The One Night Stand

Terrance Osborn
I told her. I couldn't take it anymore. I just felt him leering at me yesterday morning. I told my boss the whole story. I told her I brought him here. I told her it was the first and only time I brought him or anyone here. She didn't get mad at all. She told me she was disappointed that I would take a chance like that with myself and to some degree her home. She literally walked over and asked to speak to the supervisor who wasn't there and said she wanted him here within the hour. He arrived and she told told him he needed to make sure that X left the job sight and did not return. The construction foreman was confused but wanted to be accommodating. She insisted to be present while he was told. She told me that she told him that he was never to set foot on her property again. Then she said she looked at him and said, "I need to know you understand what I am saying so I don't need to take legal action." She says he tried to play it off cool, saying he was just a friendly guy. 

I found the situation pretty embarrassing. I also promised her that I wouldn't bring any men back to her place. She told me that if I had a boyfriend and an ongoing relationship with someone that "was a different story" but reiterated how unsafe  "one night situations" can be. I feel pretty fortunate that it was resolved and glad that I was able to do it honestly. I don't think she even mentioned it to her husband, but the housekeeper heard enough. Now, every time I walk in a room she shakes her head dramatically back and fourth. But she'll get over it. 

Original Post 8/1/15  11:30 AM
I'm looking advice, and I prefer from Moms. I have a great job taking care of three girls and I have been here for almost two years. I am a live-in nanny and I have a studio apartment in the basement of the house. I can enter the apartment through the house or from the garage. There is a door to a hallway from the garage and that hallway goes to the back door, the mud room, the laundry room, and two basement entrances, mine being the first entrance. This is all relevant. Last fall, I met a guy at a bar and brought him home with me. It was a one time thing, I'm not proud of it. I did some things I don't usually do, the least of which is going home with a guy.

I saw the guy again in February at the bar and he tried to push up on me. He actually wouldn't leave me alone at the bar and I had to have another guy intercede.  As the other guy, being gentleman was ushering him away from me, the guy yelled out, "Talk about mixed signals."

So, three weeks ago, my boss had a renovation project commence on a wing of their house where the library, office and formal living room is. No problem. Then last week on Monday, the electricians came and low and behold, I run smack into this guy in the kitchen. I was making breakfast for two of the girls and the housekeeper was in the room too. The housekeeper looked up and said, "are you lost?" He apologized, talk his hat off and said, "I must have made a wrong turn" and he looks at me and smiled not so nicely to me and says, "____, how great to see you again!" I mumbled something and the housekeeper fortunately is a no nonsense 60 year old Jamaican woman who raised her hand and pointed her finger back down the hallway. So he left.

Because of how the house is set up, I don't have to see the workers alot or deal with them. They park in one location and enter from an exterior basement location completely disconnected from my room. But I do see him. And he's always looking at me with this look that makes me feel so uncomfortable.  I don't think he would ever do anything. I talked to the housekeeper about it and I told her that I had met him one night and we had some quick relations, but that was it. I did not tell her that it took place in this house. The housekeeper suggested that I tell my boss about it, because I shouldn't feel uncomfortable and he has no business leering at me or even saying hello to me, if I don't want.

I do want to tell my boss,but I'm so ashamed of what actually happened. I figure if I tell her what I told the housekeeper, she would complain to the company and get someone new sent out, but what if that made him mad and he blabbed about me? When he was bothering me in the bar that second night months later, he wanted to make sure people knew we had been together. I am so uncomfortable. It's the weekend and I don't even know who is working, but I can hear them so I am just sitting in my room.

If you were an employer, would you forgive me for bringing a guy back to your house? Even if the set is like I said and he was only in the garage and one foot in the hallway? The best part of my job is how well my boss and I get along and I am so afraid that this could wreck our relationship.


Anonymous said...

Don't tell them.
They will find out you brought him to their house.

Anonymous said...

I would tell them about the one night stand but omit the fact it happened at their house

Lacy said...

As a live in you a tenant. You are essentially a house mate. Last I checked housemates can have guests and sleep overs-- unless otherwise stated in the rental agreement; in your case the work/live agreement. Families need to understand when they hire a grown woman as a live in nanny, she will have grown woman relations.

Gigi Preston said...

As an employer..I wouldn't want to know...I'd appreciate discretion and not seeing/etc. Unfortunately things can go wrong & I wouldn't want my nanny feeling uncomfortable & I especially wouldn't want this jackass thinking he had power over her.

Anonymous said...

That may be and I respect that but dome random stranger putting the family at risk?She should be ashamed for THIS reason. I'm not judging the one night stand..shit happens. But this isn't her house nor her children. Get a hotel room or go to his place if you want to take risks, dont do it at the expense of others.

Miss Dani The Nanny said...

I was at Walgreens when I ran into a one night stand. It was slightly more than mediocre, and I forgot his name during the middle of the event. He kept following me around the store and I moved like hell trying to get away from him.

I made it to check out safely, or so I thought, until he initiated a conversation that I didn't want to take part in. He made it known to everyone, customers and employees our time together. He noticed what I was purchasing, pointing out my hydrocortisone cream for my eczema:

" 'I see you have the itchies. Anything I should know about?' " He was being rather loud, and people were staring.

I was embarrassed. "Actually," I said beyond irritated, " if it's any of your business, which its not, the cream is for my eczema. And the only thing you need to know is that the sex wasn't that great, and you are an asshole. You might want to work on that."

He kept bothering me, and I was pissed. Finally, I threatened to slap him if he didn't leave.

The girl who checked me out was laughing and I started laughing too. She said she wouldn't have slept with him, and that I did him a favor by having sex with him.

I ran into him again two years later and he attempted to sleep with me again. I laughed in his face so hard I almost peed in my pants.

Sydney said...

As a live-in it's your right to have guests in your private space provided that the contract doesn't state otherwise. As a parent though I would have serious doubts about your judgment if you came to me with this. I assume that my nanny has a personal life. I don't ask her about it or want gory details. Just like I don't talk about my personal life with her.

If you come forward, do so with the entire truth. If you imply/allow your boss to believe that the one night stand happened elsewhere and she finds out the truth, you could very well lose your job. Deservedly so, imo.

If this guy really is exhibiting stalker tendencies, you have to tell your boss everything. If you're just uncomfortable,you may need to wait it out rather than risk losing your job. Only you know your boss. If she would morally judge you, she shouldn't be told.

Am I correct in assuming that the workers are coming in and out with a temporary access code to the home? After the job ends, this code will be changed and they can leave.

Kara Ivy said...

Yes, I agree.

RBTC said...

as a boss i would be upset that you invited a crazy person into my home - ie elizabeth smart's kidnapper, but i am super careful - like people said - you do not want your boss to think you have bad judgement so wait it out - and then be super mooper careful in the future - best luck - and keep us informed

Beck said...

I'm glad you didn't get fired over it. This whole drama could have been avoided if you'd just used common sense though. Use the housekeeper's reaction as reminder to protect yourself in the future.

I'm not judging the one night stand one way or another, but I'll never understand bringing a stranger home. Even if it were just your home- which this isn't.

Go out, have fun, but protect yourself. Maybe a nice hotel. I wouldn't just go to a stranger's home either. Take safety precautions.

RBTC said...

you really have a great boss - never do this again - thank you for the update

Julie said...

RBTC said exactly what I was thinking.
I am so glad that you have the type of employer that has your back, supports you, and is so understanding. It sounds like you may have hit the employer Jackpot. Its hard to find an employer like yours instead of the one in the "Afflec Affect," posting above. I really hope that you understand how very lucky you are and I hope that you make wiser decisions moving forward.

Julie said...


this_nick said...

You have a tremendous employer. Good for you!