiness into a contract and have it signed.