(another) Sensitive Subject

   I don't know how to handle this. I have worked as a nanny for 6 years. This is my first time being a nanny for old, school aged children. The kids are all in school, so during the day, I do their laundry, make dinner and keep the house clean. (A housekeeping team comes every Friday morning for 4 hours).
     The twelve year old boy is getting older and he masturbates a lot. I know this because there is evidence everywhere, in his bathroom, bedroom, the theater room, even shared hall bathrooms.  His sheets basically need to be washed about everyday, and mostly we're talking full bedding. My job is not really to clean bathrooms, but to keep them clean, which means, keeping spots of mirror, wiping toothpaste out of sink. I don't mop or clean toilets.
     I grew up in a family of girls, so I don't know how this is handled. I am afraid if I mentioned this to the family, they would think I was complaining about doing my job, or a pervert or trying to shame him. Is there a talk that a family would usually have with a boy who is leaving materials all over the house? An etiquette book? Am I wrong to think that he should clean up after himself, every time without discussion?I also think that if his covers are covered in spunk that he should strip the bed and start the laundry. I don't think I'm being a germaphobe but I don't really want to touch any bodily fluids. I'd like to handle this gracefully. The parents are both super busy, type A and we communicate in notes back and forth.

Situation? Email


Anonymous said...

First have a convo with dad. This his department. Offer to help if necessary but ultimately, it's up to dad. The boys stuff and room should be of limits. If they have an issue, revert back to said convo.


Anonymous said...

First leave a note saying you need to speak with them about a sensitive subject and do not feel okay leaving it in a note. Second just tell them you know it's a natural human thing for kids to start exploring their body at this age. However you are not comfortable with having to clean up after him when he does so. Who knows how "in tune" they are about this matter right now so saying something may be a good thing to open up their lines of communication with him on this.

Thirty something. said...

Eurgh. Now that is just nasty. I would speak with his parents and let them decide how to handle things. Given that they sound so busy and you have been picking up the house before they get home, maybe they havent even noticed. I can't believe he just leaves stuff in such a mess! Gross!

yuck said...

Just ask to speak to the parents. It's natural but I wouldn't want to clean it up. Then again I don't change anybody's sheets.

Thirty something said...

Another less subtle way would be to just leave it. Don't wipe it down, don't change his sheets. Maybe he will get the hint or his parents will notice the nastiness and have a word with him. They are unlikely to take issue with you not cleaning up after him.

Anonymous said...

I'm a male nanny and I've had to have this talk a few times. Some of the families I've worked for have been singe mother households, so I'm the only guy around to talk to the boys about these things. I just handle things frankly. When you make a stigma about something it becomes a stigma.