Tuesday

Overtime Dilemma...

Hi. I was wondering if you could help me with a situation. I accepted a position in Connecticut in November of last year. I net $990 per week, plus I have many perks including a health club membership, full use of a vehicle and I will have health insurance in April. All of this was agreed to in the beginning. I was also going to work as a live-in nanny, although the family had never had a live-in nanny. While we were working out the kinks of the living situation, largely converting a common area in their finished basement in to what they thought would be a nanny suite, I could tell they were not comfortable relinquishing the space, especially as it leads out to the pool area. The walk out basement has two full bathrooms and a full kitchen which I was told I could use as I wanted because they didn't really use it. This seemed fine on my end. Then, the Mr. of the house asked to speak to me and suggested that he didn't think that as the seasons changed that I would be comfortable with the accommodations because there was a lot of company and traffic. He told me in no certain terms that he was impressed with my performance and wanted to work out something mutually satisfactory. I hope this isn't too long, I am trying to give background for the tone of things, so you can understand my hesitancy. I told him I could check out apartments and found an apartment in Bridgeport that would suit me and rented for $1200 per month for a studio. We exchanged emails over this. He wrote back, "I like that idea, but Bridgeport is too far, can you look at areas closer, maybe even in town?" I did that. I found a handful of places and shared them with him via email with their rental listing. He wrote me back and asked, "Of the two in ---, which do you prefer?". I wrote back and said, "either looks nice to me". (At this point, we haven't discussed anything about the costs.) One of the places was a one bedroom and one of them was a two bedroom small house.  I didn't hear back from him by email that day, but when he came home, he said he had rented the 2 bedroom house with a one year lease and that it was located .9 miles from his house. At this point, I am holding my breath, because I still don't know the financials.  He asked me, and when I say asked me, it is important to convey that he said, "come, have a seat" in a really nice way. He said, "we hired you as a live in, you're from the city. My thinking is that it would be advantageous to you too to have your own place, but I understand that isn't what you signed up for." All nice, right? He then said, "we are going to cover the rent for one year or for as long as you are employed with us, up to a year and then revisit the situation." He then broke it down for me that the rent was $2050 per month, and that nothing was included in that rate, not garbage or water or cable or power or anything. He asked me if I would be willing to take on those expenses myself. Of course, I said yes.  By January, I had moved in to the house. They had offered to get someone to help me, but I did it myself, using their vehicle. His wife gave me the furniture out of the room that was converted to a guest room for me, so I had a television, desk, two sitting chairs and a full sized bed, dresser and nightstand. I was really happy with the arrangement. When I shared the news with my friends and family, they were like, "no way". Some did  the math for me on what I was now "netting" figuring in the housing.  January went fine. I think as a nanny, they are very lucky to have me. When I chose this job, I had my pick of two others. In February, I started to see a problem emerge. My hours were to end at 630 each night, but I never seemed to be done by 630. In fact, as we got further and further in to February, I was working until 8. One day, last week, the mother came home at 7 and told me she had plans to run out for dinner and thanked me for getting the kids in bed. She assured me "Mr." would be home by 8. "Mr." came home at 930. I was sitting in the living room reading a magazine. He said he was surprised I was still here. So here is my problem. Yesterday, Mrs. came home and (very pleasantly said) "I'm home, but not really, we have a mess going on, I need to go up to my office, are you good?" I said "sure". She came down at 730. She looked exhausted. She thanked me and said good night. So, no one has been unkind or rude to me, but I find myself in a position where I am now working atleast 10 hours extra per week. There has been no reference to overtime by them and I would feel uncomfortable mentioning it. I haven't been able to make plans during the week at all. My feelings on this is that I should suck it up because I do have a sweet gig with great money and my weekends are still free and clear. My only hesitation is the lack of conversation about the change. Would they conceivably ask me for weekends too? Am I in a position to limit set? I can think of a handful of nannies who would snatch this job up from me as is, even if the hours were until 8PM every night.  I just want to mention that there are three children and two of them are under 4, so the days are very busy and exhausting. I am interested in what employers and employees think of the set up?
Have a job dilemma of your own? Email isynblog@gmail.com.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

We have a nanny, and I think it sounds like your situation is mutually beneficial in a lot of ways. They cover your rent and pay you generously, and you sometimes work a few extra hours. I wouldn't mention it, but maybe you can mention in the morning on a certain day that you are meeting someone right after work at 7, or whatever time. See how that goes. It sounds like you all like one another and it's working quite well, so I wouldn't focus on the few extra hours.

Naomi said...

Is there a chance that the father didn't involve the mother in the plans and she thought it was too generous? I am just playing devil's advocate. Also have you considered that she is going through a legitimate work crisis at this time? I wouldn't say anything either. I make $800 as a live out and work 7-7 Sun-Thurs. I hope that makes you feel better!

merlea summers said...

It sounds good but expect further problems. My bf's new employers leased her a brand new convertible the only time she ever drove it was with her charge in the backseat. They told her she could have the car after a year but she only lasted six months. She was a live in and they had her with that kid 24/7 & a baby monitor all night. The kid was three.

Anonymous said...

I tend to disagree. Yeah, on one hand it's awesome that they are covering your rent, but at the same time you agreed to the job as a live-in, so "rent" was to be included regardless and it was their decision to find you a place, so yes it's nice but housing was on them anyway so I don't see that as an extra perk above what you agreed to when you took the job. You also now have to cover some of the living expenses yourself, which I am assuming you weren't going to have to cover living in their house, plus you'll probably need to buy additional furniture above what they gave you.
As for the hours - personally, I would say something. I am non-confrontational as well, but I was in a similar situation once. I took a salaried nanny job with a set amount of hours, but the hours kept getting longer and so did my list of duties. I was hired to simply care for their baby, but as time went on they wanted me to do laundry, cook, clean the house etc with no extra pay. We started off much like you where we got along great, but the longer it kept happening I felt so unappreciated, WAY under-compensated and it ended up ending on a sour note. I think if you keep letting a few hours go here and there they will see that they can "get away" with doing that and keep pushing it to more and more hours. I would say something just as someone else commented like, "I have to meet someone tonight at 7, so I need to leave by 6:30." That way it's not coming off as rude but just letting them know you have a life outside of work. Or even maybe say something like "I'm starting a nightly gym class that starts at 7," that way you don't have to come up with an excuse every day. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you will have nanny burnout. I wouldn't feel guilty about the housing situation. You were willing to live in the basement which wouldn't cost extra. You didn't pick the two bedroom apartment. They should have backup childcare for you. They must realize how exhausting it can be. Do they have family in the area?

On a side note since its a two bedroom. If possible did you consider getting a roommate? You would basically have no expenses. If okay with family since they are paying bill. Who knows maybe another childcare provider. Maybe they could help out in evenings. When family is running late.