Hi nannies and employers. I took a live in job for one reason and that was to get my financials tightened up. I interviewed with several families. I was offered one of the jobs I was interested in. I have only been here 12 days as of Tuesday and there are problems. I have taken pictures of the notes she has left me regarding food. I don't know what I am supposed to eat once these options are out, Captain Crunch and pasteurized processed cheese food? My first weekend I was getting settled and in and out. Last weekend, I had no specific plans but every time I ran into my "Mrs" she said, "oh you scared me, I thought you'd be out" and "are you on your way out" and things along that line. So I don't feel welcome on the weekends. I feel very welcome during the week when I am working twelve hour days. When a live-in nanny is hired and told she gets room and board, is there a ball park dollar figure involved? I would like to say something like, "I don't want to eat your special food, maybe I could have a shelf and you could just delegate an amount for me to spend to keep food on hand for my use?" I really think she would be angry if I said that. What do you think? Is this a situation that can be saved?
9 comments:
Anonymous
said...
That's really passive aggressive of her. Do you have a Contract? Does your contract say room and bored, are you getting a weekly stipend too?
Due to everyone having a "special" diet, I find jobs that say food included is a joke. If your a live in they should allow you to help yourself to what ever, with a few no-no's. If its a problem for them to share, asking for a shelf in the fridge wont be much help (veggies need to be in the crisper--not the top shelf). Suggest you add some of your staples to the shopping list, so they don't have to worry. Or suggest a mini fridge in your room, and an extra weekly grocery budget-- as they job includes bored.
If your a live in, you should feel welcome being at "home". If they hate having you around, they should put you up in a nice hotel that your comfortable with.
The only thing I can even fathom is she doesn't know what "board" means! If she does, and meant to include it in your compensation package, then it is absolutely absurd of her to give you no direction with respect to what food you can eat, and to write passive aggressive notes after the fact about food you cannot eat. Also, what a creep.
I am an employer with a live-in nanny. When our children were smaller, the nanny would cook and eat dinner with them. Now that they are older, the nanny handles her meals on her own time. If the employer is controlling about money, I would say add what you want to the shopping list. You should definitely be able to add breakfast foods, reasonable lunch foods and gasp even dinner foods, including proteins. I don't enjoy shopping. I used to do the shopping myself because I was particular about what I ate, so I would give the nanny $100 to do her own shopping per week. She was a seven day live-in. This didn't mean she couldn't use our bread or cereal. My nanny now handles all of the shopping and food is never a problem for any of us. She gets my my favorites and hides them for me.
It's pathetic that someone would try to exert such control over someone who is helping you raise your children!
Get out now. If she's being this controlling and passive aggressive now, after only 12 days, it'll get worse. How ridiculous. It's food, and they can afford a live-in but now Greek yogurt to supplement the two of you? Honestly? Get real, she's a joke. I'd pack up and leave.
This woman is crazy. Why can't she just buy extra cookies? Extra yogurt? They aren't that expensive. What a weirdo. If you do the shopping, just add your own stuff to the list. If she has a problem with that, too, then you're better off quitting. A live-in nanny should not be treated like this.
How incredibly petty of her. "Yogurt is expensive." LOL...please. Leave immediately. There are many caring and lovely families who would not behave in this manner.
I'm so glad that I found this site. I'm a new employer. My nanny is live in, but she has her own apartment in our detached carriage house.
Her compensation includes Room but not board. When she arrives to take care of Baby she brings her own lunch and snacks, but she also has snacked a bit here and there and uses milk for her coffee, etc.
At first she would tell me she had eaten a bagel, or whatever. I recently told her no need to keep me informed as to a snack here or there. I hope I did the right thing, I want her to mostly eat her own food but if she has a snack or drink now and again from our food I don't care.
9 comments:
That's really passive aggressive of her. Do you have a Contract? Does your contract say room and bored, are you getting a weekly stipend too?
Due to everyone having a "special" diet, I find jobs that say food included is a joke. If your a live in they should allow you to help yourself to what ever, with a few no-no's. If its a problem for them to share, asking for a shelf in the fridge wont be much help (veggies need to be in the crisper--not the top shelf). Suggest you add some of your staples to the shopping list, so they don't have to worry. Or suggest a mini fridge in your room, and an extra weekly grocery budget-- as they job includes bored.
If your a live in, you should feel welcome being at "home". If they hate having you around, they should put you up in a nice hotel that your comfortable with.
They want the convenience of a live-in without the expense and expected inconvenience. I don't think you can make this work.
Did you organize the closet?
The only thing I can even fathom is she doesn't know what "board" means! If she does, and meant to include it in your compensation package, then it is absolutely absurd of her to give you no direction with respect to what food you can eat, and to write passive aggressive notes after the fact about food you cannot eat. Also, what a creep.
I am an employer with a live-in nanny. When our children were smaller, the nanny would cook and eat dinner with them. Now that they are older, the nanny handles her meals on her own time. If the employer is controlling about money, I would say add what you want to the shopping list. You should definitely be able to add breakfast foods, reasonable lunch foods and gasp even dinner foods, including proteins. I don't enjoy shopping. I used to do the shopping myself because I was particular about what I ate, so I would give the nanny $100 to do her own shopping per week. She was a seven day live-in. This didn't mean she couldn't use our bread or cereal. My nanny now handles all of the shopping and food is never a problem for any of us. She gets my my favorites and hides them for me.
It's pathetic that someone would try to exert such control over someone who is helping you raise your children!
Get out now. If she's being this controlling and passive aggressive now, after only 12 days, it'll get worse. How ridiculous. It's food, and they can afford a live-in but now Greek yogurt to supplement the two of you? Honestly? Get real, she's a joke. I'd pack up and leave.
This woman is crazy. Why can't she just buy extra cookies? Extra yogurt? They aren't that expensive. What a weirdo. If you do the shopping, just add your own stuff to the list. If she has a problem with that, too, then you're better off quitting. A live-in nanny should not be treated like this.
How incredibly petty of her. "Yogurt is expensive." LOL...please. Leave immediately. There are many caring and lovely families who would not behave in this manner.
You ate $2.93 worth of cashews that I was going to use to solve racism. Thanks!!! :)
I'm so glad that I found this site. I'm a new employer. My nanny is live in, but she has her own apartment in our detached carriage house.
Her compensation includes Room but not board. When she arrives to take care of Baby she brings her own lunch and snacks, but she also has snacked a bit here and there and uses milk for her coffee, etc.
At first she would tell me she had eaten a bagel, or whatever. I recently told her no need to keep me informed as to a snack here or there. I hope I did the right thing, I want her to mostly eat her own food but if she has a snack or drink now and again from our food I don't care.
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