Wednesday

Job Description Blues

     Having spent the previous two weeks interviewing, I was offered 3/5 jobs I interviewed for. One of the employers had sent me home with a "job description" so that I might "familiarize myself with the specifities of their household." I have included some of the more charming requirement for your perusal and amusement. The total job description is 22 pages long.
     "X, the (breed) sheds a great deal. Please help us out by brushing her daily. Brushing must be done outside do to my allergy to dander. If the weather precludes this, please vacuum her coat in the basement."
     "X, the (breed) is on a special diet. She eats twice per day. Since these feedings fall at 9 and 5, they will fall on your schedule weekdays. At each time, she is to have 1 cup of Blue Buffalo Chicken and Rice Dogfood, 1/2 can of regular green beans, and one sliced turkey hot dog."
     "X is not allowed to eat any processed sugars. This is pertinent and is has a deleterious affect on his mental health. To ensure he cooperates this, please check his backpack when he returns from any outing and his coat pockets. At any time you are in a grocery or store with him, he must remain in your immediate eye sight at all times."
     "We prefer that you keep a pair of house slippers in our home so that you do not at any time wear shoes in the house. If the house slippers are worn outside for any reason, a new pair of house slippers would need to be provided."
     "The mail is delivered to our mailbox at around 2PM each day. Do not collect the mail from the box. This is something I prefer to do. However,  if for any reason, the postal carrier brings the mail to the door or to you, please place it immediately on the highboy in my office."
     "The children should not leave the house for any reason in clothes that have not been properly pressed. The exception to this rule is if the children are specifically going to engage in a sport in which time they should be appropriately attired for that activity......To ensure that the children have a selection of pressed outfits available, please retrieve completed pressed clothing from the laundry room and leave new outfits for X to press. X does not go upstairs, so you must bring the clothing to her. This is your responsibility alone. Each child should have five pressed outfits minimum at the ready."
     "Please do not launder anything. I employ a professional to ensure our clothing is properly processed in adherence with the manufacturer's instructions."
     "Please do not use my office equipment for any purpose. Instruments and machinery therein is specifically calibrated and should not be adjusted for any other purpose. The children know that they are likewise not to enter into or use the office."
     "X is tutored for one hour each on Tuesday and Thursday from 530-630. It is imperative that you check any homework he is unable to complete with the tutor and submit it for him for correction. Please make a final and thoughtful review of his homework. He understands, as I hope you will the need for his written work to accurately reflect his potential."
      "The children are restricted as to the media they may access. The children may not watch any television program that offers up music or music videos, nor may they listen to any radio station, excepting jazz, classical or public radio. If your tastes exists outside these parameters, please utilize ear buds to listen to your music of choice, and then only as it is safe to do so."
      "Please do not use any cleaning products on the marble in the bathroom, kitchen or laundry area. If you need to clean up a spill, please use plain water and a paper towel"
      "You are welcome to any food we have in our home. We respectfully ask that you not deplete any product. Please add items to the grocery list as they run low so that the housekeeper may keep the house properly stocked. Please feel free to add any items for consumption that you might enjoy, excepting pork products, which we do not keep or serve in our home."
      "Please do not adjust the temperature of the house, or the freezers or refrigerator. Please adjust your manner of dress to accommodate the temperature of our home."
      "Please do not provide our address to any friends or family. We do not allow outside guests or visitors to our home. Likewise, the children's play activities should all be scheduled well in advance. Any family of ours coming to visit the children will provide notice to us and I shall alert you in that instance."
      "Please do not take any photographs of our children, pets, or home. Please do not take any photographs of yourself within our home or photograph any objects contained within our home."
     "While in public, please be alert to people around you. Be especially sensitive to anyone who may attempt to videotape or photograph the children."
      "The children's use of public transportation will be limited to NY Taxi cabs and then, only as necessary. Most travel needs will be scheduled in advance with our driver. Your command of their upcoming schedule is imperative to keep things in smooth accordance."
       "Should you have any problems with any part of your job or any question about how to perform a specific task, your contact person is X. You will find X extremely accommodating and eager to assist you to resolve any issues and achieve maximum job satisfaction."

**I won't be taking this job, but for the record, the pay was $1250 per week. I even omitted the breed of dogs to protect their privacy.

Have an  interesting interview experience to share, email isynblog@gmail.com



34 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel most sorry for their kids - imagine what their life must be like!!

mariana said...

This is nothing compared to the job description I had. I had to sign it and initial every page! And yes, I was taken in by the high salary but it was not worth it. They didnt want anyone with any self expression or creative thought, just an obedient robot! I lasted four months and when I quit and gave them three weeks notice to be kind, they came home and had their security guy escort me out of the house after getting my keys and such. So by being nice I lost out on three weeks salary.

Lacy said...

Apparently the family is so wealthy they can't hire one additional person for the dog. Pore Dog... Kids get a nanny and tutor, the House gets a keeper, the Laundry gets its own employee, and the Home as a whole appears to have a manager.... but the Dog.... pore Dog.

Anonymous said...

There are a couple of things that are weird to me - such as their outfits - theyre kids...they get dirty - it appears they have an adversion to dirt in that house. Aside from that.....a lot of it is not absurd or out of the realm of what a good nanny should do anyway. Im sure you arent the first nanny, they obviously have these things come up in the past - the mail, not giving out their address - they have a right to privacy. They dont know you. Things can change over time too once they do get to know you. I think you are overlaughing this situation. I also see nothing wrong with the pet thing either, working with animals, they can have health issues just like the rest of us.

At any rate, please don't accept that job or anything like it, it sounds like you can't respect that some households are a bit different.

-Angi - nanny of over 30 years.

cherri cola said...

Dying here because I think I interviewed with these people. Did you interview with the house manager? I obviously did not get a job descrfiption because they duidnt like my eyebrow piercing. I know because the house manager asked me if I woudl remove it for work!


beenthereanddonethat said...

Is there any love in that house? Sounds like policy and procedure and not much else.

Anonymous said...

Nothing wrong with the description. It's more a tool for you. They are just being proactive with helping you to run their house cohesively. I always welcomed a job description, and what they were asking you to do, is normal. I did all that and more! And for loads less than $1,250/week. Good luck finding that PERFECT job that doesn't exist, or if you are lucky to find someone else that's as generous, you will after a short amount of time find something wrong with it. I truly think you are not looking to do your best in this field, but more, trying to do the least amount of work for the most amount of money. One working in this field needs to be someone that will come in and make their family run like you are running your own family. It's not about the most money, I found, the families sometimes, that paid the least, were the most rewarding!!

Anonymous said...

I would totally have taken that job!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I bet just for $$$$

Anonymous said...

was the pay off the books? How did you get the interview..website or recco?

Anonymous said...

While I do think that some of these points are a little controlling and/or silly, overall I don't find this description to be particularly out of line. I imagine the family had had problems in the past with nannies, hence the very straightforward list you received. I could imagine showing this to your friends and having a laugh, but posting this here (and by extension to Gawker, where I saw it) is a violation of this family's privacy and is just rude. When you pay someone a very reasonable salary for a job, you are allowed to make any stipulations you want.

Anonymous said...

So glad to see so many truly appreciate the nanny biz and all that comes with it - including parents that want a lot of privacy.

melanie in nj said...

It takes a lot of time and thought to create a job description. A job description is designed to help you better serve the family. You sound like an ungrateful, snide shallow girl. How dare you mock this family in a public forum. You could have just had class and not accepted the job and properly disposed of any private materials they shared with you.

Anonymous said...

DUDE, she REDACTED the DOG BREED. Clearly she cares about the families privacy.

julee said...

so the nanny is supposed to keep some portly or hypoglycemic kid from shoplifting twizzlers and tic tavs? Sounds like a helluva lot of stress.

Anonymous said...

I keep picturing Jane Krakowski in "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. :)

But no, the list isn't too unreasonable. What's unreasonable is Gawker calling the list "psycho".

Jake Johnston said...

No, they are arrogant shitheads who need to be taken down a peg or seven.

Jake Johnston said...

These insufferablly arrogant people are HANDING THIS OUT TO PEOPLE. What makes you think it's "private"?

Jake Johnston said...

Not really seeing where your coming from. There would be far more dignity working as a street prostitute.

Anonymous said...

Maximizing the financial return for effort expended is how employment works (from the employee's perspective). Conversely, maximizing productivity for salary paid is how it works from the employer's perspective.

The author assessed the job and determined that, for the amount of work necessary, the salary is too low. She sounds like every potential employee ever.

From the employee's side of things, regardless of the field, it's always about the highest reward for work (generally money, but also could be intangibles like prestige, feeling of accomplishment, etc.).

Let us not forget that she was applying for a job. As in "services performed in exchange for money." If this was a 40/hr per week job, her pay would come out to $30/hr. As it stands, this salaried position pays $62,000. That figure sounds low to me. I would assume that the employers have an accountant, an attorney, a stock broker, and a wealth management specialist. I assume that they pay these people, in total, more than $62,000 per year. Isn't their child worth the same?

Anonymous said...

Are they famous? Why does it mention keeping an eye out for people who would want to photograph the children? It would explain a lot about the clothes and staff and strictness.

Submitted or Job Description said...

I am the OP of this post and I am getting so much backlash I am uncomfortable. Yes, many of the requests in the pages were reasonable, but I didn't enclose those. I also obviously controlled what I shared to make sure I didn't embarrass the family. I didn't share their names or location. This was not submitted to me electronically. I was given a hard copy of this. I shared individual references from within the document. I typed them myself obviously. Someone mentioned I disparaged the potential employers by not spell checking what I copied. Does it really matter? I really think that I should pull this thing down off the internet because people are really mad at me for sharing it. Other people think I should scan the document in its whole share with you. I feel very stressed out now. Help!

Esteban said...

Who cares? You put it in quotes. You hid their identity. They are trying to goad you to share more , like the whole 22 pages on family stationary or something so they can really out the family. Relax. You didn't do anything wrong.

Anonymous said...

U did nothing wrong, u went out of ur way to keep the family's privacy & most people today way overreact to relatively minor things anyway...

Leith said...

April fools?

Anonymous said...

Sick! If AF's, then EVERYONE is sick!

Anonymous said...

Take it down. This family was trying to give you crystal clear instructions on what they need. It's called expectation management.
Have you ever seen a corporate job description? Details and procedures matter. You don't get to wing things, you follow procedures.

If you don't like their procedure policy or you don't think you can meet their expectations, you're not the right person for the job. Move along.

Also, I'm a normal sane woman, but I have specific things I do in my house with my dog and my kitchen, etc. when you have nice things, you have to maintain them, and you put a lot of time and energy into taking care of things.

I wouldn't want my kid out in wrinkly clothes if I had a procedure in place for them to wear wrinkle free clothes. J

This is not your place to pass judgment. Do the job or don't.

Also, 62,000 is a good amount of money. If you don't have a college degree or master's and you haven't worked your way up a corporate ladder or have had to work in office jobs that have equally persnickety "expectations".

ben david said...

Pipe Down you fearmongers. You're a part of the problem. Probably already signed off on implimenting sharia law in your household.

We are not a nation of SHEEPS!

Rachel said...

I am not Jewish. I am not Hindu. I am not Muslim. We do not keep pork in my house because the 65-kDa protein found in pork causes a horrible reaction in both my husband and son.

I hate the politicalism that now surrounds my family, and in reading comments, this family's aversion to pork products.

You people are pissing me off.

GK said...

This reminds me of every job interview I ever had in NY through a certain agency. Everyone was so pretensions. They managed their children like commodities. I wish I would have had some of those things in writing. I was told that other nannies might attempt to befriend me or make playdates with me but that all playdates had to be approved first. How did they approve them? They wanted to know who the kid was, what business the father was in and their address. If a 4 year old boy wanted to play with him just because you know he was fun and stuff, not happening if the kid didn't fit a certain framework. The exception was celebrity sports stars who they had no regard for but loved to be able to say they had been there. The woman of course loved to mock their wives.
I met a mom that was very friendly to me and helped me out by lending me an umbrella one day. The next week she brought me some cookies from a bakery she had mentioned in brief conversation. Turns out her child was on financial aid, so that was a big no. Although I do remember that I was directed to send a gift to the child for the birthday party that my charge wasn't going to.

lost in yonkers said...

I have an allergy to pork products too! It seems to be decreasing as I get older but I surely could not sit in a diner with a gaggle of friends eating eggs sausage and bacon without having an asthma attack. It took years before the dr. was able to pinpoint the allergy.

Ive interviewed with some real locos too, but more so in Westchester. What I found a problem is that people wanted you to assume total responsibility for their children. They seemed to absolve themselves of any responsibility except to set up rules. Kind of like a painting supervisor who stands by your ladder and says, "stroke up, stroke down"

SfNanny said...

I am a high profile professional nanny and what you have posted here is a job description, no more no less. As a professional you have to be able to adjust to each family’s unique believes, philosophies and habits. And to find a great nanny/family match the interview process is crucial. Seems like you guys just didn't fit together and for someone else this might be just a dream job. I have been handed over whole nanny binders to make sure I know what is expected of me and there are no surprises afterwards. This way both parties know exactly the deal and can expect to be working together for years.

OR King said...

There is nothing wrong with you having shared these details. It is noteworthy because it's uncommon, for what many others may treat very simply. You redacted details that would even potentially help to identify them and that is sufficiently respectful. I'd be curious to see the full list because I expect I'd learn something. Best of luck in the role you do choose!

Anonymous said...

Yeah I was going to say they'd have to pay $1000 a week to put up with that crap lol but I HAVE dealt with worse unfortunately.