"X, the (breed) sheds a great deal. Please help us out by brushing her daily. Brushing must be done outside do to my allergy to dander. If the weather precludes this, please vacuum her coat in the basement."
"X, the (breed) is on a special diet. She eats twice per day. Since these feedings fall at 9 and 5, they will fall on your schedule weekdays. At each time, she is to have 1 cup of Blue Buffalo Chicken and Rice Dogfood, 1/2 can of regular green beans, and one sliced turkey hot dog."
"X is not allowed to eat any processed sugars. This is pertinent and is has a deleterious affect on his mental health. To ensure he cooperates this, please check his backpack when he returns from any outing and his coat pockets. At any time you are in a grocery or store with him, he must remain in your immediate eye sight at all times."
"We prefer that you keep a pair of house slippers in our home so that you do not at any time wear shoes in the house. If the house slippers are worn outside for any reason, a new pair of house slippers would need to be provided."
"The mail is delivered to our mailbox at around 2PM each day. Do not collect the mail from the box. This is something I prefer to do. However, if for any reason, the postal carrier brings the mail to the door or to you, please place it immediately on the highboy in my office."
"The children should not leave the house for any reason in clothes that have not been properly pressed. The exception to this rule is if the children are specifically going to engage in a sport in which time they should be appropriately attired for that activity......To ensure that the children have a selection of pressed outfits available, please retrieve completed pressed clothing from the laundry room and leave new outfits for X to press. X does not go upstairs, so you must bring the clothing to her. This is your responsibility alone. Each child should have five pressed outfits minimum at the ready."
"Please do not launder anything. I employ a professional to ensure our clothing is properly processed in adherence with the manufacturer's instructions."
"Please do not use my office equipment for any purpose. Instruments and machinery therein is specifically calibrated and should not be adjusted for any other purpose. The children know that they are likewise not to enter into or use the office."
"X is tutored for one hour each on Tuesday and Thursday from 530-630. It is imperative that you check any homework he is unable to complete with the tutor and submit it for him for correction. Please make a final and thoughtful review of his homework. He understands, as I hope you will the need for his written work to accurately reflect his potential."
"The children are restricted as to the media they may access. The children may not watch any television program that offers up music or music videos, nor may they listen to any radio station, excepting jazz, classical or public radio. If your tastes exists outside these parameters, please utilize ear buds to listen to your music of choice, and then only as it is safe to do so."
"Please do not use any cleaning products on the marble in the bathroom, kitchen or laundry area. If you need to clean up a spill, please use plain water and a paper towel"
"You are welcome to any food we have in our home. We respectfully ask that you not deplete any product. Please add items to the grocery list as they run low so that the housekeeper may keep the house properly stocked. Please feel free to add any items for consumption that you might enjoy, excepting pork products, which we do not keep or serve in our home."
"Please do not adjust the temperature of the house, or the freezers or refrigerator. Please adjust your manner of dress to accommodate the temperature of our home."
"Please do not provide our address to any friends or family. We do not allow outside guests or visitors to our home. Likewise, the children's play activities should all be scheduled well in advance. Any family of ours coming to visit the children will provide notice to us and I shall alert you in that instance."
"Please do not take any photographs of our children, pets, or home. Please do not take any photographs of yourself within our home or photograph any objects contained within our home."
"While in public, please be alert to people around you. Be especially sensitive to anyone who may attempt to videotape or photograph the children."
"The children's use of public transportation will be limited to NY Taxi cabs and then, only as necessary. Most travel needs will be scheduled in advance with our driver. Your command of their upcoming schedule is imperative to keep things in smooth accordance."
"Should you have any problems with any part of your job or any question about how to perform a specific task, your contact person is X. You will find X extremely accommodating and eager to assist you to resolve any issues and achieve maximum job satisfaction."
**I won't be taking this job, but for the record, the pay was $1250 per week. I even omitted the breed of dogs to protect their privacy.
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