The Wicked MB

Hello, this is my first time posting here. I am a 25 year old female. I have my full ECE (early childhood education) diploma, and I am registered with the college of ECE's. All of these are desirable assets in this field.

I had been working for a family for 2 years. They have 3 children: a 4 year old girl and twin 3 year old boys. All three of the children have severe speech delays and the twins have possible autism (not that mom will look into it). The family had been treating me horribly for a while now. They talk down to me all the time and about my profession in general, calling us babysitters, or helpers, saying not to leave the 4 year old with the ECE in her class alone. They also expected me to drive the boys 4 times a week for free. And refused to buy the boys the things they needed, I had to buy them winter hats this year because mom refused. They spoil the 4 year old girl and leave the poor boys without.

For example, the 4 year old got spoiled rotten at her birthday with all kinds of toys, games, and clothes, and the boys got nothing for their birthday. I had to make them their birthday cake. The mom has taken the 4 year old to build a bear *11* times, and the boys have never gone. She went and got the 4 year old brand new winter boots, mitts and hat, and said the boys could use their old (too small) boots from last year and could go without hats until Christmas. (We live in Canada, it's already -10 some days) she also ignores any advice or comments I make regarding her children. She refuses to get the boys help for their speech issues and they can say less then 10 words consistently. The 4 year old has lots of speech but even mom can't understand her. So mom went and paid for private speech for the four year old because the "real" teacher said so, but completely ignores my concerns about the boys:(

On top of all this, for the first year I worked there they paid me only minimum wage, and after I quit for about a month they offered me .50 more. (The only reason I said yes is because the daycare job I had was even worse!) so I went back and all of these things started happening. I recently asked for a 1.00 raise since it had been a year since I came back. They deliberated for over a month and then came back saying they would give it to me but would have to fire the maid (trying to make me feel bad) and so I would have to do her jobs, too. That was my last straw, and I did the wrong thing, I quit without notice. I feel bad, but she refused to give me a reference anyways, even for volunteer work. So now I'm worried I won't be able to get another job.... - Anonymous


BrooklynMomma said...

You did the right thing by quitting. I don't understand how someone can treat their child's caregiver so badly. I'm sorry this happened OP and I wish you luck getting a new job.

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

OP ~

Do not feel bad for quitting w/out notice! I know many nannies on this blog view it as unprofessional, however I have quit w/out notice many times due to being treated like dirt from certain families.
The way I see it, if a family treats their nanny like crud, then they have no one to blame but themselves should the nanny go MIA. Respect is always a 2-way street. Remember that. ☺

I just hope you collected whatever monies you were owed prior to walking out.

Anyway, when interviewing w/new prospective families, you can mention that you were working for a prior family for a few years, but unfortunately for you, things did not end well. Stress that you tried your best in vain to make everything work, but that in the end there was no chance that it could. Do NOT speak negatively about your former family and do NOT mention that you walked out w/out notice.
Keep things diplomatic w/an "It is what it is..." type attitude about it.

Do not use this family as a reference. That would be a bad idea.

Good luck to you in your future endeavors and I am so sorry this happened to you.

You did the right thing here.
No one has the right to be treated like this family treated you.

They are not good people...especially the favoritism that they are displaying toward their daughter.


Megan said...

I understand why you might feel bad in this situation, as I would probably feel the same way. However, if she already made it clear you could not use her as a reference, and you were treated this poorly, I don't blame you a bit for leaving. With your qualifications, you should be able to find a nice family to work for.

ericsmom said...


I am glad you left. Agree with Amy why stick around for abuse

Nrrdgrrl said...

OP here, thanks for your support:) I did get my monies owed. I also may have found a temp nanny job already!

Ann O'Neemus said...

Hi Nanny Nrrdgrrl,

I'm sure you feel horrible about leaving the children. It is clear that you care very much for them and have tried hard to advocate for them and give them what they need. They have been fortunate to have you in their corner.

In the end it is the parents choice how to rear their children (though, sadly, it doesn't sound as though they are doing a good job)

Don't feel bad about standing up for yourself when they tried to jerk you around.

Are the 3-year-olds in preschool? If they are, have you discussed these issues with their teacher or preschool director? You could still call and voice your concerns.

If it is your opinion that the parents are neglecting their boys, you should make a report to CPS.

I agree with Amy Darling about what to say to prospective employers about the lack of a reference for this job.

Good luck with the job search.

ericsmom said...

Sometimes, those temporary positions are better. It never gets dull. Even the pay may be a little better. Plus, you never know sometimes if you click those positions can turn into a regular gig

Zarine said...

I don't blame you OP.

Feel bad for those poor kids.

FashionMama said...

When parents refuse to buy winter outerwear for their children, I feel you should call protective services. The boys are neglected. They also need medical assistance to check for austim. You can't work for a evil family.they will blame you for their dirty work.thank you from
The new nanny