Thursday

Potty Mishap Draws Sympathy, Unlike Utah Mom Incident

IN THE NEWS
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Philadelphia Mom Ticketed By Police After 2-Year-Old Son Pees On Sidewalk - A Philadelphia mother is outraged over receiving a $50 ticket and a parenting lecture by a police officer after her 2-year-old son peed on the sidewalk. Caroline Robboy was out with her family on Sunday when her kids, ages 9 and 2, had to use the bathroom. After being refused restroom access at a clothing store, 2-year-old Nathaniel, who is still being potty trained, couldn't hold it any longer. The boy took relief into his own hands and peed on a nearby lamp post. NBC Philadelphia reports that Robboy tried to "redirect" her son to a grassy patch, but a police officer wrote her a ticket for public urination. Robboy said that the officer then gave her a lecture on parenting, telling her that the ticket was "for her own protection" in case there was "a pervert watching [her] son." Robboy maintains the situation was an accident, although the ticket does not acknowledge it. She plans to fight the fine.

This isn't the only potty training mishap to make national news recently. Last week, a Utah Mother drew criticism for allowing her children to use their portable potty in the middle of a restaurant dining room. But unlike that incident, this accident has been received with considerable sympathy. As news of the story spread, other parents shared in Robboy's outrage. "I wouldn't encourage my son to [pee in public] except in an emergency, but there were plenty of times that we had no other choice than to go in a corner of a parking garage or at a park," CafeMom blogger Julie Ryan Evans wrote. "It happens."

39 comments:

Cucumber said...

She desevres the ticket, but she'll probably get off in the culture of complain to the media and the rules get changed.

Should have had the kid in a pull up.

It's not the stores fault.

The officer was right.

Future nurse :) said...

You cant only blame her! My previous family and I went to a professional conference in boston and one of the other professionals (i don't want to get too specific) little 2 year old boy pulled his pants down and started to pee in the middle of the conference. She was mortified and obviously stopped him, but kids are unpredictable!

Poorly Planned said...

Blaming the kids would be ureasonable he is 2 years old.

The store is not obligated to cater to unprepared parents.

Mom probaly should have had him try toileting long before they asked to go at the store.

There is also the option of a Pull UP for those that haven't attained the level oth physically and socially to hold it until they can releave themselves in an appropriate place.

Also I find it interesting that most of these pee in public stories are about boys and everyone just shrugs it off

And before anyone pulls the just wait until your a parent card. I am a parent with two boys and 1 girl.

EastBayNanny said...

This is very interesting! Great post considering previous discussion. I do NOT agree with the police ticketing a child. yes, the ticket went to mom, but it was done in front of this little boy for his 2 year-old behavior/ guidance from mom. And now he's literally holding a ticket (bad decision there). A lamp post? Where and when? It's impossible to really understand the full extent of the scenario without having a sense of the specific environment. Accidents and emergencies happen. Moms make choices. PAID PROFESSIONALS are risking much more with these decision. It's not the same. I would have rather had him pee his pants. Will there be a ticket for a pee accident that leaks onto the sidewalk? I highly doubt it! Anyhoo, this ticket does more harm than good- by far!

JustSayNoToPullUps said...

The cop is a jerk. He is only a toddler. Its tasteless to let your child pee in public, BUT I've btdt. With little boys its just sooo much easier to let them go where you are. Especially when you have a child that literally has to pee every fifteen-thirty minutes.

For those of you suggesting pull-ups, I know they can work for some children. But for many parents, they are just a gimic & totally innefective. They feel just like a diaper & some children will not get anything out of wearing them. Personally, I've found pull ups to greatly extend the time that it takes to potty train a child. I think any place that welcomes customers & will take their money should provide a restroom.

NancyG said...

That's reminds me, future nurse....about a month ago my son & I were leaving the mall & he pulled down his pants to pee, right in front of everyone. This is after we had taken him to pee twice while we were @ the mall. To assume its poor planning is ignorant. Because there is just no way you can know that. I can take my son to the. Restroom & fifteen minutes later he has to go pee NOW & we rush to the restroom.

NancyG said...

The second half of this post is to "poor planning."

EastBayNanny said...

*APPLAUSE ABOVE*!!!!! But future nurse is confused with previous I think...

No Sympathy said...

I do not understand why when she saw him starting to pee she didn't scoop him up and have him stay on the grass.

Or why you didn't scoop your son up and hurry back to the toilets


No this incident didn't just occur infront of mom the police officer ( I prefer that to cop which is disrespectful) saw, if he saw others saw.

This does no harm it teaches people that just because they have a child doesn't mean they are ENTITLED to have their child pee everywhere he pleases.

PayUp said...

Pay the ticket mom!

Sure she may have had a valid reason, but she still broke the rules and allowed her son to break the rules.

melissa said...

I totally agree about pull ups- they're a waste of time, EXCEPT when you're out and about. A two year old who is potty training should have a more prepared parent. It isn't the store's fault for telling them no. This is what diaper bags and extra underpants and pants are for. I mean really, you are always chancing an accident with a potty-training child. Let her pay the ticket and learn her lesson.

melissa said...

I totally agree about pull ups- they're a waste of time, EXCEPT when you're out and about. A two year old who is potty training should have a more prepared parent. It isn't the store's fault for telling them no. This is what diaper bags and extra underpants and pants are for. I mean really, you are always chancing an accident with a potty-training child. Let her pay the ticket and learn her lesson.

Ocean Blue said...

I agree it is poor planning.

I have seen the way many parents toilet their young kids, it's absolutely not effective and leads to accidents.

I've also seen parents ignore all signs that their kid has to go to the bathroom until it'd too late which again leads to accidents.

Also isn't the whole point of training your child to realize when and when it is not appropriate to go.

I'd say you need to stop him when they start to pull down their pants and bring them to a toilet or the very least a secluded area.

I also tend to think that until a child has reached a stage in the training process where they can consistantly wait until an appropriate place is found they should where a pull up.

RESPECT said...

That poor baby!

Think of how he felt having to pee outside?

I'm sure he knew that was a no-no. and now he has his picture posted everywhere for years to come and can be remembered as pee boy.

All because of his mother.

She could have at least made a real effort to conceal him.

Shame on her.

1234 said...

I guess she's lucky he had to go pee instead of poo.

He needs to be in pull ups for outings.

Mom should pay the ticket, but proably won't because we live in the land of public opinion and the opinion of the day is I and my own are entitled to do as we please.

Lyn said...

Mom should pay the ticket. The cop probably could have handled the situation differently, BUT I wasn't there, I don't know what he saw. Maybe he saw a Mom out and about with 2 children and saw her stand passingly without trying to intervine as her 2 year old undid his zipper and prepared to pee. If I were a cop and was sick of seeing bad parenting practices I might do the same. Man, how great would it be to have the power to fine bad parents? Haha. Unless this kid was lightening quick with the draw mom should have been able to spot the signs that he was going to burst in seconds and scoop him over to the grass atleast. Would that have gotten her out of a ticket? What if she moved him mid stream? Honestly, I think it probably would have. From the way the article reads the cops problem wasn't with the child, it was with how the mom was parenting.

Bethany said...

If it were me I would pay the ticket and move on. No need to make a big issue out of it.

I also agree with the poster that pointed out that this poor child now has his face and accident preseved for years to come.

leftcoastmama said...

Here's my mommy view:

Kids have accidents even when you do your best to prevent them. We were in a the same situation with one of our children , and we ended up with a ticket.

We paid the ticket.

katydid said...

I think it's a sad commentary on owhat our society has become when one of the first actions of this mother is to contact her local media outlet AND the story gets reported.

MissMannah said...

Agree with Melissa. Pull-ups are generally a waste of time and money, unless you're out and about and don't have easy access to a bathroom. Potty-training children is also teaching them where it is appropriate for them to go. I also annoys me that the mom posed her kid for a picture holding up the ticket.

Ice queen said...

I nanny a 3 year old that Has accidents. If I was in a store shopping (I don't do that but let's say there's an emergency and I need something), and they wouldn't let a 3 year old use a restroom? I be livid. That's ridiculous. I'd probably let him pee His pants and then leave with a smirk.

I don't think it's a cops job to solicit parenting advice. They're there to protect not say omg someone could see. Valid point but the thing is perverts have imaginations. They don't need to see your kid naked to imagine him naked.

Ice queen said...

I nanny a 3 year old that Has accidents. If I was in a store shopping (I don't do that but let's say there's an emergency and I need something), and they wouldn't let a 3 year old use a restroom? I be livid. That's ridiculous. I'd probably let him pee His pants and then leave with a smirk.

I don't think it's a cops job to solicit parenting advice. They're there to protect not say omg someone could see. Valid point but the thing is perverts have imaginations. They don't need to see your kid naked to imagine him naked.

Future nurse :) said...

I don't think I'm confusing it haha. However maybe I've worded it wrong if it's confusing. I was just saying we can't blame the mother for the son pottying, and offering an example as to my reasoning :) sorry it was confusing :)

Beezus said...

When I was about 7 my family and I were at a horse show. We showed horses and one of my mothers friends, who also had a daughter my age decided to tag along. Well, about an hour into the whole event her daughter had to use the bathroom. Instead of walking her to the porta potty like a normal mother, she decided to take her daughters bottoms off, hold her in the air like she was laying down and tell her to pee. We were in a very busy and crowded area. A lot of people were not only appalled at what she had just done they were very angry at they had just been forced to witness. She basically had her pee a stream from a about 5 feet in the air that came splashing down and around everyone's feet! It is truly the first time I can remember being so embarrassed for someone else. The mother and daughter were actually asked to leave immediately by the people who were running the showgrounds. The worst part was she was didn't believe she had done anything wrong and defended her actions entirely. So gross and so embarrassing for a little girl to go through that.

When I take my 2 year old charge out I always pack a few diapers/pull ups and an extra outfit. Because when nature calls, it's best to be prepared.

EastBayNanny said...

Future nurse- my comment was not to you but for you- NM- misunderstanding

EastBayNanny said...

Beezus- WOW! It is such an awful feeling to see kids shamed by their adults this way. I'm wondering for parents like this if there is some kind of sick enjoyment in humiliating their children this way. Built up resentment or jealousy?

slb3334 said...

One thought, some stores do not have public restrooms. I know our second hand store in town does. Also, whose to say she was shopping?

Saying that, I am not sure how I feel about this as I have a 5 year old nephew that has a physical issue that makes it so he has to go suddenly. He is potty trained but just had problems at school earlier this week as the teacher wouldn't let him go.

Future nurse :) said...

No prob, it's easy to get confused when we can't see each other. Nothing wrong with clearing up misunderstandings!! :)

nannybear said...

Alright, I know I will get roasted and toasted for posting this, but I'm going to anyways, because this is one of my biggest pet peeves. I honestly, firmly believe that the only excuse EVER for peeing outside, is if you are camping. Why do we teach our boy (yes, mostly boys for obvious reasons, but I realize girls are not excluded from this entirely) that it is acceptable to pee wherever the please? It is the epitome of laziness in my opinion to let children pee outdoors when there is a toilet within reachable reasonable distance. The family I work for lets the son pee in the backyard so he wont have to go inside. REALLY? We live in an age with indoor plumbing, and we are civilized people. Peeing outside is an animalistic behavior, why would you encourage that? We don't cook over a fire, or bathe in streams anymore because we have kitchens and bathrooms.

The police officer in question was IMO right on for ticketing this lady. Though, for me, not even because of perverts, because perverts don't need any help finding children to creep on, clothed or unclothed. The mom deserved to be ticketed because peeing in public is ILLEGAL for good reason.

I'm the nanny who gets to the park, only to leave within minutes to take a kid to the bathroom, while his Mom lets him pee in the bushes (this is a public park at an elementary school mind you). If we teach our children that it is acceptable to go on a lamppost or at the park, how do we know he wont decide to go on the school playground, or in the neighbors garden?

Potty training is hard, and that business was not helpful in denying a small child use of a restroom facility, I think I'd make a complaint to the better business bureau if I was in this situation. But, the solution in this situation was not to pee on a lamp post. I don't know what advice to offer the mother (not thats she's asking, I realize that she could careless what some lady in Texas thinks of her) because I know when toddlers have to go, they have to go NOW. But to me, the answer will never be to go outside.

My fiancé and I argue about this all the time, because he (as a man, who can pee where he pleases) sees nothing wrong with going around a corner to pee, when a bathroom is within sight, and I think its appalling. I know boys will be boys and that my own children will probably do this at some point (probably because they were encouraged by their father, if I had to guess) but it is not, nor will it ever be something I condone.

MissMannah said...

Nanny Bear, very well said! I agree with you 100%!

Bethany said...

I agree with you too nannybear.

Pullups/diapers are great for outings when you can't be sure of an available space.

Jessica said...

Pull ups are a waste even for outings IMO. I have potty trained 5 kids and it is best to STAY IN until kids are completely potty trained (for me 5 days max we dont start potty training until child has woken up dry from their nap for a FULL WEEK.) Obviously its a commitment but one that has enormous benefit. I have had to take a potty training child out with pull ups (PER PARENTS) and guess what they peed in their pants and we had to start all over again so pull ups are a total waste IMO. I don't think it is ok to pee in public esp when you are TRAINING but accidents happen esp with boys. It seems to me like he had a handle on the training but could not use the only restroom that was near him. They probably didnt bring extra clothes because he had a handle of the PT. So they ended up in the street being lectured by a police officer. I think the cop could have been a little more understanding to the situation and maybe give the woman a warning. Kids can be unpredictable and sometimes you can be unprepared.

hmmm said...

I agree with nanny bear. In the exact same way not curbing my dog and picking up the poop deserves a ticket, so does this.

Poor planning and an indignant parent. nice.

nycmom said...

In theory, of course no one wants their kids to ever have an accident or emergency. That would be wonderful. But using pull-ups during potty training is a pretty counterproductive suggestion for most kids. I know for many it would delay training significantly.

In the real world, accidents happens. Even if you are finely attuned to your dc's signals, some kids simply don't give any until 1-2 minutes before they determine they MUST pee now. I keep a Travel John Jr. in my purse at all times for emergencies, but it would still require my ds (or when she was younger, dd) to urinate outdoors/in public in the case of an emergency. The difference is the pee would be contained rather than on the sidewalk. Not really sure what other solution there is, even for the most prepared parent, with a dc who doesn't give you notice/signals (besides never going out in public).

I think the key is the mom's intent and attempts to use the store's restroom. Clearly this mom tried to solve the issues appropriately and was unable to do so. This makes it hard for me to think poorly of her. However, the ticket is what it is. There are plenty of laws I do not agree with and may choose not to obey, but I still understand that I am responsible for the consequences of my actions. If I felt morally opposed to a law, I see the point in going to court over it even if the outcome is the same. The only way we will ever change things we thing are unjust (and this is not necessarily a particularly good example of that) is by standing up for our beliefs.

1234 said...

I disagree that use of a Pull-up automatically delays training.

In the case of outings your first aim would be to find a toilet, and if you couldn't find one or the child was too fast there would at least be something to catch the urine.

I'm all for people standing up for their beliefs, but I can't get behind it being illegal to urinate in public an example of social injustice no matter how much empathy I have for the situation

The Entitled Masses said...

Social injustice *snorts*

Just another entitled , lazy modern parent expecting the world to revolve around and change for her offspring

Future nurse :) said...

You know I was re reading this and the comments and all I could think was how different would this situation be if it were a nanny who let the little boy pee and she got the ticket. As a whole nannies would be roasted by every mom around!

Oh philly said...

Omg Philly is so hard if you need to pee- I once had a 4 year old and baby with me and had to wait in line I purchase a bottle of water before I was actually allowed to let the boy use the toilet. Poor little guy just had to go suddenly. He peed before we left, drank a lot of water as it was scorching that day, and suddenly needed to pee. He was poorly potty trained thanks to mom!! I once made him pee in his pants when we had no choice. There are so many ally ways on Philly couldn't mom find a dumpster or something???

JJ said...

I obviously need some parenting lessons from all of you who are 100 percent concentrated on your child every second and never step out of the house without your 72 hour kit just in case. I'm sure your two year old never throws a tantrum in public either, maybe you could give me some tips of how I can be more prepared for that. To have total control over my child's will and ensure he makes no mistakes is of course our goal in raising them. That way when the time comes for him to take care of himself and be an adult with adult responsibilities and choices he can look back and say, "????? Well I'll just yell out to mom from the basement, she'll know what to do."