Superiority Complex

I often see on this blog nannies with more experience criticizing their young counterpart for not standing up for themselves. While I advocate nannies standing up for fair pay and treatment, I feel there is a sense of entitlement among the younger generation of nannies. They have a list as long as the Nile of things they will not do, they think they are equal to (or better than) the parent in the eyes of the child. They demand high paying salaries and expect to do little work. They think to have the right to do as they wish with a child that is not their own. I also see a lack of professionalism in this newer crop. They want to be friends with their employers or be treated as family. They want to be able to eat what they like, go where they please during work hours, and be on their phone or computer as much as they please.They wave around their advanced degrees and certificates demanding higher pay, but behave as though they are a favorite aunt or teenage babysitter. I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.These same nannies then go and complain about the lack of respect nannies receive. I say look in the mirror you are the cause.


MirrorMirrorOnTheWall said...

I think 99% of that is your perception. Your statements are a reflection of you, not what you're reading. Do you have an quotes to share, that can support your view??? There should be plenty for you to choose from.

Lyn said...

I have no idea where to start with a post like this so forgive me if my response seems to be all over the place or centered in one area more than the others.

I agree that there are women here who criticize younger/just starting out Nannies for not standing up for themselves. But I think that is because we have ALL at one point or another compromised on something in the workplace that we shouldn't have. I'd like to think so many of us are vocal in our advice to the newer group because we know the tricks of the trade and how job creep can begin. It's very easy to take a job that pays your $12 an hour and by not knowing how to professionally and kindly say no to requests turn it into a job that under pays you for your regular duties by as much as $5 hourly. And it's very frustrating when you find yourself in that sort of situation and very difficult to back out of without having to find another family. Something that is taking longer and longer with todays crazy market. Which also brings into play our long lists of things we will not do. If we have verbally mentioned this list or perhaps created an addition to our contracts with fees for added on work, it's less likely that we will be taken advantage of and less likely that our MB/DB's will not realize the amount of work that we do during the day as it is.
And believe me, a good Nanny DOES work. It's tough stuff helping to raise and mold a child in to a kind, loving, curious and inquisitive member of society. As far as our "high salaries" The average Nanny makes well under $35,000 a year. Trying to live comfortably on less than that amount is hell. A Nanny deserves more than what a parent would pay a full time daycare for their child. This is not a statement of entitlement but one of fact. As a Nanny I provide a curriculum, activities, crafts and outings catered to your little ones personal development. I spend hours of my free time putting together plans for the week/month and shopping for the needed supplies. Daycares are there for a reason and there are some good ones out there if you are willing to look. But offering someone who comes to your home on your schedule a fee that is the same as or less than what you would pay a daycare for lesser care of your child is an insult. I'm sorry, but it just is.
"They think they have a right to do as they wish with a child who is not their own." I agree that their are some bad Nannies out there who totally take advantage of their MB/DB's trust sometimes. But these people simply do not last in our career. The proof is in the pudding. You can absolutely tell what sort of Nanny you've hired by watching who your little one is growing into.

UmassSlytherin said...

I will agree that there is a sense of entitlement with many young people today. I have supervised teens and they are 18 years old and it is their first job. I worked when I was 14. It is frustrating to see young people with no work ethic. It is because a lot of them don't have to pay for anything: mummy and daddy pay their car insurance, rent, college tuition, etc. all without any financial contribution on the young person's part. It's like some of these young women are set up for failure in the real world.

OceanBlue said...

I'm a young nanny , and I don't think I'm entitled.

I make a decent wage, but I think it's fair considering I cae for two kids for 10 or more hours a day. I work.

I offer advice when I can, but I don't argue with their mother or think I'm more important than the mother.

I do chores as well. These chores are limited to kids, but I do them.

I take my job seriously and I believe I act as a professional.

Bethany said...

I really don't think it's wrong to strongly encourage better pay. In my opinion nannies are grossly underpaid.

I will agree with you that younger people seem to lack a work ethic, but that can be found in any field. and I think it's partly, due to being younf and needing to mature and partly due to the moost recent generations of young people did not need to work and weren't required to work growing up. Things were given to them.

As for refusing certain chores I think it's fair for a nanny to negotiate. I don't think it's fair to expect her to be you housecleaner.

I do agree that I've come across nannies lately who refuse any of the messier tasks of childcare. For example I don't do diapers, but want a job with infants because the pay is higher.

I don't think you need to worry, as Lyn said the lazy ones tend not to last long.

daisy said...

I think it is partly a reflection of the newer generation. but also a reflection of society as a whole- many parents I come in contact with now want more for less where 10 years ago there were more boundaries (child related-you, not child related- not you). I have worked for families in which I did all the shopping, laundry, picking up and child duties- but I was paid accordingly and had a wonderful working relationship with the parents. I have also worked jobs where it was all child based work and the parent(s) grossly underpaid and over time attempted to pile on many VERY non- child related duties to save money by not filling the other positions. (a well staffed house)

It would be wrong to base any of these assumptions on age, class or any other demographic. there are good nannies, and not good nannies. some get into it for the wrong reasons, perhaps they think it is easy good money. when in fact any good nanny will tell you it is not easy. It is a lot of work, stress, patience..... I could go on. that said there are good families to work for and families to stay away from. Some don't realize that $6/hr is an insult and some do and want to get away with it as long as possible. that too is another post - very long post.

NannyPants said...

Lyn said it perfectly.
I don't have much to add other than that this post seemed very bitter and almost degrading to all young nannies. I know I'm a good nanny. I know I work hard. I know that the little boy I take care of is growing and developing skills and a personality just as he should, partly because of the care I give him. I do not feel as though I "SHOULD" be a part of the family, my MB and DB wanted that when they decided to get a nanny so that is the relationship we have. I did not feel entitled to that. I see NOTHING wrong with that.

MissMannah said...

"I often see on this blog nannies with more experience criticizing their young counterpart for not standing up for themselves."

I don't really see how this sentence fits in with the rest of your post. Are you saying we "older" nannies should stop criticizing the younger ones because they are all lazy and deserve to be taken advantage of?

StrawberryShortKakes said...

I am no longer a nanny but I see what you are saying, OP. I am young (23) and I think that people who are just graduating college are very naive when it comes to their first few jobs. Everyone works so hard in school and upon graduating it would be ideal to get a job that rewards us for our degrees, certificates, etc. I don't think that's a bad thing but I think with experience many of us realize it is much more complicated in the work world. I was not one of those people that graduated and felt that the world owed me something, in fact I was scared to death that I was going to be unemployed!

Overall I think it comes with experience that you learn to pick your battles and not walk into a job (any job) demanding things. I worked at a job for 8 months and really was not happy for the last few months there but I knew I just had to suck it up and deal with it until I found something else. I am starting this new job next week and I know it isn't going to be perfect but at least it is using my degree and it will be income! I'm slowly learning that no job is perfect and that I do need to listen to people who are older than me- as much as I hate it!

Phoenix said...

the younger generation superiority complex is not just in the nanny field. It is EVERYWHERE.

The younger generation wants a trophy for every good thing they do not matter how insignificant it is. they want everyone to automatically forgive, forget, and not get angry when they screw up no matter how bad the mess up is

MirrorMirrorOnTheWall said...

You guys are funny. EVERY single generation has complained that the last isn't as hard working & doesn't have the same work ethic as their generation. Our parents said the same thing.

nycmom said...

I have to say, I agree with Phoenix.

This is not restricted to nannies, though I generally agree in regard to hiring a nanny also. There have been articles and books written about this "Boomerang Generation." And I have to acknowledge, it must be difficult to be part of a generation where the tradition of doing better than your parents (in a positive way) and working hard to get ahead no longer apply. Kids graduate from college now with no real career prospects, huge debt, and an entire childhood of being told how adored they are (again, in a positive way by loving parents). So, yes, there is absolutely entitlement and frustration among young people. But as with all age groups, there are still those that work hard and those that are entitled.

I generally do not prefer young people (early-mid 20s) as full-time nannies for many of the reasons OP listed, but also because they often lack endurance and text all the f*cking time! I cannot stand all the constant texting while working. Also, because younger women with childhood-related degrees believe, and are led to believe, that that confers extra qualifications and pay. However, I don't find it adds much value in practical terms so we have a big disconnect. Also because the job is really hard and I think having raised your own kids or having lots of experience does bring more realistic expectations. I love young women for shorter duration babysitters. However, I will say I have read a lot from some of the younger women on here who sound like they are excellent nannies. So I am quite certain young, skilled nannies are out there.

Nashville Nanny said...

I agree with MirrorMirror.... my mother claims I don't know what "real work" is. And my grandfather told me how he walked "up hill both ways in the snow" to get to school. Cry me a river.........

Manhattan Nanny said...

When nannies are told to stand up for themselves on this site, it is because their employers are clearly taking advantage of them. We old fogies don't like seeing young naive women being exploited!

SallySellsSeeShellsByTheSeaShoe said...

You say entitlement like its a bad thing. Young nannies are entitled to fair treatment & fair pay. We encourage them to stand up for themselves because we have been there & if we could turn back the hands of time, we would do things differently. Were not encouraging bad behavior. Were encouraging them to stand up for what's just. Without learning how to stand up for ones self, a nanny will grow bitter & eventually the undercurrent of poor communication pull her under. The job will be washed away in a sea of resentfulness. :)

I don't see nannies trying to do whatever they want with their charges or thinking they're equal to or better than MB.

All kinds of people in all kinds of careers have cell phone & computer addiction. I don't think this has anymore do to with young nannies than it has to do with say receptionists.

I see women who want to be nannies & have NO experience, asking for $20 an hour. That's not going to happen. I believe this is a result of the economy. They see that a nanny can make $20 an hour. They've lost their old job @ $30 an hour. So they think being a nanny is a decent replacement. The problem is, they don't have enough experience to command a decent wage. I agree with you there.

Your rant reminds me of an older lady complaining about how the "younger generation" feels entitled & doesn't work as hard as they did in "my day." My parents think my generation doesn't know how to work hard. And my generation thinks the generation after mine is lazy & entitled, with no work ethic. I have seen some dysfunctional kids. They're extremely lazy & they act like adults are there to serve their every whim. These are kids between twelve & eighteen). I've also seen some adults (in their twenties & thirties) who are extremely lazy & they act like the world owes them something. They literally live off of others, like the government or their parents. So that's a problem that every generation deals with.

Truth Seeker said...

I agree that our younger generation has some self-entitlement issues.

Truth Seeker said...

Part of it is due to youth and part of it is due to the way they were raised, by both society and their parents. We are so spoiled w/our modern technology. Instant gratification is considered a right now as opposed to privilege.

As a working nanny, I see parents give in to their kids ALL the time. If little Suzy Q doesn't want to take her bath, instead she wants to watch T.V., her parents give in to her rather than waste energy trying to fight it. If little Mikey doesn't want to take a nap, then the parents prolong his play time...only to end up w/a cranky kid the rest of the day.

Parents need to be parents and stand up to their kids. Instead of giving into their whims. Period.

That is why we see the youth of today so self-entitled.

Also, some of it is just due to the immaturity of being young.

A lot of the younger nannies I know are not as focused and committed to their jobs as the older ones. They still have Mom and Dad to help out if they need it. They usually charge an arm and a leg for their services just because they hear that nannies make $20/Hr so why shouldn't they? Their work ethic is much weaker and many of them don't give a hoot about kids in general.

Plus, they have their cell phones glued to their hip 24/7. Heaven forbid they miss a call from their boyfriend.

Hardworking said...

I'm sorry but this is such a bad generalisation. I am 24 my phone stays in my pocket so mb can contact me at her request! I would rather keep it in my purse. I don't take personal calls or texts I am at work!! But I am 24 so how can you say all young people!!!!!!
I do not expect or feel I have to have something. I have experience with a downs syndrome child whose mother only trusts me to care for him other than herself or immediate family why because I am mature and capable after all I can re-place his gastric feeding tube should he pull it out during naptime or playtime. I would bet many of you could not do this!! I do not feel I should get oh so much more for doing this I am happy to as he is an angel. I do not expect huge amounts of money too. After all I am a nanny because I enjoy the field of child care.
I would rather receive $10 an hour an really enjoy my day and have the satisfaction of seeing children grow and develop with my input than a bank balance that is huge.

Aries said...

OP, How do you no how these nannies act around there Employers? You dont, just sterotyping, you're very narrowminded. Lol. You walk around bitter acting like you know it all but your post shows otherwise.

OP you don't make sense. You say '' While I advocate nannies standing up for fair pay and treatment'' then shortly after you say ''They have a list as long as the Nile of things they will not do'' - First of all, there is NO list. EMPLOYORS are the ones with the long lists (vacuum, mop, errands, washing MB/DH laundry, etc,,), Alot of employors do take advantage an Nannies are becoming better at sticking up for themselfs an knowing there rights. Maybe thats the entitlement you sense?

How do you no all these nannies are doing little to no work? Again you don't. Most nannies work there butts off so that's why they deserve atleast double min wage. You jealous? too bad.

They don't try to be friends with the family nor do they go into a job thinking 'gee i hope we become like family', it just happens over time when that bond is filled. Btw, why do you care? lol

Ofcourse they want to eat what they like, most people do. Why, aree you willing to eat something you don't like? That wouldn't make sense.

'Go where they please during work hours' - again, how do you no? Oh yeah, haha, you don't. You don't no anything.

I think OPs jealoussss, na na na naaaa **sticks tounge out**

Aries said...

Also OP, you act like older nannies are saints.. I can sense the type of person you are just by your pathetic rant you've just wrote up on a whim because you have something against younger nannies. FYI, WE DONT CARE, lol, what did a younger nanny steal the job you wanted? Did MB/DH let you go because you were getting to old an couldn't keep up? are you not allowed to eat MB/DH's good food but the younger nanny down the street gets all the organtic delicious foods from her employers? You mad that younger nannies have a better social life then you (hence the reason they're glued to the phones/computer, atleast according to you). Are you mad that a younger nanny is already making more then you? An you talk about 'professionalism' yet you talk like your low class. Just saying. You mad you don't have a degree to way around?

I could go on but i've made my point. Bitterness will infest upon you and jealousy will bite but all the ranting in the world wont stop how you feel so i'll stop rambling. BYE! :)

MissMannah said...

Aries, way to be the mature one. I think you have pretty much personified the OP's post.

just sayin' said...

Good god, aries. I have to agree with missmannah. Act your damn age! This is pathetic and really proves OP's point!