I was hoping that some of your readers could help me out with a dilema i have right now with a family that I babysit/tutor for who has an autistic child.
I was referred to this position by the mother of a friend who happens to be the piano teacher for one of the kids. She told me that there was a family looking for an after school babysitter/tutor for their two children, both girls ages 7 and 10. When I went to interview with the mother I was told that the older girl was "mildy autistic" and was shy around strangers but would eventually warm up. Because I was told that I did not press when I only got a glimpse of the older child assuming that she would warm up to me once I had time to get to know her.
Once I began this position, which is 15 hours a week, that the mother had clearly been lying/not upfront to me. The older child was not, as she put it "mildy autistic" but on the more sever end of the spectrum. She is 10 and in a special needs program at school learning on a 3rd grade level. She also has an awful atitude at home, which I'm pretty sure can be attributed to the fact that her mother works long hours owning a salon/spa in NYC and most of the time she is at home with her grandmother, who finds it easier to give her what she wants when she throws a fit rather then deal with her. As a result of that the older child throws a fit whenever she does not get whatever she wants/when I am trying to do homework with her. She is also verbally and physically abusive to her younger sister (7) and me saying things such as "I'm going to get someone to kill you"(said to me) "I'm going to sell you and send you away for ever"(said to her sister). She also has no issues with hitting and smacking various members of her family. The mother just seems to gloss over the older child's behavior with a "i cant do anything about it anyway" attitude.
My issue is I would have quit this job a long time ago if I had not bonded with the younger child who is really sweet. It is clear that the environment at home take a huge toll on her and I do not want to leave her there with no outside support. What should I do? If I quit I'm sure that I will forever feel awful because I did not do everything in my power to help the younger child but at the same time it is very grating on me to be working with a child that has had no discipline and is on the sever side of the autistic spectrum for minimal pay.