Saturday

"The Incompetence Astounds Me"

     Why is it so hard to get someone to respond to an ad who fits the qualifications? Only about two percent of those who respond to my ad fit all of the requirements. What makes a nanny think she can negotiate her way past some of these critical requirements?
Amelia Bedelia
My Ad:
American nanny, with social security card and ability to work in the Unites States needed by family of five for one year minimum commitment. Must drive and have a US driver's licence. Must be height and weight proportionate and fit enough to chase after young children, play soccer and take long walks. A strong swimmer is essential. *For clarification this means that you can swim multiple strokes and swim in deep or shallow water. This means you can tread water for at least five minutes. 
We are seeking a nanny free of psychological or mood disorders. We want someone who is happy. Please be someone who smiles and greets people in the morning with a positive and cheery voice. Please be educated beyond high school, minimum 2 years. Your religious, sexual and political affiliation is not relevant to us, please don't try to make it so. Please be familiar with basic tenants of child development and open to understand our parenting philosophy. We do not punish our children, nor do we bribe them or reward them. We do not do time outs. We see everything as a teaching moments. We do not yell, threaten or coerce. If this is too "sappy" or "crunch" for you, then we are not the family for you. We will be paying you on the books, on a weekly basis. We pay above the market rate and based on your experience.  We prefer a live-out nanny but if you are exceptional and need a live in position, we can make that work. We require a minimum of three childcare references, two personal references and two family references. If you smoke cigarettes, do not reply to this ad. If we hire you and find out that you smoke, you will be immediately and unapologetically terminated. International travel is required for approximately 30 days per calendar year. (3-4 trips of 6-10 days).
Clean criminal background is essential. 

      How could I be more clear? No, really. HOW COULD I BE MORE CLEAR?

43 comments:

Lacy said...

I see two problems with your add. These two problems count as discrimination; well now that I think about it there are 3 problems.

1.) The height and weight portion. No employer can specify what type of body an employee can have; you are not Victoria Secrets hiring an Angel. The fitness level is ok, that is a legitimate part of the job. For the record I have a BMI of 19.

2.) The part about the physiological disorders. 1 in 4 Americans have one or a mood disorder. It is illegal for an employer to ask about it. Most all people with a disorder hide it well; they have the help of medication and therapy, these people live NORMAL lives. For the record I am a nanny with ADHD, mild Asperger, and anxiety; guess what non of my employers know, all of them think I am amazing with their children. One past employer found out, do you know what happened next? They said "wow I never knew, this gives me hope for the other children in my life diagnosed with that and other disorders", I asked if their opinion of me changed-- it didn't change, I am and still am a great nanny.

3.) No smoking. It seems to be a trend for the nanny world. I don't smoke. Employers can't say "No smokers"; however, you can say no smoking on the job site, around the children or employers, or when doing a job errand, ect. Nannies don't get breaks or lunches, usually, so the chances a smoker would want the job knowing they can't smoke: on the property, around the kids/parents, when out and about on a job duty; is highly unlikely.

Anonymous said...

You are waiting to be sued....I hope it happens, too. You're an asshole.

Anonymous said...

You should definitely think about taking care of your own children, because you sound like an awful person to work for. And this is coming from an employed, healthy, fit, non smoker, who has no mood or psychological issues. Not that there is ANYTHING wrong with having mood/psych issues as long as the person is getting help.

Jessica said...

Crystal clear but I wouldn't work for you for all the gold in Gringotts! You sound like horrible people! There are thousands of nannies who would fit your criteria, but your repugnant tone would turn them off! There are ways to ensure you get what you want without being a jerk!

Heidi said...

It's definitely the tone. It's very clear from your ad that you are cold and care too much about physical appearance. And maybe you actually aren't that way. If that is the case, re-word your ad. I would never accept a position that is stated that way as you do not seem like a friendly/warm person to work for.

Miss Dani The Nanny said...

I'm an agency owner, and if saw this kind of description in a family application, I would politely tell you we are not a fit for each other. No questions, no obligation to give a reason. I would turn you away and not even bother furthering the placement process.

As parents, you are entitled to have specific traits in candidates that you feel best suit your family and lifestyles. There is a line between traits, being superficial and sounding ignorant. Congrats, you have crossed that line, appear superficial and sound ignorant.

I'm a career educator and nanny, plus sized, with epilepsy and ADHD, and energy to chase after little ones. I also have anxiety, and a pinch of depression due to childhood trauma and bad parenting. I have a degree in early childhood, four semesters each of psychology and sociology, experience with all age groups, and belong to three professional organizations that promote high quality childcare and strong caregiver-family relationships.

Am I not qualified enough to be a nanny? Should I start working at Subway because I am not fit and have ADHD?

I work in a ore school and nanny part time. I had an interview this morning and MB is very interested; so interested I'm meeting DB Monday evening.

And I'm a career educator and nanny, plus sized with epilepsy and ADHD, and energy to chase after little ones. I also have anxiety, and a pinch of depression due to childhood trauma and bad parenting.

Each state has their own laws in regard to what can be asked job applicants. Find out what questions you can legally ask and those you can't. Next, rewrite your "decsription" and get your head out of butt. You need a reality check. What you are seeking is the perfect nanny, and perfect nannies only exist on TV and in movies. The average American woman is a size 12-14, many people have pinches of anxiety disorders and some may have more serious issues. That's who we are, and we can't help it. Some of make the choice to smoke, and are able to refrain from doing it around kids. ITA it's a gross habit.

Get off your pedastal. Better yet, everyone on this thread will help you do it.

Anonymous said...

Yep, the tone of your ad is a BIG turn off.

The only people that will be "attracted" to your ad are the desperate ones that need a job ASAP. They will put up with your shit because they will have to but as soon as they will have a better financial situation they will dump you, often without notice to go to a better family.

Welcome to the nannies world, and if you want a nanny that's suits your criteria, since they are very wanted and a loooot of family are ready to offer her a lot of perks in order to get them to stay. You will need to be verrrryyy nice to her .

I'm not even qualified though I have 5 years of experience and hell no I would not work of you. Not having a childcare degree never stopped me from getting a job my dear...

Hope you come down from your pedestal.

Anonymous said...

Hold on...

You don't discipline your kids?? HUGE MISTAKE. Your are going to raise entitled brats. Your Nanny is clearly going to be miserable and since you won't let her discipline them, your kids will treat her like crap and she will quit and so on with the other nannies. You will go through nannies like some women do with men.

You should reconsider the discipline part. Your kids might be cute and innocent now. Wait until they are teenager ;) you will have absolutely NO CONTROL. Furthermore , they will thoroughly despise their parents for not teaching them the essentials of life and they will feel a huge frustration with people telling them no or standing up to them.

You were speaking of psychology disorders but my friend you are on the right path of raising SOCIOPATH!Poor kids...Poor future nanny...

Anonymous said...

Sounds like my comment has just been erased so I'll say it again ;)

Not disciplining your kids is a very bad idea.
As an adult, if I attack someone, rob, lie, cheat I will have consequences, small or big ones depending on my crime. If I'm excellent at something, work hard to achieve a goal , I get a reward. If I don't do anything special, then i get nothing but what's normal.

If the kids when grown up have never had any kind of discipline, they are going to have a big problem with authority as an adult and will not understand what happen since they always had everything they wanted.

So many parents nowadays that are totally ok to raise entitled brats and then are suprised they kids are out of control as teenagers.

Perhaps my language in the previous post didn't please although there weren't any swearing but anyway hope the blog will be more pleased with this comment :D .


OTNanny said...

I will second the above comments and say that in my years of experience with families, the OP's "parenting style" as described is nearly always code for "we don't believe in enforcing rules, boundaries, or consequences, are afraid to say 'No' to our kids, and think they are special snowflakes when, in reality, they are needy, entitled monsters". I have extensive post-secondary (graduate level) education and experience in all aspects of child development, and this "style" goes against the basic tenets (not "tenants"). The best, most qualified nannies are generally going to run for the hills from these types of ads, which is likely why this person cannot find anyone to fill the position.

Anonymous said...

There was a child in my class who was asked to leave the center by our administrator and center director because her behavior was a safety concern:

Last summer, this child at 2y 4m was asked to leave the gate alone and redirected from the gate. She opened the gate and ran into the parking lot, laughing about it.

Our class uses a "shape rope" for going the playground or gym. She was asked to hold the rope. She let go, and ran away from the group. A member of admin saw her and the class was forbidden to go on walks. We had to stay within the confines of the fence to get to gym, as this child would run.

And this was before I gor into the classroom. When I got in there, I refused to put up with this child's crap, which was the fault of the parents. She wanted to do what she wanted to do, and I put my foot down, which made her cry. And she would scream. She would run around the classroom, and I grabbed her by the arm, forced her to sit in the chair and she tried getting away from me. I got in her ass, and told her no, she would not run in the classroom and she was going to sit down or I would help her sit down. She would cry and scream if she didn't get her way, and I know I scared the shit out of her by making her to as she was asked, and not gving into her the way M and D did.

We were lined up to come in from outside, and I made her stand next to me and hold the rope. She was trying to run away from me, and said she would hold the rope. I let her go, but stopped her from running. She was so mad because I wouldn't let her do what she wanted to do, and she slapped me across the face.

Between 11/10/14-2/10/14, I and other staff members wrote up 20 incident reports for her inappropriate behavior. She was treated like a princess, and D would speak to her in a high pitched baby voice, while M couldn't figure out what they were doing wrong as parents. M even asked if I would bribe her to listen and give in to her.

Ummm, no. And both of you need the get the balls to stand up to a 2 year old.

My last straw came when this child, now 2y 10m, refused to put on snowpants and boots. She kept running around the classroom, because she didn't want to put on snowpants for outside time. She tood on a chair and had other kids follow her example. She also climbed furniture after being asked several times to stop. I finally took her to the office and explained what happened to my boss, who asked me to call M and D and talk to them. I told my boss if I talked to M and D, I wouldn't have a job the next day, because I would tell them what they needed to hear, and I didn't trust myself not to. I was beyond fed up, because I couldn't teach with her in my room.

Finally, she was asked to leave due to her behavior. My boss gave it some thought and realized nothing was going to change.

"'If your child hears the word no for the first time when they are 14, you have a problem'".

Not today! said...

Listen, I couldn't care less if a child is never told NO by her parents. S/He will hear it from me. Parents cannot micromanage and hover over their children for life. I'm a school teacher. I will ask you once to do something. If you refuse, there will be consequences: loss of privileges, time out, missing out on activities and trips the other kids get etc... I believe in natural consequences. Not listening to authority figures is a big no no. Ask yourself. Would you rather your child learn by disobeying his teacher and getting a time out/detention or would you prefer he disobey a police officer and end up in real hot water?

Back to the topic at hand: You're a disgusting example of a NF. I hope you get exactly the sort of nanny you deserve!

RBTC said...

i really liked Lacy's response - it does not help to curse and use sub standard language and imagery to try and teach the parents how to be the best they can be ;(

Monika said...

What a blowhard

Anonymous said...

I'm plus size, born with a bunch of congenital issues that has also sprung off to some mental disorders (completely managed without drugs and no issues in over 15years), didn't go to college. I am healthy, VERY active, get down and dirty with the kids, and have 30 years experience with kids, last 10+ years working with special needs, medical needs and situations (even court appointed by a GAL) and homeschooling to meet the demands of the courts and school systems (children that have been kicked out of schools because of trauma at home or adoptions). I guess I don't fit your little bubble of perfection. :/

Angi

Anonymous said...

Oh and I was a lifeguard and peer to peer councelor as a teen, volunteer EMS years ago with current training, very positive cheerful fun person and use everything in life as a teaching moment while still disciplining when necessary (because that's important to not raise a brat). I've had parents that are therapists, teachers and doctors...all give me stellar reviews.

Anonymous said...

I can only assume you are perfect and thus want everyone around you to be perfect

Anonymous said...

IS this for real? I can't believe you would even post this on here hoping for sympathy.
-B

OP & Great Mother & Employer said...

Hi-
I submitted this ad. I have advertised everywhere. Excuse the typos, I live on my phone.
I interviewed someone today who is coming back for a second interview. In your rush to judge me, you illuminated the idiotic mentality of so many nannies. No I am not raising entitled brats. The child care philosophies I subscribe to are more evolved than clearly you are. My children are well behaved, responsible and delightful children. I will not have them chastized or coerced to behaving. I want them to chose to make the right choices and to treat people the way they want to be treated. It is more work, and therefore, as I have found, looks like TOO MUCH work for your average nanny.
Wish me luck.
PS There is probably a reason many of you bring home $700 a week. (Cough/laugh/shudder/wink)

Anonymous said...

And your posts clearly speak to who you are. I don't see a good nanny staying with you long. Your personality wreaks of several words not meant to post here. The only good luck I will wish is the nanny that gets sucked into your home unrealizing just exactly who you are later. Hopefully she will have the strength to leave you for better and nicer opportunities.

Not your average nanny said...

You amuse me, OP. You fail at snark and probably at parenting. Many of us have degrees in Childhood Development and or Child Psychology. I haven't made 700 per week since I was an undergrad many years ago. I am paid extremely well by parents who are not smug, uninformed, ignorant buffoons. If you expected a website read by nannies to support your ridiculous-most likely illegal- hiring requirements then you should rethink. You do not seem to understand cause and affect. You seem to be under the misconception that your money earns you the right to mistreat an employee. First of all, no amount of money justifies that. Your children will NEVER learn the Golden Rule. YOU haven't learned it. How can they be delightful, well behaved and responsible when their parent isn't? I've never in my life run into such arrogant blatant ignorance!

Dee said...

Whoa,
From a size 10 nanny that battles GAD and depression, I think you guys are being way too harsh on OP.
Besides the fact that you are eliminating a very good percentage of otherwise qualified nannies because you don't want anyone with psych/mood disorders (no one but myself, doctor and few others know about my disorders and I know many excellent nannies and people with similar disorders) you're not asking anything unreasonable.
Proportionate doesn't mean a size 2. I think many nannies got offended/defensive because many nannies are overweight.
Your parenting style is your parenting style.
I think she ultimately want and active, drama free, happy nanny and she is being straightforward.
You have every right to be picky with the person who is going to be caring for your children

Dee said...

Wants an*
Please excuse my typos.

Anonymous said...

OP:

Shut up. Seriously. Everyone on this board knows you are so full of yourself you would probably break a mirror due to the ugliness you possess in your thoughts of nannies being beneath you.

Amy said...

I "subscribed" to the same philosophy with my eldest. She was a polite, loving, smart, well-mannered, caring, helpful child....until she hit 13. Now she has no concept of "no" is unwilling to do anything except what she wants to do, is mean and angry. I wish I would have disciplined her now! Needless to say i am going a different route with my son. Good luck!

Alice said...

Well, OP. .. Pretty sure none of us believe you. Lol. Good luck with your future life of servitude for your then adult children. Lmfao.

Jenny said...

@Dee, you're rushing to judgement. Are you serious? "most nannies are overweight" Really? I'm not nor are any of the nannies with whom I associate. But overweight does not equal unfit. There's a nanny at the park near us who is 200+ but I swear she's like the energizer bunny! Just like there are HWP nannies who cannot run or be active.

The issues I have with op aren't related to weight or drama. She's perfectly within her rights to want a legal, on the books, happy and qualified nanny. The issue is that she's assuming that someone with ADHD/ADD or is otherwise on the spectrum would be unqualified to nanny.

There are lots of people who would make great nannies but she is dismissing them out of hand. Her parenting style is up to her, but a lot of experienced ,educated nannies have told her that kids need boundaries. The first time a child hears no will be devestating if he/she hears it as a teen or adult.

Dee said...

Jenny,
If you're going to quote me, quote me correctly. "Many nannies are overweight". Simply, it's true. She must have come across many unfit nannies. Obviously many overweight nannies are not as fit as nannies of a healthy weight.

Anonymous said...

OP:

My dear, you are farting way higher than your ass...

I'm earning double 700 per week minus bonuses and guess what ? I'm not qualified. Crazy huh?

Yes darling, YOU ARE raising entitled brats and they might still be "nice" and "cheerful" now but wait patiently until they are teenager. Don't believe me ? You'll see when this time will come and you will deeply , oh deeply WHISH you had disciplined them.

You shouldn't have been a mother in the first place because your poor kids are going to learn about principle and respect the VERY hard way, by the people outside the family buble who don't have attachment to your kids and will have no second though about putting then back in their place, once again, THE HARD WAY.

Being a mother is not just cuddling, kissing, cheering, admiring, praising your kids.

Being a mother is also about once in awhile putting your foot down and say NO, teach, warn, punish,and afterward reconcile when you have too.

It is because you love them that despise hating it to see them cry, upset and frustrated,you carry on dicipline them so when reached 18, they will be prepared and ready for the tough life that is outside your family bubble!! They will be responsible, independent, and happy that their parents did BOTHER to train them properly.

I'm afraid that your are the lazy one in the story.

You wrote to this blog in order to get opinions. Well there you got over 20 different ones and I don't need to tell you what does the majority think as you pretty much can see for yourself.

Your nanny is probably desperate to even consider your position and with you refusing to put boundary to your child, she'll either get fired while trying to dicipline them or she will dump you and quit to work for a MB that has a little bit more values than you do :)

Ablolutely NO nannies with YEARS of experience and QUALIFIED in CHILDCARE DEVLOPMENT will stay with you long term. I can bet you already had a few nannies despite having young kids. BIG RED FlAG for the good nannies your looking for...

Excellent families will have maximum 2 to 3 nannies until the majority of their children. I have a feeling you are going to have a lot more than that ;)

Anonymous said...

Having nannies is clearly not for you... Have you considered daycare?

Gianluca of ISYN said...

Please stop posting anonymous comments! Use a moniker!

Jenny said...

Sorry for misquoting you, but it's simply not true in MY experience that many nannies are overweight. Obviously being a healthy weight is better for overall health, but I still think that being plus size automatically equals unhealthy

Jenny said...

Does NOT automatically equal *

Anonymous said...

OP is literally the worst person I've ever seen on this site.

Anonymous said...

Gianluca the reason why people post anonymous comments is simply because it's available. How about you guys take off the option for us to post anonymous comments?
Otherwise as long as the website allow us to post as anonymous, I'm afraid we will carry on ;)

Anonymous said...

I have all of the so called "requirements" this woman wants and I would NEVER, EVER. in a million years work for such a lunatic!!! ha! good luck trying to find someone that will put up with your nasty arrogant self! yikes!!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you Seriously we nanny's are paid for slaves to these people. Lol

Anonymous said...

Awesome!!!!!

Monika said...

This woman is a complete loon. I feel for anyone that works for her, mothered by her or married to her!

Anonymous said...

She would get kicked out of daycare

Anonymous said...

Totally agree....the one with psychological issues is somebody else but no precisely the prospective nanny...

this_nick said...

I can see why this mom doesn't want a nanny with psychological disorders; that might seem a bit too much added to her own.

Anonymous said...

Op.... what a bitch