Live-in Dating

Hello, I thought it would be fun to talk about dating while being a live-in nanny. Do your bosses know you're dating? Did they set up rules? Fill me in! - nannyA


katydid said...

The only rule I had a a live in requested by my bosses or put in place myself was not to have sleepovers with my boyfriend.

Lyn said...

Oh my goodness, this has definite room for embarrassing stories. :)

OP said...

I was extremely close with the last family I worked with. We were very open with each other and they were very comfortable with me dating. They even let me have guys sleep over. I know that is not the norm. They just trusted me a lot.

My current family is also pretty great. They are aware that I am dating. They haven't brought up any rules but I won't be bring anyone home. I have been causally seeing someone and if things continue to go well then maybe I will invite him over for dinner but nothing more.

ericsmom said...

Do you mean you guys all have dinner together? I don't know, I know you live there. Still can you have dinner at the their house??

ericsmom said...

I don't know. Do you really want your boss to know everytime you got lucky

NannyPants said...

My bosses are cool with me dating. We have never actually discussed 'rules' but I think it's because they know I would never do anything to break their trust. When I have wanted to have boyfriends over, I talk to them about it and make sure it's okay...they've always been fine with it. They trust my judgment and I'm pretty much a homebody so they know I'm not going out partying and bringing home random guys. As for staying the night, they are fine with that too but obviously I would make sure they've already met/gotten to know my boyfriend a bit before they have some guy staying at their house. I also don't make it a habit. In my year and a half of living here my (now ex) boyfriend only stayed over twice. I have my own entrance to my part of the house, too so he could come and go without bothering anyone else.

Wren said...

They never really set rules....My Fiance has stayed the night before but in another room (we are old fashion) Obviously its no secret I am seeing someone, he's a huge part of my life and I am very close to my host family. They have even had him over for a game night, and we've all gone out to dinner a few times.

Nanny of One said...

This is an interesting topic :)

The reason I first became a live-in nanny was because I was dating someone for three months who lived in another city and we wanted to be closer together but were not ready to live together.

An idea popped into my head to become a live-in nanny in his city, at this time I was 22 and he was 28. The host family never laid out any conditions for what I could or couldn't do. I was honestly under the impression that if you were a live-in nanny what you did on your own spare time and with who is your own business.

Well little did I know, that there would be rules and restrictions. The end result was that my host family told me that I would have the entire downstairs to myself with a television, internet access and no interference from the children.

What occurred instead was, I stayed in a very small room, with no dressers etc (live out of my suitcase), and this room was connected to the children's area and computer area.

So I had zero privacy.

I would have my boyfriend over, and we even had sexual encounters while I lived/worked there. The family got to know him pretty well etc, however, when they got more comfortable with me they told me that if he was to sleep over, we would have to sleep on the couches downstairs and not in my bedroom.

Needless to say, after working/living there for six months, I ended up crashing their car and as a result quit working for them. My boyfriend moved my stuff out so that we would have no interaction. During this period them made some comment, we tidings appreciate your boyfriend sleeping over.

Meanwhile, the DB would sit and chat only in sex rooms to other women on web-cam on a regular basis without the MB knowing. But hey, who am I to judge inappropriate sexual encounters.

Now five years later, my boyfriend and I are still together, and my current family invites him on vacations in which we share a room etc.

I really think that live-in dating rules are highly based on the relationship that you have with the employers as well as how you have sleep overs etc, while being tactful about it.

anon poster said...

Was never a problem for me.