Thursday

Complaints Against the Nanny 2015, #1

       The following complaints were submitted to the parents by the children and against the nanny. Judge for yourself if they have any merit. The nanny's name in all of the posts has of course been changed to "Nanny".

      "Nanny eats all my food. I am sitting and eating slow. She eats her food. I am still working on mine but if I turn my back, she chomps it down.""  - 6 year old, CT
     
        I asked the kids how they liked our new nanny after her first week.
       "She seems nice, but I'm still not sure if she is", -daughter, age 8
       "Her hands smell like wiener" - son, age 5
   
        This wasn't an actual complaint. My son asked me, "why do Spanish people say Ola when they answer the phone and pinchie cavronna when they hang up the phone". When I sought more clarification, my son said, "everytime she hangs up with you she says, "Ay pinchie cavronna".

         "You don't know what it is like with this new nanny" said my nine year old girl, who I knew missed her old nanny desperately.
          "I don't, tell me" I said.
          "If I want an oreo or something, always with the cut up apples. always. Sure you can have an oreo, but have some apples too. Maybe you could stop buying them?"
           "It's that bad?" I asked. secretly relieved
           "It's enough with the apples. They're in my dreams" - 9 year old

            My son waited until the nanny left one day after Spring Break. As soon as she was out the door, he says, "when the nanny takes us to the movies, who's money is it that she uses".
            I said, "mine, ours,why"?
            He says, "well you're not going to believe how wasteful she is" He stands there bracing me for something shaking his head like he's seen it all now. "What happened?" I asked.
            "What happened? I'll tell you what happened. A bottle of water. Popcorn with no butter. No candy. That's what happened".
            "So she's trying to guide you to make healthier choices, what's wrong with that?" I asked.
            "I'll tell you what's wrong with that. I wouldn't drink the water or eat the popcorn. So. Wasted." he said exasperated with her and now I.

            "Mom, we have a problem." my 11 year old son said last week.
            "Okay, what's going on", I asked.
            "It's about something inappropriate."
             "Well, tell me," I prodded.
             "Nipples."
             "Nipples?" I asked
             "Yes, nipples. every time I try to talk to Nanny, her nipples are just right there. and then she gives me a look like I am being inappropriate. It's like I can't win".
              ???

Have you received a complaint against your nanny? Send it in. (isynblog@gmail.com.)

4 comments:

Gianluca of ISYN said...

))) crickets (((

Alice said...

LOL. These are hilarious.

The pinchie cabron thing.. great, teaching your son to say 'fucking asshole' in spanish.

But most of the others are amusing. Maybe the first kid eats too slow and the nanny assumes they don't want their food so she eats it to not waste it.

But I giggled at most of the other ones. ;) Kids are amusing. The nipples, LOL.

Beth Bartylla said...

These are HILARIOUS!!!! Please more posts like this, there needs to be more light humor on this website.

ToniGurl said...

Lol, at the one with the apples aand popcorn and the last one. Haha, kids are too much!