Thursday

Cure for an Overbearing Nanny?

I hired a nanny and paid an agency for the placement of a seasoned nanny with many years of nanny experience, including multiples. She started six weeks ago, she overlapped two days with the baby nurse. All signs pointed to greatness, initially.

And then, I realized what an expert she is and what a novice I am. I am game to learn things. I read. The baby nurse literally massaged my breasts to keep milk flowing.

The way she interjects her opinions or looks at me when the baby is crying, it borders on insulting. She is however really good at what she does, incredibly punctual, neat as a pin and quiet and unobtrusive, excepting when I have one of the children.

I think an example might be effective. I had just nursed baby two and he was a little fussy. I was holding him on my chest and patting him on his back. She told me, "he's still hungry."  I said, "I thought he was done.". She said "no, no, no, that is the cry of a hungry baby." Then she told me to "try again.". She also has told me that I need to talk about supplementing more formula, but the way she says it, it is almost as if breast milk is silly. She also noted one of the baby's ears was red and asked me, "have you been rooting around in his ear?" I said, "no". She said, "I saw some cotton swabs in the garbage in the nursery. You're just going to pack it in tight. That will make him stir with a big fuss." Then when I am eating something like cheeze puffs, she looks at me with a tight lipped smile and says, "I would be happy to make you some cheese and crackers, something good for your body."

Having given those examples, I have tolerated it this far because she is so good with the babies and because I hope to go back to work in three months. I don't want to start over with a new nanny when I have such a capable one here, even though she is a bit much to bear. Do I just suck it up, knowing that it will serve me better when I am away from the house 11 hours a day?

Anyone?

12 comments:

RBTC said...

i think you answered your own question - the babies are the most important thing to consider - you can deal with 3 months lol - if she is a good worker and good with the kids, that's the most important thing -- that picture is hilarious btw - that would be pretty funny if you tried it - keep us updated

Elle said...

I think you're just being a little postpartum emotional. I have a 7 week old and would welcome any sort of advice on raising this little one! You hired her as a baby nurse because you want her advice and guidance. I wouldn't take it so personal. She wants to help so let her! And hang in there :)

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I have to disagree with the previous posters. Your nanny is rude and apparently not a good fit for you. I'd have canned her after a couple days but I also would have told her to stop being such a rude know it all. Being knowledgeable is a great thing. Being a know it all isn't. If she's this rude after just being hired, she'll be a complete nightmare after six months. Cut your losses and find someone with tact and social skills...someone who's your partner not your task master. Do it now, you'll be glad you did.

Nanny said...

Your nanny may be a baby expert (debatable ) but a BIG part of her job is effectively interacting with the parents. She cannot do that. It's much better to get a new nanny now so you can start a good workable relationship with her asap!

An experienced nanny will know how to be a good nanny and a good employee. Great relationships can last for years. Can you stand her for YEARS?

You're in charge. Start how you mean to go on!

Jen said...

Totally agree!

Anonymous said...

I wonder whether she will be able to take instruction from you when it becomes necessary...

Anonymous said...

She's not wrong. You shouldn't be rooting around in your baby's ears with a cotton swab, and maybe your baby was actually still hungry even though you thought he was done. Agree she might be a bit overbearing, but you could be open to learning a thing or two if you put your mind to it.

Jill said...

It isn't an issue of being right. If the nanny is disrespectful no amount of knowledge is ok. Learning is great. And this mom doesn't sound opposed to learning from her nanny but this nanny is obnoxious!

Vikki's #1 fAN said...

Wow. Here I was worried about Brooks and Vikki splitting (http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/vicki-gunvalson-brooks-ayers-split-again-2015168) and wondering if I would get the full scoop on part I of the reunion of REHOC when I had to stop and consider this. I think that the nanny is trying to help you. When I am able to reflect on myself as a new mom, I was crazed and confused. I didn't see it. And yes, stay out of your child's ear! I once lost an entire tip of cotton swab in my baby's ear and the doctor was PISSED at me and didn't hide it when I had to take him in for removal.

Anonymous said...

This womean sounds like a really good nanny . The question is will you trust her when your not there? Personally mim and nanny should not be at the house the same time. You hired her to be there and care for you children when you are not there.She is not a mother's helper but a excellent nanny!!!! Go shopping or something let her do her job well in fact.

SandiMarie said...

I absolutely agree!

Aria Bubbles said...

It's off topic, but it bugs me hard - how come your incapable of taking care of your children yourself? Seriously, needing a nanny when you are at home? Maybe it's the American thing.... But where I come from , it's only the super rich and famous that need a nanny since the day the child is born. My mum had three kids, no help from grandparents. My aunt had them 7. Managed it all. Can't understand these new mothers... Maybe it will sound harsh, but if you need a nanny when you're at home, maybe it's normal. For her to consider herself more skilled than you (I'm babysitting for two boys 5/3, a and I manage to cook when they sleep and tidy the kitchen). The nanny sounds rude, really, and I think I'd have a lot of issues with that.if you're it comfortable around her, dismiss her. There are plenty of nannies. You don't need to feel bad or annoyed when you see her. Kids will feel it too.