1) Sitter needed this Sunday - (Chicago) Hi there, I'm looking for a sitter for my 3 year son on Sunday, June 1st. We live in Irving Park and would prefer to have him play at your place for the day, if you are north or west of here (particularly if you're along the 90) on my way towards the ohare area. I will need someone from about 640am til 4pm. I can only pay 30 dollars which I understand isn't fabulous but would be ideal for a stay at home mom who will be awake at that awful hour anyway and could use the extra cash. If you're interested, please shoot me an email with a little bit about yourself, including your location and childcare experience. Thanks, Mary.
Submitted by MissDee. Thank you!

2) Dream Job! - (VB) We need child-care (in our home) for a few hours on Saturday and Sunday for our 2 year old daughter. She is very easy to care for, does not require a lot of assistance, plays well on her own, independent but does love occasionally interacting with others.
-willing to play with child
-assist with learning material
-willing to do light housework
-give snacks/meal
-enjoy reading and dancing
-over 18 years old
-up-to-date on CPR and first aide
-minimum of 3 references (complete contact information)
-no criminal history (a thorough and complete background check will be done)
-reliable transportation
-responsible and professional
-no tv/texting
-no visitors
*Do NOT waste our time if you don't have EVERYTHING listed above! *Text your full name and time that we are to talk - (632 ****) *Rates will be discussed - paid daily for care. __________________________________________________________
Submitted by Jen. Thank you!

3) NANNY or BABYSITTER NEEDED ASAP - (Mesa) I am looking for someone who is able to babysit my little ones from ((7:45AM to 530PM)) my son is 2 and my daughter is 4months old there both really sweet loving and kind, we have a LARGE BACK YARD and no pets at all the house is always clean and there is yummy food to eat im looking for live out nanny in a HOUSE in mesa , I am NOT able to pay bye the hour so please DON`T ask that of me lets face it I CAN NOT pay what im making in a day thats just not going to happen I have to kids to feed and cloth and take care of Im looking for someone who is doing this more for extra spending money, my 4month old sleeps most the day she is vary good and my 2year old takes a nap and he also is a really mellow child , so keep this in mind as well , you must have a way to get to my home if you need a ride home thats fine (as long as its in mesa ), 4TH of July i have off SO YOU HAVE 4th of July off too let me know what works for you and ill try and work with you as well , this would be perfect for a summer job or college student needing extra income . call text or email is fine 480-286-**** need someone ASAP Monday-Friday ((7:45am-5pm )) somedays 330pm Payday would be EVERY Friday Im willing to pay 125.00 a week PERKS = you get to eat in the morning with my little one, you get to eat snakes and lunch with him ((free food )) My 4 month old sleep most the day she eats in the am and takes her morning nap then she wakes up eats i put her in the swing she has tummy time then she sleeps another 4 hours My son gets up in the morning eats then plays cars dances sings then he takes a nap for 2 1/ 2 hours then he will like to play some more with toy's and what not and he will be hungry for lunch There good kids im looking for someone who is not a flake someone i can depend on and someone who will love my children as if they where there own family.
Submitted by Porky Pig. Thank you!

4) Night time nanny needed - (Spokane Valley, Wa) I am in need of a nanny who is available night time hours to care for my 10 month old daughter. The hours will vary day to day but the schedule is as follows. Sunday-OFF Monday- 9:00AM-1:30PM Tuesday- 9:00PM-11:00AM Wednesday- 9:00PM-1:30PM Thursday- 9:00PM-11:00AM Friday- 9:00PM-11:00AM Saturday- OFF The pay would be $100 a week with opportunity for more. I know this doesnt seem like much of an hourly wage but the majority of your time working for me you are able to do whatever you want including sleep, we have internet, not cable but do have a tv and dvd player and you are more than welcome to bring your own movies. You can choose to sleep in my bed or on the couch whichever you are more comfortable doing. Duties: Olivia (my daughter) sleeps mostly all the way through the night if she wakes up it will be for a binky or bottle then you can go back to bed. You will be expected to get up with her in the morning and feed her breakfast. After this just make sure she has a clean diaper and gets dressed for the day. She is a fairly independent baby and will keep herself busy for the most part if you put on cartoons and give her some toys. I will also provide supplies for small learning activites for her every once in awhile if you would like. If this is something that would interest you I can be contacted at (360) 593-**** or you can email me through craigslist I will be interviewing people through the week . Thanks for reading.
Submitted by Porky Pig. Thank you!

4) Part-Time Babysitter Needed ASAP! - (Meridian, Mississippi) I am a 24 year old single mom seeking someone to care for my 5 year old son on the weekend. My work schedule is Saturday through Wednesday from 7am to 3:25pm. This job will last until October, 2012 or longer, depending on my work schedule. My son is not in a daycare facility just yet, but I plan to make a decision soon. He will start kindergarten in August. My son is very independent, well-mannered and plays well with others. He enjoys both indoor and outdoor enviorments. One of his favorite activities is watching cartoon. In addition, I'm sure anyone will enjoy his company. I am seeking a very responsible, mature, individual to take care of my child. Must have experience in childcare. I would prefer this individual to have children, but this is not a requirement. Must be at least 18 years of age. You will be allowed to work in the comfort of your own home or at my apartment. I may not need assistance every single weekend, but you will be notified in advance if I don't. I am willing to pay up to $20 a day. If this is not resonable, please do not apply. Please respond to my email if interested....Serious inquries only please. Thanks! Santanna.
Submitted by Porky Pig. Thank you!

5) babysitter wanted - (Wenatchee) Hello, im looking for childcare for my 2 year old daughter in my home hours will be from about Thursday 3:00-6:00 Friday 2:00pm-6:00pm Saturday 2:00-6:00 Sunday 1:00pm-6:00 Monday 3:00pm-6:00pm and Tuesday and Wednesday off hours and days may varie but you will have a week in advance notice im willing to pay $10.00/day and $15.00 when is more than 5 hours usually it will only be sundays im starting thise job on monday 6/11/2012 so the faster you contact me the better thise job is only from june- August if your interested please email me back with your name age and phone number and i will call you back thank you.
Submitted by Porky Pig. Thank you!

6) Tuesdays and Wednesday's - (Denver, CO) Description: I recently returned to college, so i'm looking for help on Tuesday's from 7am till 6pm and Wednesdays from 12 noon till 6pm. My semester starts on July 10th thru Sept 19, 2012. I will be paying $50 per week. My son is 2 and my daughter is 5. In late August my daughter will be attending school in the mornings for half days, so drop off and pick up will be required. It is close enough from my home to walk. I do not require transportation. I would prefer that the children are watched in my home, but you can take them to do activities, such as walking to the park. Please leave your phone number and email address so i may get back in touch. thanks ashlee. Rate:$50/Week. _______________________________________________________
Submitted by MEEBO guest. Thank you!

7) Live-in Nanny - Perfect for College or Grad Student - (Chicago) Hi there! Firstly, I would like to thank you in advance for your interest in this position. But, please know ... BEFORE YOU APPLY FOR THIS POSITION OR DECIDE TO EMAIL ME, PLEASE CAREFULLY READ THE FOLLOWING: My name is Franz, and my fiancée Marie and I just moved from South Florida to Chicago a few weeks ago. We are now living in the Oak Lawn area in a comfortable single family home. We are both recently graduated physicians about to begin our residency training here in the Chicago area and we are seeking a nanny to care for our beautiful 14 month old baby boy named Aiden. We are looking for someone with experience taking care of a toddler of his age group: someone that is patient, trustworthy, responsible, honest and kind as well as an individual that we feel as though would be a right fit for our family. My fiancée and I will be starting new positions in 2 different hospitals in the Chicago area. Our careers are very demanding and our schedules are very often unpredictable.

With that being said, there will be times when we need to be at the hospitals as early as 5:30am and will get home as late as 7 or 8pm. As such, there will be times when we are unable to get Aiden ready for daycare and there will be times when we are unable to pick him up. Our shifts at the hospital can range anywhere from 10-16 hrs a day depending on the month. There will also be times when we are "on-call" and would need to spend the night at the hospital if necessary. What we are looking for is someone who can get Aiden ready in the morning, drop him off at daycare by 8:30am and be available to pick him up by 5:30pm Monday through Friday. Your job would also entail feeding him dinner when he gets home, bathing him and getting him ready for bed, etc., in the event that we are not home as yet. This would only be a couple of hours in the evening at the most and maybe an hour or so in the mornings. Meanwhile, you would have the rest of the day to go to school, study or work etc, or do whatever you desire, as long as that did not interfere with your responsibilities concerning him. The weekends would be the only time you may need to work a full day, ONLY in the event that we are both working that day, and if there was a time where BOTH of us were on overnight call then you would need to take care of him during that time as well.

IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR NANNY SERVICES we will be offering free housing, free gas and electric and free cable and internet. Your only bills would be your personal bills like your cell phone, gas etc. Thus, you would be saving anywhere from $800-$1000/month in rent and utilities. We can also try to help out with some pocket money for gas etc if necessary. This is a unique opportunity to live rent free in a loving home, with a wonderful laid-back, fun, young family and spend time with one of the most beautiful little boys ever. We are currently living in a 4 bedroom 2 bathroom single family home in the Oak Lawn area - approx 30 minutes from the city. You will have your own room, which comes furnished (if you want) and you will have also have your own bathroom. You MUST HAVE your own reliable transportation to drop/pick up Aiden from daycare, which is only located 1 mile away from our house. We also have 2 small dogs under 20 lbs, so we would like someone who is accustomed to dealing with pets. If you have read this far and you are still interested, then please contact me with your name, age and experience. Please know that this is concerning our son, so we will be very strict with our search. You will need to provide references and must have a clean criminal record. Pictures and more infomation are readily available upon request and all emails will be answered promptly. I sincerely thank you for your time and we truly look forward to hearing from you! _______________________________________________________
Submitted by MissDee. Thank you!

8) Childcare Needed Immediately-Interview today and start tomorrow - (Northern RI) I need a nanny for at least the next 2 1/2 weeks, possibly longer. It is a lot of hours: 6am to 830pm on Mon and Tues and 7:50am to 10:30pm on Wed and Thurs 7am to 8pm (sometimes earlier) on Friday. Pay is $75/day paid bi-weekly, typically. The reason it is short-term is that I have been doing this since Jan since my divorce and have found an at-home position where I won't need full time help, but part-time after July 23rd is an option if interested. If you are just looking for a temp assignment and can be here on time and show up every day and give love and care to three beautiful children age 5, 9, and 10 that is fine also. I had major problems with the last person I had being late causing me to be late to get to Boston b/c the busses and trains run on a very tight schedule. If you are ten minutes late, I am two hours late. There were also 6 call-outs in five months including one today. She was great with the children, but I also need reliability. I do have a child with a fatal tree nut allergy which means caregiver has to be extra vigilant and responsible and not be afraid to use an epi-pen if necessary (we have never had to use it). Light chores like preparing meals (pasta/sandwiches are fine) and washing a few dishes afterwards are necessary, but not much more than that. Please call or email asap if serious and can commit to hours listed. Must be caring and responsible and no smoking on the premises due to two children with respiratory issues. Must have reliable transportation and be punctual, reliable, and responsible and not need any days off coming up excluding the fourth of July which I have off. Must be able to interview today and start tomorrow. 
Submitted by MEEBO guest. Thank you!


nynanny said...

I love the perks from #3. Not!

And what is it with some parents that think if their kids well behaved or sleeps a lot or naps well, we should get paid less? Grrr!

AirConditionedMissDee said...

MPP: Did you get the 4 ads I submitted recently? I didn't seem them posted and I sent them in because they had the same wording, same number and different areas of Chicagoland.

All I can say is we, (as nannies and early childhood educators) have a job more challenging than a doctor, and these parents want free childcare. Gross.

i love cl-wtf! said...

Dayum, porky pig, you rock!! You always pick the shittiest ads, lol! Good job!

MaryPoppin'Pills said...

Since I started doing CL-WTF this way, it has exploded with Readers sending in Ads! I easily have over 30 to go through right now and with that many, unless it is an especially horrible Ad, I won't be posting responses or multiple Ads (for space reasons.)

But I do appreciate what you have sent, so keep them coming... I want the worst ones you can find!

Rhiannon said...

Mmmmm snakes! Sign me up!

curious said...

I know, I caught that too- snakes! lmao, Her spelling and grammar are atrocious (but funny!!)

missmary said...

I don't see whats so bad with #2.....

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

Wow...regarding number three. I get to eat snakes!! Please PLEASE tell me that is a typo...LOL.

The rest regarding pay makes me sick. It's like the parents are offering slave wages and at the same time,they are trying too hard to justify their absurd reasons for it.

MissMannah said...

I didn't see anything wrong with #2 either. Anybody want to clue us in?

Phoenix said...

# 1 - has the ability to time travel. going to work over there!

# 2 - im never sure what light housework means

# 3 - was obviously not paying attention to her English classes. And the perks are free food. Wow this bitch is crazy

# 4b - I really wish people would ask their employers to work for as little as the nanny does. I mean really? Just because the kid is asleep you are still at work. And you don't get to do whatever you want to! The nanny can't leave the house.

And letting some weirdo telling me I can sleep in their bed. Ick

# 4b - it is very good that your kids favorite activity is watching cartoons. Great parenting

# 5 - wow. Sign me up!

# 6 - $50 per week! For 2 kids! Obviously college didn't teach her common sense

# 7 - so if you are not paying her, how is she supposed to pay for her "personal bills" And help with gas! I hope this Dr just had along night and it delirious from lack of sleep.

Village said...

The doctor is a dick. I'm not even going to clean it up.

He wants free, punctual care. HOW THE HELL IS SHE SUPPOSED TO GET TO WORK WITH NO MONEY FOR CAR, GAS, AND CELL PHONE, TO TELL YOU SHE HAS NO MONEY TO GET TO WORK? Oh she lives in, well never mind then. Did Illinois become a slave state as well?

It's only Monday, and these cheap skates are driving me nuts! I must put wine on the grocery list!

leftcoastmama said...


I'm not a nanny, but from what I see here's what some may have an issue with the poster didn't give exact hours. They don't specify what they mean by light housework.
They don't specify what assisting in learning material is. Do the want lesson plans?

They do not include a salary, and seem to want to pay off the books.

Others may not like being able to use the phone. In my view if you are seeking to hire a responsible professional you should be able to trust them to use the phone appropriately without banning them. Just my view. I also like my nannies to send my pictures and video updates throughout the day.

The over all tone of the posting is extemly negative and almost accusatory.

I understand wanting the best for your child, but it my experience it's never good to start of treating your nanny as a criminal.

leftcoastmama said...

I don't understand people.

I get being new to hiring a nanny and not knowing all hiring a nanny entails, but what you lack in specific nanny employer knowledge you should make up for in common sense.

You shouldn't have to be told you have to pay ssomeone to work for you. You shouldn't have to be told to pay someone more than $15 a day.

I doubt any of these people would work for free or $15 or less a day.

You want the best for your child? Act like it!

Un real!

ELam said...

LOL @ getting to eat snakes with #2's son...what a perk!

I am one proud grammar nazi and I really do not care when people get annoyed at others for pointing out grammatical errors. Proper grammar vs improper grammar seriously makes all the difference in the world.

Bethany said...

I can't mock someone for grammar mistakes. Lord knows I am the queen of misspellings and poor grammar, but snakes! Yikes!.

#2 How is that a dream job? Are they offerin take home $1000 a week. Sounds like an ordinary nanny position to me.

Same old cheap parents, Probably the same ones confused about why they can't get or keep a nanny.

I thought it was ridiculous when I saw an increase of people wanting a nanny for $200 or less a week, but more and more I'm seeing people that want someone for free. WTH?

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

Miss Mannah, what jumped out at me for #2 is that they want you for a "few hours" on Saturday and Sunday, but they want you to do "light housekeeping" and "learning material" - a few hours doesn't leave bunches of time for cleaning, unless the child is napping. And if the child is asleep, how are you going to do any "learning material"?

They just seemed a little tightly wound and had a tone that made me think they were paying $20 a day and expecting the moon and stars.

Beezus said...

Only really lame people refer to themselves as "grammar Nazis".
That snake/snack thing is hilarious!

Aries said...

#3 really irks me for many obvious reasons. She states 'i have NO PETS AT ALL'' (aside from the 'snakes lol) as if this is something people avoid. Pet's aren't hard to care for. She states she has a really big back yard, ok? She considers 'free food' some awesome perk. She wants you there over 9 hours dealing with an infant an toddler who are the hardest to car for but wants to pay $30 an claims its all she afford when we all know she is on some type of goverment assistance (welfare, foodstamps, etc).

ugh these parents p*ss me off with there cheap bottoms.

I'd do 2 said...

I would take #2 if the pay was good. Most of what they want seems pretty normal.

Razzle Dazzle said...

#2 sounds anal to me... like the type that would micromanage and have to have everything a certain way. Plus the last part (which rubbed me the wrong way) did have a kind of condescending tone to it.

#3: "Perks"? Lol, get out of here. I caught the 'snakes' thing too.

#7: They obviously didn't think this through. Nanny can't pay her "bills" without a paying JOB.