Abusive Employers in Briarcliff Manor, NY

I just want to out someone that is making me angry. I have a nanny friend who is a live-in nanny in Briarcliff, NY. The nanny lives in 7 days per week. She works 12 hour days M-F and Saturday night 6pm-12am. As we nannies talk about our jobs, I have learned some very interesting things about her. She is not legal. She is making $450 per week cash, which is on the VERY low side. My problem is, she tells me that she is always hungry. She uses a lot of her money on food. She says they make her feel unwelcome when she isn't working, Sunday and Saturday morning, so she goes out and eats her meals out. She said she took the nanny job to save money to go to college. Here's the kicker, the family working this nanny to death is very well off. And because the nanny, doesn't have enough money to pay her bills, one of which is to send money back home to support her own children (!!), she has been going to a soup kitchen and a food pantry. She says the family keeps track of what she eats, makes sure to never over buy. She says even when she works until 7, the mom tells her, "We don't need you to sit down to eat with the children." like so many times that she says she won't sit with the kids. So she is eating canned beans and soups and oatmeal from a food pantry. WHAT THE WHAT? I have seen her with the kids she takes care of and she is good, so I offered to help her find a job. She won't, she is SCARED TO DEATH of her employers. This poor girl is literally trapped here, treated much like a slave! Any advice? I really want to out the parents by name and address!


Kate Feathers said...

Talk to a women's shelter for advice.

Anonymous said...

I come from immigrant parents and have known many illegal workers in different professions all my life. It's unfortunate that people abuse them and treat them as undeserving, less than, and as objects really. Many of these people do live in fear and because in their country it can be extremely difficult to find work as a single mother she may feel this is better because even though she is unhappy she can provide for her children. It's very sad. I would try to get her in contact with other nannies that are immigrants so she can relate and maybe they can better open her eyes. If you can, maybe offer her food to help her save money so she is more comfortable leaving or can feel more empowered Or a place to stay.

We nannies have to stick together... bosses be abusin! Whether its lack of reinburstment or unpaid overtime or denied access to food it's not cool.

Corina said...

So sad. 😢. I agree with Kate.

Maybe, you can help make a resume for her. Ask her if it's okay if you send them out for her. Maybe thru an agency,etc. Ask the family you work for if they know of any families looking.
Also, if she was sent over from an employment agency she needs to talk to them. In the long run she will have to make the decision to either stay or go.

Danish Nanny said...

Oh my God, this is so awful and sad. She makes less money than me, and I never work more than 40 hrs/wk and never on weekends.
I have no advice except that I agree with what the other posters have said, and I'll be praying for this nanny to find a better position.

Anonymous said...

Maybe she should not tell anyone about her status, tell them it's in the process. Wicked employer, she need to look for a job save at least 250 a week and try, not to live above,her needs They will surely reap, what they sow.

worried nanny said...

Wow, this is horrible. I come from immigrant parents too and know many undocumented persons myself. Like half of family friends and schoolmates didn't have legal status. So I have known of many who stay in their jobs because they are afraid they cant find anything better, or that their employers will "report" them to ICE. I agree with the other commenter who suggested that you offer to help her make a resume, and ask your own employers or nanny friends if they know of anyone looking for a nanny. At this point, I would even offer to be used as a reference for her, because her employers probably won't want to. They are horrible, abusive people! I work 70 hrs as a live in, and get paid about 200 more more than her, after taxes. I also buy my own food, but that's something I agreed to in the beginning cuz they are on a special diet. Anyway, I dont live in a place with a high cost of living like her! please op, dont just tell her to leave, make suggestions, offer to help and give her that push she desperately needs! I dont think outing her employers while she still works for them is a good idea. Please help her, for the sake of her kids! It would be wonderful if you could keep us updated!!

Angi; 30yr nanny said...

While I find the parents despicable....she put herself in that situation and makes the choice to stay. Because shes here illegally she wont help herself. For that, I cant feel for her.

Its nice you want to help, do what you can but remember, she is making her own choice here.

Alice said...

On one hand, I applaud you for being compassionate.

On the other, I don't personally think if she legally isn't supposed to be here, she should be. She has children in another country. Granted the money she sends them is 'bettering' their life. But I'd say even poverty-stricken children benefit from a Mom. So that's a bit of a cop-out, in my opinion.

That being said, she's already here, so the best I can suggest is what others have. Help her with her resume, offer to send it out, DEFINITELY do not admit to being illegal but if asked say the paperwork is pending or something 'professional'.

Hopefully she finds something new and that family can move on to the next victim. Maybe you can like.. turn them in to the IRS or something. No idea. :P