Confirmation may Lead to Confrontation
Hello moms and fellow nannies! I hope all is well. I would like some advice on a decision that I pretty much just made about 3 hours ago. Background: Until September 2012 I was working with a family that I had been with since February 2012. The mom decided to stay home sometime in August and I didn't find out about it until September. I got one weeks notice and two weeks severance. Was I sad? Not really. They were very awkward, condescending, slow to thank me, even when I went above and beyond what was agreed to in the initial interview. They were however, quick to pick at me for anything that they saw as a problem. They would comment on how I didn't do the laundry even when the baby had been needy/fussy all day. How I cut "R's" nails too short even when the mom approved of them the day before. They would drop hints about how babies in his library group could point to colors or shapes - the other kids were 14 months to 2 years old and their baby was just 9 months old at the time.
I was very limited in the activities I could do with him and was never allowed to take him anywhere. There were days after books, bubbles, crafts, walking outside, playing with gooey stuff in his highchair, that he was literally, no lie, bored to tears. I was beginning to crack... In July some family friends, whom have both known me since I was a teenager, had a baby. I immediately accepted when they asked me to be their nanny. The mom was going back to school and the dad is a teacher. After the baby came they told me what they had in mind for me to do, discussed pay/hours, and start date, which is January 2nd. Everything seemed great. I was going to let the family I was currently working for know that I was leaving in mid November which would have been this month. I was pushing for January until I was let go in September. I "care.com'd" for 2 weeks with no success... so many low ballers. I was referred to a ton of people but they only needed a day or two a week for 4-5 hours.
*Deep breath* On to the current issue: The family friends that I was going to be starting with in January referred me to a family they knew of with a 4 month old boy, J. The mom had worked with my mother at a high school and without an interview I was hired for the temporary position. Unexpectedly, J and I have the greatest time together. I unloaded everything I have always wanted to do with R onto J and it's just as fun as I imagined. We go to parks, story time at the library, we are starting a baby gym next week, and we go to the store. I try to take him to at least 2 places every day even if it's to a Sam's Club to see the Christmas lights and sparkly ornaments. He smiles a huge smile and pretty much jumps out of his mom's arms when I arrive. I have become very attached to him and everyday that I care for him it's getting more and more difficult to see myself leaving him in December. The mom hasn't been pressuring me to stay with them. She understands this was supposed to only be a temporary thing but I made the decision today to stay with J and not work for the other family in January.
I see nothing but benefits when I really compare the two families. I LOVE J's mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, aunt, everyone is just wonderful. J is also a rather particular baby. He has severe acid reflux, the kind that he may not grow out of. He has to be held this way, put down this other way, you have to feed him like this, burp him this way, give him this amount of medicine twice daily... I learned all that in 3 days before the mom went out of town. It would be really hard for him and his family to get a new nanny and it would just be a very hard transition for him and frankly I really don't want anyone else caring for him but me. The other family is very out in the boonies and away from any sort of civilization. There are no parks, baby classes, or libraries. I would pretty much be reduced to the same situation as before, only without all the bitching from the parents. (Pardon my french but that's really all it was). I would almost rather have the nit picking if I could at least take the child places but that's not the situation dealing at hand.
I have to talk to the previous family this week since I have made and confirmed my decision. I just don't know what to say or how to form the conversation. I kind of have an idea of what I would need to say but they may try to offer me more an hour than the other family, or guilt trip me. I am pretty much giving them two months notice but I know they will find someone soon. They have access to a bunch of nannies since the mom is a member of a mom group on FB for our area and she used to be a nanny as well so she knows the circuit pretty well. I have made my decision and am sticking with it and am very happy when I think about it but I know this is my situation so I don't expect a beginning to end script... but ideas, experiences, opinions and helpful or encouraging thoughts would be greatly appreciated! Looking forward to hearing from all of you moms and my fellow nannies! PS: Sorry that this is so long. I do frequent the site often so if you have any questions I'll be sure to answer quickly as I need the pointers! Thanks! - Anonymous
at 6:28 AM