Wednesday

2015 The Firings, #5

So, I quite honestly had to fire my nanny because of her piercings. And not the ones you might think. She had a small piercing in her nose which was fine. She took my daughter swimming at the country club and my daughter came home and described to me that she observed the nanny taking "rings out of her nipple". I was not pleased.

I was fired because I was driving from Chappaqua to White Plains and did not pick up the phone when my boss was calling me. She has hands free high line cell in her car. I don't. She seriously told me, "you need to answer when I call. there is no excuse. You don't have to stay on the phone, just say you're driving". I only wish she had put it in writing.

I got fired on day three because the housekeeper cried to our employer that I got glitter and scrap paper all over the carpet in the family room, after she had vacuumed. It was day 3. It was a snow day. I suddenly had three children to entertain all day long. I thought I did pretty dang good! 

I fired my nanny because of her weight. I know this is a sensitive subject, so let's be clear, I too have struggled with my weight. We were getting into my Volvo and she was my passenger she could not get the seat belt on so she was content to GO WITHOUT. I got out of the car and struggled but eventually got her belted in. She was embarrassed. She looked uncomfortable. I was thinking her weight was just not safe anyway. What if the buckle gave way? And the car flipped and she landed on a child? I also noticed that our one month old sofa was already sagging in one particular spot which happened to be next to the baby's swing, where she sat. I told subsequent nannies why I fired her to gage their reactions. I gave her 2 weeks severance even though we were still in a trial period

I got fired from my nanny job after 7 months after the second stupid umbrella stroller got stolen while I was on the job. My boss deemed it "suspicious" and said she was left "questioning my character". After 7 months!

Tomorrow, we have some great stories on why the nanny quit. Care to add yours? Email us at isnyblog@gmail.com

60 comments:

Anonymous said...

The first post:

You are so Damn retarded to fire your Nanny over this o_o I mean wtf!

Alice said...

I agree with the poster above.

Firing your nanny for having personal piercings is above and beyond unprofessional, I'm pretty sure it isn't even legal but whatever have fun with those potential lawsuits in the future, haha.

I'm pretty fat but if I couldn't BUCKLE A SEATBELT in the front of the car, I wouldn't bother trying to work. As for the back seat, the belts are often TINY and yes sometimes I am tightly stuck in there.

I highly doubt the nanny would 'land on a child', more like she would be ejected from the vehicle in the case of an accident, since she'd be a 300+ pound projectile. But good try to justify, I guess.

Anonymous said...

To both of you above. It is entirely legal to fire your nanny for whatever reason you wish (now is it moral, that is a different discussion). A person could make a case based on racial, sexual, or religious discrimination, but the burden of proof would be on them to prove why they were terminated (I doubt the parents told the nanny that is why they were letting her go).

And I wouldn't hire someone with tattoos or piercings to be around my young, impressionable children. It is no different than any other "standard of care" a family expects from their caregiver.

For the record, I wouldn't have fired the overweight nanny. They knew what she weighed when they hired her. The piercing, they clearly didn't.

CN said...

Out of curiosity (not attacking, I don't even nanny anymore), do you ask in an interview if the nanny has tattoos and piercings? I have a small peace sign on my shoulder blade and you would never have seen it in anything I wore to work, except for a bathing suit. If I took your child(ren) swimming and they mentioned it, would I be fired, no matter how great of a nanny I was?

Anonymous said...

2.27 pm :

You are retarded as well ;)

Incredibly stupid to fire a nanny over this. I bet you are the frigid type of woman.

This is 2015, be open minded! As long as she doesn't have a tattoo on her wrist saying "fuck the police" what the hell do you think is wrong with having a piercing on the nipple !!

Damn people like you make me love the family i work for so much for being so laid back with that kind of thing.

As long as she does the job with your kids, why fire someone over a sooooo, incredibly stupid reason?

Wtf is wrong with the world 0-o !!

Anonymous said...

I would fire you for the use of retarded. It shows a lack of empathy for people with disabilities and does not teach my children those qualities or the use of language I do not want my children to use.

You can choose to do whatever you want with your body, and I can choose not to expose my children to that. I am not debating whether it is right or wrong, it is what it is.

The above posters commented that it was illegal to terminate a person because of weight or a piercing. As an attorney, I assure you it is not.

Anonymous said...

Darling , I would never work for you in the first place ;)

Anonymous said...

You wouldn't know. I'd be charming and witty and act completely open minded. And only reveal my true side once you worked for me.

Anonymous said...

Ps: don't forget to as you next nanny if she has any "shocking" piercing, or actually , tell her everything you don't won't your children to be exposed to.

I'm sure it will save you both tons of time

Yes you are retarded my dear and I won't take this word back ;)

I am actually a pretty good nanny, love dearly the kids I look after and respect them as well as my bosses who are likewise toward me.

I have EXELLENT references.

You see , I'm off work now so I can use watever language I want ;)

while I absolutely never swear in front of my charges. and if it was the case, trust me my boss would know very quickly about it as children repeat what they hear with great efficiency.

Firing a nanny because she swear in front of the kids, steal, cheat, lie, don't interact with the kids , obviously in just for the money with no genuine love for children, constant bad attitude or simply not a right fit. FAIR ENOUGH , I would be the first to say she deserved it and stand with the parents side.

Firing a nanny over a piercing on the nipple? No....really not fair and if you fire nannies for such small reasons, I maintain that I would never , ever want to work for someone like you ;).

Don't worry, your kids will eventually be exposed to much more that seing just a piercing on the nipple. Through the schools, social circles and so on. It's life.

I choose tolerance and open mind over what could have been an excellent, caring and loving nanny being fired due to a piercing on the nipple... RIDICULOUS...REALLY RIDICUlOUS

Anonymous said...

Which is why you should say everything you want and don't want during the interview process!

That way the Nanny will know what she is in for and signed up with your philosophies .

It would be a match and she could care for your kids and work alongside you for the long term.

They are A LOT of different kind of nannies and I'm sure that at at some point, there is a percentage of them that share this very conservative views ;)

Basically, you and the first post written , should get a Nanny that share your ideas . That way, it will work more smoothly.

We tend to forget about the children in that kind of topic. We don't know how lond she stayed and if the children got attached to her. It's also about being fair to them and what they are going through emotionally when your suddenly change the person who is suppose to care for him while the parents can't .

Anonymous said...

And I still stand by my original, valid point: parents are allowed to hire whom they want, as you are allowed to work for whom you want. It is best if everyone sees eye to eye; it will really make things go much more smoothly. I am very selective in my hiring process and encourage any prospective candidates to ask as many questions as they would like so we can ensure our values and practices line up as much as possible. I don't want to hire someone, have my children and myself get attached, and then have to terminate them. I also do a trial period. Again, as much for them as for me. The relationship that my nanny will have with our family is a precious one that I value and I would not want the experience of firing a nanny if it can be avoided.

I have never let a nanny go. Our first nanny got married and her husband was in the military. We sadly said goodbye after 2.5 years.

After her, we hired our current nanny, who has been with us a little less than 18 months. We adore her and I am 100% confident that she would say that she adores my children. If I found out that she had a small, easily concealed tattoo, no, I would not fire her. I would ask her to keep it covered at all times. If she was taking them swimming and a suit wouldn't cover it, I would ask her to keep a waterproof bandage over it. This is no different than restaurants that require employees to cover facial piercings with a bandage or wear long sleeves to hide tattoos, or even Starbucks that won't allow employees to wear colored nail polish. They are universally not acceptable to all clients, or seem garish.

You may be right that my children will see worse; my children are very young, however, and one of the biggest reasons that I choose to employ a nanny is so that I can retain control of those influences a bit longer.

However, I would write my nanny up immediately for using the word retarded and fire her if she continued to use it.

You want me to be open-minded and fair about a pierced nipple. It is 2015, you say. Well, in 2015, compassionate, open-minded people do not use the word retarded, off work or not.

Anonymous said...

There really needs to be a sarcasm font. I would obviously be open about what I wanted (see my reply above which elaborates further). I am very open about what I want and need. However, if a nanny doesn't mention tattoos, piercings, etc, and yes, I ask about them, then if I found out she had one, that would really be a bait and switch. Would I fire her? I wouldn't necessarily say so, it would depend on factors and emotions too numerous to expand upon here.

I also don't know that this is a "very" conservative view; I'd say the majority of the parents in the income level that can afford nannies are going to have more conservative views. I do agree with everything else you stated; it is a shame when children get attached to a caregiver and a caregiver to the children and it is best to minimize this for all involved. When my nanny left voluntarily (her moved to a post in Germany with her husband), it felt akin to someone dying. I was almost as upset at the children as I am not as heartless as you seem to think here. I believe the person caring for my children in my absence is doing a very valuable thing; one I wish I could do myself. I value my nanny... but since I can't be there, I do want that person to share in my value system.

Anonymous said...

Who says I said retarded regarding disabilities ? Once again you are ridiculous...

One word can have many meanings didn't you know ? Just because you choose to interpret what I said and turning it around me mocking disabilities doesn't mean it's the case.

Let's put things into the right contest shall we :) ?

In this case I used this word referring to the kind very conservative views that are as old as he 60s, NOT disabilities.

Yes this is 2015 and firing a Nanny over a reason as small as a piercing on the nipple is simply... Well RETARDED ;) whoops I said it again...

Anonymous said...

Let's put this in the right conTEXT.

Using the would retarded is politically incorrect and implies an ignorance of social issues and their complexities. Continuing to use it just shows a stubborn and inciteful personality.

Also, please review my commentary. I never stated I would terminate a nanny for any of these reasons. The original point I made was that it isn't illegal to do so.

Anonymous said...

If you don't listen to anything else that I say, please refer to the following resources and discontinue the utilization of the word retard (ed):

http://www.r-word.org/mobile/default.aspx

http://www.liftbump.com/2014/09/19592-please-dont-use-r-word/

Regardless of the context, it can be very hurtful. Despite our sparring here, I am sure you are a kind a considerate person who would not want to hurt someone's feelings.

Anonymous said...

For god sake don't school me about spelling. As you probably know smartphones have some autocorrecting setting failures...doesn't mean I can't write properly.

I use whatever word I wish my dear. As I said I'm off work now. Furthermore , what is politically correct or not for you is not much of a big deal for me. You shared your views, I shared mine. It's fair game.

I am actually a very happy, funny and bubbly women with absolutely none of what you stated above and therefore work for very happy bosses , loving, respectful children that I love very much.

Finally, we all have different views to express which we, I believe,surely did :)

Tattoonanny said...

This whole back and forth is silly. I have been a nanny for ten plus years and have a tattoo that can be seen and when I was hired for my first job years ago I had an eyebrow piercing. It was a very well off family and they cared more about my care of the child then how I particularly looked. But, had it been an issue I would have taken the piercing out or covered the tat with a bandaid no big deal. I have to cover it now in my current job in the medical profession and if nannies want to be treated professional than some of that same dress code concerns could be expected by certain families. No big deal to me. I would like to input that the continuing use of the word retarded is disturbing to me especially after the explanation of it offending someone. I have a special needs brother and it really very much does bother me when people just throw that word around so I would agree as well that it's not necessary and shows a lack of maturity to continue after asked politely to please not use it.

Anonymous said...

I use this word if I want as much as you choose to use the word silly ;)

I made it clear that I was not referring to disabilities when I employed it.

It's free speech.get over it.

TheirAmby said...

Wow. Okay then. Agree this back and forth is ridiculous, though we've seen way worse at ISYN.

That being said, the nanny continuing to use the r word is being a douche canoe. My sister has downs syndrome. Doesn't matter how you say it. The word is inflammatory and offensive. Use another word. It will fool us all into thinking you have the intelligence you claim you have.

CN said...

I do hope you realize that I'm a different poster than the anonymous poster who also replied to your comment. I do not and would not use the "r" word. I am still curious, though, if you ask about tattoos and piercings in your hiring process. If not, would you fire a nanny you otherwise loved because you found out she had a tattoo that would only be seen at work when wearing a bathing suit.

I worked for a family for 2 years before they even noticed I had a tattoo (they never asked). They joined a pool and their daughter noticed it. When she asked me about it, I told her I was 18 when I got it, it hurt to get it, and I wouldn't get it again if I had the chance. The parents didn't care in the least that I had a tattoo, but I'm curious if you would fire me for this, if you had been my employer.

CN said...

Whoops, just realize you did respond to my question in a comment below. Sorry about that!

Anonymous said...

Their Amby, you are the double douche canoe and I will use the word RETARDED as much as I want to. I am afraid there is nothing you can do to stop that. Careful using the word douche as some people could get offended ;) if you want to teach lessons , be yourself irreproachable with the words you use you troll.

Ah because you are all smart and intelligent yourself ? Doesnt seem so... More like a stupid judgmental person who wrongly interpreted what I meant.

Sorry for offending you... NO just kidding , you seem very STUPID.

CN said...

Thanks for responding to my question. I think that, since you do ask in your interview, it would be totally unfair and concerning if the nanny lied to you about having tattoos and/or piercings. The fact that they lied would raise a red flag for me.

Everyone has their parenting preferences, values, and beliefs. As long as they're legal, you have every right to choose a nanny based on those! Since you're upfront about what you want and need, and seem reasonable once you've found a nanny that fits those guidelines, you seem like a perfectly lovely employer. Just my two cents.

TheirAmby said...

If a box of douches, or canoes for that matter, would be offended, then my apologies to them.

The r word is an entirely different manner. If you can't see that... well, there isn't anything that can be done to help you or the poor kids you nanny for.

Anonymous said...

The kids I nanny for are incredibly happy :D I've been with them for the past 3 years and they are awesome little human being. thank you for your concerns though !

Yes I said retarded referring to views that are ancient to me, NOT disabilities. It then got put out of context and misinterpreted into me making fun of disabled and to be honest, I wasnt even thinking of it that way when I used it.

People get offended everyday with many different things. If you or others are offended with this word I used although I didn't mean it AT ALL in a sense of mocking the disabled? Be it .

Anonymous said...

Piercing: You guys are concentrating on the piercings and not the real reason here. She exposed her nipples to take them out in front of the child. THIS is the problem and something I completely agree was wrong on the nannys part.

I am a very open minded nanny but this should have been done in private! It's unprofessional to expose your PRIVATE parts in front of the kids over infanthood completely unnecessarily so. Of course, if you have t use the restroom with the charges in toe (like in public) that's one thing. This was not necessary and opened the sensitive conversation with the child without first discussing it with the parents first.

It's not the piercings people, its deeper than that.

Angi

Some Young-Lady said...

Uhhh what?? Nipple piercings can be seen through bathing suits.

The child would obviously see them if they were changing at the pool.

Someone should seriously take away your internet. Jesus.

Anonymous said...

Learn to read. That wasn't what happened.

Angi

this_nick said...

Angi, you're not reading. The post says she fired the nanny BECAUSE OF the piercings. You often draw conclusions that a poster or commenter is really saying something other than what they're saying - while knowing none of the parties involved. I've enjoyed some of your comments in the past but lately it seems like you've gotten so full of yourself as to appear ridiculous. Take it down a notch, girl.

this_nick said...

Let's just all agree that the gutless anon who keeps using the R word is a horrible excuse for a human and would be SO fired if her boss read her comments.

Anonymous said...

This_nick

I saw some of your comments in the past and your far...OH VERY FAR to be irreproachable when it comes to language used.

So I return this to you :) YOU WILL BE SOOO FIRED If YOUR BOSS READ some of your comments !!!

Why don't you shut up :D your pathetic...

French Lady said...

This_nick

I also came across some of your comments (you are in a lot of post so its hard to miss you)
You tend to be harsh too and you are far from perfect when it comes to be polite. If I was your boss, I would fire you too regarding some of your comments you previously made.

I agree, the R word should not be used but she made it VERY CLEAR multiple times that she was not referring to the disabled yet you and a couple of other comments are still feeding on it like piranhas. If she worked for me and said such a word,I would tell her not to use it again and if she carries on, terminate her. That being said, she is probably not going to use it again anytime soon and say another word instead.

You are saying that Angie is full of herself but i must say you kind of are too.

Jessica said...

Agreed! It also looks so ridiculous to read a bunch of anonymous posts where they all argue with other anonymous posts

Djamila Vera said...

I agree! While I really don't condone this word, she made it clear that she didn't mean to offend the disabled so I find this repeated attacks on her ridiculous, as you said, they feed on it like piranhas (I like this expression :) )

Anonymous said...

You obviously didnt read it either Nick. It is clear to me that she was fired because she took them OUT OF HER NIPPLE in front of the kid. There is absolutely no need to do that.

Angi

this_nick said...

"I quite honestly had to fire my nanny because of her piercings."

When you're snarking at people to read you should take your own advice. Or you do you and just keep insisting on your superior insight while everyone else rolls our eyes.

this_nick said...

Of course in our private time we can use whatever language we wish, but the R word isn't simply foul language. It doesn't matter how you intend it any more than if you say the N word. It's about systematic disrespect for an entire group of people who've lived their lives being abused by that word. Your failure to stop using it indicates an apathy towards those with disabilities, and my bosses would be damn proud of me for pointing that out.

They'd also be unsurprised by anything I say here, as they are well acquainted with my vocal opinions, passionate social justice beliefs, and zero tolerance for bullshit. I've no doubt called out a few brave anons who are (once again with courageous anonymity) criticizing me now; fair enough.

For those of you who claim such familiarity with my posts, you seem to have some trouble remembering them. At no time have I claimed to be some paragon of polite language and appealing social graces. Again, the issue isn't about me but a group of people who do not deserve to have this word thrown around that's been used so cruelly against them. If the commenter using it was seriously going to stop she wouldn't have needed to repeatedly defend her flippant use of such a vile word; this, in fact, is the main problem. Not that she made a mistake and used it, but that she didn't educate herself as to why it was heinous and admit the error.

Finally, I enjoy commenting here and giving my own brash take on things, as do all of you. Yes, I'm full of myself to an extent, and have stated here more than once that I can be an asshole. When something I read annoys or angers me you'll know it. It's cool that you don't like it or me; I'm fine with that.

Whatever faults I have, I'm one of the few here to post as my actual self. This means you know it if I've criticized or insulted you, even if I don't know who you are. Meanwhile, most of the other people who did so did it anonymously, so I can see why you'd be most upset with me. The anons who make numerous comments that enrage you never need stand by the cumulative total of the things they say, so it's me you'll judge. I'm okay with that because I know I'm not hiding behind the anonymous label when I say things. You gotta like that at least I let you know who just pissed you off.

Ok, you don't gotta, but you should!

this_nick said...

TheirAmby: Douche canoe is the single greatest dig I've seen in forever, and I plan to use it on the next douche canoe I see. (Not counting looking in the mirror, as the element of surprise would be decidedly absent.)

Anonymous said...

I agree with some of your points though if we want to post as anonymous, we do! It's available, simple to use and we can express our points as well. As long as there is no trolling , why juge?

This_Nick doesn't tell me much about you either and appart from the picture (if it's you in it) I haven't got a clue of who you are and frankly, I don't expect to. You can express your views as freely as the anonymous comments. And if we wish to remain private, it's our choice and shouldn't be bullied for that.

The only thing annoying with the anonymous comments is that sometimes you have no idea who is who when you see 2 discussions

If you were always putting your full and last name (I don't recommend to do it) then I would say, you are definitely brave by doing so.

As much as you said that your family won't fire you for swearing because they know who you really are and your good points, why don't you give a break to the other one. I would personally don't hire you for swearing but this is me, and I am sure that you are a good fit for the other family you work.

Back to the anonymous point: unless you comment with your full name,you are about as courageous as us because I haven't got a clue of who you are either. Maybe you should create a blog where only genuine full name will be aloud to comment, that way you will be less frustrated.

this_nick said...

Thanks for the response. My point isn't that no one should comment anonymously, but that it doesn't take anything to say something controversial or criticize someone else as an anon. Because I log in you know it was me that said what I did every time I do. Plenty don't and will say something way outta line (hello, R word) so are not accountable. Yes, saying something like that anonymously is gutless. This is not to say saying *anything* anonymously is. At any rate I'm not frustrated by it, just find it funny that people wanna try and act all big and bad secretly. If you wanna throw shade at anyone or an entire innocent group, have the balls to at least sign your posts, you know?

this_nick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
this_nick said...

I do think it'd be nice if people debating in a post signed a name (any name they make up, I don't care) just so readers can keep track of which comment belongs to which combatant lol.

this_nick said...

Shoot, I forgot you can't edit and deleted. Anyway, unfortunately for me yes, that's my actual pic and Nick is my name.

Anonymous said...

Even if you sign by "this_nick" I still haven't got a clue of who you are. To me, you are not much different than the anonymous post apart from the fact that you have a username and a picture and it's ok! As I said I really don't recommend to put the full details of yourself online because you never know what could happen.

You also quiet often act all big and bad and I would say secretly too because once again, your username says nothing about who you are ! So you don't have much balls either.

Come back on this site with your full name and then I'll be able to say you are really courageous to put yourself out there without username but please stop bullying the people that choose to post as anonymous because you are commenting kind of anonymously yourself.

I think that before judging ( you tend to do that a lot) and bullying others, you really should see at your own actions first.

If you comment with your full name, and mock the ones posting as anonymous? Okay but a username vs anonymous? Recognise it or not it is quiet the same.

People should respect each post regardless on how they choose to do it as long as there is no abuse.

this_nick said...

I feel like I'm writing in English yet it's not getting through. The point isn't that people should make snarky comments under their full name or share their personal details. The point is there is a difference between doing so anonymously (as you are now) or signing your name to it. Angi uses the anonymous posting option but always signs her posts, so stands by what she says through her identifiable history here. So even though her and I butt heads all the time I have way more respect for people who own what they say through using the same name each time they post than those who don't. If you don't grasp that I'm sorry 'bout it.

Anonymous said...

I don't care if you have more respect for people who have a nickname than the one who post anonymously. If we want to do so , we do it and that's it. You can complain all you want. You speak like you are so perfect and honourable but clearly you are incredibly full of yourself.
People are not going to stop posting anonymously just because princess mrs This_nick ( pretty much anonymous as well) requested so.

this_nick said...

I have clearly made the error of speaking to you as if you're intelligent. My mistake. I've obviously hit a nerve with you, since I'm not criticizing all anons, just the ones who want to troll someone without backing it up with a name. You're upset because you fall into that category, but I don't get why since you don't care about my opinion.

If this was a site where everyone used their full name I would too, but I won't give out more specific personal info where no one else does. The fact remains I sign all of my posts with my actual first name and you don't, so I subject myself to answering for my history here (as I am now) while you don't. Yes, that means I respect me more than you, but you shouldn't care since you don't.

this_nick said...

Anyway while I'm wildly flattered at having my own personal anon troll, the main point we're losing here is the R word isn't okay. I don't blame someone for nor knowing this, only for refusing to learn. Speak to a family member of someone with special needs or someone who themselves who has special needs and be enlightened as to how it makes them feel. You'll be glad you did!

this_nick said...

*not knowing this - not nor

Anonymous said...

Don't speak like you were smart because your clearly not even though you desperatly trying to appear so everytime you comment.

You are kind of a troll yourself since I've seen a couple comments of yours in the past clearly disrespecting other post. Let's say your a troll who speaks as this_nick but still a troll.

Oh and your right I really, reaallly don't care about opinions that come from someon who've been herself less than respectful in numerous other post.

Anonymous said...

You started it but my pleasure :)

For your record I'm not the one that use the R word, I'm just tired of people complaining about anonymous comments. It's available so we use it , as simple as that. The day it is no longer available then it will be another way

this_nick said...

Yeah the point here is the R word is bad and let's not use it.

this_nick said...

You don't care so much you keep coming back for more of my particular wisdom. Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

Haha I return this to you :) you seem to enjoy it too !

this_nick said...

I totally am! Such hilarious logic is a treat to behold.

Anonymous said...

Your logic is incredibly hilarious as well ;) you are trying so hard to act smart and that I must say is a great to behold.

Anonymous said...

*treat

Jenny said...

Well this escalated quickly!

this_nick said...

Hahaha right? Mostly my fault since the kids napped a looong time after we swam all morning and I was bored. My bad!

Jenny said...

No! It was funny! Your own personal anon! Go you; )