Thursday

Should Misplaced Items be Replaced?

OPINION
Could really appreciate some opinions about what you consider fair and appropriate when it comes to items lost during work: A few months ago, my nanny lost the laundry card. She replaced it and told me about it when I got home. A few weeks ago, she lost it again, but luckily my neighbor found it and returned it to her. Today, she lost my daughter's expensive jacket at the park. She told me about it and said she would go to Target and replace it. She looked all over for it. I was a little disappointed as I loved that jacket, and just said that was fine. But I was wondering what do other MBs and nannies do when things are lost/damaged during work? Are these items expected to be replaced or are they just on-the-job collateral damage that MBs just accept? I'm asking because I realize that whatever jacket she gets at Target will not be the same, so what would be the point? I was thinking of calling her and telling her not to worry and forget about replacing it. Will she be insulted or relieved? No idea what the best course of action is here.

29 comments:

la said...

My boss never asks me to replace things. In all honesty, we've broken more things than we've lost. MB knows her son is wild. And she knows stuff like that happens. We've only ever lost one sock and a hat. Which mysteriously showed up the next day, even though I thought we left it at the park.

Sarah said...

That is just damage the employer absorbs. Think about it, in any other job do you have to replace things you lose/break? (Staplers, copy machines, etc.) Even if a nanny damages a car during her duties the employer needs to pay. No one should pay out of pocket for their job, jobs pay you. Now if you decide your nanny is just too forgetful and it's too costly to keep her that is another matter.

fruitloops said...

I agree with the above posters, things break, things get lost, it happens. The nanny seems very responsible and honest to tell you every time she loses something. And she's keen on replacing those items too. If you're really worried about her buying a jacket that is not up to par with the one your daughter previously had, then just call her and say politely that it's not necessary. She will probably be relieved to hear that!

RahRah said...

I agree with everything Sarah said - as a general rule, nannies should not be expected to cover the cost of things like this, however, I certainly believe that it is a nanny's responsibility to treat items belonging to the family with respect, which includes keeping track of any items used throughout the day. If you find that your nanny is a bit too careless for your preference then this would be something to address with her right away. In reference to your final question, if the jacket from Target would not be a worthy replacement for the one lost and you would rather (and have the extra funds to) go out and just get what you want, there is no point in having her replace it. I don't think she would be offended if you told her not to worry about it, especially if you said it nicely - no one wants to spend money unecessarily. Since the real issue here is the habitual carelessness, you could even use the "don't worry about it" as a lead in to discussing that.

Nanny opinion said...

I'm a nanny with plenty of mishaps. My employers understand that's just life. I've been there for 2 yrs and overall it's been minimal damage. The worst thus far was when I broke their favorite etched glass fruit bowl. An exact replica could no longer be bought since it was no longer in production, but they gave me their credit card to go out and buy a new one. I didn't use my money to replace it, but I used a lot of my time finding the right one. Overall my employers have been extremely understanding.

Phoenix said...

well in the corporation that i work, if you lost it you replace it

Nanny of One said...

I agree with others whom have posted that the family is responsible for lost or broken items utilized while on the job.

However, if the nanny breaks or looses things on a regular basis then perhaps she is a liability and needs to be replaced.

In this case, I would just let it go... I really would. As it really worth disrupting your relationship over such a matter. I would however, explain t her that you would appreciate if she took measures to prevent lost or broken items going forward.

In her next contract, you could also include an area for this, if you feel fit.

Don't sweat it too much, as if your child was at daycare or preschool they would also loose stuff, so it shouldn't make a difference if your nanny does as well.

CRASHED A CAR
I saw the post about if the nanny gets into a car accident and I couldn't help but laugh as this happened to me!

I got into a car accident when I was first nanny in the downtown core of a big city. I had asked the family to drop me at University after work (as per our contract agreement) and they couldn't drop me or drive me to the train station.

So... I drove down and told them I was very uncomfortable doing so. I parked, and after my exam finished I was backing out of the parking spot (underground spot) and when I did I took off the left mirror!

I was upset but continued driving...

as I was exiting the underground and approaching the pay station I ran the van into the side of the concrete wall. When assistance arrived I couldn't even get the van out of the wall it had to get pulled out!

I called the family crying and wanted them to come down and get the car... they refused and this put me in a position where I had to drive back to their home with a damaged car and full of nerves.

In the end, the had always said that I was on the insurance, and now all of the blue I am not on the insurance and have no coverage at all!

They demanded that I pay for 50% of the damage which would having me pay out of pocket around $700.00.


Being worried about my position as well as to avoid legal matters I paid the $700.00 and stopped driving the car asap.

This factor and their lie regarding the insurance affected my position and feeling toward them.

I ended up quitting about 3 weeks after the car accident.

:)

Sarah said...

@NannyofOne, something similar happened to me. MB usually always drove her daughter to school and picked her up but hurt her leg so asked me to do it. I was very uncomfortable driving her big van and told her so but she insisted. Well, I was trying to back out of the long driveway and was focused on the back mirror (because children run by very quickly along the sidewalk and moms with jogging g strollers) and didn't notice I was slightly turning the wheel. Well I completely scratched the side on the stucco of the house (it was a very narrow driveway, maybe only 1 foot on either side of car). MB didn't ask me to pay for it (and I didn't offer because I couldn't afford to!) But I wouldn't have paid if she had asked. In my opinion I was in the line of duty and only driving the car because she requested me to-not my fault. I don't think I was covered, but they didn't fix it anyway. It wasn't that bad.

nycmom said...

I cannot imagine asking my nanny to replace such small lost items as a laundry card or piece of clothing. And both have happened, though I am generally wise enough not to buy expensive clothes for my kids!

Yes, it is annoying, but it is part of being an employer. Now, if a nanny broke something big via negligence such as car accident while driving drunk, I would expect her to assume responsibility. But short of negligence, the employer pays.

Alex said...

I have broken a few things while nannying and got in a fender bender once, I felt really bad for almost breaking the dvd player once and said something about if it was broken I would replace it. They said, of course not, when you are with us we take responsibility. So I don't think you should worry about it. As long as she is being careful everyone makes mistakes.

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

I think if this was an isolated incident, then you should let it go. It would be a huge problem if it happened on a more regular basis. I think the Nanny should offer to pay for it, if she does...it shows what a great Nanny she is. However, you as her Boss should just let this one go.

This is one downfall of being a Nanny to me. Some families ask me to run the vacuum, do the laundry, etc. I am always afraid that something may happen and I will get blamed. Once I was doing the laundry for a toddler, and the dryer didn't work. I told the MomBoss about it and she looked at it, saying repeatedly, "Gee...it worked perfectly fine yesterday..." It wasn't until her hubby checked it out and realized that some part wore out. Until then, I think she thought I broke it. Another family had a toddler that only would eat if I used an I-pad to let her watch a certain cartoon while she was in her high chair. Well, after I charged it, I accidentally dropped it on the wood floor and the screen broke. The parents were angry at how "careless" I must have been and made me replace it! I did, but as soon as I did, I left immediately.

Phoenix said...

actually I should be more specific. If we break things like copy machines or fax machines, or mis-place paper that is already factored into the cost of goods sold.

but if an employee loses their badge they have to replace it. As well as losing their parking pass and if they lose a company laptop and some employess like to ship their own personal mail from the company. If they are caught they have to reimburse the company.

Techincally if we steal pens and pencils as well but that has such a small material value that it doesn't matter and unless an employee walked away with thousands of pens then they don't persue

Penny said...

In my opinion it's collateral damage. I mean YOU chose to hire private daycare and allow a nanny in your home, using your car etc, if things get damaged or are not insured properly it's the employers responsibility finically and otherwise. My husband works in a field where he has a company car, and if it gets a ticket or is damaged he does not reap any repercussions finically because he needs his car for work purposes. It's the same thing, you want your kids to be cared for by another person and things get lost or damaged you just need to accept that it is all part of raising kids and she is human. Same with the car you want your nanny to take your kids to school, activities, etc, then either you provide a car insure it properly so she doesn't get screwed or you as well, or help with the cost of insurance/gas on her private vehicle. And I'm sorry you liked your daughters jacket but it's a coat, not life and death.

Phoenix said...

OMG NannyOne I can sympathize. I used to work for the antichrist. He was the most horrible man on the planet. He would call all women c#$@S to their face. Cuss people out on the phone. He threw some encyclopedias at me one day (which is the day I quit) but needless to say he was making me do his errands in this brand spankin new Jaguar. He would even have me drive it the airport to drop him off and I drove back to his house because $40 was waay to much money to pay when you make over $200k year.

Now that doesn't sound all that bad but I was only 16 when he was doing this. I was so afraid that even if I got reat-ended and it wasn't my fault her would find any reason for it to be. I had to imagine i was driving around in a car with bubble wrap everywhere.

I mean seariously who leaves their Jag with a 16 year old kid to drive it around by the airport.

in your words said...

Phoenix- Your assumption that he was a bad boss could be one-sided...There is possibility that there was nothing wrong with your boss. There was something wrong with you

MissMannah said...

I think the bigger problem here is that your nanny keeps losing stuff. She has lost 3 things in a matter of months--that's a lot. It is totally up to you if you want her to replace the jacket, but if it were me, I would want to replace the nanny.

I have never once lost an item of my employer's but once I broke a vase. I immediately texted the mom and told her I would replace it or pay her for it and she said not to worry about it and thanked me for telling her. I agree with others that things getting lost or broken is the risk you take when you hire a nanny, but any good nanny should be respectful enough to take extra precautions not to lose or break your stuff.

Phoenix said...

no trust me. it was my boss. He was always so controlling. Years later I was at the store shopping. I had spoken to him in 5 years or so. I run into him and looks in my basket to see what I'm getting. He asks me what we are having. I replied stakes. Then he proceeded to remove the steak that I bought out of my basket and then put some steak he thought were better back into my basket and said these are better.

I just stood there with my mouth open. did that really just happen

Susannah said...

The bigger problem is the habitual misplacing items.

She needs to be a bit more careful about what she's doing.

I wouldn't require her to pay up ans I would politely drcline her offers to replace items.

nannytothree said...

I once had a db bitch at me because I accidently put a blue dishtowel in with a load of whites and bleached it. When mb got wind of what happened, she gave him hell! He came to me the next day with his tail between his legs and apologized. Although I will admit, I am a habitual binky loser. I told my boss that she should probably just take the cost of a couple of binkies out of every paycheck. Of course she wouldn't do that, and she told me if her biggest problems is losing a few binkies, then she considers herself lucky.

N is for Nanny said...

Similar to some PP, I think that the occasional lost or broken item is part of working in a home and working with kids. I generally offer to replace anything that I lose/break - which is a short list - although I've never had an employer take me up on the offer. Exceptions would be things like glasses that broke in the dishwasher, when I did not load the dishwasher; something that my charge breaks that the child was deemed responsible enough to have/use (I tell MB/DB what happened, or ask the child to do so); and things that were at the natural end of their life, but I happened to be the last person to use. One of my complaints about nanny creep is that it often involves a lot of liability on the nanny's part, which I think should be excused. Like, I CAN wash a dozen super fancy and fragile wine glasses, but if one accidentally slips, am I obligated to replace it? What if adult dishes aren't really my job?

I agree with PP that it would be appropriate to ask your nanny to be more careful, and if you pardon her having to replace the jacket, she should do so as a way to show appreciation. If the losing/breaking thing is extreme (compared to other adults who spend time with your child), I would have a conversation with her about her attentiveness and care. I would also put my child in less-nice things when with nanny and specify if there are any items you do not want to leave the house - for example, maybe Tiffany teethers become home-only toys.

UmassSlytherin said...

You have an absent minded nanny who loses things. get a more responsible one.

on another note, dont buy children expensive clothes. it is foolish.

Nashville Nanny said...

I've only ever broken a stool in my career as a nanny. I, for some cah-razzzzzzzzzzzy reason, thought that the child's bathroom stool would support my weight when I stood on it to "dust the top of the 6' tall dresser" in my boss' bedroom. Hi, I'm 5'2. You have a 6'2 husband. Housekeeping isn't in my job duties, but I was nice enough to do it... sooooooooo since I wasn't tall enough, and there wasn't anything else to stand on............ shit happens. I offered to pay for it. MB said "no worries". So I moved on. Apparently she didn't because about 3 months later she mentioned it over the phone to a friend (I guess she thought I was deaf?).

I drive my boss' Mercedes SUV. I have an IPAD for work (to cyberstalk my charges) and a "company" credit card. If I break or lose something, I just go buy a new one. And I've got a signed liability waiver for the vehicle. ;)

YAY!!!! said...

in your words said...
Phoenix- Your assumption that he was a bad boss could be one-sided...There is possibility that there was nothing wrong with your boss. There was something wrong with you.

This is the best thing I have heard in a long time!!!

Nanny Brooklyn said...

I once sat on a child's play chair thinking it would support my adult weight. NOT!! I crashed to the floor and landed on my butt. When I told the MomBoss about it, she just laughed it off and replaced it.

Like someone stated, if breaking things is all you have to complain about your Nanny, then consider yourself lucky! ♥

haaha said...

LOL did Pheonix even catch that or does she full this site with so much BS she can't keep track

anon #1 said...

re-post for anonymous (you need a moniker):

Anonymous said...
Nobody in their right mind would expect a nanny to replace something that got lost. Would you expect a kid's school to replace an article of clothing that was left at school and then disappeared? Things get lost. Maybe if you are destitute and the kid will freeze to death because you can't afford a new jacket, but I doubt that is the case.

Beezus said...

Maybe you child "lost" her jacket because SHE didn't like. It's been known to happen. Just kidding.
But really now..
I tend to lose cards. I have replaced my drivers license more times than I care to remember and jewelry-forget about it. I have never lost a child though or a pet or crashed a car. The things that really matter, like your nanny it seems, I am of course very mindful of. It is very harsh to think that it is okay to fire your nanny over a lost jacket and a few laundry cards. Have a freaking heart. Haven't you ever lost anything before? Don't sweat the small stuff women!

abby said...

WHile I agree with those that say not to have her replace the items.

It's not unreasonable to expect an adult to keep track of items even if they might seem meaningless to her or aren't expensive.

Yes accidents happen, but I would be annoyed if this was a repeated behavior and if I had a nany wouldn't be opposed to replacing her or as a nanny I wouldn't be surprised to find myself replaced.

Nanny, not above the laws of physics said...

Funny, just this week I accidentally ran over my charge's baseball helmet. The kids aren't supposed to make a mess in the garage, but they do, so usually I check behind the car before getting into it. However, this time we were in a hurry and I didn't specifically check. I told him I was sorry, but also that this is why he needs to keep his things cleaned up, because accidents happen. Since I had not been using my usual level of care, I felt I should offer to replace it (they told me not to be silly and that it wasn't a big deal-- in fact they have one that fits him better, anyway). In the past 5 years of employment with this family, a few other (now long-forgotten) items have gone missing or gotten broken, and they have never expected me to replace them. The fact is, in the course of a day/week/month/year, things go wrong. Things go wrong whether the kids are with nanny or mom or dad or elephant. It's just the nature of things. If my employers had been so petty as to expect me to replace every little lost item, our relationship would not have lasted a long as it has.