Concerning or not concerning?

     Every time I talk to my girlfriends, they want to know the latest live-in nanny drama. I hired a live-in nanny because I didn't want to deal with no shows and lateness. That is the reason I sought a live-in. The pay we save having a live-in, is at best $50 a week. (That's a fact so think about that all those people who try to hire nannies and pay in room and board only).
     Out of fairness to the nanny, you probably want to make sure you really want a live-in nanny. I thought she'd go peacefully to her quarters at the end of the day. I made sure she had a nice sized television, direct tv, a DVD player, a radio, a desk, a mini refrigerator, a microwave. She has her own bathroom. Yes, it's all located in the basement, but it's a walkout basement. I don't want to be a thoughtless employer.
Otto Farkas
     Some of the problems that come up, I didn't foresee. The nanny drinks my Shakeology shakes. I don't know why, they aren't part of an eating program. The nanny ordered pay per view movies, (7) in one month before I added a password. She's plugged her toilet twice, once requiring my husband to plunge, once requiring a visit from a rotor rooter esque service. But, all that is a part of a learning curve.
      What concerns me and I don't know how to address is that since she has been here, the nanny hasn't left her room on the weekends that I have seen. I literally haven't seen her outside. Not in our hallway, not using her nanny vehicle to go anywhere. It is possible she sleeps a lot on the weekends. I know Friday is a big grocery trip for her, so I know she has food in her room. I guess what I want to know is do I need to talk to her about this? Reading the other posts, the philosophy seems to be that if she was doing it at her own house and you wouldn't know about it, it isn't your business.
     As a nanny, she does a great job. She doesn't seem depressed, she greets the family with enthusiasm morning and at night. Has anyone else ever had something like happen? If she wants to stay in her room all weekend, it doesn't bother me. Do I address it, like, to make sure she is okay? I'm weary of doing this because I have a friend with a live-in (on the same floor of her house) and she hates her being there any part of the weekend. I can't imagine how awful that feels for the nanny. I want to not make her feel like she needs to do anything different, but it's weird. It's really like we don't have a live-in at all. Weeknights are the same thing, but less noticeable
because she has worked some late nights.


MYOB said...

I don't see this as a problem OR your business. Like you said, if she stayed home all weekend in her own apt, you'd never know. Maybe the nanny is uncomfortable hanging out in your house. Maybe she works a lot, so the weekend is a time to rest. Or even that she has everything she needs in her 'suite' so doesn't venture out. I know I spend at least 30 hrs per week at the park. My charges and I go to museums, zoos, aquariums and other cultural locations 3-4 times per week. That can be both stimulating and exhausting. Some weekends, I do not go anywhere, but I have my own house so my bosses wouldn't know.

Working nanny said...

When you work full time as a nanny you spend all day with other people. Running around outside, doing errands, making sure your
charges are entertained and busy. For people who work in an office the weekend is a time to be active. I think its a really natural reaction for a nanny with time off to want to do absolutely nothing. It takes a lot of energy to keep up with kids and a good nanny will use their time off to sleep and recharge their batteries.

AbsOfSteel said...

Is she new to the area? How long has she been there?When I was a live-in in DC I almost never went anywhere on the weekends because I didn't have anywhere to go. I'm not really a "joiner" and I didn't have any friends, so I just rarely left. And when I wasn't working I didn't want to be around my NF so I could feel like I was actually getting down-time.

After a few months I made some other Nanny friends and went out occasionally, but during that whole job I was at home most of the time on the weekends. Of course I should add that I was never really happy there and only made it a year.

I would be hesitant to say anything to her, because I know if my NF had commented on the fact that I never leave my room, I probably would have felt awkward like then I needed to start going out even though I didn't want to.

this_nick said...

I'm not sure what exactly this post is about. You start off by mentioning that your friends expect your gossip about the nanny, then list a number of things you qualify as "drama" that don't seem especially dramatic -- more like things you are a little annoyed by.

-Did you mark the shakes in some way to indicate they are only for you, or verbally relay the information?

-Did you tell the nanny that any PPV movies she watches must be paid by her?

-Seriously, just get the toilet fixed. If it's plugging that much there's a reason beyond regular use.

If the point of this post is concern for the nanny (however obscured by your annoyance with her), I have an idea: talk to her one-on-one. Mention that she's been with you x amount of time, and you wanted to check in with her see how she's enjoying things, if she's finding enough to do in the area, etc. The more you get to know your nanny, the better you can win her trust and find out if she's feeling lonely/bored/etc.

Alice said...

I agree with this_nick.

The shakeology shakes; they're good protein and maybe she doesn't have time to eat since she's nannying, so it's a nice option for her to get the needed nutrition while spoon-feeding your kids? .. Or something along those lines.

Also the PPV thing; a bit passive-aggressive to add a password and not mention it to the nanny. Probably should've thought of that beforehand, or shown her how to download FREE programs on DirecTv, since she may have come from a Comcast residence in which the programming and how it works is different.

As AbsOfSteel mentioned- if she is new to the area she may not have friends. When I was a live-in I did everything I could to get out of the house as much as possible because (to be honest) I hated the family I worked for (and then they screwed me over on pay, so I was right to dislike them from the getgo). That being said, I would drive 40 miles to get to my friends house just to socialize, but if she came from further away she likely doesn't want to be spending that much gas/wearing the vehicle so much, etc.

Other than those things you mentioned you sound considerate and like you want to make the nanny happy so GOOD FOR YOU.

Nan said...

I've been a nanny and I've been a teenager. Nannies don't risk their job over easily bought alcohol js

RBTC said...

count your blessings! ;) just last week after 5 days with kids outdoors in texas sun i slept 12 hours last monday ( my own house lol-nice!)

she should have asked before drinking a specialty drink - Princess Diana in England got in trouble for that when she was a nanny lol
but- i have had people that loved me with the kids and bought all sorts of goodies i liked

it sounds like you created a nice room for her to relax in - also it sounds like she is protected from work while on her time off and she likes her new work home

if she loves the kids and they love her - that is the main thing - but as always - keep an eye on the situation - keep us posted - you both sound like a good fit even though it always takes a little time

Writing_Nan said...

When I was a live in nanny when the parents were home and on weekends you'd find me in front of the tv just relaxing. I write fan fiction so the tv would be background noise and I write all the time. Maybe she has a hobby she does like writing, maybe she catches up on her shows, maybe a previous family would ask her to watch the kids if she showed her face so she hides in her room.