I want OUT - Quitting Advice?
I've been working for only 6 mo with a Los Angeles family. I was hired off the books as a nanny / personal assistant. When I took the job it seemed pretty straight forward, personal assistant tasks for MB during the morning while kiddos are at school and then picking kids up from school and doing after school activities with them until DB comes home from work. The more I work there the more I realize it's not a good fit.
Over time, the job has turned into less nanny work and more personal assistant work. She often encourages me to put the kiddos in front of the TV so I can continue making phone calls and sending emails (I feel so guilty every time.)
I recently got another part time job (10 - 20 hr/week) as a sitter for toddler twins and an occasional position as a weekend babysitter for a family with a four year old boy. The more I work with the other families, the more I realize how unhappy I am in this position (Not that I really needed the wake up call. Sometimes, before I do school pick ups, I stop in the bathroom to clean up so the kids don't know I've been crying.)
Despite having multiple conversations with MB about how I need to have the amount of hours I signed up for she frequently gives me unpaid "time off" with less than 24 hours notice. Not to mention the job creep is incredible (I once had to carry a couch up and down the stairs of their two story home three times.) MB frequently doesn't pay me for the time I work by rounding down to the hour, yells at me when she's in a foul mood, doesn't let me eat in the house or take a lunch break, makes me work from home without paying me, frequently schedules playdates with other children and just expects me to watch everyone while she chats with her friends, keeps me as long as she needs to in the evening (meaning I usually drive like a crazy person to my next job), and "lets" me go early without paying me for scheduled time. Not to mention one of her male family members is constantly hitting on me.
I also worked Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year but was unceremoniously given federal holidays off without pay at the last minute because she didn't "need" me. I'm also not sure her kids and I click. While they can be really great, they think of me as just another indentured serf in their home (probably because I'm frequently putting them in front of the TV ugh) and are often rude and demeaning (they're 3 and 5). I leave her house feeling exhausted and unhappy, whereas I leave the other families feeling pretty pleased with myself.
I don't want to talk to her (conversations have proved fruitless) - I want to QUIT.
The problem is that I'm absolutely terrified of giving her notice. I know there's no way she'll give me a reference of any sort, regardless of whether she thinks I'm leaving or not. Also I'm only 24 and I feel like nanny jobs (or even personal assistant jobs) in LA are incredibly competitive and few families want such a young nanny. It took me almost three months to find this position. I also get paid good money - $15/hr (although for the amount of work I do for her, I should probably get more). I'm also concerned I won't find another position, because while I have a car, it's not child safe (I drive a truck) and this position comes with the use of a kid safe car.
I feel like I have some weird stockholm syndrome. I'm so scared of quitting because I know she'll throw a fit (this woman is TERRIFYING). But most importantly, I don't want to have a 6 month gaping hole in my resume and it seems like a cop-out to just tell future families that this position "didn't work out," because that sounds like I got fired. It also feels weird to look for a new position while I have this one. What do I tell other families? "Yeah, so, I haven't told my boss I'm trying to leave, so please don't contact her - but I promise I'm trust worthy!" Does quitting now making me unhireable? Should I just suck it up and keep fantasizing about the day when the twins' 20-something nanny leaves for an office job?
Any advice would be incredibly appreciated.