Learning Life Lessons

I recently took a position as a nanny for a wealthy family, and things did not go smoothly. Now I don't need to go into details, but just know the pay was amazing, and it would have helped with a lot of my money struggles. I quit fairly quickly, because I was treated SO poorly and talked to SO rudely. In the end I realized I am much more important than any sum of money. I wanted to write in to let people know that if you are in a horrible position you need to find a way to get out as soon as possible. You are WONDERFUL and BEAUTIFUL and A GOOD PERSON. You deserve to find a job where they understand that. Money comes and goes, but you only have one you, which means you need to treat it kindly and surround yourself with positive people who make you better, not people who push you down. Another thing I learned is to always trust your gut. You know what's best for you (most of the time) and your heart and intuition will lead you. Don't choose jobs because of money. If you are really following your heart and gut money for what matters most will follow. Woah, this sounds like it isn't realized to nannying at all.... I just learned this life lesson and thought I'd pass it on.


DC nanny said...

That's where I am right now! I've already made the decision that I need to get out. Their other nanny said that when she threatened to quit once, years ago, they gave her a 20 thousand dollar raise!

Sounds great, but I already know in my heart that no sum of money can buy happiness (I've learned that from watching them!). I'd rather take a job that pays less, and be able to keep my sanity.

Thanks for he encouragement!

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

True dat!!

I have been in your situation many times my Friend and I agree w/you 100%. No amount of money is worth waking up each day absolutely DREADING going in to work. Whether it be the parents or the children, one must always consider one's sanity first and foremost. LOL.

nycmom said...

There are a few nannies on here who have posted previously about those $100K jobs. The consensus seems to be that they are 24/7 and soul-sucking. The only people who can tolerate them are those who are young and plan on doing it for 1-2 years soley to save money up.

Personally, I agree with you and would rather work two regular, decent jobs than one horrible one as a way to save. Dreading going to work everyday is no way to live a life.

I wonder and ask: Do nannies take these jobs with eyes wide open (i.e. knowing they will be treated with disdain by parents and often the kids, and knowing they will end up working 24/7) or are they truly fooled during the interview process?

nynanny said...

Good question nycmom. I once had a very similar high-paying job that although it seemed like it would be challenging, I had no idea just how "soul-sucking" (great choice of words!) it would be. In my case, the money was the draw for me. It was only for 6months and I thought for sure it'd be worth it in the long run. Never again, though. They treated me like a complete servant and worse, hardly spent a damn minute with their poor kids.

Good for OP, not taking their crap any longer. Sounds to me like it was a horrible case of job creep, which is probably what happens in 99% of these cases.

OPhere said...

The job was actually just a summer job, but I quit very early on.

I knew the job would be difficult, but I didn't know how rudely I'd be treated...

if this job had been a year long job I would have been making 120k+.

I decided I would much rather work steadily for a few families I love and adore who pay me way less, than to be treated the slave who is supposed to read the mother's mind.

Also, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT except 24/7 jobs! You NEED at least a day to yourself, especially if you are working with a very difficult family.

Anonymous said...

There is a family like this who CONSTANTLY posts their ad on sittercity. They've even started branching out to care and possibly other sites in the past month or two, because I'm pretty sure everyone on sittercity has gotten wise to them by now. I wish I could tell them how crazy their expectations are, but I can't risk an unwarranted bad review, and it's not like they would listen, anyway.

MissMannah said...

Very well said OP! I hope a lot of the younger nannies just starting out will take this to heart so they won't have to go through what we've been through to understand that these horrible jobs aren't worth the pay. Money does not buy happiness!

DC nanny said...

My job doesn't pay $100k, but it pays pretty well, and I pretty much knew from the get-go that it would be an insane year (or however long I could stand it). I didn't know how excruciating it would turn out to be. I don't regret it, because I saved a bunch, and I now have loads of new skills to add to my resume (because I was turned into an assistant/nanny/personal shopper/whatever else they wanted).

The new job I applied for that I'm really hoping to get is another one that involves a TON of traveling and long days, but the parents seem super nice and it's a different type of situation. And again, the pay is up there. I'm still young. I won't sell my soul, but it makes sense to me to save up and take the time consuming jobs while I don't have a family or a whole lot of adult responsibilities yet.

Nannyinnj said...

I agree 100%. I posted on here a few months ago about my situation and had great support from everyone who agreed I should quit. I was in a job where I finally made enough money to support myself and get my own place. A few months in the family started treating me horribly- a lot of disrespectful comments and making me feel like I was so much less than them. The decision to leave was very difficult and now I'm back home with mom and dad, but IM HAPPY. I no longer have that terrible anxiety when I wake up, and I feel like an equal again. The family has contacted me numerous times about coming back and how sorry they are that they didn't realize what they had- but I've let bygones be bygones. It was certainly their loss and even though I'm back at square one- the money was not worth my happiness. Good luck OP!

UmassSlytherin said...

I love this post! Great job, OP!

ericsmom said...

Awww, OP I wish you the best!!! I hope you find a great job no matter what it is : )

Susannah said...

Good for you, OP fantastic post!
wishing you the best in your new job!

susannah said...

you were a nanny for a time if i remember correctly. so you should be able to answer your own question unless you were very lucky in your time as a nanny or had an extremely short nanny career.

most nannies can point to several jobs where during the interview, trial period, what have you, the job and family seemed one way and over time became a different animal.

susannah said...

Ir's one thing to accept a 24/7 job it's stressful and not for me, but there are those that can handle it.

Not everyone who wants a round the clock nanny is a jerk.

It;s very different to work 24/7 and be abused.

Abuse shouldn't be tolerated even in part time gigs.

There's no contract to excuse that,

nycmom said...


I was a pt nanny during college, never ft. I also never worked a job that paid huge money! I think the most I ever made was $10/hr and I'm not THAT old. I was asking specifically about the super high paying jobs that are pretty openly 24/7.

ITA on the typical job that the interview can be deceiving, that's why I do a trial.

Susannah said...

nycmom, in my younger nannying days I took a couple of 24/7 jobs I knew going in it would be hell because of the hours/ workload.
But I was young I wanted to travel wanted to make a lot of cash, so i took the job.

Both jobs were stressful but one was made worse by employers that were nasty. They didn't seem this way during the interview process. But over time their true colors showed. I was youn nd foolish and stayed tooo long.

Now the other 24/7 family was great! they appreciated being able to have a nanny around all the time and were very kind and respectful.

Just because a job is 24/7 and pays well doesn't mean a nanny should assume she's going to be abused.

OceanBlue said...

So you were never a real nanny nycmom.

More like a babysitter.

That explains your perspective on things

NannyShell said...

Not all of the high paying jobs are soul sucking and have terrible bosses.

I have one of those $100k/24 hour live in jobs. I work with another nanny and we both work 4 days a week (We both make $500/day) There are two other people who work 3 days a week. Once the kids go to bed, we are off the clock as the accommodations are separate from the house.

MB is super nice and down to earth. She is always polite and thankful for all the help. There is also a chef, housekeepers, etc in the house... so our work is focused on the children. It's not always an easy position (one of my charges has special needs) and some days can be long, but at the end of the day I'm making a great salary with benefits, get three days off per week and love all my coworkers.

Lyn said...

I have always wondered, aside from "hollywood" parents, what do employers do for a living to be able to afford 1-2 24/7 Nannies who make 100k? Would anyone who has/is worked/ing for one of these families let me know? Because whatever it is I want to do it too! Haha.

NannyShell said...


I think it just depends on the family. My employers own their own business, but it's a very successful family business that has been around for the past 3-4 generations.

Finally! said...

I work for a very wealthy family and my basic yearly salary is $120K. This is for 50 hours a week, live-out. I also make approximately $30K a year in overtime.

My bosses are very nice to me BUT this is not a job for everyone as it is stressful working for people who have money and want everything their way. I interviewed with many wealthy families, all of whom were crazy in one way or another. I was ready to give up on finding the wealthy/nice combo but I guess I finally lucked out!