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Hi Moms,
I am looking for a nanny and don't want to use an agency. I am curious how to go about this. When I have worked through agencies, they have fulfilled my requests for a Polish laundress, an American nanny, etc. How much can I ask for? Are we immune from discriminatory practices? I know my friends use agencies and always specific the make and model of the nanny, for example "no Jamaicans" or "German or Irish". This is what I am looking for and since it is my home I know I have a right to have it, but don't want to offend anyone. I also don't want to waste the time of people who are not suited from responding to my post.

I am looking for an athletic and fit, not overweight, American born Citizen with a minimum of three years verifiable college work and three childcare references. I prefer that she is Catholic or is open to immersing herself in the Catholic teaching to help my special needs child through his catechism classes. Because we eat a non processed food, paleo diet, the person will need to understand this diet and how to cook this sort of food for the children.  I also require someone who speaks at least one foreign language and someone who can understands HTML and coding. Finally, I do not want to hire someone over 55, but I want someone who's children are grown or over 16.  I also need someone with a clean driving background, who has been driving for 15 years or more, a clean criminal check and someone who is comfortable working with non vaccinated children and using extreme discretion with any issues that come up with any part of the job. We have a collection of pets including a guinea pig, 2 gliders, 3 cats, a horny toad, a tarantula, hermit crabs, four sea turtles and a large fish tank. The person should be able to oversee the cleaning, playing and safekeeping of all of these without being squeemish. (No direct care provided by nanny).

I fear the age part could cause me the most problem, unless I word it just right. Help.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahahaha!!! omg! lady you are absolutely CRAZYYYYYYYYYY!!!! you will NEVER find someone with the list you posted! are you being serious?? Even if that person does exist in some weird planet which I doubt; I pray they run VERY fast in the opposite direction from you.
lunatic! go make some paleo bread instead!

Lifelong New Yorker said...

The age part is the least of your problems. You may never include race, religion, sex, ad nauseum, in your employment requests unless they are 100% necessary to the position. Teaching Catholicism? Fine. Fitting bras? Fine. Nanny? NOPE. You're a discriminatory nut job. Are you planning to pay this woman $100,000 a year? Didn't think so. Unvaccinated children? Of course, I'm sure you've done your research and are uniquely qualified to design/reject a vaccination schedule for your special snowflake. I pity the nanny who meets your qualifications.

Bigot.

RBTC said...

ok the above people are being harsh - you can find what you want - but you will actually have to pay extra for all that and you cannot put it in writing - but you can find it. Ususally the type of person who has all those 'elite" qualifications knows they can get more money - you will have to make private inquiries. And you may need to do triage - which of your wish list is the least important? make a note. You will need to do like let's say the royal family - ask around your associates who are super priviledged to see where the right nanny might be available

Anonymous said...

Let me guess. You don't want to pay an agency to find your unicorn, and you plan to pay said unicorn $8 an hour. I can't even be sarcastic and say good luck with that. I wouldn't wish you on anyone.

Anonymous said...

You are extremely specific on what you are looking for and demanding about the quality of the nanny's education as well . On the top of that, you want her to be bilingual.

I understand it is your home and you can hire whoever you want and no one should juge you for that!

However, the kind of Nannies you are looking for are considered premium and therefore very wanted by many families that are ready to do whatever it take to get these nannies to work for them and more importantly to stay with them. That's why in a lot of jobs some great perks are offered to attract the right candidate.

The kind of nanny you are looking for are also more likely to go through agencies because they know that the kind of families that hire through them are (most of them) serious an able to offer the salary packages as well as perks that they are looking for.

You could still post an ad online on multiple vacancies website but you should offer a package that is as generous and attractive as the agencies vacancies.

If you pay well, I'm sure you will find what you are looking for. But if you are on a buget , you might have to be a bit less picky and do some sacrifices.

To give you an idea , I have absolutely no qualifications(I'm working on that though) yet have a lot of experience, great references, can play and read music and I am bilingual French/English. Still far less than what you are looking for yet believe it or not I am actually very wanted and it never took me more than a week to find a job I was interested in, which good pay and perks+paid holidays.

Imagine how easy it will be for the premium nannies that are far more qualified and experienced than me to find a job

Finally, that kind of nanny will expect a written contract prior the start, be paid on the book and to be treated right so she can stay.

Good luck and hope you find the right candidate :D

RBTC said...

well stated last anon - OP - be prepared to be the top of the line to the premium nanny - you will need to cater to her or him and bend over backwards a little - let us know what happens!

Monika said...

Wow, you're not asking for much!

Anonymous said...

You sound absolutely crazy! I am nanny for 2 wonderful families, making tremendous money, benefits, paid vacations, etc. NEVER WOULD I WORK FOR SOMEONE WITH THAT JOB DESCRIPTION! BIGOT? YES! DEMANDING? YES! BIOTCH? YES!

Anonymous said...

1. 3 years college doesn't make you a great nanny.
2. Some older nannies are better then the younger ones.
3. Little more meat on the bones doesn't make them lazy or not as good either.
4. A strong religious background even if not catholic can be just as good. Father was a minister and I know that Catholics do things differently but it isn't difficult to learn it to help your child.

Jill said...

Ignoring all the super specific, impossible to find qualities that you're looking for, if such a nanny existed, you couldn't afford her/him.

Someone can be learned in Catholicism even if they're not a Catholic. Just fyi. Also, your ageist, sizist, racist requirements should provide unparalleled levels of entertainment on thid sote today.

I'm calling b.s. on this post. No way, you don't know that you're ridiculous. This is nanny-baiting at its finest.

But cool story, bro.

Jill said...

This site*

Heidi said...

While I understand you have specific needs, I would say to be open-minded when going into interviews. There may be someone that only fits half the qualifications, but she may be a way better fit for your family than someone who fits everything. I would say that it is fair to address some of your must-haves in the interview, but other than that, sometimes it is just better to get to know the nanny first. You may decide on a nanny you never would have considered, and she may end up being perfect for your needs. Also, like other commenters have stated, make sure you are willing to pay for what you are asking for. Good luck!

Sara said...

Wow! I'm multi lingul- five languages, have two college degrees. One of which is in Child Development. I'm a certified lifeguard. Have all the other usual nanny certification (CPR, AED, First Aid ). Grew up with a religious leader on both sides of my family. Physically fit and HWP. And don't mind animals of any kind.

BUT I still would never work for someone like you, OP. My list of people asking to be notified if. I become available is getting longer every day. None of them are as obnoxious as you seem to be . Here's hoping your kids grow up to be decent human beings.

Anonymous said...

I am interesting in where this job is? I also wonder why there is a need for the nanny to know coding. Is it because the child is Autistic and has a strong interest in the area?


I am a licensed special education teacher, I am Catholic, and I do not eat processed food either. Problem is I do not know coding and HTML. I am not qualified?

Anonymous said...

"I am looking for an athletic and fit, not overweight, American born Citizen with a minimum of three years verifiable college work and three childcare references."
This right here makes me want to SCREAM! You are ridiculous! There are fabulous nannies out here that would be dismissed of your narrow minded view!!!

Angi

Anonymous said...

I was wondering if this posting might just be a joke.

Nanny said...

Called it!

Anonymous said...

I'm a former nanny that is fit, American, has a college education, bilingual, has medical training (nursing school for 3.5 years), and I'm currently a full stack developer. There is NO WAY in hell you could afford me with all those skills, and the fact that I'm risking MY health being around your unvaccinated children. I live in NYC and make over $110k a year. If you could afford that, plus benefits, hit me up.

Actually, I'd rather light myself on fire.

Jenny said...

I think that is the key component not mentioned in the ad... what is the pay?

It sounds like the OP wants to hire herself for the job, which I understand. Moms want a clone. But that isn't always what you can find.

Anonymous said...

If she pays a top package ? She can find literally watever she want. But if she expect to pay market rate or below? Well she is not going to get far and will have to review severely her priorities.

Anonymous said...

Like I said in my comment (3rd from the bottom), unless she can pay over 110k plus awesome benefits (my gym is paid for, 80% of citi bike, 100% free healthcare, dental, 401k 100% match, and unlimited vacation time, oh and an apple watch) are all way out of reach for her, if someone had all those skills that she is seeking, they're way out of her league. Sorry, that's unreasonable to ask for.

Anonymous said...

(it's actually 5th from bottom now lol)

this_nick said...

I agree w/those calling this bs, because no one remotely familiar with this site would think giving a post like this and ending it with "help" would induce us to actually want to help.

OP said...

OP here. People do this all the time. I have friends who only employ Brazilian housekeepers. I have a friend who only wants an Israeli nanny, another friend who will take any type of nanny but a pretty one!

I am looking for a nanny that would have specific qualifications that put her in a pay category that I expect to be high. I know that. That isn't what I asked.

You nannies, are so silly. I should ad..."none such silly anonymous nannies from ISYN"

Anonymous said...

Okay...

OP, you are pretty much anonymous yourself so you really should shut up about that ;) and in case you haven't noticed , a couple non anonymous also had a go at you so once again, SHUT UP :)

Is this how you view nannies ? As silly? Honey if you do get the one you are looking for and speak about her like that or treat her badly, she will quit fairly quickly.

If you don't like the answers provided, why on earth do you ask ?

You seen horrendously full of yourself and fart way higher than your bleached ass. Poor kids, poor future nanny and poor husband if you haven't been dumped yet.

Anonymous said...

*seem

Anonymous said...

Just because you know people that do that, doesn't mean that it's right, or even legal to do that.

Sorry, but you sound like a miserable, not to mention ignorant (unvaccinated, are you kidding me?).

Good luck to the poor soul that is foolish enough to take it.

Anonymous said...

Well that just proves that your all a bunch of asses! Sounds like a lovely clan of friends....sarcasm of course. You and your friends are low class. That's all that you proved.

Angi

Anonymous said...

*youre

Angi

this_nick said...

OP, I think you should add "grammar expert" to the qualifications you're seeking. You could use a tutor.

Anonymous said...

Literally the best entertainment I've had in weeks!!! Thanks to all!

Jean said...

Don't believe it. Nice try though

Jean said...

Directed at "OP". Don't know why it posted here.

Kara Ivy said...

This has to be a joke! LOL