Taking Advantage of MY Nanny...

We did not take our nanny on a trip for a close friend's wedding. As a live-in, she stayed home. much like she had previously. We paid her her full weekly salary.

My sister in lawn, unbeknownst to me, had contacted the nanny in our absence and asked her to fill in for their nanny for three days. My nanny did. No incidents.

Daria Solak
I made a joke about how profitable our vacation was to the nanny. The nanny looked uncomfortable. I said, "I'm sorry. You know I don't care...I was just..".

The nanny said, "They didn't pay me at all"
I was shocked. I further confirmed that not only did they not pay her at all, but his sister had asked my husband if it was okay to call her to babysit and my husband okayed it and tongue in cheek made some not cool comment about her already being paid and ready to babysit.

I told my husband that he is going to tell his sister he owes the nanny for three days. He is resistant to this idea and doesn't get how we wouldn't do his sister a solid by having our nanny just fill in for her, since she was paid anyway. I'm sorry that this is the mentality I am working with. His cheap sister is seconding it. Meanwhile I am pissed off for the nanny and for the whole mess. I want them to pay her in full for her time, without any reference to whether or not she was already being paid by us. What does it matter?

I'm seeing red. My husband doesn't see the problem. 


NYC NANNY said...

You have a checkbook right? Please pay her if you want her to continue working for you. And clarify you are glad she she can make extra cash when you are away. She like you, has bills, plans, savings, etc. .

Then take it up with your sil. She can pay you and your husband back. If you wait for them nothing will be done and it is SO not the nanny's fault. She shouldn't have to wait for money she worked for.

Also your nanny needs to grow a pair. She should have discussed payment prior to working and spoken up for herself.

But she was probably to afraid to seeing that they are relatives of yours. And it's disgusting your husband would ok this. What if it was his daughter being treated like a slave? Would he feel the same?

Lacy said...

I like how you OP are sticking up for her, I wish more families were like you. Your nanny most likely didn't say anything about pay because she didn't want to cause drama in your family. Your husband has little respect for the nanny--- she got paid a live in salary for live out work... she incurred more expense then a normal work week. I would help your nanny, by telling her it is ok to be assertive in telling even your family members her rate is $X/hour to work for them (and that you condone it, you respect it).

Your SIL just got free child-care... free, a standard has been set. Nip this in the bud, family drama is at your next vacation. Your nanny is in the center of this Drama! Help her before its to late.

Cordelia said...

First, thank YOU for knowing the right thing! Absolutely your SIL should pay the nanny. Your nanny isn't a shared resource. I don't see how your husband can't see that. Paying the nanny while you're out of town isn't a gift. It's the bare minimum. This holds her and guarantees you child care upon your return. If she chooses to agree to fill in for anyone, it's her choice and she should be paid in full.

Make this a non negotiable issue with your H. If he wants to do his sister a solid, he needs to pay the nanny for the SIL's kids. Someone has to pay. And you should tell your nanny she's free to refuse your family members. Maybe she felt awkward saying no to them.

Essie said...

Wow. If I was your nanny, I would be looking for a new job. I imagine she only agreed to babysit for your SIL because she felt pressured into saying yes. Your husband sounds like a winner. Don't be surprised when she gives her notice.

RBTC said...

i think you are a very good boss by thinking this issue thru and realizing what is right for your nanny - you are good MB - keep up the good thoughts and keep us updated- your nanny must have great respect for you also to wish to keep the peace

this_nick said...

Pay the nanny. This was your husband's fault for telling his sister she could get free child care from your nanny. He should foot the bill.

Anonymous said...

It's considerate of you to think about it . You should pay her for your husband's mistake of not valuing her and take advantage of her.

You guys should consider yourself lucky she stayed . If it was me,the minute i realised a family I worked for tried to rip me off or being cheap with me is the minute I would have given my notice. My time is very precious to me and my experience taugh me there is nothing you can do to change cheap families.

She might not have gone yet because she probably know that you are a good as well as considerate and will probably correct the bad gesture of your husband.

Bless you, and keep us posted !

Anonymous said...

You are an amazing employer!