References and the Law

Hi. I am a 25 year old nanny. I have worked with 2 different families. The last family that I worked with fired me after five months. They told me that they were going to have the children go to an after school program and that the father was going to work mornings from the house. I wasn't upset because I didn't feel it was the best match and when I took the job, I was looking for a $15 an hour job and took a $12 an hour job. I have a resume that reflects a very clean time line. I spent three years working in a daycare/chain preschool. I have a good reference from the first family in writing. I then went back to working at a daycare so I could work a 630-2 shift and have my afternoons free for about five months but I didn't like how that was run, so I left. I have been giving out the last family I worked with as a reference because I knew things weren't great but I know I was good to their kids and reliable. I haven't got any of the jobs that I applied for. I haven't even got a call back. Finally, I called one of the jobs I thought I interviewed well for and asked where they were in the selection process. The woman told me that she had gone with another candidate. I wished her luck and said good-bye. But, she clearly had an ice tone with me. I had my friend call my old job to see what they were saying as a reference. The woman spent three solid minutes on the phone saying that .."we never quite clicked"..."i never felt I could trust her"..."she seemed sneaky"...and "I never knew what was true or not".. There was more but that was the line of her talk. No wonder I didn't get the job. Are nanny employers allowed to say all of that, even if it is true? I know companies don't want to be liable so they can only confirm the dates of employment and the reason that a person leaves the company. I don't know why my last employers would say this. It's very mean and dehumanizing and makes me very sad and upset. I think all I can do now is use a fake reference or I am never going to find a job. I took my add off of and Sitter City because I was afraid she would find me an slander me.
-*edited for content, Gianluca


beesknees said...

No offense but you sound kind of sketchy.

Lacy said...

I would call them and ask them about it, politely and professionally. That you thought the arrangement ended on good terms but your hearing otherwise... Ask them for why they feel the way they do about you so that you can use the information to better yourself.

Anonymous said...

Do you think you can get away with wthe hot using them as a reference?

It was only 5 months and if you give the last day care and the first family that you wirked for aso references I think you may be ok.

AM said...

beesknees - how on EARTH did you get that out of her post? SMDH

The reason why business employers tend not to give negative feedback is because it costs a lot of time and money to try to fight an exemployee in court. Its just easier to only give the facts (attendance, hire date, expiration date, etc). With home situations, its a little more lenient. She has a right to express how she felt during your employment there - thats not slander. Slander is when you say something false - such as "she left my child in a mall to go do her nails" when it wasn't true. Another slanderous comment would be something like "she was never nice to my children" - well "never" is hard to prove especially when she wasnt around. But, expressing her feelings is not slanderous.

What you did with your friend is something that you should always do before giving out your references. This time, it was just too late.

I suggest putting your ads back up - you dont have to use your full name, regardless, if she does anything on there against you, you can take her to court to plead the case. The internet is proof of her actions.