In too Deep
Imagine me, devoted nanny of 7 months, sitting here in stunned disbelief in front of my MB's laptop as my one year old son and her 9 month old son play, the 3 year old and 6 year old are alseep in the room next door. She had just whipped out of the house a half an hour ago proclaiming her husband to be unfair, sloppy, irresponsible and cruel and asked me to write the letter of recommendation he had asked her to write before saying "if you could please finish it by ten and send it to me that would be best, the kids will sleep until then, thanks!" and with that she was gone. I will not make this whole post a narrative as it would go on forever but I do wonder how I got to this point. I am looking for a job right now behind my back even though I committed myself to a year, but she has turned around on almost everything she offered me at the get go.
These are the positives about my position: -MB doesn't mind that I don't have a car and use either public transportation or get rides from my husband or my father. -MB lets me wash my LOs things along with the family's things. -MB lets me eat her food. Negatives about my position: -I work 10/11 hours 6/7 days a week and only get paid $15 dollars in overtime after I've worked 11 hours. I get 450 a week. We live in Boston. -MB "insists" that I "don't clean" but then leaves the sink so full of dishes that I can not prepare anything for the kids without emptying out the sink. -Even though MB tries to make it appear that she doesn't want me to "do certain things" she will complain if they are not done. One time her husband threatened her with a divorce and she actually blamed me for not keeping the house clean. She also got upset at me for not COMPLETELY REORGANIZING the kids room while all that week her kids were very emotional fragile and I was tending to those needs as I constantly updated her on and she OKd. She apologized for this outburst she had at me. -MBs parents are visiting from India. Her mom leaves things all over the kitchen floor and there are triple the dishes. -I sweep the whole first floor every day. -Every other day I take all the rugs out side and fan them out. Every two weeks I wash the rugs that fit in the washing machine. -I do the whole family's laundry, folding and all. Sometimes I have to put away MBs/DBs laundry. -MB is always asking me for "favors" i.e., her parents were coming a day earlier than expected and she had me completely clean the whole entire house, three bedrooms three bathrooms, in 12 hours with out extra compensation.
Her parents went to New York about a week ago and on the day they were to return she asked me to make their bed. Knowing I have a writing background, she set me up with her husband to "help him" write his personal statement for medical fellowship. I spent about ten hours with this guy and then he didn't do any revisions on what we did together, sent it to a guy that he works with, and then sent it back to me and had me rework it and finalize it on my day off. I did get paid an extra $100 for this but then today MB throws another assignment at me with the assumption that her children will not wake before 10. Do you know your children? I guess I shouldn't be sitting here writing this.... -What has been driving me up a wall is that during our big argument I told MB that I'm not a housekeeper and she told me that she could get somebody to live with her who cooks and cleans ...as though I don't cook and clean. She just doesn't think anything less than a full Indian meal is cooking. She also told me she doesn't expect me to mop the floors but then the day I returned from my two week vacation she told me she wants me to swiffer mop the floor every time her 9 month old spits up. And he spits up a lot. I do not understand why a sponge would not suffice. -She "gave me" two weeks off...unpaid. Then the day I got back, June 25th, she told me that she and the kids were going for a week to UAE on July 29th and that I would be getting another week off, unpaid....... -She was supposed to be working 24 hours shifts and told me she would pay me overtime after 22 hours working because, you see, I'm "technically" working for two days when I do a 24 hour shift...and I have the whole next day off...no big deal, right?
Many may wonder why I do this, why I let things get this far and this deep. I potty trained the 3 year old, I helped the 6 year old go up 3 levels in reading in less than 3 months. I have been attentive and loving to the 9 month old. And I truly do like MB. She is sweet and kind and she really cares about her work and her patients and I have respect for her. I definitely feel like a maid but I can NOT lose my job. I nannied only once before (I have worked with children in other capacities since I was 14 years old, I' m now 22), but I didn't have a child then and I was paid 10 dollars an hour to watch after an 18 month old and it was great. I love kids and I am well versed and educated. I graduated from the best high school in Boston and then went to the best school there is for working with children but then I got pregnant and my husband and I decided to keep our son despite our fiscal situation. I had problems with my milk supply when I went back to school and then my husband got injured on his job without compensation and couldn't work for a while and went uncompensated. Even now he is just starting work in a week which means that SOMEHOW in Boston I've managed to take my 1800$ a month salary and pay for food, clothes, car insurance, and rent without government aid.
Anyway, I decided to take the year off so that I could nurse my son for a year and so that my husband may heal. School had always been so easy for me before and I am getting back into a program this coming month (on line and then will merge into campus courses). I got back into what I know (kids) and took up a nannying position where somebody would allow my son to come along at a reduced rate but then a friend of mine were going through the math and I realized that I get paid under 7$ an hour most weeks. I think have allowed the shame and self loathing of having a child before I was fully prepared to let this woman take advantage of my hard work. I know I am not the housekeeper or the laundress....but what do I do now that I am in so deep? What do I do when I am in a position where I have a child to provide for and many are apprehensive about employing a nanny who brings her own child along for a fair rate?
at 2:32 AM