Tuesday

Bonding with Busy Bees

OPINION
Hi! I just took a job as a nanny to three great kids. The two oldest are 9 and 11. All three are VERY busy and I'm about to be thrown into their hectic schedule without much time to really bond with them. I was curious about those who have worked a lot with older kids and could help me out. The younger one I've already gotten to know since she's a bit more open and excited to meet a new person. I just was wondering if anyone had some creative ideas or tips for me on my first couple days! I'm a pretty silly person and try to be like that with kids so they'll open up. Any advice would be great! Thanks! - Anonymous

9 comments:

ericsmom said...

I would just go with the flow. Well don't push yourself on them too much. They are older now they have their routine. Just be observant of what they like to do and not. Maybe, you can find something they really enjoy and do that on a slow day. Example: playing a video game, listening to certain music, outdoor activity.

Nashville Nanny said...

I nanny for teens (16 and 17), and found that letting them lead was the best way to form a relationship. I asked about their hobbies and interests, and was lucky to find some in common (shopping and guns LOL). I will echo Ericsmom and say don't push yourself on them, it only weirds them out. Good luck!

Caring Mom All Day said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Manhattan Nanny said...

At that age I encourage independence and try not to hover. They don't want to be treated like little kids. Show an interest in what they are interested in. I am currently faking a passion for football, sigh.

Astral Plane said...

I would find out what kind of things they like to do and let them show you. Don't try to get to know them too fast is my advice. Older kids tend to value having their own space and like to take getting to know new people slowly in my experience.

Sarah NY said...

Agreed with some of the above posters.. When I started with 2 pre teen boys I let them come to me if they wanted to do something, one loved legos and we bonded over that. He actually became more focused and driven because I gave him one on one attention that his mom never had time for. And the littler one just wanted to run around like a maniac so thats what we did outside. But when they need alone time give it to them, I always brought a book for when they wanted to do their own thing so they didn't think I was hovering!

Calanna said...

What's worked for me in the past is getting one of those sets of cards that ask thought-provoking questions as an ice-breaker. Get a mixture of some that are serious and some that are kind of silly, see which ones they respond to best. These can lead to awesome conversations while driving them back and forth to their activities and lets everyone get to know everyone else in a fun way, while providing insight into each kid's individual personality.

Melanie Raye Castor said...

I currently nanny for a 13yo boy, 11yo girl, and an 8yo boy. They are also very very busy!
I make the most of car trips to ask how their day has gone, what they are reading at the moment, what they did on the weekend, etc.
I would recommend that you just be friendly with them. They may be quiet for the first few days, but as long as you are consistently nice and kind, they will quickly warm up to you.
Good luck OP! I know you will do great! I'd love for you to come back after you've had a few days on the job and let us know how it's going!

Lyn said...

I'm curious about whether they are male or female kids? In my experience girls of any age are more likely to be open and bond quickly to the Nanny. Boys seem to take a little bit more effort.