Monday

The Borrowed Nanny

     I just wanted to share my experience with you. I live in NYC. I work as a consultant and had been working less than ideal after going through two nannies in six months. At the park, I would speak with other mothers and nannies and let them know what I was looking for. One nanny that I had observed for awhile said she was looking to make a change because her employer was paying her only $600 for the week as a live-in. I told her we didn't have the space for a live-in so I was looking for a live-out but could pay $20/hr for 40 hours and $25 for hours over 40. We exchanged emails and phone numbers. She told me she would need to give notice. She texted me that her employer was very disappointed but that she could start in two weeks. She started working on Saturday with us to acclimate the kids to her. The children liked her and I got a great feeling of her. She started on April 27,  as planned to start full time as a live out.  It felt like my life changed. I suddenly had a savy, smart, punctual and energetic nanny full of ideas who seemed to love her job.
   
Stephanie Graegin
      In her activities with our children, she was at the park and observed the nanny who replaced her. She didn't identify herself to the nanny but observed her. Apparently, she even took a photo. She texted it to her former employer and let her former employer know the new nanny was unkind and not paying attention to the children.  At the time, all she told me was that she saw her replacement and felt bad for the kids.
     Unbeknownst to me, the mother and her met for coffee and spoke last week. They offered her the same salary she is making here to live-in and work more hours there. Not only did she take it, but she informed me by text, Saturday morning that she would not be returning on Tuesday because she was going back to her former employers. I had never imagined such a thing could happen. I'm also upset because I would not have hired a nanny who did not give her former employers notice, but she didn't show me the same favor.

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11 comments:

Smalltownnanny said...

Nanny poaching at its finest! If your nanny had no problems quickly leaving her old employers did you really think she would stay long term loyal to you.

Nanny said...

Agree with Smalltown. A nanny who will allow herself to be poached, can also be poached away from her poacher. Just like in romantic relationships. If someone will cheat for you, they will cheat on you.


In her defense- if she needed one- she probably loved her 'kids' and her only complaint was money. The first family realized her worth and stepped up with more money. It was horrible of her not to give notice, but I can't fault her for going for the money.

petunia clark said...

You reap what you sow

this_nick said...

This is like when one of my NKs is upset that her brother steals back the toy she initially stole. Guess we don't always outgrow that!

this_nick said...

Also you were paying her only $200 more a week as a live-out; considering what rent is in NYC, she wasn't any better off financially being employed by you than she was before. (Not a criticism of the salary - just pointing out that she may not have realized whatever financial gain she imagined probably didn't materialize when accounting for her additional expenses.)

this_nick said...

*wouldn't materialize, not didn't

Miss Dani The Nanny said...

Two nannies in six moths makes some nannies cringe, and others think you, as the employer, are the problem. I don't know the NYC nanny market, but from what i have read here, there are some crappy nannies. Perhaps you had bad nannies, or a great nanny who had to leave due to circumstances. Either way, I feel bad for you, yet at the same time, you did take a nanny from another family with the lure of pay. It hapoens, and This Nick is right, perhaps nanny miscalculated expenses or thought over her decision carefully, realizing working for you wasn't a gain.

Just out of curiosity, did the topic of a nanny share come up? Not defending your nanny's actions, but since both of you like her, is a share a possibility?

Anonymous said...

OP,
This is America. We are free to leave and take jobs at will.

this_nick said...

While that's true, it's a shitty move for a nanny to leave with only one weekend's notice. It can take weeks to find a suitable caregiver for one's children. A professional nanny shouldn't just up and leave a family hanging like that (unless the work situation was intolerable, which doesn't sound like the care here.)

this_nick said...

*case

Anonymous said...

A professional nanny knows when to bail out of a bad situation and not subject herself to poor treatment. A professional nanny, indeed a professional person, does not allow themselves to be treated poorly. Under bad work conditions or in the instance that more than their job description is required, they have every right to forego notice.